by Tricia Goyer
“It makes sense.” Grace turned on the warm water for the dishes. “Hope is the gardener. Maybe Elizabeth heard about the garden and told Janet about it.”
Hope nodded, and she looked over to where Lovina was sitting. Her oldest sister looked weary. It was from the busy days at the pie shop, yes, but from Lovina’s slumped shoulders she guessed it was something else too.
When the dinner dishes were done and put away Hope approached her sister. “Is this a good time to talk?”
Lovina glanced up from The Budget newspaper she had on her lap. In the fifteen minutes while Hope had been doing dishes she hadn’t turned one page.
“Ja, please. Let’s go sit in the backyard.”
Hope followed her sister to the backyard and sat next to her on the swing. Was it just a few weeks ago that Jonas and Emma had sat on this swing and they’d started to get to know one another? That didn’t seem possible. They’d already captured a small part of her heart.
Lovina had barely sat onto the swing when the words poured out of her mouth. “Okay, I just have to tell you… it wasn’t my idea to put a garden in the back of the pie shop. I just wanted you to believe it was.”
Hope’s mouth fell open. Her mind raced, trying to make sense of her sister’s words. Who else would be interested in starting a garden? Who else would be able to advise Lovina on such matters. Noah? Mem? Dat? But why? Had someone else—like Elizabeth—guessed that she had thoughts of leaving? Did they think a garden would cause her to stay?
Even after her confession, Lovina stayed on the swing. Her back was slumped, and she stared at the grass under her feet.
“Well, are you going to tell me whose idea it was?”
Lovina sighed. “It was Jonas Sutter’s idea. He came to me about three weeks ago. He said he’d been thinking about the students here in Pinecraft. He’d been talking to his sister and brother-in-law and they felt bad that the children here missed so much because they didn’t grow up on a farm. Jonas liked the idea of a garden, but he told me he’d be leaving in May. He said he could help as needed, but with his job and caring for Emma he couldn’t oversee the whole thing. He asked if I knew anyone who’d be interested. Of course I thought of you.”
Hope tried to wrap her mind around her sister’s words. “So when Jonas talked to you, did he mention me?”
“Ne. He’d just been here a few days when he asked. I don’t think he had any idea about how much you loved gardening.”
“Okay, but why didn’t you tell me from the beginning it was his idea? Why did you make it seem like it was yours?” The pieces of the puzzle clicked together in Hope’s mind. It started to make sense. “Wait.” Hope held up a hand. “If you’d told me it had been Jonas’s idea—”
“You would have refused,” Lovina said. “The reason you love gardening is because it gives you time alone. It gives you peace. And… ” She let her voice trail off.
“And that’s not what Jonas had in mind, was it?”
Lovina shook her head. “Ne. He had other plans… getting more people involved.”
Hope placed a hand on her hip. She pushed the swing so that it started to rock. “And when were you going to tell me that Jonas wanted to have the schoolchildren involved in the garden?”
Lovina shrugged. “It would have come up sooner or later.”
“Well, it has. Jonas asked me about it today. He seemed eager for them to get started ‘helping me.’ ”
“Really, ach. What did you tell him?”
“I told him I’d talk to you, since it was your garden.”
“Did he believe you? Or did he realize you were just trying to stall?”
“Trying to stall, of course. And he knew that.”
Lovina lifted her face to the fading sunlight. “I have no problem with children being back there… you’re the one with the problem. Or rather… you’re the one who has her own ideas of how to use the garden. And I’m not going to stand against that. I’ve given the garden to you, Hope. It’s a gift. You can use it as you’d like.”
Hope lifted her hands in frustration. Then she placed both hands on the side of her face. “But you set me up for this. Now, if I say no I’m going to seem like the heartless one.” She released a breath and lowered her hands.
“It’s just a few children.” Lovina sighed, as if wearied from the conversation. Her eyes looked puffy, and Hope wondered if she’d been up late trying to figure out how to tell Hope the truth.
