“It would appear so,” she agreed and glanced at her host and hostess. Nathan and Annie appeared fascinated by their food.
Suzanna ignored Jake’s barely concealed grin and placed her fork beside her plate. “Nathan says you have quite a large ranch in Wyoming. It must have been a hardship to leave and come south. Spring is a busy time of year on most ranches and farms, what with the new animals being born, and crops to get in the ground.”
“You are familiar with the requirements of ranching, Suzanna?”
“I understand the demands of the seasons. I’m sure they are much the same in any part of the country. All the more reason I’m sure Nathan appreciates your visit. You must be fortunate enough to have men in your employ able to carry on without you?”
“I do. I’d enjoy showing it all to you someday.” He cut his chicken, took a bite, and chewed. “My ranch can be measured in miles rather than acres. I have about twenty permanent drovers—a crew for the cattle, one for the horses, and another for taking care of the farming end of the business. My foreman, Pete Randall, is a very capable man. He’s as much friend as employee. I rely on him to take good care of things in my absence. His mother is my housekeeper. It’s interesting you should ask about the ranch. Lately I’ve been thinking Martha needs a helping hand around the house.”
Suzanna sipped her wine, and lifted her chin. “Another woman, perhaps, to ease some of the burden from Mrs. Randall?”
“Yes.” His direct gaze captured hers. He carefully laid his napkin on the table, crossed his forearms in front of him and leaned toward her. The scent of pine and soap drifted around him and filled her head. His face was so close, she could see the fine pores of his skin and the silver striations in his darkening gray eyes. Her breath hitched as his gaze bored into hers.
“I’ve been considering taking a wife.”
Chapter Five
Silence reigned in the room.
Suzanna’s heart stuttered, then froze.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Nathan and Annie share a conspiratorial glance. It was obvious they were all in this together.
Jake’s gaze never wavered. How did he expect her to reply? A wife, Mr. Cantrell? How nice, Mr. Cantrell. And have you any intention of considering me, Mr. Cantrell?
Of all the arrogant, self-centered… No, no, no, no, no—it wouldn’t do to let him see his arrow had hit the mark. She coolly raised a brow and met his stare.
“Yes, well, a wife would certainly change many things, I would imagine,” Suzanna cryptically remarked.
Annie and Nathan were stoically holding their breath. Taking pity lest they expire, she glanced directly into the faces of her companions one by one and held her counsel as they made a valiant effort to appear innocent. She was flattered by their concern, irritated by their interference. Chagrined, she pursed her lips, which immediately brought Jake’s attention to her mouth. She recognized that look. Sheer masculine lust. He smiled as if he would like to eat her.
Nathan may as well have put her on the block.
She was suddenly very angry and very tired. How dare they? Not attempting to hide her anger, she threw her napkin on the table, rose and kicked back her chair.
“Should I grin so that you can inspect my teeth? Perhaps I should raise my skirt so you can judge the strength of my conformation? I’m twenty-three, in good health, strong, and a good worker. Alas, I am poor, if that fact is of import, but I have always been able to care for my own needs. I would suppose the next words I hear will be ‘What am I bid?’ ” Shooting a quelling glare at the embarrassed Nathan, Suzanna trembled with the effort to retain her poise.
Jake guffawed and rose to face her, and his ill-timed laughter merely stoked her temper. She stood, chest heaving, deepening her glare, daring him to add fuel to the fire.
“It isn’t like that, Suzanna.” Annie reached for her arm. “We only thought…”
She shot Annie a chastising glance, and Annie dropped her hand, cutting off the remainder of her remark.
Suzanna’s attention returned to Jake, who stepped closer, invading the space surrounding her. As the room faded into the background, she was only vaguely aware of Annie’s mewl of distress. There was Jake and there was her, nothing else.
His gaze dropped to her shoulders, to her breasts, and lingered before measuring her waist, her hips, her legs. It was as if he could see the body hidden beneath her skirts. Heat bloomed in her cheeks as they faced each other nose to nose.
