The water was turning cold again. “Shit.” The hot water had run out. Hank grabbed the soap and made quick work of washing himself. As soon as he was rinsed off, he turned off the water. The silence surrounded him. He grabbed a towel and rubbed it over his head before wrapping it around his hips.
The mirror was covered in a filmy coating of steam and he used the side of his hand to swipe enough away so he could see himself. Pale blue eyes stared back at him. Determination was etched on his face.
A layer of thick stubble covered his jaw. He rubbed a hand over his face. He definitely needed to shave. He couldn’t kiss Chrissten without leaving a mark on her skin. He hated being away from her for even five minutes. Intellectually, he knew she was safe enough downstairs with the others. There were at least three pureblooded males and several other half-breeds watching her.
Still, Hank knew he wouldn’t feel settled until he could see her with his own two eyes. He grabbed his electric razor and started to shave. The quicker he finished here the quicker he could see Chrissten again.
Chrissten’s gaze kept sneaking back to the door that separated the club from the stairwell to the apartments upstairs. There was still no sign of Hank. It surprised her that he hadn’t joined them for breakfast. Of course, he’d spent all night watching over her. The man was probably sick of her by now. He had a life of his own. Things to do. He couldn’t be with her all the time.
The entire pack was here with the exception of Hank. Joshua and Alex were here as well. Thankfully, Donovan Brody was absent. Chrissten wasn’t up to dealing with her biological father until she’d had her coffee. He was expected later today.
Her stomach fluttered and she placed her hand over it to try to settle it. She had to be realistic. Hank didn’t belong to her, wasn’t her man anymore than she was his woman.
Yes, last night had been wonderful, but nothing could ever come of it. She was mated until death to another male.
But that didn’t stop her from wanting and wondering.
“You feeling all right?” Bethany leaned over to whisper softly while the rest of the men chatted about the scores from last night’s baseball game. The season was barely underway but the men were already into it.
“I’m fine.” The last thing she wanted was for anyone to discover what was going on between her and Hank. “I didn’t sleep well last night.” Partly truth. Partly a lie. She’d slept great once Hank had joined her in bed, holding her in his arms.
“Bad dreams?” Sympathy tinged Bethany’s voice. Anger shot through Chrissten. She knew her friend meant well, but she didn’t want anyone pitying her.
She straightened her shoulders and forced herself to shrug. “It’s nothing.” It was time for her to start making plans. She could feel Bethany’s gaze on her but didn’t look at the other woman.
She turned her attention to Isaiah, waiting for the conversation to lag. As soon as it did, she jumped right in. “Any news on Brian and his pack yet?”
Eight sets of male eyes and four sets of female eyes landed on her. She forced herself not to squirm under their scrutiny.
Isaiah shook his head. “Nothing yet. Craig is still searching. Damek has some people on it as well. It’s only a matter of time.”
Time. Not something she had a lot of. Her gut was screaming that if she didn’t find Brian soon, he’d find her and she’d lose the element of surprise. She’d rather go on the offensive than be on the defensive. She wanted to take the fight to him and not bring it here to these people. They deserved better.
Footsteps fell on the stairs and, in spite of her telling herself not to look, her head swiveled around and she soaked in the sight of Hank as he came through the door.
Meredith called out a greeting. “Morning, Hank. Come have some breakfast. Teague made ham and eggs. There’s still some left.”
That’s not all Teague had made. There were bowls filled with hash browns, plates loaded with toast, a huge pot of coffee and a jug of freshly squeezed orange juice. Or at least there had been. The pickings were a little slim at the moment. The rest of them had gone through the food like a cloud of locusts in a wheat field. Werewolves had a fast metabolism and needed a lot more calories than humans did to sustain themselves.
She waited for Hank to look her way. He nodded at Meredith, Isaiah and the others, grabbed a plate and loaded it with most of the remaining food on the table. Then he pulled out a chair on the end of the table, sat and began to eat. Not once did he look her way.
Chrissten tried to ignore the senses of abandonment that flooded through her. He hadn’t sat next to her. Of course, Bethany was sitting on one side of her and Craig on the other. It wasn’t like there was any room for him.
And what was she, sixteen? She sounded like a teenager with a crush on some guy in school rather than a mature woman. Her hormones were really playing havoc with her intelligence.
She promised herself she’d ignore him. She honestly did. But somehow her gaze sneaked back in his direction without her permission. He was watching her. Something hot and possessive flared in his gaze and was gone in the next instant. He broke eye contact and applied himself to eating everything on his plate.
Time slowed to a snail’s pace. Finally, Chrissten couldn’t take any more. She rose from her seat and began stacking plates.
“You should rest…” Quinn began.
She glared at him. “I’m sick of resting. If I have to rest any more I’ll go crazy,” she snapped.
Everyone around them went silent. She was making a fool of herself, but there was no stopping her now. She continued to pile dishes until she had a large stack. When she had all she could handle in one load, she picked them up and carried them to the kitchen. Everyone watched her until she was out of sight.
