by Lynsey James
‘Sunflower Cottage isn’t some grotty little hovel, actually. It’s a lovely place and the community really loves it here. I do too, and I think when your bosses see that you’re planning to rip down a valued community hub they’ll pull the plug on the whole thing. So why don’t you save them a lot of hassle and cancel it yourself?’
There was a silence and I could practically hear the cogs in Paul’s head turning.
‘Think of all that bad PR,’ I crooned. ‘The big bosses really wouldn’t be happy with you, especially if they knew you didn’t listen to good advice about it.’
I imagined Paul sitting in his office, sweat dripping down his face and wondering which way to turn. He wasn’t good at making decisions at the best of times, let alone when someone was piling the pressure on. I could sense he was about to snap, though. One more push ought to do it, I thought.
‘Imagine if the national newspapers pick up the story. We’ll look like the big, bad wolf huffing and puffing and bulldozing the B&B down. Is that really something you want to deal with? Fielding all those calls from angry residents and journalists will seriously eat into the time you spend sneaking around with Tara Murray…’
‘OK, OK! Send me over that video montage and I’ll see what I can do. You’re probably right; we’d have a hurricane of shit to mop up if we went ahead with this and I don’t fancy saying “no comment” over and over again to a bunch of journalists. I suppose we could use another one of our sites for the resort.’
I felt a weight lift out of my chest. I half wanted to throw the phone down and sing ‘Oh Happy Day’ but I remained dignified instead.
‘You’re not going to regret this, Paul, I promise. See you tomorrow.’
I said a quick goodbye then hung up.
‘Yes, yes, yes!’ I picked Dixie up and hugged her. ‘We did it, Dixie! We saved Sunflower Cottage!’
Just then, Noah appeared at the top of the stairs.
‘What are we celebrating?’ he asked, looking slightly concerned for my well-being.
‘I just talked to my boss again and he said he’ll see about using one of the other sites for the resort! Sunflower Cottage is staying right where it is!’
His jaw dropped and he pulled me in for a hug. ‘Oh my God, are you serious?!’
‘Yup! I reminded him of all the bad PR the company would get and told him I’d already sent the video montage to his bosses. He didn’t fancy dealing with the consequences so he said he’d see what he could do.’
My whole body swelled with pride. I couldn’t believe I’d managed to save Sunflower Cottage. By the look on his face, Noah couldn’t either.
‘Emily, I can’t thank you enough! You’ve no idea what you’ve done for us. Wait till we tell Rose; she’ll be over the moon!’
I felt a broad grin spread across my face. ‘It was the least I could do; it was my mistake that caused this whole mess in the first place. He’ll probably phone me in a minute telling me he’s found somewhere.’
We looked at each other, both wanting to say things we knew could never leave our mouths.
I was glad when Noah broke the uncomfortable silence. ‘Are you all packed for tomorrow?’
I nodded, gesturing to my waiting suitcases. ‘Yup, just need to stick them in the boot and I’m good to go.’
I badly wanted to tell him how much I’d miss him and how I’d never forget him, but I knew I couldn’t. There was no good muddying the waters when I was so close to leaving.
‘Well… Thanks. Thanks for everything you’ve done. I mean it; you’ve been a real asset to this place, Emily.’
He opened his arms for what ended up being a very awkward hug. Feeling his arms round me for the final time made every inch of my body ache with longing.
‘I’ll really miss…’ I stopped myself before the word ‘you’ escaped. ‘The breakfast club. It was amazing running it with you. Will you keep it going when I’m gone?’
He dug his hands into his pockets and gazed around uneasily. ‘Yeah, probably. It’s been really fun and the members really seem to enjoy it. Dolly and Marjorie would be devastated if we stopped it!’
I pictured the two old ladies and smiled. It was impossible not to when I thought of my time in Luna Bay.
‘Yeah, they wouldn’t know what to do with themselves of a Monday morning, would they? I’m sure you’ll get along just fine without me anyway; the days of exploding eggs are over!’
