by Addison Fox
He took full advantage of that promise, his finger slipping beneath the edge of her panties. Then slipped farther to sink into her body. Her chest contracted against his, her breathing growing tortured, as he found a rhythm.
The promised pleasure of earlier in her studio returned, more urgent now. More needy. Desire was a living entity between them, the knowledge of all they could make together.
Her head fell back, exposing the long column of her throat. It was simple—passionate—but it was the response that let him know she was close to the edge.
He dragged pleasure from her with his fingers. Demanded it. Wrung it from every pore as he drew a response forth, stroke by stroke. And when a hard moan rose up in her throat, he swallowed the cry with a kiss.
He knew she was nearly there by the way her body clenched around his fingers. Deliberate now, he changed the game, determined to drag her to the most ragged edge. His own movements equally ragged, he hooked her panties with his thumbs and dragged the silk along with the heavier material of her skirt.
And then simply stopped to look his fill.
She was exquisite, open before him. Ready for him.
He wanted to make it last. Wanted the moment to go on and on, forever perfect. But his own needs betrayed him.
Hawk felt her hands slip into his back pocket. Felt her free the foil packet he’d stuffed in there earlier. He rolled to the side, removing his jeans and briefs as she worked the foil.
They were both feverish, their movements jerky in their haste to join. His jeans fell off the bed and he’d already returned to her side before they hit the floor.
Her hands flowed over him, unrolling the condom over straining flesh.
And then they were joined, bodies pressed together as they sought only what the other could give.
Claudia glided him into her body, pulling him home as he eased past her entrance. The subtle rhythm that had driven them up to now rose up, growing stronger.
It was a steady, driving heartbeat linking them both as one.
Hawk wanted that heartbeat to go on forever. Wanted to wrap her up in his arms and never let her go. Wanted to tell her all that was in his heart.
But the crashing needs of his body won the moment and he began to move inside of her. Exquisite pleasure swamped him as her body sheathed him. Drew him in.
Welcomed him home.
Chapter 17
Hawk held her close, his arms tight around her. Abstractly, Claudia wondered why she didn’t feel claustrophobic, only to realize she felt the opposite.
She felt free.
Was it possible?
With all she and her family had dealt with, was it possible to lift beyond that? To not only believe in her future, but to have hope for it, as well?
A resounding yes filled her, buoying her up.
The desire for freedom and escape—something that had dogged her for her entire life—had simply vanished. Instead, she’d gladly stay here forever.
So long as she could share it with Hawk, of course.
The events of the night before had been everything she’d hoped, and more. Whatever reticence he’d initially had to pursue a relationship seemed to have faded. Even the pain of losing his wife—and the life he’d had before—didn’t feel quite as sharp, either.
They would need to address it. If she hoped to have a strong and lasting relationship with the man, they’d absolutely need to address his pain and the guilt he carried as a survivor. Jennifer Huntley wasn’t a part of his past to be shoved away and forgotten. Nor would Claudia want her to be.
It was something she’d always hated about her mother and had vowed never to do.
People weren’t disposable. And while not every couple got fifty years and happily-ever-after, it didn’t diminish the love they shared when they were together.
“That’s an awfully fierce look on your face. You always wake up loaded for bear?”
Hawk’s voice was sleepy as he grinned down at her. His beard had grown overnight and it gave him an edgy look—rather as fierce as he’d just teased her for being.
“I’m not mad.”
“You sure about that? I could have sworn I saw your lips move.”
“I was thinking about my mother.” She quieted, not entirely sure if she should press on, then decided better of it. If they had any hope for a relationship, then it needed to be one steeped in honesty.
She wasn’t Livia Colton and that wasn’t simply a statement about maternal biology. It was a statement about how she wanted to live her life. How all she’d observed growing up had helped shape her and the decisions she wanted to make as an adult.
“I was also thinking about Jennifer.”
He went from sleepy to awake in a matter of moments, his body seeming to brace for an attack. “That’s a lot to think about. Mind if I ask how you connected the two?”
“I was thinking about my mother and how she went through relationships like they were last season’s fashions. She used and discarded men. She obviously did it with the poor souls involved in the various businesses she ran, enterprises that were fronts for the worst sorts of crimes. And she did it to her children.”
“Yes, she did.”
Wariness still lurked in his eyes, but she’d sensed the slightest easing. As if he wasn’t bracing for pain.
“I was also thinking about Jennifer because I don’t know where things are going with us. I know where I’d like them to go, but there are two of us in this bed. In this relationship.” She stopped, scrambled to sit up, the words filling her chest. “But I don’t ever want her to be a subject that’s off-limits. She was your wife. You loved each other and made vows to each other. I don’t expect that to go away. More, I don’t want it to go away.”
He lay in that same position, unmoving, for several moments. His gaze remained steady on her, but he didn’t say anything. Worse, she had the horrible, sinking feeling that she’d overstepped.
