Kael

by Lori Wilde

  Yeah. Just what she wanted, a night alone with Kael in some romantic honeymoon suite. Who knew what ulterior motives lurked up his sleeve? Well, she was having none of it. They had an agreement. This marriage was in name only.

  “There’s too much work to be done on the farm. I don’t have time for frivolous things like a honeymoon.” Then, before Aunt Peavy or Kael could protest, Daisy took Travis’ hand and started across the street to where Kael’s pickup truck was parked.

  “That’s right, Miss High-and-Mighty,” she heard Kael mumble. “Keep your guard up. Don’t dare let anyone get close enough to care about you.”

  Bristling, Daisy halted in the middle of the street and turned around to glare at Kael. “I tried trusting someone once. Remember?” She looked down at her son. “We both know how that turned out.”

  “Daisy.” Kael stalked over to grab her elbow in a viselike grip. “Get out of the street.”

  A car horn blared.

  “Oh, my. Oh, my,” Aunt Peavy exclaimed, still perched on the courthouse lawn. “Somebody’s gonna get run over.”

  “Mom,” Travis said, his eyebrows bunched together in a worried expression. “Are you and my new daddy having a fight?”

  “No, Travis, we’re not having a fight,” Kael said. He ushered Daisy and Travis to the curb before going back across the street to collect Aunt Peavy.

  All resistance left Daisy’s body. She had to start controlling her responses to Kael, especially in front of Travis. She shouldn’t allow the man to affect her the way he did.

  Travis and Aunt Peavy chattered on the way home, relieving Daisy of carrying on a conversation with Kael. For that, she was grateful. She sat quietly, seat belt girded around her lap, the bridal bouquet clutched in her lap.

  An inexplicable sadness settled over her.

  This was her wedding day. She should be deliriously happy. Instead, the future loomed murky and uncertain. How long could this last? When would he grow tired of his impersonation of husband and father and hit the road? Worst of all, how long before Kael eroded her defenses, and she allowed him into her bed?

  Daisy bit down on her knuckle at the thought. She peeked over to see Kael. The scent of roses and carnations hung in the air, reminding her of what had just taken place. A wedding. Like

  it or not, the three of them were now a family. She had to find some way of coming to terms with that.

  “Daisy?”

  She raised her head. Kael dangled the truck keys from his finger. His tone was kind, tender and touched her more than she dared to admit.

  “Huh?”

  “We’re home.”

  Chapter Nine

  HOME.

  She glanced around to see they were indeed back at the farm. “Oh.”

  Aunt Peavy and Travis had already gotten out of the vehicle and were making their way inside. Panic washed through her.

  They were alone. Together. She and Kael. Mr. and Mrs. Carmody.

  “Let’s take a walk,” Kael suggested.

  “I don’t want to.”

  “We need to talk.”

  There was a pleading in his eyes she’d never seen before. Despite her resolve, she felt her heart thaw.

  “Okay,” she acquiesced, letting him help her out of the truck. His touch, as always, was disorienting. He looped his elbow through hers and guided her down the driveway toward the honey house.

  “You’re still angry with me,” he said, the spring breeze lightly ruffling his hair as they walked. His tangy cologne mixed with the smell of honeysuckle growing along the fence row and teased her nostrils.

  “I don’t know if angry is the right word—”

  “You’ve never forgiven me for what happened.”

  “I haven’t,” she said, the old familiar hurt stabbing her fresh and new. “I don’t know if I can.”

  “It was a long time ago, and I’m sorry for all the suffering I put you through. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you, but I did.”

  She looked into his face. Gone was the cocky, self-assured Kael of old. The man walking beside her was contrite, apologetic.

  “It’s not something I can turn on and off like a switch.”

  “You can’t hold a grudge for the rest of my life, Daisy. You’re only hurting yourself in the long run.”

  “How do you figure?”

  “You’re turning bitter. Is that the way you want to spend your life?”

  His words hit her hard. They were too true. Daisy ducked her chin and stared down at the dry, yellowed grass. She had been so hurt, she’d built a wall around her feelings. He was right. She did not want to spend her life angry and bitter.