‘Yeah, thank goodness!’
We exchanged faint smiles before going our separate ways. I turned to look back at him, but he kept on walking. As I closed my door, I was sure I saw him steal a glance at me before disappearing downstairs.
*
Frankie was delighted to hear I’d be back in Glasgow soon.
‘Good! I’ve got so much to tell you when you’re back. I’ve made so many bad life choices, you wouldn’t believe it. Honestly, I thought you’d end up running off with that bloke you told me you couldn’t stand.’
My heart wrenched at the mention of Noah. I could hear the imaginary counter ticking down the seconds until I said goodbye to him for good and I hated every tick it made.
‘Nope, you know me: Mrs Safe and Predictable. As if I’d run off with a guy I barely know!’ I scoffed loudly and let out a fake laugh.
‘You’re doing your fake laugh again; the one you do when Paul tells one of his crappy jokes,’ said Frankie. ‘Are you sure you’re coming back? I don’t want to come into work tomorrow to find you not here.’
I hesitated before muttering ‘Yes’ and making my excuses to hang up. The thought of my imminent journey north filled me with dread. I felt like I was going back to the life I thought I deserved, rather than the one I really wanted to live.
But what could I do? I’d said my goodbyes and made my choice. I’d chosen safe and comfortable over new and dangerous. Just like my mum had.
*
The final person I had to say goodbye to was Rose. I’d deliberately left her for last because I knew saying goodbye to her would be the hardest. With Noah, I could gloss over my true emotions but Rose could see right through me.
‘Here’s the woman who saved Sunflower Cottage!’ she hollered as I made my way into the kitchen.
I found her siting there with a few of her friends, who all had broad grins on their faces. It was a little unsettling to look at.
Rose came over and enveloped me in a warm hug so tight I could hardly breathe.
‘I didn’t do much really,’ I croaked. ‘Just reminded them what a bad idea it was!’
‘Nonsense – you’ve made sure Sunflower Cottage will be staying even if I won’t be running it. That means more to me than you’ll ever know. Girls, could I have a few minutes alone with Emily, please?’
The two older ladies picked up their cups of tea and scuttled through to the living room, leaving Rose and I in the kitchen.
‘Made a lot of memories in this kitchen.’ I chuckled and gestured around me to the room I’d come to love so much. ‘Could barely boil an egg when I first came here. Now look at me!’
She nodded and looked over her teacup at me with a curious expression.
‘What?’
She shook her head. ‘Are you sure there’s no way I could persuade you to stay? You’ve seemed so happy here and things were happening with you and Noah.’
‘No,’ I replied. ‘If things were different, I’d be biting your hand off to stay, but they aren’t. I’ve got a life back in Glasgow to get back to, one I’ve worked really hard to make. I can’t just let all that go to come here for something completely different that might not work out.’
Rose put her chubby hand on top of mine. ‘Darling, I was trapped in a marriage that didn’t make me happy for far too long. I kept thinking nothing would change, that I was stuck with my lot in life. But then one day I saw that I could have a different life, one that made me excited to get out of bed every morning. You can have that too if you’re brave enough! If Luna Bay’s where you want to be, then you have
to take a leap of faith and make it happen.’
My breathing became erratic and I could feel my heart hammering against my ribcage in a bid to escape.
‘I can’t, Rose. People like me don’t take chances. We make logical decisions, we weigh up the pros and cons and we always do the right thing. I… I can’t throw away everything I’ve worked for, I just can’t! Thank you for everything and I’ll really miss you, but there’s no way I can stay.’
I ran out of the room before Rose could say anything else to convince me to stay. The plan was set: I was going back to Glasgow.
So why didn’t I feel happy about it?
Chapter 29
Saying my final goodbyes was unbelievably hard. I had to try and hold it together while Rose, Noah, Dixie, Jake, Lucy, Diane and the breakfast club members gathered to wave me off. I made it through the parade of hugs and promises to visit without crying, but as soon as I got into Cilla and backed out of Sunflower Cottage’s driveway, the tears began to fall. My heart pulled me back to the B&B, but I ignored the incessant pleas. I was doing the right thing, like I always did. In the rear-view mirror, I saw Noah staring after me. Half of me wanted him to chase down the car and make a last-ditch attempt to get me to stay.