“I’m sure it wouldn’t be more than an hour a few times a week,” Lovina continued. “And then you can have the garden to yourself the rest of the time. If I had a child and lived in Pinecraft I would appreciate it.”
Hope jutted out her chin. “Oh, you would? And I’m sure those parents would also love for their children to learn to make thirty different types of pies. How would you like it if they took over your kitchen in the pie shop?”
“That’s different. Every home has a kitchen where a mem can teach her daughters to bake pies, but not every home in Pinecraft has a garden—most don’t.”
Hope continued her swinging, more violently than the porch swing was designed for.
“Hey, hey.” Lovina waved her hands. “Can you let me off this ride?”
Hope stopped the rocking.
Lovina stood. “Listen, I’m sorry. I handled things the wrong way. If you’d like I can go to Jonas and tell him that I put you in a bad spot. We can even put up signs if you’d like, and a gate, stating that it’s a private garden. I would do it if I knew it would help. If I knew it would make you… ” Lovina’s words trailed off.
Hope continued the motion of the swing, softer this time. An emptiness echoed in her chest and she wondered how long it had been there, and if a move would really make it go away. “If it would make me what?” she asked.
Lovina peered down at Hope. The moonlight colored her face a pale shade of gray. Her eyes were as large and round as the moon above. Sadness filled her sister’s gaze.
“If it would make you stay,” Lovina finally said.
Hope reached up and placed a hand over her heart and the growing pain that pinched and tugged.
“I’m not sure if anything can. Pinecraft is a nice place, but it’s just not where I plan on spending the rest of my life. I’m going to leave sometime, Lovina. I just don’t know when.”
“Ja. I understand. I just don’t like the thought of that. We’ve been together our whole lives.”
Hope released a long sigh, and then she patted the seat beside her. “Come, sit. I promise not to rock too hard this time.” She wanted her sister close. She wanted all her sisters close, but they had to understand she didn’t fit in in a place like Pinecraft.
Lovina sat. “And I promise to be more truthful from the beginning.”
Hope pushed her feet against the ground, rocking them slower this time.
“When did you tell Jonas you’d give him an answer?” Lovina asked.
“Soon.”
“What are you going to say?”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
From somewhere down the street laughter erupted, and Hope guessed it was a group of teens leaving the volleyball game. She liked the sound, but her heart ached for the sound of crickets and pond frogs.
“I know I said it before, but now I mean it. The garden is yours, Hope. You can do with it as you will.”
“Danke. It means a lot.”
She looked up at the stars, wondering what God had planned for her. She’d planned on leaving, and God had given her a garden here. She wanted to be alone, and He’d given her Jonas and Emma. He’d given her a new friendship with Elizabeth. And He’d put a journal in her hands. She didn’t know what it all meant, but she did know that she couldn’t leave yet. Even if Eleanor did write back with a job for her, there was too much around here that she needed to figure out first. If only she could do it without hurting those she cared for in the process. And if only she could have a bit of the peace and quiet in her garden—peace that she craved.
Pea-Pod Soup
Pods from 2 quarts peas
1 onion, diced
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. pepper
1 tsp. sugar
Dash nutmeg
2 cups milk
3 Tbsp butter
3 Tbsp flour
Wash pea pods and cut into pieces, cover with water and boil with the onion for 1 hour. Puree mixture, add seasonings, sugar, nutmeg and hot milk. Heat to boiling and thicken with butter and flour mixture. Serves 4.*
* Ruth Berolzheimer, 250 Delicious Soups (Consolidated Book Publishers, Inc., 1940), 29.
Chapter Fifteen
The right to do something doesn’t always make it the right thing to do.
AMISH PROVERB
The aroma of coffee filled the morning air. Hope laid out her garden stakes on the kitchen table. With a permanent marker she wrote out the vegetables’ names to match the seed packets: turnips, potatoes, peas, kale, celery, cauliflower, carrots, cabbage, broccoli, beets. She smiled when she read the last one. One of the very first things that Emma had told her about Jonas was that her father didn’t like beets. Little did Hope know when she saw that messy girl with an ice cream cone that Emma would become an important part of her life. But just how important? Hope was still trying to decide. She also wondered when she’d see them again and hoped it would be soon. She couldn’t help but smile when thinking about them, especially Jonas.
