“Hey,” she said.
“Hey.”
“Thank you.”
“Just doing what I do best.”
She opened her mouth, still staring at his chest.
“You don’t have to say anything.” Zain would rather silence to words spoken under duress. Danger—life flashing before your eyes level of stuff—often had people rethinking things.
“Will you stay here? With us, I mean. Okay, really, I mean me. Crystal, I’m sure she’ll appreciate you being here, but really...I just don’t want you to go anywhere and tonight...I mean...”
He reached for her, wrapping his arms around her waist and shoulders, stepping in close. She buried her face against his shoulder, her breath shaking her body, her hands fisting the material of his shirt under his jacket.
“I’m here for as long as you need me.” And when she didn’t, when he’d served his purpose, he’d go. Like he was meant to.
19.
The sun was coming up and Andrea’s eyelids were getting heavy, yet she still couldn’t let herself close them. Every time she did, she saw Kevin’s face.
Zain sat on the love seat a few feet away, but it felt like a greater distance was being wedged between them. She was the one who usually pulled away. Now she was on the receiving end. She didn’t like it
“Oh—it’s dad. Mind if I pause this?” Crystal asked.
“No, go ahead,” Zain said. He’d somehow managed to avoid being covered in cats, unlike Andrea.
It wasn’t that she didn’t like them. She did. They just shed and left her covered in a fur coat she couldn’t take off. She stared down at a black cat named January who was particularly fond of her. His big, amber eyes were partially closed.
Okay, so she could see having one cat. Like January. But she wasn’t going to be a crazy cat lady like Crystal.
“Hey, dad.” Crystal got up, hauling a cat off with her into the big living room.
Zain turned, his gaze warm. Familiar. Welcome.
“How you doin’?” he asked with just the right about of inflection.
She laughed, probably because she was exhausted and wound too tight.
“Thinking about sleeping yet?” he asked.
They’d made it through two and a half episodes of Firefly. Her body screamed at her to sleep, but if she did...
“I don’t know. Maybe?” She drew her knees up and resituated January the cat. “What’s going to happen next?”
“Depends.”
“On?”
“If they decide to charge Cliff or now.”
“Cliff?” She frowned. “I still don’t see how he could be involved.”
“Cliff? What?” Crystal strolled back in, a different cat under her arm now.
“Kevin stated for the record that Cliff was involved.” The frown lines around Zain’s mouth deepened. “The house you were at belongs to one of Cliff’s cousins. Kevin made repeated phone calls to a phone purchased by Cliff.”
“That doesn’t make sense. Cliff’s been a big supporter. I know he donated money to my cat charity. He’s weird, but a good guy.” Crystal settled cross legged on the floor and was almost immediately mobbed by more of her furbabies.
“I know,” Zain said slowly. “Andrea said as much, and I believe her. But...the evidence is stacked against him.”
“What’s going to happen?” Andrea asked again.
“I don’t know.” He pursed his lips and stared at the floor for a moment. “It makes sense that they’ll get a warrant for Cliff’s arrest. He’s got money. He can get a good lawyer and hopefully get out on bail. In the meantime...I’ll look for the real person behind it all.”
“And we still don’t know what files Kevin wanted,” Crystal said, eyes on Andrea.
“I told you—I have no idea what he was talking about.” There was a small, tiny chance she might have some piece of whatever files she’d copied back in the day on a drive. Somewhere. But it was unlikely they were something worth killing over.
“I believe you.” Crystal held her hands up. “It just makes me wonder what is out there, you know?”
“Yeah.”
“None of this adds up.” Crystal sighed and scratched a cat with each hand. “I’m getting tired, finally. I probably won’t sleep, but I think I’m going to try. You two staying here?”
Andrea darted a glance at Zain, only to find him watching her.
“Yeah, what do you say?” he asked her.
“Sure.”
“Okay.” Crystal pushed up to her feet. “You know your way around. You can play hostess.”
Andrea gulped, hiding her anxiety behind Crystal. Literally. Andrea gave her a quick squeeze and moments later, she was alone. With Zain.
“You sure you want to stay?” She slid her hands into the hoodie pocket and rocked back on her heels.
“Do you want me to leave?” he asked.
“No. Not really.”
“Not really?”
“No, I don’t want you to go.” Heat crawled up her neck. She’d never needed someone like this in her life. She didn’t quite know what to do. Her instincts said to hide until he went away—but then he’d be gone. The thought of never seeing Zain again brought on a pang of sadness so deep her stomach churned.
“I’ll stay.”
“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to though.” I’m just crazy about you and it terrifies me to be alone without you. No pressure though.
Zain stood crossed the distance between them in one stride. It no longer felt like he was towering over her. She...liked being in his shadow. The sense of safety that blanketed her whenever he was near.
“What do you want?” he asked.
She opened and closed her mouth.
What she wanted...she couldn’t say that.
“Andrea?” He pushed her hair behind her ear. It was a frizzy, hot mess since she’d let it air dry after her shower.
“Hm?” She couldn’t make real words. Just sounds.