The arrogance of his perusal fueled her anger. At whom, she was not entirely certain. This man was entirely too sanguine. Too vain. Too self-assured. Too…everything.
A lady would have been insulted at the boldness of his gaze; to her surprise, she was not.
A lady would have objected to the suggestive meaning behind his words, the forward manners, the sensuality of his conversation.
A lady would have—but she, who was every inch a lady, did not.
Why?
Suddenly he reached for her hand and pressed a hot, moist kiss into her palm. “You”—his deep voice rumbled—“madam, are enchanting.”
He drew her closer, until the tips of her breasts brushed the hard ridges of his chest. Suzanna felt the whisper of his lips against her ear, and heat flooded her entire body. “I like a woman of spirit. We shall get along famously, you and I.”
Shocked, stunned, unable to utter a single, solitary word, she jerked from his embrace and tried with all her might to conjure the proper response.
A colossal failure.
This brash man assumed quite a lot, but she had to admit that, for the first time in a very long while, she felt alive again. As his steady gaze held hers, an amazing realization took hold.
He had yet to ask, and she had yet to accept, but it was as if her fate were already decided. Suzanna wanted to scream her refusal, rail against the highhanded way he had been insinuated into her life, but she did not. Instead, she stared into those silver eyes, drowning in their depths. Extraordinary. Expressive. Just now they sparkled with the light of a thousand stars and roved her face as if memorizing every feature.
His gaze offered himself, letting her search deep within, allowing her to see through to the heart of him, inviting her to explore his innermost person. In it she saw a different Jake. A man revealing himself, his vulnerabilities. A man alone and lonely. Wanting her, needing her, and by that very need offering to her the fulfillment of all she dreamed. Warm arms to keep her safe. Love and laughter to bring her joy. The hope of children to bless her days.
He no longer seemed adversarial. More a godsend.
Spent, Suzanna exhaled a heavy sigh. The sheltering walls of her comfortable home beckoned invitingly. Ideas about changes, new directions, possibilities and responsibilities—so much, so fast. She needed to slow down, to think. The entire evening had sapped her strength. She should put an end to this and be on her way.
Perhaps it was the stress or the uncertainty, but she couldn’t hide the resentment that everyone thought they knew better what she needed than she herself.
“Annie, some things are meant to remain as they are. I understand your intentions come from your love, but enough is enough. Thank you very much for putting your brother-in-law on the spot and embarrassing us all.
“You’ll have to forgive Annie, Jake. She’s on a mission to find me a husband. She and Nathan are convinced I can’t survive on my own.” She addressed the couple directly. “Which I can. I’m going to be perfectly all right whatever happens. I know this because nothing could be worse than what I’ve already experienced. I’m a strong woman. I can take care of myself.”
“That does not mean you should have to, Suzanna,” Jake said, taking her gently in his arms again. “Don’t be angry with Nathan and Annie. It was I who contacted my brother asking him to find me a suitable woman. Before you start another rant, think of this. The world can be a cruel and lonely place. You might find you like having a good man to warm you on a cold winter’s night. Somebody to talk to
at the end of a long day. A person to share your life, someone to give you sons and daughters. Nothing wrong with that.”
Hadn’t the same thought haunted her since the end of the war? Was it possible they wanted and needed the same things?
She’d given him the perfect out, and he’d ignored her. He must be serious about wanting her for a wife. Being thrown into the arms of a stranger was not the way she envisioned meeting her future husband. Yet she stayed. Rather than bidding everyone a good night and taking her leave at that moment, she stayed within the cocoon of his embrace, and a vision of her future scrolled through her mind. Sons, tall and strong like their father. Daughters, with silver-blonde hair and eyes flashing bright blue fire.
It was not such a horrible thought. Not at all.
Suzanna looked at Jake—really seeing him. This rough-and-tumble cowboy stirred something deep inside her—a flush of adrenaline rushed through her at the thought of sons and daughters begat by a man like him.