Chrissten knew they all meant well, but she had to start getting her life back to normal. Her bruises and injuries had faded and she had to start working, doing something, if she was ever going to build up her strength. She needed to shift too, to see if she still could.
Part of her was worried she wouldn’t be able to after the trauma she’d been through. Her wolf was still there. Chrissten could feel her, especially in times of stress. And, if she was being honest with herself, whenever Hank was around. Her wolf was as attracted to him as she was.
She set the dishes on the counter next to the dishwasher and planted her hands on the cool tile. An industrial fan whirred and the large stainless steel refrigerators hummed. It was all so normal.
Why then did she want to fling the dishes against the wall and smash every one to bits? Why did she want to throw back her head and scream and scream and scream?
She bit her bottom lip. She felt on the edge of going crazy. Her emotions were scattered and extreme.
Would she ever feel anywhere near normal again?
The double doors swung open behind her. She knew who was there and it wasn’t the male she wanted.
Taking a deep breath, Chrissten turned and faced her brother. He looked wary, and she took pity on him. “I’m okay. Really. Just on edge.” If Quinn only knew just how on edge he’d be even more worried than he already was. But he didn’t. No one did.
Not even Hank.
Quinn stopped in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “I’m just worried about you.” His pale eyes darkened with concern. “You’ve been through so much.”
“And lying up there thinking about it isn’t helping me.” She had to make him understand. Plus, her plan was twofold. First, she had to start working and moving to build her strength. If she was going to fight and kill Brian she needed to be in peak form. And secondly, she needed to be around the rest of them to keep track of any information they discovered. She didn’t trust them not to hold back any news about Brian. In their minds they’d be protecting her. She understood that, but she couldn’t allow it to happen.
Quinn sighed and pulled her into his arms. She’d missed her twin, missed their closeness. Chrissten wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him bac
k. “You have to understand. I have to have to start living some sort of normal life.”
Her brother pulled back and studied her face intently. He knew her too well. Or he had. She’d become adept at hiding her true feelings during her long months of captivity. Finally, he nodded. “I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it.”
She reached out and tugged a lock of his hair. “You can’t keep me locked up forever,” she softly admonished. “A prison is a prison even if it’s a nice one.”
“Fuck.” He released her and began to pace. “That’s not what I meant to do. I want you to feel safe. To have time to recover your health.” He whirled around, fury etched across his face. “You were almost dead.”
Shame washed over Chrissten. She’d been so wrapped up in her own concerns, in what she wanted, that she’d conveniently discounted everything her family had been through. She went to Quinn, put her hand on his chest and felt the heavy thud of his heart. “I know. I’m sorry for what you went through. Have I thanked you for never giving up, for saving my life?”
“For fuck sake. I don’t want your thanks.” Now he looked extremely uncomfortable.
Chrissten couldn’t help but grin. He reminded her of when he’d been a little boy and someone would compliment him. He’d never known how to accept praise. He had a code by which he lived and expected himself to live up to it. Period.
“But you have it whether you want it or not.” She needed to tell him this, needed him to understand the depth of her love for him in case something happened and she wasn’t able to. “I knew you’d come for me. I knew you’d never stop searching.” That knowledge had kept her from giving up and doing something stupid. “You gave me hope when I didn’t have any of my own.”
“Chris.” Her name was little more than a broken whisper. Then his big arms were around her, practically crushing her. She didn’t mind. She loved her brother. Wanted to be close to him.
If everything worked out as planned, she and her family would live together once again. Only this time there would be a new member. She was fiercely glad her brother had Bethany. It would help him if something happened to her and she didn’t survive the upcoming battle. No way was she letting him risk his life for her. Not any longer. He deserved his shot at happiness.
“Knock. Knock.” Craig eased the door open and stepped into the kitchen. “Is this a private party or can anyone join?” The uncertainty in his voice almost broke Chrissten’s heart.
“You’re always welcome, little brother.”
He grinned and joined them. Quinn snaked out his arm and dragged him into the hug. Chrissten inhaled, soaking in the scent and the feel of her brothers. This was family. This was everything.
Yet, something was missing.
Hank.
Her soul yearned for him to be here with them. Then her family would be complete. She shoved that thought aside. She didn’t know what Hank thought about her or her situation. Not really. Sure, he was sweet and nice to her in the middle of the night. But how much of that was real and how much of it was his gallant nature and his desire to simply help her heal.
Her wolf howled, distressed by her thoughts.
Quinn, sensing the shift in her, eased back. “Everything okay?”
She swiped at her eyes, peeved at the show of emotion. “You’re asking me that a lot these days.”
“Cut me some slack. I’ll probably ask it a hundred more times in the next few days.”
Chrissten gave a snort of laughter. “I’ll do my best not to smack you.” Their easy banter brought back memories of better times. God willing, they’d build more happy memories in the future.
She gave Craig a final hug and then began to roll up her sleeves. “I’m going to start loading dishes into the dishwasher and scrubbing pots. You’re welcome to join me if you want.”
As she suspected they would, both her brothers stared at her in mock horror.