Hope had always just assumed that she’d marry a bachelor. It seemed strange to think of dating a man who already had a beard. A man who’d already been married before. She finished her garden stakes and poured herself a cup of coffee. She’d wanted to get out to the garden early, but when she heard her mem getting ready for the day she considered asking her for advice. She needed someone to talk to. She needed to make sense of her thoughts, her heart.
She poured Mem a cup of coffee and buttered two slices of toast.
Mem exited from the bathroom, and when she entered the kitchen her face brightened. “Oh, breakfast with one of my favorite daughters. What a wonderful surprise. Is that for me?” She pointed to the coffee and toast.
“Ja, of course.”
Mem sat. “So what do you want to talk about?”
“How do you know that I want to talk?”
“Ever since you were a child you’ve always gotten up early and waited for me when you wanted to talk. The other girls can spill their hearts among the noise and commotion, but not you.”
“Well, ja, you do know me.” Hope sucked in a deep breath and then released it slowly. “Mem, what do you know about Jonas Sutter?”
“He seems like a nice enough man, but my opinion is that he needs to get himself a wife to help him care for that little girl. I’ve heard of a few times that she’s gotten into trouble around Pinecraft, not counting the time she flipped over that canoe. Now we know why God assigned two parents to children—some of them need two sets of eyes on them.” Mem sighed. “I’m just sorry that it’s come to this. Jonas should have made sure that Emma had a mother before now. It’s the right thing to do… I mean after what happened.”
Hope put the lid on the marker and stacked her garden stakes into a pile. “But it’s not Jonas’s fault that his wife died. Maybe he’s just waiting for time to heal his heart. Maybe he’s trying to find love again.”
“Ja, but surely there is a nice woman his age who lost her husband. Do you know anyone, Hope? I do remember that you had a friend in Walnut Creek who lost her husband in a buggy and car accident.”
Hope sat silent. She knew who Mem was speaking of, but that friend had three very active boys. Joining a family like that would be hard on Emma.
With Hope’s silence Mem paused and looked at Hope. “Why are you asking?” Mem asked.
“Oh, I was just wondering.”
Mem pushed her glasses up on her nose and leaned forward, peering deep into Hope’s eyes. “You’re not smart on Jonas Sutter, are you?”
“I wouldn’t say that.” Hope nibbled at her lower lip. “But I do like many of his qualities. I’d like to find someone like him—a bachelor like him to marry,” she added for her mem’s benefit… even though she wasn’t convinced of that herself.
Mem picked up her toast and took a bite. She nodded and held her gaze. “Ja, I see.”
Hope packed up all of her things in her gardening bucket, not sure if her mother’s answer helped or hurt. Did that mean Mem liked him? Or did she have concerns? Mem nibbled on her toast again but remained silent, which was very unlike her. Maybe she’d learned from trying to persuade Lovina not to get involved with Noah Yoder at first.
“I suppose I’ll just have to keep looking,” Hope finally said. And watching Jonas, getting to know him better, too, she added to herself. Hope rose and placed her garden stakes into her bucket, eager to get to the garden spot. Eager to see what the day held.
Jonas would be a good husband to a widow, she thought as she offered her mem a quick wave goodbye. He’d be a good husband to anyone. She sighed thinking about that. Ja, if she could marry anyone, it would be someone just like Jonas Sutter.