  “Haven’t I paid enough for my sins? I’ve missed out on six years of my son’s life,” Kael went on.

  “I did agree to marry you. That’s a start, isn’t it?” She pointed out, eager to show him she wasn’t hopeless.

  He stopped walking and cupped her hand in both of his. “Then let’s make this a true marriage, Daisy. Let’s try to make it work. For the sake of our son. He needs parents pulling together to make a real family. Can you do that?”

  “What do you mean by a ‘true marriage’?” She raised her chin and bravely met his gaze head on; her pulse galloped.

  “I mean a marriage in every sense of the word.”

  “I’m sorry, Kael, I don’t think I can give you what you’re asking.”

  “Why is that? Because you’re afraid to be loved, both emotionally and physically?”

  “I’m not afraid,” Daisy denied, but her voice warbled.

  “I think you are.”

  “Since when did you become an expert on my feelings?”

  “Since the first time I kissed you.”

  “Ha.” Oh no, she was doing it again. Sounding bitter.

  “Scoff if you will, but you hold your true emotions in check on purpose. You get mad to

  hide the fact you’re terrified of life.”

  “Me? Terrified of life? Who’s the one who stayed here and assumed responsibility for your son? Who ran off to play cowboy?”

  “Stop playing the martyr, Daisy. It’s been your favorite part to play, but the reality is you threw yourself into hard work to keep from facing the truth. You stayed, but it’s because you were too scared to do anything else. Too scared to even make love to me. That’s why you don’t want me in your bed. Not because you’re mad, but because you’re just plain chicken.”

  “That’s not true,” she denied, but deep inside she feared he was right.

  “Is it? Then explain why you’re still a virgin at twenty-six when most women are married with children. You’ve made it clear enough it isn’t because you’ve been pining away for me.”

  Her face flamed hot. How had he known? Mortified that he’d guessed her secret, Daisy tried to pull away from him, but Kael clung tighter to her hand.

  “No, ma’am,” he said sharply, “you’re not storming off. You’re going to stay here until we hash this out.”

  “Please let me go,” she whispered.

  “Daisy, it’s okay to be scared. All you have to do is admit it. You don’t have to hide anything from me, sweetheart.”

  “Please don’t call me that.” Even her tone sounded panicky.

  “Why not? You’re my wife.” He stroked her arm and sent goose bumps fleeing down her spine. “A man’s supposed to say nice things to his wife.”

  Wife.

  The word should have pleasant, happy connotations; instead, it felt like a noose. Tight and getting tighter, the higher his hand caressed.

  No. She wasn’t ready. Wasn’t prepared to assume this new role.

  “Please,” she said again, “I can’t.”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  She jerked away from him, and this time Kael let her go. Daisy turned and ran as fast as she could, the truth hitting her like a hammer. Face it, Daisy Hightower, deep down inside, you’re a coward.

  SEVERAL WEEKS PASSED after their wedding day.

  Kael spent most o
f his spare time with Travis. They attended the father-son Cub Scout fishing trip and had a blast. They built a campfire and roasted marshmallows, skipped stones over the stock pond, and rode horses. They played catch in the backyard, went to the movie matinee on Saturdays, and attended church services on Sunday mornings. Like a water-starved plant, the boy soaked up Kael’s attention.

  To Kael’s surprise, he felt none of the negative emotions he’d once associated with parenthood. He never felt burdened or crowded or trapped. Desperate to make up for those lost years, each minute with his son was precious, even when they did nothing more than watch television together.

  Travis asked a million questions about his life on the rodeo circuit. While Kael was thrilled to talk about his adventures to the boy, he was not in the least inclined to return to the life that was so quickly fading into the background.

  Why had he resisted settling down for so long? Why had he ever imagined that fatherhood would be a death knell to his own youth? What had he been looking for on the rodeo circuit, that he couldn’t get right here in Rascal?

  Kael puzzled over the questions. The happiness bull riding had brought to him paled in comparison to having a son.

  Except for his relationship with Daisy, life had never been so enriching.

  Daisy, however, was another story. Things between them remained strained, and he didn’t know how to reach her.

