“I just came round to say thank you, really,” I said, to break the silence. “For dropping Bee’s note round and stuff...”
“Hey, what are neighbours for?” he said. “Does your dad know you’re here, by the way? He’s not going to burst in and attack me or anything, is he?”
“Don’t be stupid. He’s out. With Bee’s dad.”
“Phew, that’s a relief,” he said, pretending to wipe sweat off his forehead. “You can come round any time, every day if you like, as long as it doesn’t put my life in danger!”
I smiled, my heart racing a million miles a minute.
“Oh, I think you’ll survive,” I said.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
I couldn’t wait to get home. I couldn’t wait to see Mum’s face when I told her that Dad was over at Aidan’s flat, with Lizzie’s dad, and that everyone knew the truth. It took ages for the bus to come; it felt like hours. I leaped off at the other end and raced all the way home. Mum was in the kitchen with Nan and it was obvious from the second I stepped through the door that they already knew.
“Dad just called me!” she cried, as I burst in. “I just don’t believe it. Dad and Michael over at Aidan’s! I can’t get over it. And it sounds as if it was all down to you and Lizzie!”
I stood at the door, grinning. It was brilliant to see her looking so happy, but there was still so much I needed to understand. “Did you know all along that it was Aidan who was driving the car?” I said, going over to sit with them. “Did you know about Dad making him lie?”
Mum’s face fell. “Not at first,” she said quietly. “Dad told me just after we got home from Spain. I was furious to start with. I knew it was wrong. It wasn’t just that we were lying to the police, it was the fact that we were lying to Suzie and Michael.”
“What happened?”
“I nearly went to the police,” said Mum. “I was all set to go the following morning, but that night Aidan woke up screaming. I rushed into his room to comfort him and he clung onto me, sobbing. He was so young, so vulnerable. I rocked him in my arms like a baby until he calmed down and I knew at that moment that I couldn’t bring myself to turn him in. I’m not proud of it, Bee, but he was still my little boy, and it just felt as if his life would be over before it had even started.”
We were all quiet for a moment, thinking of Luke, and how his life was over before it had really started.
“He was a good boy, Aidan,” said Nan quietly. “He was just scared of losing Luke’s friendship, that’s why he went along with everything. But even so, it’s always better to tell the truth.”
Mum nodded, agreeing. “I realized that very quickly, so did Aidan. He was desperate to reveal what had really happened. It started to have an effect on all of us in different ways. Dad couldn’t concentrate on work. He had these awful nightmares and flashbacks. So did Aidan. He was a mess. They were both struggling to come to terms with what had happened, but it was as if sharing the secret drove them apart. Their relationship was in tatters, but Dad was still convinced that telling the truth would ruin Aidan’s life. And then, more recently, he became convinced it would ruin yours.”
“I think it’s ruined Aidan’s life anyway,” I said. “And Lizzie’s.”
“That’s why I was so desperate to go to Spain,” said Mum. “To try to put things right.”
“But Lizzie’s mum said you had a note delivered, the day we all arrived...”
“I know. I sent it with Carlos. I realized the second the plane landed that I couldn’t face them. I just felt so guilty about covering up the truth. Every time I thought about seeing Suzie, my throat started to close up. I wanted to be brave, but then Carlos made that comment about it being paella night and I remembered that the night Luke died it was paella night as well – we’d all been at the hotel restaurant having such a wonderful time... It was the last time we were together.”
“So you told Suzie you didn’t want to come to the ceremony and then you saw her in the market...”
Mum nodded, her eyes glistening. “We were such good friends, Bee, and I’d missed her so much, and just seeing her like that, after so many years, it was so difficult... Oh God, I can’t wait to call her, to see her properly...”
We were still talking things through, making sense of everything, when Bailey texted me. I left Mum and Nan in the kitchen and went next door.
“I’ve been going mad,” he said when I got there. “What happened after I left?”
“Well, it turns out it was Aidan who was driving the car the night Luke died, not my dad. They were drunk and Luke was threatening him.”
“You’re kidding! And then what?”
“It’s too long to go into properly but Lizzie told her parents what really happened that night. Her dad went completely ape and then he calmed down and now they’ve gone to see Aidan. My dad and Lizzie’s dad round at Aidan’s together.”
“No way!” said Bailey, shaking his head, his fringe flopping down over his eyes.
My heart suddenly started to beat very fast. I didn’t care any more that he was Bailey my next-door neighbour, Bailey my old friend and almost brother. “Yes way,” I said. “And there’s one more thing. Thank you for helping me find Aidan and for being so completely brilliant.” I leaned up and, before I could change my mind, I kissed him, right on the lips. And then I turned and ran back through the front door.
“Blimey, Bee!” he called out after me.
But when I glanced back, he was leaning against the door frame, grinning.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
I wrote the poem for Luke later that evening. After struggling to write a word for weeks, it was amazing how easily it came to me. It was the photo. The picture of Luke, down on all fours with the orange peel in his mouth. There was something about that image of him that told me everything I needed to know about my big brother.
When I finished the poem I copied it out really neatly and went downstairs. Mum and Dad were in the lounge, talking quietly. Dad looked different, older. I wanted to go to him, to tell him I loved him, but I still felt scared.