He didn’t.
*
Glasgow was a rainy, grey smudge when I got back. The summery weather from Luna Bay hadn’t reached this far north; instead, my favourite city in the world was cloaked in grey clouds and rain puddles.
‘Ah,’ I said to the sat-nav, my only company in the car. ‘Home sweet home!’
My first port of call was my parents’ home. It felt strange walking in after the revelation that had turned my world upside down, but I didn’t feel apprehensive about seeing my mum and dad. Instead, I was looking forward to it.
‘You’re back!’ Mum’s voice was a screech as she ran into the hall to greet me. ‘Welcome home, darling!’
She threw her arms around me and I found myself in one of her boa-constrictor hugs.
‘Can’t… breathe…’ I eked out. ‘Let… go…!’
She released her vice-like grip and I took in great lungfuls of air to get my breath back.
‘Look who it is.’
I would have recognised that voice anywhere: Dad. I looked up and saw him leaning against the living room doorframe.
‘Hiya, Dad!’ Saying that word didn’t feel weird like it had when I’d first found out about Derek. Now it felt like the most natural thing in the world. Here was the man who’d been there for every great life moment; he was the very definition of the word ‘dad’.
He ruffled my hair and smiled at me. ‘How was Yorkshire? Was the journey back up OK?’
Hearing him talk about normal everyday things was music to my ears. Any anger I’d felt towards him for writing back to Diane on my behalf melted away in an instant. He’d had his reasons for it, all of which I completely understood.
‘Yorkshire was amazing, thanks. The little village I was staying in, Luna Bay, was just adorable. You’d love it there, Dad. The journey back up was OK; didn’t get too much traffic and there were no road closures.’
‘You have to sit down and tell us everything that happened,’ Mum insisted, directing me to the living room.
I could see a full tea tray filled with cakes and sandwiches waiting for me. Although I still had a lot to get my head around, I had the greatest parents in the world. Our relationship had taken a fair beating, but I was confident we’d be absolutely fine.
*
Soon, I settled back into my old routine. Work, then cocktails with Frankie, followed by more work when I got home. Every trace of the ‘me’ from Luna Bay had been wiped clean. I went back to drinking green smoothies, working too much and stressing over things that didn’t really matter. In short, my life was no different than it had been before I’d left.
Yet it was. It was different in a million tiny ways that nobody could see but me. Nobody noticed the wince I took every time I drank one of my green smoothies. Nobody caught on to the fact that I now spent most of my days gazing out of the window, my heart and mind firmly rooted in Luna Bay. And I was pretty certain nobody noticed that Noah occupied my every waking thought. The voice in the back of my mind had turned from a whisper to a scream; something had to be done because the life I was living wasn’t the one that would make me happy.
The day I decided to change things was quite an ordinary one. I was listening to Frankie’s tale of woe about an Italian waiter called Luca who was ‘an amazing shag’ but totally lacking in the commitment department. I nodded along and said ‘I understand’ in all the right places, but my mind kept pulling me back to Luna Bay. To the time Noah kissed me while I was telling him about Derek and the first time we made breakfast together. To the breakfast club members and their funny, unique traits that made me excited for Monday mornings. To Diane, who’d been so kind to me after finding out I was Derek’s daughter. To the gorgeous little place that wouldn’t let me go no matter how much I tried to stop thinking about it.
‘…Life’s just too bloody short, isn’t it? I should dump him, I think.’
I snapped my head round to her. ‘What did you say?’
‘That I should dump him?’ Frankie repeated.
‘No, no,’ I said urgently. ‘Before that.’
She frowned, looking at me like I’d just sprouted another head or something.
‘That life’s too short?’
