It’s time to tell him, Lake. No more secrets.
“That’s actually not true,” I whisper, hoping Jules is the wolf I believe him to be. That my trust in him isn’t a mistake. Still, I can’t shake the drop of doubt, an inkling of distrust that stems from another werewolf. I hate myself for feeling that way.
Jules isn’t Slate.
His attention snaps to me. “You told someone.”
“I did.” I quicken my steps up the hill, making him take longer strides to keep up with me. “But I can’t tell you who or what was said out here. It’s too dangerous.”
Nodding, we practically soar toward his house.
Locked in his room, I gaze out the window at the towering misshaped buildings that form the city. In the far, far distance, past the noise and the busyness, the vines coil across the land, blackening the dirt below. The plants have grown so much over the course of a few days that the thorns nearly touch the magical supplies shops on the very border of the city.
Jules, who’s remained almost too quiet the rest of the trip home, takes a seat on the bed beside me. “Are you going to tell me who you told?” His voice is uneasy with control.
I lick my dry lips and sputter the confession before I can back out. “I told Legend the day we left for the city.”
He folds his fingers inward as he stares out the window. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Because I was afraid of what Legend told me.”
“Which was?”
Summoning a breath, I give him a quick recap of what Legend and I spoke of that day. When I finish, I trap my breath in my chest and wait. Wait for what, I’m not sure. For him to lecture me. For him to comfort me. For him to beg me to throw myself into the vines so his mother and any other creature who’s been cursed with the vines’ poison will be freed from their shadowy prison.
He says nothing, though, and the weight of his silence is far worse than any lecture he could give me.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” I shatter the silence at last.
“What do you want me to say?” His hollowness makes guilt squash my soul.
“I don’t know. Something … Anything … Maybe what you’re thinking,” I basically plead.
“You want to know what I’m thinking?” He finally, finally looks at me, and what I see makes me shrink back.
Undiluted heartbreak.
“I’m thinking that I know why you didn’t tell me.” Pain carves into his words. “That you thought I’d sacrifice you to heal my mother. That I’d let you die. That I don’t care about you enough not to use you as a sacrifice.”
I can’t deny his accusation unless I want to lie. And I don’t want to lie to him anymore.
“I wasn’t sure if you would, but a part of me worried that you might. And while I’ve thought about doing it myself—jumping into those vines to save this realm—so far, I’m too much of a coward.”
“You’re not a coward.” Violet light swallows up the room. “You barely know this realm. And no creature in their right mind would expect you to lay down your life to get rid of some toxic plants.”
“But they might if it meant saving the creatures they loved.”
“Not when they love the creature who would be sacrificed.” He’s said something similar to me before, but always in the heat of a passionate argument.
“Look, I don’t think you know—”
“No, you don’t know,” he cuts me off, folding his palms around my hips as he pulls me to him. Then his forehead meets mine, his panting breaths dusting my skin. “I love you, Lake. I loved you before you disappeared, and I love you now. But this love, this fucking I-can’t-breathe-when-I’m-not-around-you feeling that’s consumed my chest, it isn’t the same thing as what I felt for you before. I loved you as a friend before. I loved you as my alterum dimidium animae before. But these last couple weeks, I fell in love with you, and that love, it’s forever in my heart and soul, right there with the alterum dimidium animae. And it’s not going anywhere, so believe me when I say that I will never throw you into those damn vines, and I will never let any other creature do so. And I will beg on my fucking knees until I take my last breath if it means it can convince you not to sacrifice yourself.”
Words. I can’t find them. They don’t exist. Neither does oxygen.
Speechlessness owns me for far too long as I struggle to find the right thing to say. Ultimately, I give up and simply kiss him, only breaking for air when I’m on the verge of suffocating. Even then, I almost don’t stop.
“I’m sorry I thought that. I’m sorry for doubting you. And I won’t go into the vines,” I say breathlessly, then aim for a teasing tone. “Although, your dramatic gesture of getting down on your knees does sound appealing.”
He shakes his head, his thoroughly kissed lips quirking. “Does it now?”
I nod. “Oh, it completely does.”
He sucks a lip ring between his teeth. “If that’s what you want, then …” He stands from the bed then drops to his knees in front of me. He places his palms on my thighs, branding heat against my skin. “Please don’t sacrifice yourself, for the sake of my poor heart that you now hold in your hand.”
“Wow, I feel so powerful,” I tease, but the humor vanishes as I realize he may be right.
After all, he said he loves me. I don’t think I can say it back yet. And I’m his alterum dimidium animae, but he hasn’t been declared mine. While I care about him tremendously, his soul giving love hasn’t been reciprocated.
If you had asked me a month ago if I thought loving a werewolf could be possible, I’d have told you that you’re a raving lunatic for even asking. Now, the possibility is there, a violet flame inside my heart, waiting for the right moment to be released.
Wanting to show him that I care about him and trust him, I do the only thing I can think of. I pull him from his kneeling position and guide his lips toward mine. He doesn’t hesitate, kissing me back, letting his emotions pour through the kiss as he lies me down on the bed. Then he situates his strong body over mine, hands roving all over across my sides, my hips, my legs. But, like always, he never ventures outside of those areas.
