Hank touched his fingers against the edge of her jaw. “Hey. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I’m in awe of your bravery. You stayed alive. You managed to help Bethany escape.” He took a deep breath, his broad chest widening to immense proportions. “God, you have no idea just how amazing you are.”
Chrissten stared at Hank, taking his words in, wanting to believe them. He’d been a stranger to her only moments before. No, that wasn’t quite true. She might not have seen his face before, but his scent had been imprinted on her heart and mind. She felt close to him. Closer than she’d felt to anyone outside her family.
“I should have found a way to escape. I should have—” Anger bubbled up inside her. “I should have fought him harder. Should have killed him.” Shame washed over her like a tsunami. There should have been something she could have done to prevent what had happened to her.
“How?” Again, there was no sense of judgment from Hank, just a simple question. “He’s a pureblooded male and you were a female in heat. Even if you did fight him, you couldn’t hold out forever. He would have used his strength against you.”
The memories of that first time made her flinch. “I hit him and scratched him, but he was so big. So strong.” She willed Hank to understand. She couldn’t bear to see pity, or worse, contempt, on his face.
Hank nodded and turned his hand so it was cupping her cheek. “There was nothing you could have done differently.”
She gulped for air, feeling as though she’d run a mile at top speed. “Everything was so out of control. My body was on fire. But I didn’t give in.”
Her heart was racing so fast she feared she might pass out. But she had to finish this, had to make him understand. Why that was so important to her, she didn’t know. All she knew was it was imperative he believe her. “But then I couldn’t fight any longer and he was there, over me, inside me.”
A tear trickled down her face. Hank caught it on his thumb and rubbed it into her skin. “It’s not your fault. You might want to talk to Meredith about this. She’s alpha female of his pack. Her first mating wasn’t exactly her choice either.”
She didn’t want to talk about this anymore. The memories hurt worse than her physical injuries. The bruises would heal with time. Those memories would always be with her, lurking in the dark corners of her mind.
It might be cowardly, but Chrissten didn’t care. She closed her eyes, but it didn’t help. She could still see Brian in her mind’s eye, touching her. Taking her against her will.
Something touched her bottom lip. Her eyes flew open and she stared dumbfounded at Hank as he rubbed his thumb over the plump, pink skin again. “Your lips are so soft.”
“What? What are you doing?” Chrissten was yanked away from the dark past and into the present. She should pull away. She should be upset that he was touching her. Shouldn’t she?
Only she wasn’t. His touch was healing and she wanted more of it.
“If you want me to stop I will.” He continued to slowly move the pad of his thumb back and forth. “But I’m hoping you won’t ask me to.”
“I don’t understand.” She was lightheaded and not all of it was due to her injuries and hunger.
“I don’t fully understand either,” Hank confessed. “All I know is I want to take away the bad memories. Replace his touch with something good. Will you let me?”
Where she’d been cold only minutes before, now she was hot. Perspiration was making her nightgown stick to her skin. “What are you asking me?” He couldn’t be asking her to have sex with him. She couldn’t. Not now. Maybe not ever. But oh how she was tempted. If anyone could remove the taint of Brian’s touch from her skin she knew with a bone-deep certainty it was this man.
There was something about Hank that tugged at her, made her want to get closer to him.
“A kiss. Just a kiss. Nothing more.” He brushed a lock of her hair away from her face. “I want to taste your lips to see if they’re as sweet as they look.”
Her mind went to mush. Impossible. Yet she leaned forward, silently giving him permission.
Hank kept his eyes open and she stared at them, lost in the heat of them. His pupils dilated, swallowing some of the icy blue of his irises. His nostrils flared. His breath was warm on her skin. And then his lips were touching hers.
It was so slight she could barely feel him, and it made her lean even closer. He increased the pressure but still kept the caress gentle. He moved his lips back and forth, back and forth, until she was mesmerized, lost in his soft kiss and the tenderness in his eyes.