He pushed his hand through the hair at the back of her head, his fingers curling into the strands, and bent his neck, pressing their foreheads together. His eyes were closed and he exhaled, as if he’d been holding his breath for ages. She placed her hands on his waist, wanting to hug him, but she didn’t have the courage to.
Their noses bumped. A cat twined around their legs. This close, she could see the tiniest scars and the painfully deep one on his cheekbone. She couldn’t imagine how much that’d hurt.
“I’m glad you’re okay.” His eyes opened, just little slits, but he saw her.
“Me, too.” Parts of her hurt, but she’d heal. And if she’d learned anything being around Zain, it was that scars didn’t matter. They didn’t hold you back.
He released the hold on her hair and stroked his hand over her jaw. She leaned into the touch, comforted by his nearness.
“What do you want?” he asked again, his voice softer, more tender.
“I don’t want to be alone,” she whispered and stared at his chest. “I want you to stay with me, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to. I just want...” You...
“You aren’t alone.” Zain kissed her forehead.
God, she had it bad for him. Moments like these, and when he served them ice cream and got her a blanket and was just...nice...were why. The badass super hero act was great and all, but it was him. His quiet intensity. The way he got her way of thinking without having to ask what the hell she was talking about. He didn’t even argue with her when she did the exact opposite of what he wanted her to do. He stood beside her.
“I was a jealous bitch at the con, wasn’t I?”
He blinked at her.
“That’s random, I know, I was just thinking...I was awful.”
“I’m not sure what you’re referring to...” he said slowly.
“The night of the party. I drank way too much and, yeah. I’m sorry.” She’d known even then that she was falling for him and she’d done her best brat routine.
“I don’t know what you
’re talking about.” He hooked his fingers in her belt loops and pulled her forward, an easy smile on his face.
Liar.
“Oh come on, I was sloppy drunk and a jealous bitch.” She poked his chest. Lot of good it did her. She’d never met a tech geek with his body before.
“Maybe you were a little jealous, but I didn’t mind it.”
She glared at him. Seriously?
“Really,” he said.
“You expect me to believe that?”
“Remember, I was the one who recognized you. And didn’t I already tell you I was attracted to you before I even met you? I wasn’t sure I was reading you right until then.” He seemed far too pleased with himself. “You sure you’re okay with a dirty old man from the Internet keeping you company?”
“Please. You are not old. How old are you?”
“Thirty-eight.”
“Wait, what?” There was really almost ten years difference between them? It didn’t seem that way. She smacked his shoulder and grinned. “Oh my God, you are so old.”
“Careful, you might break me.”
“Yeah right.”
She slid her arms around his neck and he bent his head, brushing his lips across hers. His hand slid from her waist down to her bottom and squeezed.
Yes, please.
“Show me where we’re staying.” He let go of her and crossed to the door where he’d dumped their bags earlier.
She tried to help, but Zain refused to let her. It was annoying, and nice. She led the way up the kitchen stairs to the second floor. Most of the time when she stayed over, she slept in Crystal’s room, but every now and then she stayed in the gurple room, named for its combination of purple and gray decor.
“I lovingly kicked all the cats out earlier.” She opened the door and held it for Zain, running interference with the cats.
Zain deposited their things onto the window seat. She didn’t doubt everything would be covered in fur, or that she might have missed a cat or two, but they also wouldn’t have two or five fur balls hacked up on them in the middle of the night—er—day—this way either.
The air felt...heavy...with an expectation she couldn’t name. She wanted Zain bad enough to keep him, and yet how did she tell him that? Was there a way without scaring him off?
“Hey.” He stepped into her line of sight, filling her vision. “What’s wrong?”
“Sorry.” She shook her head.
“It’s okay to be scared or angry or upset, you know?”
She nodded. That wasn’t where her head was. At least it hadn’t been.
“I was so scared when I heard you scream. I thought we were too late.” The stoic mask broke, his brow creased and the corners of his mouth turned down.
“I’m okay. You were there. I kept thinking about you the whole time. I knew you’d be there.”
His gaze wasn’t so certain. She remembered the fear, those moments when her faith in him had slipped, when Kevin’s hands were around her neck and the world was fading to black—but Zain had been there. He’d saved her. He was every bit the superhero she’d needed, except he was just a man.
“I’m so proud of you. I wouldn’t have thought to use that phone. And where did you learn Morse code?”
“It was for this bit in a game. We programmed some things into the sound bed in Morse and I had to help do the translation. It just sort of stuck. Like binary.”
“Seriously, that was brilliant.”
Andrea ducked her head, more than a little proud of herself for pulling that off. He nudged her chin with his knuckles, urging her to look at him. His stubble was growing into a nice scruff after a day or two of missed shaving. She liked the way it framed his mouth, but it was his eyes that drew him in. The intense way he stared at her, as though she were the most important thing in the world.
He leaned in slowly, as though she might bolt. The moment stretched on. She held her breath, waiting to feel his lips against hers. He set his mouth to hers in a gentle press. A sweet kiss. She leaned into him, giving into the need to touch and taste. The muscles under her palms bunched and moved.