Before she could rein in her tongue, she asked in a halting voice, “What is it you want, Jake?”
Did he have any concept of how he affected her? Of what the tantalizing thought of the two of them sharing the marriage bed conjured in her heart? Could he comprehend the depth of her loneliness and desire? The longing that she kept locked away inside?
Down in the honest place where her soul lived and no lies were allowed, did he truly see?
One word was his answer: “You.”
It wasn’t enough. She needed to know more.
“You think a man and woman should come together for a warm bed, a tender touch, to make babies, and it should be enough of a reason to marry? What of love?”
Jake took a while to consider, but when he answered the candid expression in his eyes took Suzanna’s breath away. “You’re talking about infatuation. Or romance. I have little experience with either. Nothing wrong with romance, except that it tends to fade like flowers wilt at the end of a long, hot summer. To my way of thinking, love—the real kind of love—grows over time. It comes with living a life shared over good times and bad. Lots of folks mistake that first quick rush of attraction for love. Not that it doesn’t have its place, mind you. But if you’re talking about a durable kind of love—that comes with time, with trust proved often, with surviving the challenge of years.”
She had to admit his answer impressed her. He wasn’t as shallow as he appeared. Not at all. His words had the ring of thought and truth and conviction.
“That’s true, Jake. But a woman has a need to feel loved and cherished. If you fail to add that to the mix, the long-lasting love you describe won’t grow, and the marriage will prove to be little more than a lesson in endurance, resulting in regret and unhappiness. Be careful not to discount the importance of romance—for a woman or a man. It’s the connecting stitch in the tapestry of a life well lived.”
No one spoke or moved. As she stared at Jake, Suzanna wondered if his cynicism was the result of a love lost. Had he experienced the death of a romance that left him skeptical and bitter?
She had no way of knowing, but looking into the window of his soul, she realized there was more to the cowboy than first met the eye.
As his fingers tightened about her waist, he leaned in for a gentle kiss. “I thought you would have figured it out by now, Suzanna. I’ve come to make you my bride.”
Chapter Six
Sleep was slow in coming that night. Suzanna tossed to her left side, then her right. Pulled up the covers, then kicked them off. Finally, she lay on her back, arms and legs askew, and stared at the pressed tin ceiling.
I’ve come to make you my bride. The words echoed in her mind.
He wanted a wife. He wanted a mate. He wanted her the way a man wanted a woman, and he wanted her to know it. Jake Cantrell had come to meet and marry her at the behest of her dearest friends. End of story. At least that much had come out in the open after his astounding pronouncement.
She understood—truly she did. They’d said everything they could think of to justify meddling in her life. Nathan defended his actions: “Sending for Jake was a heartfelt attempt to make sure you are adequately cared for.”
If all she wanted was a man to look after her and sire her children, she could have married Julian. No. She wanted more. She wanted the romance, the courting, the fluttering heart, the heated blood, the desire, the passion. Something Jake had dismissed as unimportant.
She didn’t want an arranged marriage. She wanted to marry for love.
Jake had sat like a frog on a lily pad and made no other comments. Naturally. He’d already said everything he’d come to say. Likewise, Suzanna refused further discussion, and bid her friends goodnight with a thin-lipped smile. She had no idea what went on after she left, but she heard Annie’s pleading tones and Nathan’s deep rebuttals until she was out of earshot. Evidently Jake reacted with unusual reserve—she’d heard nary a word in his raspy baritone.
As the first rays of dawn cast shadows over her bed, Suzanna felt inclined to be completely and brutally honest with herself. Her temper diminished by the restless night, she allowed her practical side to enter the debate. If the war had taught her anything, it had taught her to examine all possibilities and discount none.
One, she wanted to marry a man who excited her. Jake certainly excited her. She could barely breathe around him. The handsome face, magnificent body, tantalizing scent, all made her heart race and her blood heat.