He pulled back until only a breath separated them. “Again?”
She nodded and parted her lips.
He groaned and kissed her. The mattress squeaked as he shifted closer. He held her face in his hands, his grip loose, not confining. It occurred to her that Hank had a great deal of discipline. Every muscle in his body was tense but his kiss remained totally light and undemanding.
He eased back again and she stared at him and blinked. She brought her fingers to her lips. “He never kissed me.” What a thing to blurt out. Chrissten was immediately appalled.
The tension in the room ratcheted up a notch but Hank merely shook his head. “He’s not only in need of killing, he’s an idiot too.”
The casual way he spoke of killing Brian shook her. It wasn’t his fight. Wasn’t his problem. “I…” What did she say to a statement like that? What could she say?
“It’s all right, Chrissten. I’m going to handle Brian.”
She shook her head vehemently. The motion made her head ache and her stomach roil. She didn’t want Hank anywhere near Brian. “No, Brian is my problem.”
Hank stood and she could see a bulge in the front of his jeans. He was totally aroused. Yet he wasn’t forcing himself on her, wasn’t demanding she take him.
Shaken, Chrissten curled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.
“Hey.” Hank captured her hand and brought it to his lips. He touched his mouth to her skin, sending shivers skating down her spine. But it wasn’t fear she was feeling. It was something totally different, something she didn’t want to examine or face.
“I’m sorry,” he continued. “I didn’t mean to pressure you or upset you. I just wanted to reassure you that you don’t have to worry about Brian. You’re safe here. There are three pureblood male werewolves and four of us half-breeds who are all sworn to protect you.”
So he was a half-breed like her. In a strange way it made her feel safer with him. He was like her, like Quinn.
And speaking of her brother… “Where is Quinn?”
Hank released her hand and tucked it under the cover. “He’s been in here every half hour since we managed to boot him out of your room so he could rest. That’s, of course, when he wasn’t issuing orders on your care.”
That sounded like Quinn. Stubborn and dictatorial. It made her smile. She’d missed him.
“You’re beautiful when you smile.”
The smile slipped from her face. This man was totally unexpected. He said the strangest things and she didn’t know how to respond.
He sighed and straightened, towering over the bed. “You don’t ever have to be afraid I’ll do anything to harm you. I only want to protect you.”
Now she felt bad, like she’d insulted him. Her emotions, her thoughts were all over the place.
“Hey.” He put his hands on his hips, which made his shoulders appear even wider. She should have been afraid, or at the very least intimidated. But the feelings just weren’t there. Chrissten’s wolf chuffed and rubbed against the inside of her skin as if she wanted to get out so Hank could touch her. Her wolf trusted this man and so did she. There was no logical explanation for it.
“You don’t need to worry about me or anyone else. All you need to worry about is getting better.”
Hanks nostrils flared and he took a step back from the bed, putting some distance between them. Chrissten fought the totally illogical sense of abandonment that s
peared through her.
As if he’d caught a glimpse of her thoughts, he pinned her with a fierce glare. “I’ll keep you safe.”
She caught the sound of footsteps in the distance and cocked her head to one side to hear them better. There were two people coming. Chrissten sniffed and her heart began to race. Her brothers. She suddenly wanted to see them, to hug them, to assure herself once again they were real.
The door opened and Quinn stalked inside then stopped so suddenly that Craig nearly plowed into him.
“Hey, watch where you’re going, Quinn.” Craig shoved him, but Quinn didn’t move.
She didn’t know what to say to her family. So much had happened to her. There were so many problems ahead of them. They’d all changed so much and there was no going back to the way they’d been before her abduction.
Maybe they’d blame her for what happened. She chewed on her bottom lip as uncertainty swamped her.
“You’re awake.” Quinn hesitated by the door, not moving, but her younger brother had no such reservations. Craig hurried to the bed, threw himself down next to her and hugged her. Tears welled in her eyes. There was no denying the love she felt coming from him. She clung to him, hugging him back.