Claudia pulled the sheet up, draping it over her breasts, then tucking it beneath her arms. Her stomach did a slow, slinking slide, through her body and on toward the floor. At least she’d tried. At least she’d tried to say all she felt. She’d take solace in that.
Well, it was fun while it lasted, Colton.
“I love you.”
His eyes remained inscrutable but the words were unmistakable.
“You what?” She scrambled to make sense of it. Of him.
“I love you, Claudia. All of you. Everything about you.”
Acceptance. And love, without any strings. “I love you, too.” She reached for his hand, the beauty of the moment not fully able to erase the lump in her throat. “I thought I just upset you.”
“You couldn’t be farther from the truth.” He pushed himself into a seated position, uncaring of the sheet as he pulled her close, pressing his forehead to hers. “Wherever I’ve been. Whatever pit I’ve lived in for the past four years, nothing I could have imagined could compare to you. You’re generous and warm. You’re loving. And you’ve embraced me along with the woman I loved.”
Hope filled her. Even with all they faced, she couldn’t deny the bright, blooming streams of hope that burst in her chest. “She died, Hawk. That doesn’t erase her existence. I wouldn’t want to do that and I don’t expect you to do it, either.”
“That’s what I’ve been doing. For the past four years, I’ve been trying to erase her. To pretend she didn’t exist.” A hard sob caught in his throat and Claudia felt the tears that rolled hot down his face, where they splashed against her cheeks. “I don’t want to forget her anymore.”
“I don’t want you to, either.” She placed her hands on his cheeks, wiping the tears away with her thumbs, only to stop the futile effort.
It was time to let the tears fall.
Time t
o let him grieve death so he could move on to life.
* * *
Saturday morning dawned bright and pretty, a perfect June day. She and Hawk had spent all their time together since heading to the dance hall on Thursday night. Their idyllic day and a half had been full of laughter and exploration and even a few more tears.
But they’d spent it together.
As they turned into Mac’s driveway, there to help with the final preparations for the wedding and for her to assist Maggie with the dress, Claudia looked forward to her future. Quiet hope for all that was to come had been her steady companion and with the sun shining high in the sky, everything seemed possible.
Even the lurking danger seemed less severe. She fought thinking too hard about it, because she didn’t want to obsess over it or, on the opposite end, become complacent. But she refused to look over her shoulder. She’d done that for far too long with Ben and it needed to stop.
Hawk had even helped allay her fears on that front. He’d reached out to a few contacts and also used some of the resources at his disposal to confirm Ben Witherspoon hadn’t traveled out of New York over the past month. Additionally, the history of his credit card transactions matched much of what she knew of him—expenses at his club, a few visits to bars he favored, and a rather pricey purchase at Tiffany’s.
But no trips or expenses linking him to Shadow Creek or to Texas.
She’d like to warn off whatever woman would be the recipient of the jewelry, but had no way of knowing. So instead, she said a small prayer the woman would wise up far faster than she had.
All there was to do now was enjoy the wedding. And they’d figure their way around all the rest.
She was sure of it.
She glanced around the bedroom that used to be hers and Jade’s. Maggie’s dress hung from the closet door, the beautiful folds capturing the light. She’d set that up first, then her prep stations for makeup, hair and nails. Claudia had even convinced Jade to get in on the fun when they were together Thursday night and took that as a major victory.
So when everyone tumbled in a half hour later, it was to the feminine oasis she’d created in the only home she’d ever loved.
“This is awesome!” Maggie couldn’t stop exclaiming over everything, her bright smile lighting up her face. “I even did as you asked. I did nothing to my hair. My face is bare. And my nails are, well—” She broke off, giggling. “Embarrassing.”
“Welcome to my lair.” Claudia winked at her and seated her before a small table and a bowl of warm soapy water. “Nails first.”
The chatter was high and no topic was off-limits. From honeymoon destinations to Allison’s advice on a good flooring subcontractor to Jade’s recommendation of a new farrier she’d tried.
All in all, the Colton women had diverse interests and it showed in their discussion.
And if the men in their lives all made it a point to amble their way past the door, only to be shooed off, well, that was family, too.
“They’re convinced we’re having pillow fights in our panties in here.” Allison stood by the door and said the words as loud as she could.
Knox’s resounding “I’m coming!” winged back down the hallway from the kitchen.
Allison then made a fuss about slamming the door, her smile satisfied as she leaned against it. “Men.”
“Speaking of which, I’ve been patient. I really have. But when do we get details on the delectable Hawk Huntley?”
Although Maggie asked the question, Leonor, Allison and Jade were all quick to line up behind where the bride sat on a stool having her makeup applied, their expressions equally eager.