  During the day they worked side by side reorganizing the depleted hives. But she could go for hours without talking. When he tried to make light conversation, she answered him in monosyllables. Eventually he gave up trying to get her attention and concentrated on strengthening the bond between himself and Travis.

  She’ll come around, he assured himself, but deep down inside, he was beginning to wonder.

  In truth, he loved her more now than ever. Watching her in work brought him to understand exactly what she’d sacrificed for his son over the years.

  If only there were some way to break through the barrier that she’d erected around herself and her emotions. For Kael knew that underneath that hard outer shell lay the most tender of hearts. A heart so vulnerable, so fragile she refused to allow anyone near for fear of getting hurt again.

  And he’d been the cause of so much of her pain.

  That knowledge was the one thing that kept him holding on, clinging to the hope that one day Daisy would give her love free rein, forgive him his sins, and welcome him back home with open arms. Until then, he could do nothing but give her space and wait.

  At night Kael slept in the spare bedroom, fighting growing thoughts of how things could be between them. Torturing himself with visions of Daisy, her dark-red hair flowing freely down her back, her slender, well-built body encased in a thin, white cotton nightgown, he imagined her

  slipping into his room at midnight, her pent-up passion, so hot and deep, spilling over him in erotic waves. He pictured them making love on the cool, crisp sheets, their bodies joined, their perspiration mingled.

  In the end, he was only driving himself crazy because Daisy showed no signs of giving in. He tried every tactic—kind words, thoughtful gifts, generous gestures. He ran bathwater for Travis. He cooked breakfast. He washed dishes. Trying to show her this parenthood thing was a team effort. She would thank him, then go about her business.

  Kael racked his brain, striving for some way to crack her brick wall and make her take a second look at him. Finally, three weeks after their marriage, he simply decided to leave her to her own devices.

  “We need to recolonize the eight hives near the stock pond,” Daisy announced one Saturday morning. Kael and Travis sat on the couch, still in their pajamas, eating sugar-frosted cornflakes and watching the Cartoon Network. “Boss Martin at the feed store called to say the new queens have arrived. I’m going to pick them up.” She stared at them, a gleam of envy in her eyes.

  She’s feeling left out, Kael thought.

  “I’ll be back in half an hour, and I hope to see you both dressed and off the couch.” She twirled the truck keys on her finger.

  “Aw, Mom,” Travis complained.

  “Don’t ‘aw, Mom’ me,” she scolded. “You have chores.”

  “Daisy don’t be such a grouch,” Kael coaxed. “Relax, it’s Saturday morning.”

  “The bees don’t know what day of the week it is,” she said. “I’ve got a lot of work to do.”

  She seemed sad and lonely. Kael ached to reach out to her and draw her into the circle of his arms, but the firm set to her shoulders warned him off. Oh, Daisy, if you’d only let yourself, you could be curled up with us, too!

  Without a backward glance, she scooped up her purse from the wing chair and left the room. Kael winced, put his empty cereal bowl on the coffee table, and ran a hand down his face.

  Could Daisy’s heart ever be repaired? Had he ruined her loving spirit when he’d inadvertently slept with Rose?

  Daisy, Daisy, Daisy, how can I reach you? Kael fretted. The answer floated to him, simple and true.

  Tell her you love her.

  He hadn’t told her he loved her before now because he feared she wouldn’t believe him. For Daisy, words weren’t enough. She had to be shown. When she came to accept that he wasn’t going to leave, then she’d start to trust him.

  What if she never did?

  That idea, glaring in its possibility, wrenched his gut. No. He refused to give up. He’d keep at her until she understood how much he loved her.

  “Come on, sport,” Kael said, affectionately ruffling Travis’ hair. “Let’s make your mom happy.” He picked up the remote control and snapped off the television set.

  “Okay.” Travis sprang off the couch. “Maybe we can go outside and fly my Batman kite before she gets home.”

  Kael glanced out the window. “I don’t know if it’s windy enough.”

  “Please?” Travis turned his hazel eyes on Kael and melted him instantly.