Two, she wanted a home, and according to Nathan and by his own admission, Jake could offer her one. She had no idea what home meant in terms of living in the wilds of Wyoming, but by all accounts at least one other woman survived there—his housekeeper, Martha Randall.
Three, she wanted a family—oh, Lord have mercy, there was no doubt about the answer to that one. He’d made that crystal clear at dinner. Babes of her own with their cherubic smiles and sweet baby smells was something she wanted more than life itself.
Four, she wanted adventure. No more politics and criminals. No more scraping by. As much as she loved her home, she’d had enough of enduring the remnants of a lost war and all that entailed. She wanted out. Wouldn’t moving thousands of miles away to a place she’d never seen, with a man she barely knew, constitute adventure?
And romance. She wanted romance in her life. To feel like a woman, and share a man’s bed and feel breathless and burn with desire and… She wanted to touch and be touched. Kiss and be kissed.
Was it too much to ask to give herself to a lover who would teach her the secrets of night, the pleasures of intimacy? She wanted a man to look at her the way Nathan looked at Annie even after years of marriage. Like she was everything, and his life would be nothing without her.
Would Jake Cantrell give her that?
He might belittle the role of romance, but she had to give the man credit. He had a crystal clear understanding of love as he defined it. And it was beautiful. In fact, it was romantic. Hearing him speak of it touched her heart. She could find no fault with what he’d said about a long-lasting love. How could she?
With those words, Jake had revealed a part of his heart that was personal and honest. He’d told her what she could expect as his wife. She sensed such revelations were a rarity for a man like Jake. He wasn’t the type to speak freely of his feelings, and she valued his words all the more because of it.
His name played a cadence in her mind. She could think of little else.
Jake…his touch, his mouth on hers, teaching her what it meant for a man and woman to love, to be by his side to build a future.
Jake…his hands on her body, making love, his seed taking root in her belly. His mouth, an anchor in the darkness as he introduced her to pleasure and intimacy.
Jake…his breath hot upon her skin. The promise of sharing the good and bad, the joy and sorrow, the most intimate moments of life as he whispered love words softly in her ear. The closeness, sharing, giving, taking. All of it. Was this the sort of husband he would be?
Jake…Jake…Jake… Thinking about him was driving her to distraction!
Suzanna had turned down her last best hope here in Alabama. There were no prospects. She also clearly understood that if she didn’t accept Jake, she could wind up a spinster—drinking tea and talking to cats for entertainment. Living out her days taking care of other women’s children.
What to do?
She flopped over on her lonely bed, Jake’s virile image and mocking laugh chasing her dreams. The sun was peeking over the treetops when she finally found a brief respite in an hour’s sleep.
Later she woke and splashed cold water on her face, more confused than ever. After a bread-and-butter breakfast, she walked over to Annie’s for a talk.
Everything was out in the open now. Jake hadn’t exactly said the words, “Will you marry me?” but there was no doubt of his intentions. He would expect an answer soon, and she needed to talk everything over with her friend before giving him her decision.
Annie met her on the porch with biscuits and tea. Inspecting the fine lines etched around Suzanna’s eyes and mouth, she perceptively inquired, “Did you sleep at all last night?”
Suzanna sighed. “Some. You and Nathan certainly put me in the pickle juice. What a night!” Lowering herself into a rocking chair, she sat sipping the fragrant liquid and taking in the beauty of the morning. She rocked on Annie’s porch, relaxing and dozing half in and half out of consciousness. A companionable silence soothed the rough edges of the last forty-eight hours.
“I’ll let you have a few minutes—you look as if you could use them.” Annie smiled and patted her hand. “I think I hear the baby. I’ll feed him while you rest.”
She rocked and sipped and dreamed in the warm morning sun. What to do, what to do?
A noise interrupted her reverie, and she jumped when she heard the door open and close behind her.
“It’s only me, Suzanna.” Nathan joined her on the porch. “I’m sorry about last night. It didn’t go quite as I’d planned. I want to apologize and talk to you before Jake comes around.”
A Necessary Woman Page 5
