Her Perfect

by Walls, Stephie

  It got harder to hear him when he lowered his voice. There was a healthy crowd that mingled in the room around us, and classical music played overhead, but I strained to listen to every word. “Her parents mean well. They’re just a little…” He clicked his tongue and rolled his hand, trying to come up with the right word.

  “Distracted?” That was a polite way to say oblivious and neglectful.

  “Precisely. I think it goes beyond them, though. I can’t put my finger on it, and I don’t want to speculate or hint at something I can’t confirm. But Colbie’s health is suffering.” He’d seen it, too.

  A lady interrupted to say goodbye to Dr. Chalmers and tell him what a wonderful recital it had been. I stood to the side to allow him time with others. He was quite the charmer. The old ladies flirted like crazy, and I wondered if he’d ever dated any of them.

  He kissed the woman’s hand and then turned back to me. “She’s a perfectionist. Always has been.” It was as if he hadn’t stopped talking to me for five minutes. He picked right back up where he’d left off. “School. Music. Being good has never been good enough for Colbie.”

  “She has to be flawless,” we said in unison.

  “Eli, years ago, she cracked when she felt she couldn’t win her parents’ love. Now…now she’s crumbling. She’s lost weight, those circles under her eyes, her cheeks are hollow.” He shook his head and closed his eyes; I couldn’t help but think it was to stave off overwhelming emotion he felt for his pupil. “Colbie is a beautiful girl, but I don’t think she’s eating. And Lord, did you know that girl has to have new tennis shoes every other month?” He waited for me to answer.

  I hadn’t noticed new tennis shoes. I also hadn’t bothered to look at her feet when she had on shorts and a sports bra. “For what?”

  “Apparently the treads on tennis shoes are only good for about five hundred miles?”

  It didn’t surprise me. Five hundred miles was a long way on a single tread. I did the math, and it was roughly seventy-five days or less, depending on Colbie’s whims down country roads. And I imagined there had been more of that recently than I knew. “Have you mentioned any of this to her parents?”

  Maybe Dr. Chalmers could be the outside force that brought this to their attention. “I don’t see them. They pay for Colbie’s lessons online, and as you can see, they don’t attend her recitals, much less her lessons.”

  I hadn’t meant to let out a sigh so loud that a group of people turned to stare at me. I waited until they went back to their own conversations. “She’s having trouble in school, too.”

  Colbie would kill me if she found out I’d breathed a word of anything going on. This man was her confidant, and I was turning him into a conspirator.

  “Her grades?” There wasn’t a single word to describe the horror staring at me through Dr. Chalmers’s expression. “Eli, if she loses that spot at graduation, she’ll never recover.”

  I hadn’t been referring to her grades, because I’d let her get by with subpar work and still given her As. “No, not her grades. Her best friend and her little brother started dating. It cut her pretty deeply when she found out they’d lied to her for months.”

  “Jess and Caden?”

  “You know them?” That surprised me.

  He waved at someone across the room who tried to get his attention. “I’ve met Jess several times, but I haven’t seen Caden since he was small. She’s talked about both often.”

  The same man waved again, and Dr. Chalmers’s couldn’t avoid him any longer. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card. “In case you need me.” He handed me his number. “Colbie is like a granddaughter to me. Don’t hesitate to call…for anything.”

  I took the card. “Of course.”

  Again, Dr. Chalmers clapped my shoulder, and this time, he gave it a squeeze. “Colbie will be okay with you in her corner, Eli. That I’m quite certain of.” He winked and mingled his way across the room.

  I wanted nothing more than to be what she needed, although I doubted Dr. Chalmers would feel the same if he were aware of who I was in Colbie’s life. As an educator, he too knew the dos and don’ts of student relationships. I had so far overstepped the moral line that I couldn’t even see it in the sand behind me. Yet somehow, I twisted his blessing into encouragement.

  As the crowd thinned and finally dwindled, Colbie seemed to float across the room. Her dress hid her feet and the layers of fabric concealed the movement of her legs. There was no hesitation in her approach. I could get lost in her radiant smile and the glitter that lit up her eyes.