On the walk to the garden, Hope steered clear of the people and the workers setting up for the Haiti Auction. She’d gone to the auction last year, and while she enjoyed the food and seeing all the items up for auction, she didn’t like the crowds. The Haiti Auction was held in three giant tents where they offered quilts, tools, tractors, tiny houses for Haiti, Amish-made furniture, and more. The many food stations offered homemade glazed donuts, pretzel dogs, Brazilian chicken, fried fish, blooming onions, and other wonderful food. Each of these stations was manned by the Amish from out of state, joined by Mennonite volunteer helpers who lived in Pinecraft year-round. Her guess was that by the time the auction started later that day she’d be able to hear the auctioneers over the loudspeakers. Hope was thankful that she had her quiet garden to retreat to until then.
She’d just settled down to start planting lettuce when she heard a voice call to her from the side of the building.
“There you are. I was hoping I’d find you around here.”
Hope struggled for something to say as an older man rounded the corner. He pulled off his hat with a smile and ran his fingers through his flyaway gray hair.
“I’ve been here for a little while,” Hope said. “There’s nothing quite like fresh dew on a morning garden.”
“I heard that you were the young lady behind the garden. I came by and was poking around yesterday. Your sister Lovina said that you like to garden early in the morning. I know that’s how people like to do it up in Ohio where you’re from, but around Pinecraft there are very few people out and around at 6:00 a.m.”
“It’s a habit, I guess.” She raked her hand through the dirt, making sure to break up the clumps. Then, with the edge of the trowel, she made a long line in the dirt and tried to pretend she didn’t have an audience.
It didn’t work. He ambled closer, and his gray eyes appeared amused. “You’re going to have quite the garden here, once you get everything growing.”
She opened the seed packet and sprinkled the seeds in her hand.
“What are you planting?” the man asked.
“Arugula.”
“Oh, I just love homegrown lettuce. It’s so much better than the store-bought stuff. They have to grow that lettuce so it’s tough enough to handle being transported and shelved for weeks.”
She forced a smile. “Ja, homegrown lettuce is better.”
“I’ve lived here for five years, and I’ve never seen a garden like this,” he said, looking around. “You know that the city council came to us a while back and asked us if we wanted a community garden here in Pinecraft. I liked the idea, but since most of the folks only come during the winter months it’s a lot of work for the few who stay here year-round. I’m glad to see that someone’s committed to this. I’m glad someone’s planning to stick around.”
Guilt plagued Hope at his words. People assumed that because she was
planting this garden that she was staying. Of course that only made sense. Who planted and did all the work without waiting for the harvest? Not that many people she supposed.
“A garden is a big commitment,” she finally said. And as she planted the lettuce seeds in the ground she wondered if she was sinking her roots in this place one seed at a time, whether she intended to or not.
Hope saw Jonas and Emma briefly at the church service, and by Monday afternoon she kept wondering if they would come by after school. She still hadn’t given Jonas an answer about the schoolchildren. Maybe she was just hesitating. If she told him she didn’t want the children to help out would she lose him and Emma, too?
Over the weekend, while everyone else was attending the Haiti Auction, Hope planted beets, radishes, and potatoes. And as the morning slipped away and afternoon came, she found herself with senses peaked, watching for footsteps or voices, but no one came. Had Jonas given up on her?
When she was certain that school was out, Hope went into the pie shop to check the time. It was four o’clock. If Jonas and Emma didn’t come in the next thirty minutes they never would.
Then, as she was making her way back to the garden, Hope saw her. Emma was walking down the street holding Ruth Ann’s hand.
Hope paused in front of Me, Myself, and Pie. Disappointment tugged at her lips. Where was Jonas? She pushed them up into a smile.
“Hope!” Emma called. Ruth Ann released the young girl’s hand and she raced up the road toward Hope. Hope bent down and opened her arms. Ten seconds later Emma jumped into her embrace. Warmth spread through her.
“I told Aenti Ruth Ann that I need to come—needed to be your helper.”
Hope gave Emma one more squeeze, and then she straightened up. “Ja, I was hoping you would come by.”
Ruth Ann approached. She looked down at Emma and then eyed Hope. “Is it okay if she stays a while? She has been talking about the garden ever since she got home from school. Jonas stayed over to help one of his students with his math.”
