I clapped my heels to the rikka and rode back to the barracks. I had meetings to prepare for.
In the morning, Suker conducted me to the Stone Moon seat. I knew where it was but had never been in it; the seat was reserved for the highest level administration of the empire and the only Claws that regularly went there were attached to the ministers of government or the Head of the Claws himself.
"Let me do most of the talking," Suker said to me as we walked through the stone halls. "But don't be worried. Ke Jushet is a fair emodo. Tell him the truth you know."
The truth I knew that Suker had carefully coached me in. I said, "As much as I can."
"Good," Suker said, and stopped at an arch. "Suker Jabbin-emodo and his Claw Pathen Ures-emodo. We're expected."
"Come in."
I followed Suker into the sunlit room. There was an emodo there, a male my age wearing a Claw's uniform but with an embroidered edge twice the width of the one to which Suker was entitled. When we entered, he rose from a round table with three chairs. "Suker. I hear good things."
"Sir," Suker said. "The rebellion has been quelled. My Claw found the evidence and based on it we followed the dissidents to their settlement and razed it. We left the dead and brought the remainder back as prisoners."
Jushet, for this must be him, closed his eyes. "So at last, it's over."
"Yes, sir," Suker said, deferent in a way I'd never seen him.
"And this... this is the male responsible?" Jushet said, looking now at me with an appraising gaze.
I tapped my hand to my brow, inclining my head to go with the gesture of respect. "Ke Jushet."
"This is him," Suker agreed. "He was the one who discovered Rapuñal's connection to the dissidents. He uncovered House Laisira's plans to flee for the plains and won their trust so he could accompany them."
Jushet studied me and said, "We owe you a very great deal, Pathen Ures-emodo."
"Sir," I said, low. "I was only doing my duty."
"What you did was beyond your duty," Jushet said. "Not only that, but you have accomplished what dozens of Claws have failed to do... and in a very clever way." He glanced at Suker. "Was it your idea to have him infiltrate the rebels?"
"No," Suker said. "I approved his plans, but they were all his."
"Ke Suker implemented the raid," I said, striving to seem like the modest and loyal member of the Claws I had never been.
Jushet sat then, gesturing for us to join him. "I had had reports of Suker's involvement already," he said. "The Claws reporting to me have been fulsome in their praise of your dedication, Suker. They said you stayed long past necessity to make sure you'd chased down all the stragglers."
Suker inclined his head. "I didn't want to leave the job half-done, sir."
"Someone had mentioned the Claw who'd followed the dissidents to their hiding place," Jushet continued. "But not the depth of his involvement."
"We didn't want anyone to know," Suker said. "Lest they let the plan leak to Laisira."
Jushet said, "Brilliant." And laughed. He sounded... gods help me. He sounded like Suker had. Tired. And not happy... relieved, yes, but a relief without joy. I hadn't known what to expect of the head of all the Claws in the empire, but I'd been imagining someone a little more in love with power and cruelty. Not a Jokkad who seemed to like his work as little as we did.
I didn't make the mistake of thinking him an ally. Anyone with the amount of power he had, whether he enjoyed wielding it or not, would not be disposed toward unmaking the hierarchy in which he'd finally achieved a position of safety. But it did make me wonder if most of the Claws of the empire had become Claws for the same reason I had, and if the sort Hesa and Darsi had planned for were the exceptions.
The possibilities, if so....
Suker and Jushet were discussing the implications of the destruction of the truedark settlement. I listened without interrupting, the picture of respectful attention, until Jushet said, "So, you will allow the empire to show its gratitude, I hope. Suker? Have you any request? You know the size of the reward we set aside as incentive for accomplishing this goal. It would be reasonable to share it with your Claw if you wish... you could both retire very rich Jokka."
"I'd like to keep working, if it's well with you, ke Jushet," Suker said. "I don't know what I'd do with myself in retirement."
Jushet laughed. "I know just how that is. Work too long and you forget how to stop."
