by J. L. Ostle
“I know you couldn’t help it. You both are very busy and I know you both can’t always get away.” I have come home every Christmas and Fourth of July but Colin always had a game somewhere or had training. When I had something going on, it would so happen he could make it home. It was like he was waiting to see what my plans were first.
It would hurt if I knew he was avoiding me on purpose.
“I love you, Mom, I just want you to know that.”
“I love you too. Stay safe, okay?”
“I will.” We say our goodbyes and I hang up. I scroll through my contact list until I see Colin’s name. My finger hovers above it before I decide to press it. I listen to the rings, my heart beating a million times a second before he answers.
“Sasha.” Just hearing his voice saying my name sends shivers all over me. “Everything okay?” I hear concern in his voice.
“Yeah, I just wanted to say sorry I couldn’t make it to dinner and congratulations.” Silence.
“I understand. Thank you, though.”
“I’m very proud of you. You're following your dream, it’s such an accomplishment.”
“Thank you, Sasha. That means a lot. I heard you are living yours.”
I chuckle. “I play gigs, but we are pretty popular on campus and a few bars. I had a meeting today and if luck is on my side, I could be getting signed.”
“That is amazing. They would be idiots if they didn’t snatch you up.”
“Thank you, Colin.” It goes silent again.
“I guess I will say goodb…”
“Colin.” I interrupt him.
“Yeah.”
I bite my lip. “I did try. I tried to be there. I was just too late. I showed up to the restaurant but you were already gone.”
“You came to the restaurant?” I nod even though he can’t see me.
“Yeah, I ran in, hoping I got to see you but you were gone. I just want you to know that I did try.”
“Do you still have black hair?” I look to my phone, confused.
“Yeah, why?” I hear him curse away from the phone but I can still hear him.
“Nothing. Thanks for trying.”
“It doesn’t help that I was about two hours too late.” I laugh.
“Just thank you for trying.”
“Goodbye, Colin.”
“Goodbye, Sasha.” I hang up and I look at my phone like it’s going to show me a magic window so I can see him.
Colin
1 year later
“I’m sorry, son, but it's broken,” the doctor tells me, showing me the x-ray sheet. I hold my cast to my body. It can’t be broken. Not my good arm.
“When can I play again?” I look to my dad and to Coach before looking back to the doctor who won’t look at me.
“I’m afraid it’s serious. You most likely won’t get the full strength back that it once had and, if anything ever did happen again, you wouldn’t be able to use the full function of your right arm.” I listen to each word but none of it is registering.
“I can’t play football anymore?”
“I’m afraid not, son.” Tears form in my eyes. This is the only thing I’m good at. I was born to do this.
“Is there anything he could do? Physio? Treatments?” Dad asks.
“I’m afraid not. The cast will keep the bones in place and help repair the damage but, like I said, it’s not going to be the same. He can’t put too much pressure on it or he will feel immense pain by overworking it. He needs to be careful and look after himself.”
“Thank you, doctor,” Coach says before walking to my side. I watch as the doctor leaves, stunned.
“What am I supposed to do now?”
“You heal, you rest, and think about what your next steps are going to be.” Coach claps my good shoulder.
“This is all I’m good at. I don’t know what to do with my life.”
“You will find your way. You were a great player, just rest, son.” He gives me a small smile and leaves.
“Dad, what am I going to do?”
“I don’t know, son, but I’ll help you. Whatever you need, I will help you.” I look up to the ceiling and coach’s words hit me.
You were a good player.
Were.
My career is over. Everything I worked for is flushed down the toilet.
I am trying hard not to cry, knowing my dad is still in the room, when a nurse walks in. “Your wife and daughter are waiting outside for you. They seem worried.” I start to panic. I don’t want Sasha to see me like this. I haven’t seen her in years and I don’t want the first time to be me in a hospital bed.
“Dad, don’t let Sasha in here. Say I don’t want any visitors. Tell them to leave,” I beg him. “Please.” He nods.
“Of course. Nurse, make sure no one except myself comes into this room.” She nods before leaving. “I’m here for you son.” He heads to the door. “I know you think your life is over but you’ve made me so proud. I know I was a terrible father, but you got so far, all on your own. All by your own merit. You did well.” He leaves and tears finally come.
I just wish things were different now.
Unknown
1 year later
I watch as she steps out of the cab, looking up at the building. The wind is flowing through her hair and seeing her grab hold of it, moving it over her left shoulder, exposing her beautiful neck, I can’t help but think about licking her.
She smiles and laughs as her friends join her side then head inside the building. I walk slowly behind them and not once do they turn my way.
Why would they?
I look like any businessman that surround these halls. I make sure I’m a few feet away but close enough that my eyes stay on her.
Hearing her voice, hearing her laugh. Fuck it makes my dick hard for her.
I can’t wait until I get her alone.
I know now isn’t the time, but I’m a patient man, and in the long run, it will be worth it.
I watch her head to the elevators and wait. I take a seat not that far away from her and my eyes trail down her body. The skinny black jeans hugging her beautiful ass. The white, ripped crop top teasing any wandering eye to her perfect cleavage.