“I missed you,” she whispered in his ear.
He leaned back, tears in his eyes. “I missed you too. So damn much. I’ve got so much I want to tell you, to share with you.”
Hank spoke up. “I’ll go and get something for Chrissten to eat while you two are visiting.” He walked toward the door and was gone. She watched Hank leave, wanting to call him back, which was totally illogical.
Quinn’s eyes narrowed briefly as he studied her. She lowered her gaze. Maybe he was ashamed of her for what had happened. Maybe he did blame her.
“Chris?” She raised her gaze and saw pure love blazing from his eyes. Eyes so familiar, eyes she saw whenever she looked in a mirror. Her twin. Her brother. He came around to the other side of the bed, sat and pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her neck. “I’m so damn glad you’re alive.”
And there was her answer. Some of the weight on her heart lifted. Her family still loved her, still wanted her with them. None of the horrors she’d endured mattered at this moment. The important thing was that she’d been found and rescued and was with her family once again.
She peered over Quinn’s shoulder and her eyes locked on the empty doorway. Hank would be back. He’d promised.
Brian stared at the room in disgust. Squatters had obviously moved in, leaving tons of garbage and debris behind, which assaulted his nose. The kitchen cabinets had been ripped out and used as kindling in the living room fireplace. The floors were pitted and worn, but the walls were strong and the roof didn’t leak.
It wasn’t much, but it was the best they could do given the circumstances. He’d moved his pack immediately after the attack on the lab. No telling what that other pack knew about them and their location. Brian wasn’t taking any chances.
His gut churned and anger burned through his blood. Doctor Phillip Morton was dead, and with him the chance for their pack to gain more females. Those bastards had killed him. Brian had gone back to check hours after the attack and had found plenty of blood and the stench of vampire. There was little doubt about the man’s fate. He had no idea what a vampire was doing running with a wolf pack, but he didn’t give a shit. He’d stake the bloodsucker when he killed the other wolves. They all had to die for what they’d done.
They’d taken his mate from him. If they thought they could take his property and not pay for it they had another thing coming. Chrissten belonged to him.
“What do we do now?” William, his second in command now that his brother was dead, stood at attention and waited patiently for his reply.
That was another thing he owed those other fuckers for. They’d shot Marcus so full of silver shot the doctor hadn’t been able to save him. He didn’t doubt it was the same group that had tried to rescue Chrissten before. He’d caught the scent of several that were familiar. He’d kill them all if it was the last thing he did. Then he’d take their women.
“We’re going hunting.” He smiled at the thought of having Chrissten fighting him, clawing him, as he took her. His cock stirred in delight. Oh yes, he’d have her again if it was the last thing he did.
“Send three of the others out to start scouting. Someone in this city knows where Chrissten is. According to Morton’s files she has two brothers. Start looking for them.” It might take them a while to find her, but he would. They wouldn’t have left the city yet. Chrissten was weak and her brothers would want to kill Brian, eliminate the threat to her, before moving on. No, they were still in the city and he would find and kill her brothers and take his mate back. It mattered not to him that she didn’t want to belong to him. She did and that was that.
He stared back at the dilapidated quarters they now called home. The building was one of many the pack owned around the city. They’d bought it cheap and could sit on it for years until the real estate prices went back up. And they would. They always did. As a werewolf, he had plenty of time to wait. He was only eighty, not even truly in his prime yet.
“Clean this dump up. I’m going out to search for a bit and I’ll pick up some pizzas on the way back. We’ll meet here in two hours and go from there.”
William nodded and immediately went upstairs to rouse the others. Brian liked the way his new second jumped to do his bidding. His brother had always questioned him and his leadership. He stroked his fingers over his jaw and smiled. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that his brother had died after all. Made life much easier for him. The others were followers, not leaders. Only Marcus had been a threat to his leadership.
He left the mostly boarded-up house and hit the streets. He had a mate to find.