‘Yes, it bloody well is!’ I got up from my desk and marched straight over to Paul’s office, throwing the door wide open. He was sitting in his chair with Tara on his lap.
‘Do you mind?’ Her voice dripped with venom. ‘We’re having a meeting.’
‘Is that what you’re calling it these days?’ I replied with a sweet smile. ‘Paul, I need a word.’
‘What now?’ he groaned, shoving Tara off his lap. ‘It’s not another one of your daft crusades, is it? Do you have any idea how difficult it was to find a new site for that bloody resort?’
‘You did the right thing and the bosses will likely show their gratitude in your bonus,’ I reminded him.
I waited until Tara left the room before dropping my bombshell. ‘Paul, I quit.’
His face turned white with shock. ‘You what? But you’ve only just come back! Y… you got the promotion you wanted, didn’t you?’
I nodded, feeling happiness rise throughout my whole body and making every inch of me glow. ‘Yup, but this isn’t the life I want anymore. I figured a lot of things out while I was away; namely that I don’t want to work for a man who’d happily screw over an entire community to line his own pockets. Consider this my last day, Paul. I’m leaving Walter Marshall for good.’
Leaving him open-mouthed and shell-shocked, I waltzed out of his office feeling as though I was floating on air. My next stop was my desk to pick up my stuff.
‘Where are you going?’ Frankie asked. ‘Don’t tell me Paul sacked you?!’
‘Nope, I’m leaving. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do yet, but I don’t want to work here anymore. About that Luca bloke, you deserve a hell of a lot better than someone who nicknames his penis El Diablo, which is Spanish by the way, and whose idea of a good time is showing you the numerous selfies on his Instagram account. You’re worth so much more than that, Frankie, so don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.’
I gave her a quick hug then stepped out onto the busy Glasgow street. All of a sudden, the world was laid out in front of me. I could go anywhere and do anything I wanted. I had unlimited choices and felt freer than ever.
But there was only one place in the world I wanted to go to: Luna Bay. I was preparing to go home, pack all my belongings into Cilla and take off when an approaching figure stopped me.
Noah.
What was he doing in Glasgow?! How had he found me? Those questions evaporated as soon as he reached me, thanks to the huge, lopsided grin on his face.
‘Hiya,’ he said, gazing down at me.
‘What… How…?’ Words completely failed me. I couldn’t believe he was standing in front of me. It felt like a ridiculously amazing dream.
‘Wow, I’ve managed to make Emily Reed speechless! My life is complete!’ He let out a deep, throaty chuckle. ‘I suppose you’re wondering what I’m doing here?’
I nodded, still unable to utter a sentence.
‘I was in Luna Bay, completely devastated because you left, and it hit me: I had to come up to Glasgow and find you, see if there was a chance for us. I looked up where Walter Marshall Hotels’ office was, jumped in my car and drove. I know I could’ve driven two hundred miles for you to tell me to piss off, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take. You’re everything to me, Emily, even if I haven’t always acted like it. You’ve turned my world upside down and then some, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I want to wake up next to you every morning, cook breakfast with you, make you laugh. I know you’ve got your life here and if you’re happy then I’ll leave, but if you’re feeling even a tenth of the way I do then—’
I stole the rest of his words by pulling him in for a passionate kiss. I delighted at the way our tongues danced together, at the way my skin shivered with his touch. The feeling of his lips on mine was the most perfect one I’d ever known. He wrapped his arms around me, bringing me closer to him and holding me tight.
‘So I’ll take that as a yes then?’ He grinned when our lips parted.
‘I just quit my job. I was about to come and find you, actually; I realised I don’t want the life I’m living. I want you and I want to be in Luna Bay. I’ve played it safe my whole life and I don’t want to do that anymore, Noah. I’m ready to take a chance if you are.’
He looked down at me with pure adoration in his eyes. ‘I was born ready.’
Looking for more from Luna Bay?
Turn the page for the first chapter from The Broken Hearts Book Club…
Chapter One
There are worse things you can do than spontaneously burst into song at your nana’s funeral.