She looks around the room and her eyes come in my direction, pausing on me, and in that second, my body heats up. I feel like her eyes have seared into my bone and flesh. What feels like hours, I know was a mere second before her eyes have moved away from me.
I know she was made for me.
I wouldn’t feel like this if it didn’t mean anything.
She is the one.
I will show her that I am hers.
She will see that I am everything she could possibly want.
Soon she will be mine.
Sasha
Now
My head falls back against the wall as I feel his hard dick thrust inside me. He hikes my leg up higher, his fingers digging into my thigh. I beg him to dig in harder and I feel his nails pierce into my skin.
He knows what I like, what makes me moan in ecstasy.
I still feel the adrenaline from the show run through my veins.
I hear people moving about not that far from us and it makes me even more turned on. Knowing we could get caught any second. He starts thrusting harder, faster, so I know he’s close. I place my hand between us and start rubbing my clit, the ache building inside me. I rub harder and then bite down on his shoulder as my orgasm hits me and soon he follows, screaming out his own release.
We stay in place for a couple of minutes until I start to push him away. He releases my leg and I adjust my leather dress and pat down my hair. I look to him and his eyes are on me.
“Don’t forget to look after my baby,” I tell him. He knows my baby is my guitar. It’s the guitar my father gave me. I don’t play it in my shows but I like bringing it everywhere with me. I like knowing a part of him is still with me.
“Sure, Sasha,” Digger says, still not moving. Digger is part of the roadie crew.
He is very attractive with thick, dark brown hair that covers his eyes. His eyes are a light shade of blue. His body is so damn lickable, and I have the pleasure to do so whenever I want.
“You can go now.” He nods and walks around me. I lean back against the wall, sighing. I hope he isn’t starting to get attached to me.
He knows my rules.
He knows if he starts to get any kind of feelings for me, our easy, free fucking would stop.
I start to head to my changing room when I hear Xander, my stepfather, shouting. I look into my room to see him yell at one of the security guys.
“How did you not see who came in here? This is unacceptable.” I look at the words on my mirror, the flowers placed around my room.
So, crazy fan is at it again.
I walk further in and see my mom sitting on the couch so I go to her and she wraps her arms around my shoulders. We watch Xander take out his frustration before the security guy leaves.
“I love how protective he is,” mom whispers.
“That’s it. I have had enough of this bullshit. We are getting you a bodyguard.” This isn’t the first time he has suggested it, each time I always say no. I stand and start pacing. Xander takes my place next to my mother.
“I am not getting a bodyguard.” I groan out to the room. I can see the concerned look on their faces but they are making too much of a deal out of nothing. I look back to my mirror with the words ‘beautiful as always’ written in my lipstick. I head to the flowers that cover my desk. I know it’s harmless. It’s just a crazy fan, but I want to know, how is he getting in here without anyone seeing?
“Honey, please. I beg of you. It’s just for your safety until we know who is behind this.” I take the flowers without reading the card, placing them in the bin. I don’t need to read the cards, they are always the same.
I love you.
I can’t wait to be with you.
You will be mine.
You touch me, more than you will ever know.
I used to think it was sweet but now, they are just making me crazy. He or she… yes, I said she. It could be a girl. I’ve had my share of women admirers recently. He or she are just getting worse. They know where I live, I receive flowers there if I’m home, I get letters from them telling me what they love about me or our future together.
“Please listen to your mother, the person is getting worse. He…”
“Or she,” I interrupt him and he rolls his eyes.
“Or she, left you rose petals in your room. They are getting through your home gates, leaving petal messages on your lawn. Who knows how crazy the person is. Let’s just get you some security.”
“I don’t want some strange man following me everywhere, being in my home. It wouldn’t feel right for me.” I lean on my knees and I feel my mom’s hand on my shoulder.
“Sweetie, it could get worse.”
“It’s just flowers and letters, how much worse can it get?” Just like I jinxed it, there is a tap on the door and Joe, one of the other roadies, looks to me and my parents.
“I’m sorry to interrupt but I found this near your guitar when I was packing it away.” He walks over, handing me a huge envelope. I take it, covering my mouth with my hand when I see the words.
Soon Sasha…
Soon x
“Oh, God,” Mom whispers. I turn the envelope over and open it slowly to see photographs. I gasp when I see picture after picture of me in my house, in my hotel rooms. I’m sleeping. I stand abruptly, dropping everything to the floor when I see a picture of me with my leg kneeled out of my bed sheet and a hand touching my leg.
“Sick motherfucker,” Xander growls, looking through the pictures.
“Fine, find someone,” I say defeated. He’s been in my home, he’s touched me. My main question though, is why hasn’t he tried anything yet? I look back to the envelope seeing the word soon.
He’s waiting, but why?
“Okay, I’m going to make some calls.” Xander walks out of the room, taking the photos with him.