  “Okay, champ, we’ll give it a shot.” Kael clapped his hands. “Now, let’s get rolling.”

  DRIVING BACK FROM THE feed store, a dozen boxes of caged queen bees wedged securely in the bed of Kael’s pickup truck, Daisy mentally scolded herself for her sour attitude. Since her marriage to Kael, she’d been on edge.

  She hated being this way. She wanted to laugh and smile and have a good time. But she was scared. Terrified that if she let down her guard Kael would break her heart all over again. Even if Kael was kidding himself that he could be the perfect father, she knew better. Eventually he’d grow tired of the demands of family responsibilities. Eventually his old restlessness would rear its ugly head. Eventually the glamorous lure of the rodeo would have him shuffling on down the road.

  Oh sure, for now he was pulling out all the stops, making the grand gesture of playing proud papa, but Daisy knew that could not last. The picnics, the ball games, the horseback rides would come to a screeching halt once the novelty of having a son wore off and the reality of parenthood

  set in. Wait until Kael discovered what it was like to nurse a sick kid through the night or get a call from the school principal concerning a discipline problem or spend tedious hours helping with homework.

  What’s the matter, Daisy, jealous?

  The thought, like a sharp jolt from the devil’s pitchfork, prodded her.

  “That’s ridiculous,” Daisy muttered under her breath. “I’m not jealous of Kael.”

  But she had to admit it irked her that he’d wheedled his way into Travis’ heart so easily. They’d formed an instant rapport that sometimes left Daisy feeling like the bad guy when she had to enforce bedtime hours or deny Travis the sweet desserts Kael brought home. Sure, it was easy for Kael. He got to be the hero.

  Sighing, Daisy turned into the driveway. She killed the pickup’s engine, got out, and went inside to find Aunt Peavy making chicken soup and a tossed green salad for lunch.

  “Hi,” Daisy greeted her. “How was choir practice?”

  “Not too bad. Though somebody should tell Myrtle
Higgins that she can’t sing. ’Course Reverend Hobson is not about to say a word to the poor old soul.”

  Daisy cloaked a smile. Three-fourths of the ladies in the church choir, Aunt Peavy included, sang off-key.

  “Where’s Kael and Travis?” Daisy asked. “Not still in front of the television set, I hope.”

  Aunt Peavy shrugged. “I dunno. They were gone when Jenny dropped me off.”

  “Hmm, where did they get off to?”

  “Jenny will be back for me around six. We’re rehearsing all evening for the passion play on Sunday, so Jenny just invited me to spend the night with her. Is that okay with you?”

  “Sure.” Daisy spied a note stuck to the refrigerator with a Cookie Monster magnet. She plucked the piece of paper off the door and read what Kael had written: Daisy, we’re already at the pond. Love, K and T.”

  Love?

  Her pulse quickened.

  Don’t read anything into it. It’s just something people put in a letter.

  What were they doing at the pond? Daisy hoped this didn’t mean that Kael and Travis were attempting to handle the bees on their own without her supervision. Kael knew little about beekeeping and although Travis was familiar with the procedures, he was still a little boy.

  Frowning, she fidgeted with her wedding ring. She still hadn’t gotten used to the weight of it on her finger. Just as she hadn’t yet gotten used to sharing her life and her son.

  Why had he taken the boy off without waiting for her?

  Darn him.

  A calm, peaceful voice whispered in the back of her head. Don’t be so contrary, Daisy.

  Willing herself into a more positive frame of mind, Daisy went back outside, opened the gate

  to the back pasture, then drove the truck through the field. The vehicle bumped and swayed over the rutted dirt road leading to the stock pond located at the farm’s back perimeter.

  Something in the sky caught her attention, and she raised her eyes to the clouds. A black Batman kite dipped and bobbed. Relief washed over her. Kael and Travis weren’t messing with the bees; they were flying a kite.

  She rounded a clump of oak trees flanking the stock pond on the left. To the right lay the eight beehives she’d positioned near the wildflowers growing along the top of the pond. This time of the year, only sunflowers remained, the bluebonnets, black-eyed Susan, and paintbrushes had disappeared for the season.