“I’ve got some stuff to do on the computer. Yeah, stuff.” Craig kissed her cheek and hurried out of the kitchen.
Quinn sidled toward the door. “I hear Bethany calling me.”
“Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out,” she taunted. He smiled at her and blew her a kiss.
Feeling more light-hearted than she had in a long, long time, she opened the dishwasher and began to load the plates. She was humming under her breath when the door opened again.
She straightened and turned to face Hank. She’d been half-expecting him.
He carried a tray of glasses and mugs over to the counter and set it down. Neither of them spoke. He reached out and brushed a stray hair from her cheek. Chrissten closed her eyes, savoring the tender gesture.
Warm breath brushed her face just before soft lips met hers. Oh, yes. This was what she’d been waiting for, what every cell in her body yearned for.
His tongue teased the seam of her lips and she parted them, inviting him in. He groaned and slid his tongue against hers.
Hank confused her. She wanted to be independent, had to stand on her own two feet and face Brian, her mate. There was no place in her life for Hank. Not now and maybe not ever. It was one thing to kiss him, another thing all together to consider actually having sex with him. She wasn’t sure she would ever trust another male that far.
Yes, she’d trusted him enough to let him touch her, but it was a very big step from that to actual intercourse.
Hank eased back. “You’re thinking too much.”
She gave a broken laugh. “I can’t help it. I have a lot to think about.”
“I know.” He kissed her again. “I’m here for you if you want to talk.”
“I wasn’t sure.” She chewed on her bottom lip, wishing she’d kept her mouth shut. Hank raised a brow in question, waiting for her to explain. “When you came downstairs this morning.” She shrugged. “You seemed. I don’t know. Distant. Uninterested.”
Something dark and deadly flared in his eyes. “Not that. Never that. It’s just if I look at you the way I want to around the others they’ll know how I feel about you. I didn’t think you’d want that made public just now. Personally, I don’t care who knows I want you.”
What he was saying made perfect sense. Her brothers would probably go ballistic. And she wasn’t certain how the others would react. She was actually mated to another wolf. They would probably try to discourage Hank, and that’s assuming they didn’t show her and her family the door right away. Hank was a real member of this pack. She and her family were temporary guests. She had to remember that.
She also needed their help and good will in order to find Brian. “You’re right,” she conceded. “It’s probably for the best.”
He nodded but didn’t look any happier than she felt. God, her life was a mess.
Dishes. That’s all she could do right now. One task at a time. One minute at a time. It was how she’d gotten through the nightmare of the last eighteen months. It would get her through the next few weeks.
If she were still alive when the dust settled, then she’d worry about what came next.
Hank stepped away from her a second before the door swung open and Teague and Neema came in, each carrying a load of dishes and trays. Chrissten smiled at them both and went back to loading the dishwasher.
Chapter Eleven
Later that afternoon, Chrissten lay on the bed upstairs listening to the sounds of the city outside her window. In spite of her determination to help in the bar and work in the kitchen, she’d tired easily and had been forced to retreat for a nap after lunch. At least she’d managed to miss her father’s visit. Or at least postponed it. She’d heard him arrive just as she’d started up the stairs to the apartment. Thankfully, Quinn or someone had kept him away. He’d probably be there when she went downstairs but, for now, she was alone with her thoughts.
She turned onto her side and stared toward the window. From this angle, she could see the tops of some buildings and a thick swatch of gray sky. It matched her mood. Gray. She sighed and traced her index finger
over the top of the comforter, making an abstract pattern.
Frustration ate at her. She wasn’t strong enough to fight Brian, not yet. But the continued weakness in her body was making her crazy. She knew she should be thankful just to be alive. And she was. No doubt about it. But she wanted the final confrontation over and done with. Until it was, her life was in limbo.
“You need to see if you can still shift,” she murmured. She was half-afraid she might discover she’d lost the ability to do so. Back in the final weeks of her captivity, she’d tried over and over to make the shift into her wolf but had been too weak to accomplish it. It had been like losing a vital piece of herself. The terror, the debilitating sense of loss, of anger, had weakened her further as she’d kept trying over and over until she’d finally had to admit defeat.
There was no time like the present. For the first time since she was brought here, she was alone. Kevin had just gone downstairs moments ago and Chrissten expected his replacement any minute. The lack of privacy was maddening. Yes, she appreciated the security and protection. She understood why they felt the need for it. But that didn’t make it any easier. She couldn’t think or plan, not with someone always with her, watching and gauging her moods.
Chrissten rolled out of bed and unbuttoned the nightgown she’d changed into before she’d settled in for her nap. She gave her shoulders a shrug and the fabric slipped down her arms and over her body to pool at her feet. She stepped out, took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
Her wolf was waiting for her and gave an encouraging chuff. Chrissten reached for that part of herself. There really was no separation between them. They were two sides of the same coin. Her human side and her wolf side were both essential to her. She knew in her heart she couldn’t survive without her wolf.
A bead of sweat formed on her forehead and slid down her temple. She concentrated, shutting out everything else, all other distractions. She had to do this.
Finding Chrissten l(-5 Page 12