"Just so," Suker said. "I'll keep a fraction of the purse if it pleases you, sir. But my subordinate here has crazy dreams of his own, or so I hear."
"Oh?" Jushet said, turning to me with an indulgent smile. "It's not often I get to do something fun like, say, bestowing enormous gifts on dreamers. What's your pleasure, Pathen?"
"I wouldn't call it a crazy dream," I said, eyeing Suker as if we were revisiting an old joke. "But I would like to start a House, sir."
"A House!" Jushet said, leaning back with a quirk of his mouth. "Now Suker. What's so crazy about that?"
"What's crazy is that he wants to leave het Kabbanil," Suker said dryly.
"Leave the center of civilization!" Jushet said with a laugh. "All right, I'll give you that if it's true. Is he right, Pathen?"
"Het Kabbanil is the center of civilization," I said. "I'd like to try somewhere a little smaller."
"And where is this somewhere smaller you'd like to go?" Jushet asked, amused.
"Het Narel," I said.
"Het Narel!" he said, laughing again. "From the largest city on Ke Bakil to the second largest? I thought you wanted to get away from the center of civilization?"
"Well, yes," I said. "But not so far away I'm keeping neighbors with herds of rikka." I waited for Jushet to finish laughing and said, "What I really want is a fresh start, ke Jushet. If I stay in het Kabbanil every Jokkad I grew up with will have an opinion on how I should run things."
"Now that I can sympathize with," Jushet said, chuckling. "So, you want to go paint a House stone in het Narel? I think I can arrange that with Minister Thesenet. He'd be pleased to have a hero of the empire choosing his town for a home, and giving you a House would be appropriately grand in the eyes of the Jokka. We'll send you off properly with money, your choice of people—I assume you have some in mind to go with you?—and maybe even a few trophy anadi if you'd like, to establish you as one of the Stone Moon's favored."
"That would be more honor than I would ever have expected to earn," I said.
"That would be less than you deserve for what you've done," he said. "Go on, then, and start making your plans... you'll have plenty to do if you want to start combing through Transactions for a hundred-plus Jokka willing to leave with you! We'll have a ceremony to celebrate your and ke Suker's accomplishments and then you'll be on your way."
"Thank you, sir," I said, rising at the dismissal. I tapped my brow to them both and backed out of the room until I'd left it.
Suker joined me in my office later, turning the chair and straddling it. "The ceremony'll be in a week."
"Plenty of time," I said.
"Jushet was impressed with you," he continued. "But he also asked me to plant a spy in your Household." He lifted a brow. "Said if you'd been a good enough actor to fool House Laisira into taking you to their breast, you could be a good enough actor to be planning something."
"I didn't expect any less," I said. "I'm surprised he told you, actually."
"So am I," he said. "So expect two spies. Mine and Jushet's." He rose. "Make your plans, Pathen. And stay out of trouble until the ceremony."
"Trouble is the furthest thing from my mind," I said.
That night I walked to the ruins, not wanting to chance anyone spotting the rikka from a distance. I sat in the lee of the frieze and closed my eyes to wait, straining the wind for the sound of footsteps. They were quiet; that I heard them long in advance of their intention was only because I knew to seek them. I sat up and twisted to look over the edge of the tumbled stone pediment: three silhouettes, shrouded in hoo
ded cloaks, barely visible by starlight.
"So you have succeeded," Ilushet said.
"We leave in a week," I answered, rising to my feet and dusting off my pants. "I'll need credible identities for the Jokka who'll be forming my Household."
"I can take care of that," Hesa said from behind Ilushet.
"Not all of us are going," Ilushet continued. "Some of us will stay in the wilds. We will need people who can contact Thenet when it returns and others to create new safeholds in case you fail."
"Good idea," I said.
"So it's to be het Narel?" the third Jokkad said, and that was Abadil. He stepped forth and I saw the light in his eyes even from beneath the deep shadows of the hood.