“I think we should have another ceremony for Luke,” I said. “I’ve written a poem and I’d really like to read it out.”
Mum’s face broke into a smile. “Oh, that’s a lovely idea, Lizzie.”
“But I want Bee to come,” I added, before I could lose my nerve. “And her mum and dad, and Aidan. Is that okay?”
Dad flinched slightly, but he nodded.
“Nothing over the top or fancy,” said Mum. “Just our two families together.”
We held the ceremony a few weeks later, just before the end of the summer holidays. Mum and I went to the garden centre and bought an orange tree. Mum was so happy I wanted to do something for Luke, I think she would’ve bought me a whole orchard of orange trees if I’d asked. She said she felt as if a weight had been lifted off her heart for the first time in ten years, and that Dad felt the same, even if he found it harder to say.
“Losing Luke nearly tore us apart. Dad was filled with so much anger and guilt, but most of it was directed at himself and he just didn’t know how to deal with that. That’s why he lashed out all the time. I’m not making excuses for him, Lizzie, I just want you to understand. It wasn’t anything you did wrong.”
“I know, Mum,” I said. “I do understand.”
Bee and her family came over in the afternoon. It was lovely having them in the house, much less stressful than I’d imagined. Mum and Suzie couldn’t stop talking. They nattered away in the kitchen, bringing in plates of sandwiches and cakes, laughing one minute, crying the next. It was so nice to see them together. It just felt right.
First chance I got, I took Bee up to my room and told her about Dilan. I’d only seen him once since everything happened – he came over one morning and we just sat in the garden, chatting. I had to pinch myself a few times to make sure he was really there and that Dad was cool about it.
“I told you he was crazy about you,” said Bee. “It was so obvious that day we
were round at his; the way he laughed at your jokes.”
“What do you mean?” I said, pretending to be offended. “My jokes are really funny! Anyway, how about you and Bailey?”
Bee shrugged, turning beetroot.
“What? What’s going on?”
She covered her face with her hands. “I kissed him,” she whispered through her fingers. “On the lips.”
My mouth fell open. “You are kidding me!”
“I’m not, but I’m so embarrassed about it, you wouldn’t believe.”
“And have you seen him since then?”
“Yeah, I’ve seen him, but neither of us mentioned it. It’s like the biggest nightmare.”
I grabbed my pillow and pretended to kiss it, singing, “Bee and Bailey sitting in a tree – K.I.S.S.I.N.G!” Bee tried to grab it back, but I rolled away, kissing the pillow over and over and laughing so much I couldn’t breathe. She jumped on top of me, wrestling the pillow out of my arms, tickling me all over, until we were lying next to each other, out of breath, tears streaming down our faces.
“You’re so horrible,” she gasped. “I should’ve ignored you that first day I saw you sitting up on your rock. I should’ve walked straight past without stopping.”
“You couldn’t,” I said, serious for a moment. “We were destined to meet each other again. And destined to be best friends.”
We lay back, staring up at the ceiling.
“Best friends for ever, right,” she said, linking her little finger round mine.
“Right,” I said, smiling. “Best friends for ever.”
I read my poem out after tea. We went into the garden and planted the orange tree in a big ceramic pot and then stood in a circle round it: me, Bee, Mum, Suzie, my dad, Bee’s dad and Aidan. We didn’t hold hands or anything, but the circle felt strong – and standing there, in the warm afternoon sunshine, I felt safe for the first time in years.
Bee had brought a red balloon. She said she wanted to release it into the air as a special way of saying goodbye to Luke. We watched it float up over the garden fence, reaching for the clouds, as I began to read.
“My Orange-Peel Brother,” I whispered, my voice shaking slightly. “This is for you.
I’ve been trying to find the brother I lost
Through years of lies and fear and shame
The times I’ve wondered if I was to blame
For staying alive when he was dead
For all the things that were left unsaid
For not feeling sad or missing him much
Or knowing his voice; remembering his touch.
I’ve been trying to find the brother I lost
Using the clues to track him down
The brother who liked to act the clown
Down on all-fours, mucking around
The brother who made me laugh and clap
I’ve been following the clues, using the map
To find my brother as fast as I can
The lies disperse like grains of sand.
My orange-peel brother who’s so far away
So hard to reach when I’m desperate to say
I love you and miss you and wish you were here
Close by my side to blot out the fear
My orange-peel brother, the tears that we’ve cried
You were tough on the outside, but sweet inside
I’ll love you for ever, my orange-peel brother
I’ll love you for ever more.”
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
My eyes snapped open. I looked at the clock. 6.30 a.m. It felt as if this moment had been creeping up on me all summer. My first day back at Glendale High.
I hadn’t really thought about Melissa Knight since we got back from Spain – there’d been so much else going on – but Mum and Dad had sat me down last week for a long talk about the bullying. Aidan was there as well, and Nan. We’d just had Sunday lunch together – a proper family meal with no rows or upsets.
“We don’t mind at all if you want to change schools,” said Mum when I’d finished telling them everything. “Blow the scholarship! We just want you to be happy.”