She pushed her hands up under his shirt, splaying them against his back, stroking his skin. His kiss turned harder, his tongue licking the seam of her lips. He suckled her bottom lip, gently biting it. She gasped and dug her nails into his back, his muscles flexing under her touch.
Andrea wanted his shirt gone. She wanted to touch him. To feel his warmth. She pushed the fabric up. He hooked his left hand into the hem and drew it up over his head and off.
She flattened her hands against his chest. They drew men who looked like him. She’d never thought muscles were all that sexy in real life until Zain. He was real. Scarred. Whole.
And she loved him.
The thought resonated inside of her, the scary reality of it immobilizing her for a moment.
She loved him.
When the hell had that happened?
Andrea wanted to run, wanted to hide under the bed or in a closet, but that would mean not being near Zain. And she couldn’t see that as an option. Either she had to stop loving him or get over this new need for him. She didn’t like those choices.
He pulled her up against his chest, swooping down for a hot kiss, his tongue thrusting into her mouth. He tugged her hoodie off, taking her tank top with it. Since she and Crystal had vastly different bra sizes and Andrea’s was pretty much disgusting, she hadn’t bothered to put one on after her shower. She fought the urge to cover herself and kept her arms down by her sides.
“What’s wrong?” Zain asked. “Do you want me to stop?”
She had no doubt he would stop—and then she’d die. Or want to die.
Andrea shook her head. She couldn’t speak without fear of what would come out of her mouth.
He cupped her breast, his thumb swiping back and forth over her nipple. She groaned and leaned into the caress, her clit throbbing with each pass.
“Andrea?”
“Please don’t stop?”
“What’s wrong? You can tell me.” He edged closer until her bare breast brushed his chest.
She had to tell him something. The truth was totally out and saying nothing would only make him press for more answers.
“I don’t want you to go,” she blurted. Someday soon, she knew he’d have to. His life and job were half-way across the country. The idea of him being so far away ripped her into pieces.
“I’m not going anywhere.” He hooked his left hand into the waistband of her sweatpants.
She lifted her chin and he kissed her, choosing to interpret his statement how she wished. For now, she’d wrap herself in the lie that he’d be there. Always. That this wasn’t going to break her heart when he finally had to leave. Right now, she wanted him worse than she’d ever wanted anything. Even making D7, and that’d been her goal since she’d begun playing video games.
Zain rubbed his fingers over her nipple and she arched her back. She grasped the belt and released the catch. His jeans sagged a few glorious inches, those deep, muscular trenches at his hips and the dark patch of hair all pointing at the button on his jeans. She tabbed his jeans open despite the way her hands shook.
Telling him she loved him was out of the question—but she could show him. She could love him with her body and heart. The words though, those she’d whisper only in her mind.
Zain walked her back until her calves hit the bed. She sat down, her gaze zeroing in on the bulge in front of her, the way his erection tented his boxer briefs. He tugged at the waistband of her sweatpants. She scooted back and he pulled both her underwear and pants off in one go, leaving her naked, save for the bandages still on her arms.
He sank onto his knees.
Oh God, she didn’t know if she could handle that. The last time he’d gone there, he’d nearly broken her.
Before she could get words out his lips wrapped around her clit. Her ability to speak was reduced to whimpering gibberish. He thrust one and then two fingers inside of her.
“Zain.” It took her a good thirty seconds to get his full name out, stretching every letter out.
Her muscles went to goo, all liquid and warm. She arched her back and flexed her hips, moving with him. Each flick of his tongue and press of his fingers stroked her desire higher. He did things to her, inside and outside her body, that weren’t natural. It shouldn’t be possible to feel this way for a man she’d just met—but she did. And the way he made her feel about herself...was new.
She shoved her fingers into his hair and pulled.
Much more of that and she’d come.
He kissed her hip, her stomach, the place between her breasts and all the way up her throat.
“Touch me?” he whispered to her.
Was that seriously a request? Shouldn’t she be asking if she could touch him?
She started at his shoulders, running her palms down his chest.
“Andrea.” He said her name with need.
No one had ever needed her before. Not like this. It was...savage.
She pushed her hand past the elastic waistband until her fingers met hot, hard flesh. She kept going until she could cup his balls, rubbing her palm over his sac. His eyes closed, his short, dark lashes standing out against his skin. She stroked her hand up, wrapping her hand around his cock. Slowly, she pumped his flesh, all the way to the tip and back. He rocked into her hold and dropped his forehead to hers.
Andrea swallowed.
The depth to her want scared her.
Zain was important to her in a way no one ever had been.
“Zain?” Her voice broke saying his name this time.
“Oh. Yeah?”
The words stuck in her throat.
“What is it?” He kissed her cheek then her lips.
“I want you inside of me,” she whispered.
“Me, too.” He pulled back slowly and she let him go.
Zain stood and placed his palm against his groin, one side of his mouth hiked up while his gaze traveled over her body. The urge to cover herself was gone.
He crossed to their bags and spent a moment digging around. He muttered a curse and started tossing stuff out of his bag, one thing after another, and then handfuls at a time.
She got up, chuckling, and joined him.
Dangerous Games (Aegis Group, #3) Page 21