"Yes," I said. "And anything you can do to begin to ease our way there would be appreciated. You'll be in my official Household, I hope?"
"Yes," Abadil said. "I was never reported as a rebel... they assumed I drank myself to death on the plains one night. There are people who will be relieved to discover that untrue. They'll help."
"Good," I said. "Then we all have work to do. Plan for spies; there will be at least two I know of, maybe more."
"When aren't there spies," Abadil said, blowing his forelock back with the force of his sigh.
I grinned at him. "What were you in het Narel? The town pessimist?"
"The town clay-keeper," Abadil said. "So, same thing."
I laughed. "Yes, I am planning to work you hard, ke Abadil."
"Good," he said. "I'm long past ready."
Ilushet said, "Ke emodo... we go to prepare. We will meet you one more time to share the details with you before you set off. Expect us in three days."
"Very good," I said. "We have wasted enough time."
It rested the side of its hand on its chest, the neuter's respect to a male, and withdrew. Abadil's salute was far more energetic, delivered with a grin. And both of them, I saw, left me with Hesa. I wondered if Ilushet knew about us and was staring after it when Hesa said, "It doesn't, no. But I wouldn't be surprised if it suspects. Thenet loved an anadi, after all."
I looked at it and said, "No torture. I wasn't able to arrange to avoid the public dais, though."
"You broke with our deal," it said, resting its palm on my chest.
"You can punish me appropriately later," I said, amused.
"Now that there will be a later," it agreed. And added with a smile, "You bought me one of our own scarves."
"Did it please you?" I said, smiling.
"It made me laugh when little else has been able to these past weeks," Hesa said. Softer, "My House, Pathen. My House."
I drew it to me and rested my head against the rough cloth of its hood.
"Over six hundred of us," it whispered against my throat. "Six hundred, Pathen. And four hundred of them died or were enslaved. I sent them to that. I thought they would be safe. They went because I told them it would be safe."
I grasped it by the arms, ducking my head so I could look at its face. Once I had its reluctant attention, I said, "They went because they couldn't bear the Stone Moon and they were willing to take their fates into their hands. Don't rob them of their courage by taking the responsibility for their choice on your own shoulders."
"I am... I was... their pefna," Hesa said. "Their pefna and their Head of Household in everything but name. They trusted me."
"You did everything you could to ensure their safety," I said. "And you would have succeeded except for a fluke. Rapuñal gave you away."
"W-what?" Hesa said, startled. "Rapuñal? But... oh no. They tried to rescue Ajul, didn't they."
I smiled a little. "And revealed themselves to the Stone Moon, yes."
Hesa let its head fall until it bumped against my chest. And then whispered, "Over four hundred people, Pathen."
"Yes," I said. "And nothing can bring back the dead. All we can do is make their sacrifice mean something and work to save the living... and most of them are living, Hesa. Living, and imprisoned by the empire. You and I can do something for them. And we must."
It sighed, warming my skin through the vest. "Yes. Three days."
"Make sure you're on the rolls," I said.
"Don't worry," it said, smiling a little. "I'll put together a perfect fiction for your new House. I already have some ideas. And I'll enlist Abadil's help, he's a story-teller."
"Good," I said, and kissed its brow. "Go carefully."
"You also," it whispered. "Setasha."
And then it left me before I could object to the endearment... or more importantly, return it. Setasha... beloved.
I made my way back to the city, and made sure no one followed.
I had told Hesa the truth when I'd said I didn't witness the torture of the errant lovers on the punishment dais in the center of het Kabbanil. But I was familiar with that dais, for it had been less than a year since I'd served as the minister of justice's hand in the sentencing of Ajul Rapuñal-eperu. There had been other Claws in attendance to represent the omnipresence and power of the empire, but as the lucky Claw who'd caught Ajul in the act of leeching money from the Stone Moon's coffers, I'd been selected to bleed him into the jar that symbolized the life payment he now owed the Jokka for his crimes.