“Honey, you know Xander won’t let anything happen to you. I guess being a rockstar has its downside.” I find it weird when people call me a rockstar. I look around my room, still shocked that I actually made it here.
“I just thought it was sex, drugs, and rock and roll. No one ever mentioned stalkers,” I try and joke.
“The joys of being famous. I’m just happy that you haven’t forgotten poor old me.” She chuckles.
“I told you I wouldn’t, but you do know that you don’t need to come to all my shows when I’m back at home. I know you’re busy.”
“I am never too busy for you. I love hearing you sing. You have some songs that are a bit too hardcore for me, but the power ballads stuff I love.” I love my power ballads. I feel that when I sing something so powerful, I connect more with my fans, but now I’m thinking maybe I’m connecting way too much.
Our power ballad songs do better in the charts but on stage, the crowd loves the harder stuff. They love the hurt and pain that I deliver through my words. My muse hasn’t stopped and each day that passes, a new song enters.
The door slams open and we both turn our heads to see Karen standing there. “Hey, Mama Two. You liked our set?”
“I always love your set.”
“If you said no, you know you would have broken my heart.” Karen places her hand on her chest.
“Good thing I always say yes, then.” Mom stands, kissing my forehead and hugging Karen before leaving to follow Xander.
“Why is Marie looking all gloom and doom?” Karen plonks down on the couch that is opposite me.
“My crazy fan has gone red con one. He’s taken pictures of me at home and when I’ve been in hotel rooms.”
“What are you doing in these pictures?” Karen sits up straighter.
“Sleeping.”
“That’s fucked up.”
“On one picture, his hand is on my leg.”
“Holy shit, Sash, that’s crazy. He could have raped you or something. You need to up your security.”
“Xander is working on it. He’s getting me a bodyguard.” I roll my eyes.
“I hope he gets a hot one.” Karen rubs her hands together.
“My life could be in the balance and you’re worried if he’s going to be hot.”
“I’m thinking of you, babe, you need a hottie in your life and it could be like that movie with Whitney Houston. You two will fall in love and he will take a bullet for you and you two will part ways but you will always love him.” I look at her loved up face and stand to push her, taking a seat beside her.
“I don’t think that will happen and, besides, I have Digger if I need a quick release.” I think back to my release before. I still picture his very long tongue between my thighs.
“You could do so much better than him. Besides, I think he’s starting to get a little clingy.”
“He knows where he stands, he only gets some if I need some. It works for me. I’m not like you, I can’t just pick a guy in the crowd and fuck them somewhere and leave.”
“It’s easier that way.” She sprawls her legs over mine.
“You have had shit lays,” I remind her.
“Don’t remind me. Remember the one that had a body of a God but the dick of a toothpick?” She shivers. “I couldn’t even feel him when he was inside me, I still get nightmares when I think of him. Or what about the guy who loved sucking my chin. He wouldn’t even kiss me, just made out with my chin.” I burst out laughing. I loved the chin guy.
“At least with Digger I don’t get those problems.”
“Unless he’s your stalker.” I freeze and she looks at me, shaking her head. “I’m joking. Digger hasn’t got the smarts to think of ways to get into your home and hotel rooms without someone seeing him.”
“But he has access to my changing rooms and that’s where I’m getting the flowers and notes.” I stand up, pacing the room.
“It’s too obvious. It’s not him. Bes
ides, I know he fucks around, too, and he wouldn’t do that if he was stalking you. Stalkers are obsessed with the person, it's someone who has put you on some pedestal.”
“Why did we become famous again?” I lean against the wall, my head banging against it.
“Because we love music and it’s what we always dreamed of.”
“Just remind me that until all this craziness stops.”
“You got it, now let’s go and get a few drinks. We’re stuck back here for two more days and I want to show everyone from high school that I’m better than them.” She stands, linking her arm with mine.
“We might not see anyone from school.”
“We’re famous, of course we will meet our old classmates.” She smiles and guides us to a limo that is in front of the arena with Brady and Leo inside.
“Took your time,” Leo says with a glass of brandy in his hand. The years have been good for the boys. They have gotten bigger and better looking. Their fashion sense has changed and if they weren’t like brothers to me, I would hit on them.
“Sasha has a stalker,” Karen says like it’s a normal thing to say.
“It’s always the lead singers who get stalkers.” Brady pouts as the limo sets off.
“I chose the wrong placement in the band. Anyone want to switch?”
“I’m good.” Everyone says at once.
“Thanks,” I grumble.
“Chin up, lets head to the club, drink, and dance the night away. You never know, you may get a good fuck before the night is out.” Karen winks at me.
“We’ll see.” I smile at her and she passes me a flute of champagne.
Colin
I groan out into the room when my head starts banging. I feel like someone has got a jackhammer against my skull. The banging continues and I realize it’s not my head but my front door. I sit up from my couch, the place spinning a little.
I can’t believe I fell asleep on my couch again.
The banging continues. I feel like I could break someone’s face with how loud they are. I stand up, heading to the door, shouting to them that I’m coming but the knocking doesn’t stop. I open the door to see my father.