  She laid her hands on my forearms and used them for balance when she leaned close to whisper in my ear. “Thank you for coming, Eli. You’ll never know what it meant to me.” And when she pressed her lips to my jaw, I lost it.

  My guard.

  My demeanor.

  My resolve.

  It all went straight out the window and cast my soul into a fiery pit of hell, and I didn’t give a single damn.

  There, in front of the few people that remained, I captured her jaw in both my hands, threading my fingers through the back of her hair. My lips met hers with undeniable passion that left us both breathless when Colbie finally broke away.

  “Eli.” Her eyes darted around the now empty room, and then she held the back of her hand to her lips. Stunned.

  I didn’t speak. I took her hand and led her to the parking lot. Again, she searched for witnesses, and I started to wonder if she thought I’d hurt her when she got into my truck.

  “You don’t have to come with me, Colbie.”

  The confusion she felt rested at my feet. “I just don’t understand.”

  I wanted her to trust me, but I’d given her nothing to go on. “Come home with me. Let’s talk where prying eyes can’t see. I’ll bring you back to get your car.”

  She stared up through the distance between us. The innocence I loved so much hung in her eyes like stars in the sky. And as the horizon grew dusky-dark, Colbie whispered, “Okay.” She lifted onto her toes and touched my lips with hers in a soft peck.

  I helped her into passenger seat, evening dress and all. Before I closed the door, I watched as she settled her gown the way she had at the piano. Pure fucking class.

  11

  Colbie

  All it took was a glance into Eli’s eyes, and I’d follow him to the ends of the earth. He was the only person I’d ever known who could communicate more with one look than a thousand words. If eyes were the window to the soul, I’d just entered the gates of heaven with a golden key.

  I didn’t have a clue what I planned to do with him alone in his house, nor did I know what he wanted to talk to me about. But after a kiss like that—that he had initiated—there was zero possibility of me turning him down.

  He pulled himself into the truck by the steering wheel, and the muscles in his forearm flexed, popping the vein I loved. Heat pooled between my legs, and I clenched my thighs together to stave off the desire. Eli was far too cautious to allow this to get out of hand, and I needed to push those thoughts aside. Not to mention the promise I’d made to myself…that I seemed to break every time I was in the same room with this man.

  The ride to Eli’s house was relatively quiet except for the country station that played over the radio. He hummed along to most of the songs and tapped a beat on the steering wheel. I couldn’t help but giggle.

  “What are you laughing about?” A grin tickled his lips, and when he took a quick peek at me from the driver’s seat, his eyes were alight with amusement.

  I pointed to his hand steadily marking time. “You have your own little private concert going on over there.”

  He feigned hurt and slapped his hand across his chest to hold his aching heart. “What? You don’t like my singing? I’m wounded, Colbie. Wounded.”

  “Hush. You are not.” I swatted at his arm. “If you’re going to sing, make it worth listening to.” I turned up the radio, and with it came Eli’s voice.

 
As he got stronger, I added in the harmony. “I had no idea you could sing like that.”

  “That makes two of us.” But I didn’t want to stop singing to talk.

  He had this smooth tenor that felt like warm honey. I bathed in the sound of his voice and found comfort in the way our tones blended into one perfectly. It was impossible to pick the two apart. And as we sang a ballad, he slid his hand across the bench seat and on top of mine. Eli never took his eyes off the road, and he gave me a gentle squeeze when we pulled into what I had to assume was his driveway.

  I searched the area around us for onlookers, but it was fairly dark, and the streets were empty.

  He hopped out of the truck and came to my door to help me down. I imagined the two of us together on our wedding day—me in an elegant dress and Eli all dapper in a black tuxedo. I wished we were able to capture the way we looked today. The matte black dress and his white shirt and grey slacks—any woman standing next to Eli Paxton would be gorgeous. And that was exactly how he made me feel.

  Eli placed his hands on my hips and, with little effort, lifted me out of the truck to set me on the driveway. I felt weightless in his embrace.