That day... that day remained stark in my memory. The smell of the summer storm in the sky, wet and electric; the rasp of Ajul's harsh breathing; the feel of his mane in my fist, smooth and thin and warmed from his skin. I remembered using the knife on him, and how often I'd been forced to in order to fill the jar, the hateful jar. I remembered the interminability of the ceremony and how much I'd wanted to be anywhere else.
I hadn't looked forward to mounting the platform again—the memories were gritty in my mind, like the ashes of the settlement had been to my fingers—but of the two halves of this enterprise I thought I had the easier task. How Hesa and the others planned to slip two hundred Jokka into my employ and have it look legitimate I couldn't imagine. Better to climb the dais and let Jushet and Minister Iren congratulate Suker and his subordinate before all the het than to put my hand on that part of the operation, and certainly fail.
And yet the moment I was on the dais I was plagued with a sense of vertigo. It was early autumn, not summer, and there was no blood being spilled, no prisoner, no menace beyond that implicit in everything involving the empire. But I felt as if I was there again. I was surrounded by the mask-like faces of all the Jokka who could crowd into het Kabbanil's central square, and that was many, too many to count, and all the ones nearest me... their eyes were shuttered.
I remembered coming to the public square of het Kabbanil for better reasons before the Stone Moon was established. I remembered seeing faces there, faces with visible emotion. I remembered seeing eperu and anadi among the emodo in near equal numbers. I remembered seeing children—when was the last time I'd seen a child outside the anadi residences where the Stone Moon now raised them apart from any other influence?
I remembered a city that knew itself, and people who knew one another. I remembered being proud to live there.
Looking out at the crowd, I didn't think any of the people watching did.
Minister Iren was praising us now, speaking with great eloquence of the rewards we had earned. I believe I made the proper replies. I must have, for there was no pause in the ceremony. But when my eyes were not required to be on the minister or Jushet, they rested on the Jokka witnessing the spectacle not because it was their pleasure, for they had ceased to know pleasure long ago, and not because it was their duty, for without pleasure how can one know duty? They came and they watched out of an animal sense that they needed to know their masters' moods.
I left the square wearing my own mask, one of an honored soldier of the empire. But beneath it I was reeling in a way I hadn't even after bleeding Ajul. So many people with living bodies and dead eyes. The empire had saved us from the inevitability of the mind-death with its laws... and consigned us to blighted spirits.
What I wanted most following the ceremony was
to retreat to my office and shut the door on the World. Naturally I spent the next few hours besieged by visitors. A stream of Claws of every rank from the newest hire to emodo of Suker's more rarified position came by to wish me well and give me gifts.
Gifts.
I found the process appalling. It wasn't until near the end of the flow that I began to look past my revulsion and truly see their expressions. They weren't there to congratulate me for defeating the empire's enemies, but for leaving het Kabbanil to begin my own House. None of them wanted to talk about what I'd done to earn my reward, but that I'd chosen it and was escaping....
By the time I shut the door on my office to make my hours-long circuitous route to my rendezvous at the ruins, I felt the Void's own cold in the hollows of my teeth, in my bones. I'd thought the blank gazes of the witnesses at the ceremony had been horror enough without adding the scars of my fellow Claws to it.
"Your contact in Transactions is Tanden Cheriet-emodo," Hesa said. We were sitting on one of the fallen columns, bent close beneath the shadow of a partial wall; even with two of the truedark Jokka patrolling the perimeter of the ruins, we kept our voices low. "He's in Contracts. We don't have any people in Holdings or Grievances anymore so you want to stay clear of those parts of the office. The people you'll be hiring will be coming out of House Molan. There are one hundred and forty of us. The rest Abadil is going to bring to us in het Narel; he knows the emodo who used to head Transactions there and they still have people they can trust in the office. It'll be easier for us in Narel since it's less likely any of us will be recognized. Normally Transactions wouldn't know any of us either, not with the size of het Kabbanil, but because Laisira was recently "lost" the matter will be on their mind."
A Bloom in the North Page 6