Normally, I fear him touching me in places that are invisibly scarred. But, right now, I think I might want to explore the idea, test the waters a bit. See if my mind and body can handle it. See what it’s like for him to touch me like that, if perhaps he can heal more emotional scars.
“Jules,” I murmur between his soul-baring kisses. “I think I want to … I think you …” For the love of all blushing stupidity, just spit it out, Lake. “I think I want to try something.” Then, because I can’t get the damn words out of my mouth, I grab his hand and guide it to the top of my shorts.
Thank the wolves he figures out what I want without me having to declare it. Maybe one day I’ll be able to, but right now, I’m too restless with nervousness.
“Are you sure?” Jules asks, pulling back to look at me.
I give an unsteady nod, and then he’s undoing the button of my shorts, slipping his hand inside my panties. Slowly, he touches me, moving his fingers back and forth, not fully entering, just teasing.
“Lake, breathe,” he whispers against my lips, pausing with uncertainty.
I free a breath, and then, before I lose my nerve, I slam my lips against his, kissing him through my nerves. But when his finger slides inside me, I forget to breathe altogether as he feels me thoroughly and kisses me to the point that I veer toward shattering.
I latch on to him, fingernails tearing at his shirt. Our kisses and touches no longer feel like enough. Starved, I want to bite him. I want to scream. I want to merge my body and soul and wolf with his.
A cry rips from my chest as I writhe my hips in rhythm with his finger. When he works another finger inside me, my teeth beg to imprint his neck, plead for me to let go. I might have, too, but then he hits the right spot and I break apart completely, shattering and drifting away to the most wonderful place.
A ha
ndful of desperate breaths for air later, I blink up at Jules, who’s looking at me with wonderment.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, or more like pant.
“It’s nothing.” He smiles warmly. “It’s just that you’re so beautiful normally, but when you’re like this, you’re breathtaking.”
“Aw, and there’s those player lines.” I try for a tired smile.
“You know, I might think you were actually serious if it weren’t for the fact that you’re blushing.” He traces the star mark on my temple with his lips. “You do that all the time—blush when I compliment you.”
“I’ve never been good with compliments. Usually, whenever someone complimented me, they were either setting me up to tease me, or they had too much interest in me.”
He meets my gaze, his brows knit. “What do you mean by too much interest?”
I shrug, wishing I hadn’t brought it up. “It’s nothing. It’s just that, sometimes my foster fathers would tell me I was beautiful, but it wasn’t a good thing.”
His eyes are flickers of violet panic. “Lake, did—”
I cover his mouth with my hand. “Nothing happened like what Slate did to me. They just looked at me too long and sometimes stole touches as I was walking by them. I spent a lot of time sleeping with my bed pressed against the bedroom door.” I lower my hand to my waist.
He takes a few inhales and exhales until the violet steadily glows again. “I promise you’ll never be unsafe like that again. No one will ever touch you without permission.”
“Well, just so you know, you … you always have permission.”
He chuckles. “Yep, so adorable when you blush.” Then he leans down and kisses me again.
And I kiss him back, wishing we could stay this way forever, wrapped in magical kisses and calming peace. But, eventually, the clock chimes, announcing it’s time for me to go train with Rune. Reminding me that the safety Jules instills in me only exists when we’re together. That safety could get ripped away at any moment. And I need to be prepared.
Chapter 32
The next day, Jules and I are in the library again, going through more books, when suddenly my eyes start to water. Normally, that leads to a memory resurfacing. However, no forgotten images appear. I rub my eyes and continue reading until the words on the pages begin to blur.
Lifting my gaze from the book, I press the heels of my hands against my eyes.
“Everything okay?” Jules asks, sprawled out on the floor beside my feet with a short wall of books surrounding him.
Nodding, I lower my hands to my lap. “My eyes are just a bit watery, and it’s making my vision blurry.”
He sets the book aside and kneels in front of me. “Maybe you need a break.”
I shake my head, collecting the book off my lap. “No, I’m fine. I swear.” He meticulously observes me as I flip to the next page. “Jules, I swear I’m fine. Stop worrying.”
“It’s my job to worry about you.” But he lies back down on the floor amongst the stacks of books. “Let me know if they start bothering you again.”
“Yes, boss, sir.”
“You know what? I think you should start calling me that all the time.”
I poke him in the side with my toe, but he only laughs.
Shaking my head, I redirect my concentration back to the book.
Pages later, my stubbornness pays off when I pick up a thin journal.
My heart literally stops as I reread the page that snagged my attention.
A page written by his mother.
Jules and Liberty,
If you found this, then it means that I’m either a shadow or faded away completely. I’m hoping, if you find this, that it’s not too late. That your father hasn’t achieved his final goal.
I’m not sure if you’ll understand what I’m talking about, so let me explain.
A couple decades ago, your father started becoming obsessed with immortality. He spent every hour he possibly could searching for a way to live forever. And not just in the way that the undead can live forever. He wanted to be indestructible, where no weapon, no potion, or no creature could kill him.