  “You’re just a little whiff of a thing,” he joked as he closed the door behind us. He wrapped his arm around my waist, and I couldn’t stop myself from nestling into his side.

  I’d been so caught up in Eli and what went on around us that I all but missed his house. I couldn’t remember what color it was once we were inside. He released me to toss his keys onto the counter and turn on a couple of lights. In the meantime, I surrounded myself in a hug to ward off the chill he’d left in his absence. With my shoulders hunched forward, I hadn’t realized the gap I created in that position between my braless chest and the fabric of my dress. The second I saw my nipples by glancing down, I pulled my shoulders back and dropped my arms to my sides. My mother would be appalled if she’d thought I’d been indecent.

  “What’s wrong?” Eli returned to my side, clutching my bare biceps.

  “Nothing, why?”

  “You just groaned. Are you cold? You have chill bumps.” He ran his hands up and down my arms to warm me. This man couldn’t be any more perfect if I’d created him myself. Eli pulled back and assessed me from head to toe. “I didn’t think this through, Colbie. I’m sorry.”

  Disappointment encompassed my entire body, and I felt myself shrink at his dismissal. “You can take me to get my car. I understand.”

  “Huh?” Three lines appeared on his forehead and one between his brows. It would be cute if he hadn’t just told me he’d made a mistake. “No. I meant the dress. I can’t imagine it’s comfortable to hang out in, and I doubt I have anything that will come close to fitting you. You’re tiny.” He waved his arms from his chest to his legs. “And I’m not.”

  I felt foolish. These were the times my inexperience shined like a beacon. Etiquette classes and cotillion didn’t prepare a girl for a night alone with a man in his house.

  Eli stepped forward again, draping his hands loosely around the small of my back. “Don’t get shy on me. I promise, I won’t bite.” He wiggled me to elicit a smile. “At least, not tonight.” That wink did me in every time.

  I’d become a mute. I didn’t have a clue what to say or how to open up dialogue, much less relax. Eli was right, the dress wasn’t something to lounge around in, and now that he’d brought that to my attention, I was extremely uncomfortable. But when his grip tightened, pressing my hips to his, I almost choked. My cheeks flushed with heat, and I was fairly certain my panties were wet. And Eli was just as aroused.

  “I love when you blush,” he whispered as he bent down to kiss my neck.

  It was that spot just below the ear, close to my jaw. His touch was so feather-light that goose bumps erupted on my flesh. The tingle that followed might as well have been a drug. I tilted my head to give him better access as his lips moved slowly toward the dip between my clavicles. Eli’s touch was better than any food or purge or control or high from running. He was my weakness, and I craved that vulnerability.

  My head had fallen to the side when his lips disappeared from my skin. Before I popped my eyes open, he cradled my face and kissed me deeper than he had at the church. My fingers found his hair while my tongue danced with his. The need to be closer to him overwhelmed me, but there was no space between us now. Confusion teased desperation, and my mind clouded over with lust that lacked rationale.

  He slowed the kiss until I had to stop for air, and then Eli tilted his forehead to mine. His pupils surged and his nostrils flared just a hint. “I don’t want to stop. God, I don’t want to…ever. But if I don’t, you won’t have to worry about that dress not being comfortable because you won’t be in it.”

  That didn’t sound so bad to me, but I could tell it had been hard for him to resist taking me there. To that place of no return.

  “Don’t misunderstand.” His breath was warm against my face, and I couldn’t turn away if I’d tried. “At some point, every inch of you will be mine, and I’ll be damned if another man ever touches you.” Eli’s lips were soft and full against my own. He didn’t open; instead, it was sweet and reluctant, as if he were as disappointed he had to stop this—whatever this was—as I was.

  I nodded. “I’m going to hold you to that.” That was rather brazen for a girl who’d never even been kissed—me kissing him didn’t count—prior to tonight.

  “I’d expect nothing less.” His thumb stroked my cheek, and his eyes searched what he could see of my face while being this close. “But Cole, you need to understand, once you give me that gift…there’s no turning back. Ever.”

