She moved in to him and cradled his weight while he wrapped his giant arms around her. He quaked with grief, and she gathered him in her arms and stroked his head as silent sobs wracked his big body.
Realizing he tried not to unleash the depths of his anguish upon her, Suzanna ignored his futile attempt at control. She whispered his name, and crooned to him like a mother comforting a child with a lullaby. “Let it out, Jake. Don’t hold back. I’ve got you. Shh…I’ve got you.”
“I’m sorry, Suzanna…” His shoulders shuddered as he moaned, broken and undeniably embarrassed to be exposing his emotions in such an unmanly way. “I didn’t mean to do this. Forgive me.”
“Don’t apologize, Jake. The strong must grieve as well.” She stroked his arms softly. “I know what you’re feeling; I’ve been where you are. And I loved him, too. There is no shame in loving or in grieving the loss of someone you loved. He was blood of your blood; your pain is greater than ours. Nathan was the best of us—good, kind, and we’ll miss him so much. But this isn’t the end—we’ll carry him in our hearts always, and our world was a better place for having had him in it. Remember that. Remember him as a gift to us all.”
“My God. How do you do this? Bear the loss yourself, yet give such comfort?” He straightened, his strength returning, and ran his hands slowly up and down her arms. “Thank you. You know how special you are—to Annie and me? You are the one we can’t do without—the necessary one. Those were Nathan’s words. True words. You’re the glue holding us together through this nightmare, and I shudder to think how we would find our way through these dark times without your light to lead the way. Nathan loved you. He loved you and sent for me. It was almost as if he knew we should be together—I don’t know how, but he did. Thank God he did.”
He kissed her then. A worshipful kiss, without carnality. A sweet kiss full of gratitude and tenderness. A kiss of promise. As she melted into him, a sense of rightness and peace enveloped her. Her fear disappeared, replaced by a feeling of closeness, and the strength of his big body made her feel safe.
“Marry me in the morning? I swear to you I’ll be a good husband. I’ll take care of you and our children, be faithful. You’ll never want for anything. I don’t think I could live in a world without you in it. I wouldn’t want to.”
“Yes,” she sighed into his kiss. Strangers. And yet after all that had happened, she felt a bond forged between them. By will of God or capricious fate, they’d been brought to this place and time. Jason, gone. Nathan, gone. Annie, married, with a new life to build and a child to rear.
And her. In the arms of a man who offered her the fulfillment of her dreams. Peace settled deep in her bones. Peace and the assurance that their union was somehow foreordained.
This man was her future.
“I’ll meet you at the altar, Jake. We’ll find our way together.” He held her secure in his arms for a long, long while, then kissed her goodnight and returned to his room.
The warmth that flowed through her heart comforted her and calmed her fears. Jake said she was special, but he was the special one. She walked to the window, opened the sash, and leaned out into the sultry evening breeze.
Cool, moist air teased the hair around her heated cheeks. She breathed it in and let it out and with it went every negative thought and feeling. The clouds rolled in the distance, and she could smell rain in the air.
Hope filled her soul.
Nathan, if those in heaven can hear those left behind on earth, I want you to know Annie is well and cared for. And I want to thank you…thank you for Jake.
She slept.
Chapter Nine
Today was her wedding day.
Suzanna rolled over in her bed—Sunday morning dawned clear and bright. The pall that had lain over the entire community since Nathan’s death temporarily lifted. A wedding was due to take place—a joyous occasion. A celebration.
Suzanna heard David St. John’s voice from across the hall as he roused Jake and collected his valise. Then he knocked on Suzanna’s door. “Suzanna, if you have your bag ready, I’ll take it with Jake’s over to the church. It’s seven o’clock, so you have about forty-five minutes to get ready. Is that enough?” A long pause. “Yes…well. I’ll be back in thirty minutes and escort you, if that’s all right?”
“That will be fine, David. I’ll be ready,” she called and watched out the window as Jake and David carted their traveling baggage. Her heart was beating so fast it felt as if it would burst from her chest. Jake was as appealing from the rear as from the front.
When had her feelings toward him taken such an abrupt change? Two weeks ago, she’d been incensed at his declaration I’ve come to make you my bride.
Now, she was like any other maiden on her wedding day, filled with excitement and anticipation seasoned with a pinch of nerves.
He really was a fine specimen of a man.
Lord, have mercy. A thrill shivered through her—in a few short minutes, he would be hers and she would be free to touch and be touched. What would it be like to have a man explore the depths of her womanhood? The building warmth in her secret places spread throughout her body, and she grinned. Such naughty thoughts—she should feel ashamed. But not today—today she would be a bride, and marry an extremely handsome groom.