After almost a decade, he found a way to make this happen. A magical seed he attained. From where, I don’t know. But he planted the seed and waited for the vines to grow.
He couldn’t do it alone. He had to get at least one creature from each realm—even the human realm—to connect with him, to want to achieve the same kind of everlasting immortality. Eventually, he found the creatures he desired, creatures who are as cruel as him, if not more so. They all planted a seed in their realm, and like your father, they waited.
The plan was that the seeds would grow into indestructible vines, and eventually, those vines would take over the land, and with that, their immorality would come to life and strengthen.
In the beginning, the vines lay dormant, along with the creatures’ desired immortality. After chasing down countless creatures and looking for answers as to why the vines wouldn’t flourish, your father found a higher mountain witch who knew the secrets of the deadly vines. She told your father that, in order for the vines to flourish, first he needed to feed the seeds. And the main food source of the vines is magical creatures.
I rub my hand against my aching chest. Oh, my wolves, I can’t believe what I’m reading. Or maybe I can. I don’t really know …
A memory sparkles in my mind, whispering that I do.
Breathing deeply, I continue reading.
The second thing that needed to happen in order for the seeds to turn into vines is that the area where the seed was planted needed to be rid of any nature energy creatures, creatures who could kill off the vines. If he got rid of these creatures in his kingdom, the vines would sprout from the seeds. The witch also told him that, if he could get the vines to grow enough to interweave with the vines in the other realms, him and the other creatures he was working with would be immortal forever. Nothing could kill them.
There was a loophole—there always is. If someone found a nature energy creature from each of the realms and bound their magic together, they could kill the vines. But this must happen before the vines from the other realms connect. Because, once they do, nothing can destroy them. And if your father and the other creatures aren’t stopped, they will feed the vines lives until nothing is left of the realms.
I’ve tried to stop your father many times, but he’s more powerful than me and has spelled me to secrecy. Writing this down is the only way I’ve found around the spell. But I can’t give this journal to you. It has to be stumbled upon. So, I hope it finds you, and I hope, for the sake of the realms, that you’re able to find the nature energy creatures who can stop the vines.
The page ends there. I can tell she was afraid by her jostled handwriting.
My heart is an erratic mess in my chest.
I am the cure. I am part of what can save, not just this realm, but all the realms.
For a selfish moment, I contemplate tucking the book away and not telling Jules. But the moment quickly passes as guilt crushes my soul.
“Jules, I think you need to read this.” I numbly hand him the journal.
He sits up and takes the journal from me with his brows knit.
I lean back in the chair and shut my eyes as he silently reads, only our rushed breaths filling up the silence. The clock dings, announcing the next hour.
He should’ve been done reading by now.
I open my eyes and find him staring at me, no violet glow, no smile.
“We need to find these other nature creatures,” I mumble, staring at the clock. It’s easier than looking at his expressionless face.
“Yeah, we do,” he agrees.
Tears pool in my eyes. I feel like such a coward.
He climbs onto the sofa beside me, cups my chin, and forces me to look at him. “I will not sacrifice you, Lake. I promise you that. But we need to find these creatures, and then find this witch.”
I inhale, sucking back the tears, pre
tending to be tougher than I am. “Why do we need to find the witch?”
He scoops up the journal from off the floor and hands it to me, tapping a page. I was so overwhelmed with emotions while I was reading the journal entry that I didn’t bother looking through the rest of the pages. If I had, I’d have realized his mom scribbled a few more words that could help us.
Start with finding the higher mountain witch your father spoke to. She can give you more information about the vines: how to get rid of them, and how to get them to stop taking lives. She is the key to this, so go to the Sun Moon Realm and find her. Her name is Star. She lives on the highest mountain in the realm. That’s all I know as of now. If I find out more, I’ll write it down.
I fan through the pages, but there are no more entries.
“We need to find this witch,” Jules says. “Then we’ll start looking for these other nature realm creatures. But first, I need to find out how to get rid of these vines without losing you. Because I won’t lose you, Lake.” He traps my face between his hands. “I refuse to.”
“How do we find the witch?” I wonder. “Werewolves are banned from the Sun Moon Realm.”
“We’ll might be able to find a witch who can get us into the realm. Definitely not Ava, though. Not when she’s bound to my father. Or we could find another creature we can trust and send them in to find Star.”
“We could always ask Legend.” When he starts to shake his head, I stress a valid point. “He’s the most trustworthy creature I know, besides you, and he’s known about my abilities and hasn’t told a single creature. We can trust him. I know we can.”
He considers what I said for a lengthy amount of time. “You think he’d do it? Because, it could be complicated and risky. Not to mention he couldn’t tell any other creature what he was doing.”
“I know he’d want to help, especially if it means helping me.”
More silence and then, “If you say we can trust him, then I do, too. We’ll ask him to do this, but we need to make sure he fully understands what he’s getting into. And no one else can know about this yet.”
Forever Violet (Tangled Realms Book 1) Page 25