“I know, and I have thought about changing, but that would be like running away – and if I’ve learned one thing this summer, it’s that running away doesn’t solve anything.”
“Quite right,” said Nan, nodding.
“But are you sure you can deal with it? Deal with this girl, Melissa?” said Aidan. “It sounds as if you’ve had an awful time.”
“Of course I can deal with it,” I said, jutting my chin out. “You have to stand up to bullies. Show them you’re not scared.”
Dad shook his head. “I just don’t know when you got to be so wise and so brave,” he said. “I’m so proud of you, Bee, you’ve got no idea.”
And I had felt brave, last week, when we’d had that conversation. Well, determined to stand up to her anyway. But now the actual day had arrived, I wasn’t so sure. I picked at my breakfast, watching the clock as it sped towards 7.30. If I was going to catch the bus I had to get going. Mum offered to come with me; she said she’d drop me off on her way to work, but I shook my head.
“I’m fine,” I said. “If you take me they’ll know I’m scared.”
I hauled my bag onto my back and left for the bus stop, telling myself to be brave with every step I took. Lizzie thought I was brave. She said I was the bravest person she’d ever met. I held onto that thought as the bus pulled in and I climbed the stairs to the top deck. Lizzie would probably have swapped places with me in a flash too. The last time I’d spoken to her she was still trying to persuade her dad to ditch the homeschooling and let her start proper school.
The bus stopped right near Cromwell Road, two streets away from Lizzie’s. I felt as if there was a brick in my stomach. I got off and then stood at the bus stop for a moment, before forcing myself to join the stream of girls walking in the direction of the school. I wasn’t “Bookworm Bee” or “Brainiac Bee” any more, I was “Brave Bee”, and no one was going to push me around or put me down.
“Hey, Bee!”
Someone was calling me.
“Slow down!”
My heart stopped. I turned round, expecting to see Melissa Knight or one of her stupid mates. I blinked in the September sunshine and then blinked again, convinced I must be hallucinating. It was Lizzie, running towards me. And she was wearing a Glendale High uniform!
She flew into my arms, laughing. “Oh my God! I nearly missed you! I’ve been so excited. I’ve actually known for about two weeks but I wanted it to be a surprise!”
I pulled away from her. “Known about what? What’s going on, Lizzie? What are you doing here?”
“I’m coming to Glendale High!” she cried. “I wore my dad down. I just went on and on about how it was practically at the end of the road, and that it was a really good school and that I already had a best friend there and in the end I think he just agreed to shut me up. Can you believe it? Isn’t it amazing!” She barely paused for breath. “We went up to meet the head the other day and I had to sit a test, but that was fine, especially the literacy, and then Mum took me to get my uniform from the special store in town, and here I am!”
I shook my head, completely speechless. I just couldn’t believe it. Lizzie at Glendale High. The best friend I’d wished for, that first day on the beach.
“Come on, Bee!” cried Lizzie, linking arms with me, and pulling me down the road. “Let’s go get Melissa Knight!”
“Melissa who?” I said, and we looked at each other and burst out laughing.
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We’d been living in our new house in Oakbridge for just over a week and I hated everything about it. When Mum said we were moving to the country, I’d imagined a pretty, old-fashioned cottage with roses round the door – I got the old bit right, but it was dark and gloomy with massive spiders, and cobwebs so thick it was impossible
to see light through them. We’d spent every spare minute trying to get it sorted, but it still gave me the creeps.
“New house, new job, new beginning,” Mum kept saying, doing her best to sound cheery. But the “new beginning” bit was hard – at least, it was for me.
It was alright for Mum – she’d lived in Oakbridge before I was born so it wasn’t really a new beginning for her anyway. But I’d barely had time to finish Year Seven before I was packing my old life up in a stack of brown cardboard boxes and leaving everything I knew behind me.
“I still don’t get why we had to move here in the first place,” I grumbled, sitting down to lunch that first week – pizza again, served on an upturned crate. We’d had pizza every day since we arrived. Hot pizza for lunch, and cold leftover pizza for tea. I never thought I could get sick of pizza – but seriously!
Mum looked across at me, frowning. “What do you mean, you don’t understand? How many times do I have to keep explaining?”
“I know, I know, ‘it’s a great job, too good to pass up’, but you were happy at your old job, weren’t you? And what about me? What am I supposed to do without Laura? And what about my wildlife photography course? You know how much I loved going...”
“Look I’m really sorry, Becky.” Mum pressed her fingers to the side of her head as if she was in pain. “I know it’s difficult for you, but I’m sure Laura will come and visit later on in the summer, and there’ll be loads more opportunities for you to take wildlife photos around here.” She started to clear away the pizza. “Jobs like this don’t come along very often, you know, not when you get to my age. I’ll be running my own department. It’s a huge step up.”
We were so busy those first few days I didn’t have much time to think about what I was going to do once Mum actually started her great new job. It was the summer holidays – the hottest July on record, the weatherman kept saying – and six empty weeks stretched out in front of me. We weren’t connected to the internet yet, and I could barely get a phone signal for long enough to call anyone. Talk about being stuck in the middle of nowhere.
Forbidden Friends Page 19
