by Alan Brough
ABOUT WHAT HAS BEEN
GOING ON OVER THE
LAST FEW DAYS
Chapter One
Quick Answers To Your Main Questions
1.
My name is Vivien, I am twelve, I am originally from South Korea and I am the 275th Guardian of the Emperor’s Singing Cockroaches. Over two thousand years ago, just before the Emperor died, he became aware of a plot to exterminate his beloved singing cockroaches. He called his most trusted soldier to him and made him swear that, no matter what happened, he would protect the cockroaches. That was my great-great-great-lots-more-greats-grandfather and ever since he made his vow to the Emperor each succeeding generation of my family has been protecting the cockroaches from those who wished to exterminate them.
2.
More than two thousand years ago the Exterminator’s great-great-great-lots-more-greats-grandfather swore to exterminate the singing cockroaches. No one is quite sure why. Maybe he just really hated cockroaches.
3.
The Guardians of the Emperor’s Singing Cockroaches have many weapons we can use to protect the cockroaches from extermination: the Nose Cannon is just one of them. I thought about using the Bum Bazooka but it was being repaired.
4.
The main reason I disappeared, reappeared, disappeared again and then reappeared is because it’s really great fun disappearing and reappearing. Also, it confuses the Exterminator.
5.
Don’t worry about the Exterminator. I’ll take care of him. You don’t need to know the details.
6.
No, you won’t see me again. Sorry.
77
THE HAVEN
‘I didn’t need The Lurker to help me find the insect orchestra,’ I said to Hils a few hours later as we walked into the theatre where the insect orchestra was rehearsing.
‘Yes, you did, Duncan,’ said The Lurker. ‘You would never have found it if it hadn’t been for me.’
‘I knew exactly where it was. I found it the first time.’
‘Only because you followed me, Duncan.’
‘You know what else I found?’ I said. ‘I found a big horse poo that looked exactly like you, only the horse poo was better looking and better at maths.’
‘Maintain radio silence,’ said Hils.
‘Yes, ma’am,’ said The Lurker.
‘Okay,’ I said.
No-kay, I thought.
78
THE PROMISE
Hils and I stood at the magnifying glass wall. Sister Roachetta, Pavaroachi and Colin stood in front of the insect orchestra ready to sing.
The conductor lifted her batons and the strange beautiful music rose from the stage.
‘Wow,’ said Hils.
‘Affirmative,’ I said.
The three cockroaches started to sing.
Look at us,
You’ll see us smile.
They’re smiles so
Wide and large.
We are safe,
sang Colin.
We’ve found a home,
sang Sister Roachetta.
I still need my massage.
sang Pavaroachi.
Then all three of them joined together in perfect harmony.
ALSO BY ALAN BROUGH
Charlie and the War Against the Grannies
Hi, I’m Alan Brough. I was born in New Zealand and am quite a bit older than I would like to be.
I have always loved books and, from an early age, wanted to be a writer. Then Dad and I went to see ‘Star Wars’ and I decided that, actually, I really, really, really, really, really wanted to be an actor.
So I became an actor.
After a while I realised there wasn’t that much acting work for 6’ 4” guys with slightly lopsided faces and thick curly hair so I became a director, a broadcaster, a composer, a dancer (it’s true!), a musician, a singer and then, in an unexpected turn of events, a professional music nerd.
Finally I’ve got around to being a writer.
One day I hope to be able to write a biography that includes phrases like ‘best-selling’, ‘award winner’ and ‘so successful that he recently bought a solid gold toilet’.
This is a work of fiction. Characters, institutions and organisations mentioned in this novel are either the product of the author’s imagination or, if real, used fictitiously without any intent to describe actual conduct.
First published 2017 in Pan by Pan Macmillan Australia Pty Ltd
1 Market Street, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia, 2000
Copyright © Alan Brough 2017
The moral right of the author to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted.
All rights reserved. This publication (or any part of it) may not be reproduced or transmitted, copied, stored, distributed or otherwise made available by any person or entity (including Google, Amazon or similar organisations), in any form (electronic, digital, optical, mechanical) or by any means (photocopying, recording, scanning or otherwise) without prior written permission from the publisher.
This ebook may not include illustrations and/or photographs that may have been in the print edition.
Cataloguing-in-Publication entry is available
from the National Library of Australia
http://catalogue.nla.gov.au
EPUB format: 9781760554354
Design and illustrations by Evi O
Photography by CandyBox Images/Shutterstock, Elnur/Shutterstock,
kudla/Shutterstock and Aila Images/Shutterstock
Author photo by Helen Townshend
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