“He’s a great guy, Claudia—”
“Tell us more—”
“Spill. Come on with the details—”
“Why do I feel like I’ve suddenly fallen into a Broadway production of Grease?” Claudia asked, unable to work up any sense of anger at the four eager faces that stared back at her.
She wanted to share. It felt good and right. And it was fun.
And who could argue with that?
* * *
Hawk finished hanging about a hundred yards of bunting, ordered about with laser-sharp precision by Cody. Although the majority of the wedding would take place in a large tent about a hundred yards from the house, Maggie had wanted to celebrate her marriage ceremony under the big Texas sky.
Hawk had already heard the arguments—Thorne had wanted everything hung the day before—but the concerns over a summer thunderstorm had marred that final bit of preparation. It had been an easy chore to take on and seemed to set everyone’s mind at ease that they could worry about one less thing with respect to the preparations and he’d taken on transforming the seating area with his little helper in tow.
“It looks good, Hawk.” The boy nodded. “I think we’ve earned pancakes.”
“We?” Hawk eyed the small boy, his gaze already distracted by the horses visible across the property.
Dragging his gaze off the horses, Cody pointed toward the sky. “Sure. I mean, I helped you and all. Told you where everything needed to go.”
“You sure did, kiddo.” He ruffled the boy’s hair and stood with him, assessing their work. “It does look good.”
“Uncle Thorne and Aunt Maggie are going to have a baby.”
“Yes, they are.”
Thoughts of Cody’s pony discussion earlier in the week had him wary, so the boy’s next question wasn’t entirely unexpected, even as his specific angle was a shock. “Are you and Aunt Claudia going to have one, too?”
The question was spoken with all the innocence of a child, yet freighted with the weight of a lifetime.
“Oh. Well. I don’t know, buddy. We haven’t talked about that yet.”
“You should, you know. Kids have to have other kids to play with. We don’t want the baby to get bored. I keep telling my mom and dad they need to have another one.”
“I suppose that is something.”
As reasons went, creating playmates wasn’t quite enough rationale to sign up for a lifetime of parenthood, but it made a lot of sense in the realm of kid logic.
It was the bigger question, though, that dogged Hawk as he followed Cody into the house to the promised pancakes.
Did he want a lifetime of parenthood with Claudia at his side?
He thought about the large manila envelope tucked away even now in his car. He’d had the results of her DNA test sent over to the B&B and he’d swung by and picked them up yesterday, along with the rest of his things.
Those unopened results detailed her parentage, but they were no predictor of the sort of mother she’d be. Not that he needed a piece of paper for that.
She’d be an amazing mother.
What he hadn’t given much thought to was the sort of father he’d be.
Children had always been an in-the-future conversation for him and Jennifer. They were agreed on having children, but had wanted to build their life together first.
How bitterly he’d regretted that after losing her. Then, when that grief had passed, he’d come to think of it as a gift. One less motherless child in the world was a good thing. And since he was barely able to care for himself, he had no idea how he’d have cared for a small child totally dependent on him.
All of it meant that he’d spent the last several years convinced fatherhood wasn’t in the cards for him.
So how had that turned completely on its ear with the questions of one small boy?
He hovered at the entry to the kitchen and took in the scene before him. Mac sat beside Thorne, the two of them talking quietly with their heads bent.
Father and son.
Knox stood behind Cody and helped him flip pancakes with a large spatula.
Father and son.
His own r
elationship with his parents had always been good, albeit strained over the past several years as he’d checked out of life. But he did have a good, solid relationship with Tom Huntley.
Father and son.
Was it really so simple to believe the same joy and satisfaction could belong to him?
The thought kept him company all the way through his pancakes, and on into the house’s other spare bedroom to get ready. He’d been willing to leave the men to their prewedding ritual, but Thorne had been insistent on having him share the space as he got ready with his groomsmen.
“The odds really are sort of wild when you think about it. Mom goes on the lam and we all end up hitched. Allison and I reconnect and end up together. Joshua and Leonor. Now you and Maggie.” Knox slapped Thorne on the back before turning his attention toward Hawk, his finger cocked in a shooting motion. “Don’t think we’re going to let you play fast and loose for long, Huntley.”
“I think your sister has something to say about that.”
“I suppose she does,” Knox agreed.
The photographer picked that moment to interrupt, taking a few candids before waving them out of the room and toward the area set up for pictures in the living room. The men began to file out, the conversation about weddings already forgotten when River came up beside him. “Knox can rib all he wants. It’s not like hitching up to this family is easy.”
The somber tone stopped him, but it was the bleak emptiness in River’s eye that had Hawk reassessing his initial impressions of the man.
River Colton was suffering. Yes, he’d had outward pain in the loss of his eye, but best Hawk could tell it had nothing on what the man was dealing with inside.
“No, your family’s not easy. But your sister’s worth it.”
“That she is.”
Hawk clapped the man on the back as they headed for the festivities in the living room. “Best I can tell, all of you are.”