Chapter Five
Chrissten was tired of being in bed. It had been three days since she’d shared that memorable kiss with Hank and she hadn’t been alone for one second of that time. Not that she was complaining. She was coming to know and like all the members of the Haven pack. But she freely admitted that some of the males made her nervous.
She was fine with Quinn and Craig, of course. They were her brothers and she loved and trusted them both. She’d been shocked and a little jealous to discover Bethany and her brother were mated.
What must it be like to be with a male of your choosing, someone you loved and respected? Not with someone who treated you like nothing more than a body to be used at their convenience. Chrissten wasn’t sure she’d ever find out. Her mistrust of werewolf males was ingrained deeply within her after her ordeal but she was working to get past it.
She liked Meredith. It was impossible not to. She was both beautiful and gracious, not to mention strong-willed. Chrissten admired Meredith’s poise and self-confidence. The older woman was currently seated in a comfortable brown leather chair that had been moved into the room a few days ago.
“It’s not your fault, you know.” Meredith sipped her cup of coffee. She had a plate with a club sandwich and home fries balanced on her lap. Teague had made them lunch. Chrissten had quickly realized he was the male in charge of the kitchen. She liked the fact the women weren’t expected to handle that chore simple because of their gender.
He’d served her a rich chicken noodle soup with several slabs of fresh whole wheat bread. For dessert he’d sent along a hunk of chocolate cake. Teague did know the way to a woman’s heart. But that male had a woman. He and Neema were very much in love, which made it easier for her to be around him.
There seemed to be love all around them. While it was wonderful to see, it was also a sharp reminder of what she didn’t have in her own life. Meredith’s mate was intimidating as hell. Isaiah Striker frightened her with his intensity and the sense that he was barely keeping his animalistic side in check. He reminded her too much of Brian.
But his saving grace was his love for his mate. It was evident with every action he took, every word he spoke, that the sa
fety and happiness of Meredith and the rest of them were his priority.
“Chrissten?”
She realized she’d been ignoring, Meredith. “Sorry.” She spooned up some of the soup and let the flavor explode on her tongue. “This is good.”
“Yes, it is,” Meredith, agreed. “And you’re ignoring what I said to you.”
Chrissten set her spoon down on the tray in her lap. “No, I’m not ignoring it. I’m just trying to avoid thinking about it for a bit longer.” She and Meredith had talked several times over the past few days. The alpha female was a font of information and comfort. Chrissten had quickly gotten the impression that Meredith mothered everyone in her pack and had extended that to include Quinn, Craig and her.
“Oh, honey.” Meredith leaned forward and placed her hand on Chrissten’s arm. “I understand. Truly I do. My first mate caught me away from the pack when I went into heat. I fought him but eventually gave in. I know how powerful the biology is.”
“I didn’t give in. Not at first. I fought until I was bloody and beaten. But when—” Chrissten took a deep breath, fighting past the tightness in her chest. God, she hated to think about it, let alone talk about it with someone. But Meredith was not only a good listener, she was also a female werewolf. If anyone would understand, she would. “But when he finally came inside me it felt good.” That shamed her more than anything else to say the words out loud. That she’d found some pleasure in the act.
“Chrissten, look at me.” She raised her gaze to meet Meredith’s fierce one. “There was nothing you could have done to avoid what happened to you. It’s biology plain and simple. You were held captive, you were in heat and there was a male werewolf pressuring you to mate. That first time is like no other. Believe me, I know. Your wolf wants out and will do anything to accomplish that.”
“The bitch,” Chrissten quipped, surprising a laugh from Meredith.
“In some ways.” She sat back, took a bite of her sandwich and chewed thoughtfully. “Having intercourse with a male is designed to alleviate the mating heat. That in and of itself would have brought you a measure of pleasure and relief. But you’re more than your wolf side, more than your instincts. We have a human form too. That side of your personality would be even stronger in a half-breed like you. That’s the part of you currently battling with this sense of shame.”
Finding Chrissten l(-5 Page 5