  I’d seen a lot in Eli’s eyes, but this intensity was new. Part of it frightened me, but mostly, it turned me on.

  He released me, and I instantly hated his departure. “Now, would you like a shirt? Maybe some boxers? You could probably fold them down.”

  There was no way in hell I’d refuse an opportunity to swaddle myself in Eli Paxton’s shirt and boxers. I’d stand in a blizzard with nothing else on just to share that casual intimacy with him. “Please.”

  I followed him down an unlit hall, and when we stepped into what I assumed was his bedroom, he didn’t turn on the overhead light. The lamp cast a more subtle glow that I hoped would flatter my body the way a candle would.

  Eli rummaged through the drawers in his dresser and then handed me a shirt and boxers. When he held up the boxers, he shook his head. “Those are going to swallow you whole.”

  “Hardly,” I scoffed and snatched them from him. With his stuff cradled against my chest, I gave him my back. “Would you mind undoing the zipper?” It started midback at that spot I couldn’t quite reach—I’d had to use a wire coat hanger to pull it up when I put it on—and ran the length of my spine to right below the dimples above my butt.

  He kissed my shoulder, and the zing of the zipper stung my ears. If he didn’t stop breathing on my neck, he wouldn’t have to worry about me giving him the gift he craved. I’d be on him in a skinny minute, daring him to turn me down. Eli ran a finger down my bare spine in an achingly slow fashion. And when he reached the bottom, he slid his hand into the dress and around my side. Then the other. As slowly as they had descended, they rose up my ribs until he cupped my breast and teased my nipples.

  My arms dropped to my sides, and I barely held onto the clothes he’d given. The dress hadn’t stood a chance. It pooled on the floor at my feet. And there, in Eli’s bedroom, I stood in nothing other than black-lace panties and heels.

  “Jesus. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful.” It was almost as if he talked directly to the Almighty. Just before he paid reverence to the offering.

  He was gentle in his appraisal, and instead of turning me, he circled the spot in which I stood. It didn’t occur to me to cover my chest with the clothes in my hand or with my arms. I let him look, explore, memorize, and the more he stared, the more confident I became. Eli might have put the brakes on things in the kitchen, but that
didn’t mean we couldn’t start the engine again.

  I held his gaze when I reached for the top button on his shirt, searching for any sign that he wanted me to stop. My fingers fumbled with the tiny pearlized plastic until, one by one, they all came undone, and then I tugged the tails from inside his waistband. Eli didn’t stop me from unbuckling his belt or his pants. And when I lowered his zipper, I didn’t miss the warning in his heated stare. The moment I dropped his slacks to the ground, I would be in unchartered territory, and Eli didn’t know if he could turn back once I’d crossed the line.

  He caught my wrist in his hand. “You don’t have to do this.”

  “I want to.” And I did. I couldn’t speak to how far I would take it. I was beyond thinking. I merely acted on instinct, and everything in my body told me I was safe with Eli.

  I waited for him to release me, so I knew he wanted me to continue. It wasn’t reluctance in his stare; it was fear. I was the one who should be scared.

  “What are you afraid of, Eli?” My sultry tone was foreign to my ears, as was the sound of his slacks falling to the floor.

  His chest expanded, and his Adam’s apple dipped. “That you’ll never look at me again the way you are right now.” His thumb brushed my cheek, and he searched my eyes. “That I’ll never hear you tell me you love me.” His lips swept softly over mine, more like a breeze than a kiss. “But most of all, that you’ll regret anything that happens tonight.” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “I love you, Eli.” I hadn’t planned to say it, yet he clearly needed to hear it. “The only thing I’ll ever regret is not showing you just how much.” Every word I’d uttered was pure and simple truth.

  He still hadn’t moved, and it occurred to me that he wouldn’t. I didn’t doubt that he would participate once I got it started, but Eli would not be the initiator. My fingers trembled when I lifted my hand to his chest and took a step closer. The beat of my nervous heart thumped in my ear. Had there not been evidence of his arousal, I likely would have chickened out.