As the two men walked down the street, it seemed everyone in town was on their way to the ceremony. She watched them laugh and call to the well-wishers. How she loved these people who had been her friends and neighbors all her life. They’d shared the best of times and the worst of times, and now one of their own was beginning a new chapter in her life, and they all wanted to be a part of it.
She glanced toward the church in the distance. If a bush or flower was green or blooming, it had found its way to the church. Her friends and neighbors had overextended themselves to make her unusual wedding a beautiful one. Her heart lifted. In spite of recent events, she felt hope warming her blood for the first time in years.
Suzanna glanced in the mirror. Her dress outlined her body—a pale gray silk piped with silver. A lace morning jacket and modest hat completed her outfit. She twirled—pleased with her reflection. Would Jake think her beautiful?
The ensemble was elegant and understated, as befitting a wedding under such extraordinary circumstances. Her brightly burnished hair hung in a long curl down her shoulder, and her mother’s tiny black jet earrings danced from the lobes of her ears. She felt beautiful and desirable—and wanted to be—for Jake. Last night he’d opened his soul to her; and she’d opened her heart to him. Could it be love? She couldn’t say, but it was a precious gift, and she didn’t want to disappoint him.
David knocked on her door at seven forty-five sharp, and smiled in appreciation when he saw her.
“You’re going to take Jake’s breath away when he sees you, Miss Worthington,” he formally addressed her with a teasing smile and twinkling eyes.
“That’s the point, Mr. St. John. Shall we go?” she saucily replied.
When they reached the church, she saw him. Her breath caught in her throat and her fingers tightened on St. John’s arm.
Jake—her mountain of a man—stood at the front of the sanctuary beside the pastor. Eyes searching the vestibule, his smile broke like the morning sun over the horizon when he spied her, his piercing gaze focused on her as she walked toward him. Head up, shoulders back, she refused to let nerves chase the joy from her heart.
She concentrated all her attention on Jake.
What an imposing figure in his handsome morning coat. Broad shoulders, broad enough to carry the weight of all their troubles these past few weeks. Strong arms, strong enough to hold her and protect her no matter what came their way. Lean waist, long legs—she bit back a smile as she took him in.
The closer she got, the easier it was to read his expression. A soft burn darkened his eyes as he smiled. Suzanna felt an answering warmth flood her face and saw him grin at her reaction. Hands patiently crossed in front of his belt, he adjusted his
stance as he waited for her to reach him. The butterflies returned—hundreds of them, flapping their wings, fluttering in her chest, playing hopscotch in her belly.
His grin grew into a full-blown smile as the morning sun cast yellow rays through the glass, and he held out one hand, clasping her shaking fingers in his granite grip. His gaze, silver and steady, held hers in silent testament of his regard. Without a word, he told her he was ready to take a wife. Her, as wife. He winked, squeezed her hand, and drew her arm into the crook of his.
Together, they turned to face the pastor.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered now in the sight of God and man, to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony…” The words spoken through the ages by men and women committing their lives to each echoed as if from a distance. She answered in the affirmative and managed to speak the correct responses to the prompts. At the final pronouncement, Jake’s smile warmed her entire face as he bent to touch his lips to hers and sealed their vow.
A beautiful moment. One to cherish for a lifetime.
And it was done. Suzanna and Jake were husband and wife. If this wasn’t love, it was a pretty close imitation of it, and as he lifted his mouth, she impulsively stood on tiptoe to press another peck on his lips.
It pleased him—she could tell.
The congregation erupted in shouts and whistles and whoops, just as two short blasts blew from the big, black locomotive building up steam on the tracks. The train was ready to leave and take them to a new life in a new place. Suzanna’s heart welled with joy, and with the fervent prayer that all would go well in her future.
They ran from the church, followed by the friends of her youth. Tears filled her eyes as she realized how much she’d miss them all—but especially Annie.
“Write me,” her friend called as they boarded the train and waved goodbye. Julian was there with Missy. Her mother’s best friend, Dorothy. The men and women who had colored the picture of her life. So many good times; so much tragedy and heartbreak. It was overwhelming, and a soft sob escaped her lips.
Jake squeezed her waist, and she glanced up at him with a sheepish smile.
“Can you see Annie?” she asked.
“There.” He pointed.
Suzanna strained to find Annie, who held little Jeremiah, bravely keeping a smile on her face. Her lips trembled with the effort to hold back her tears, and she clung to the arm of David St. John.
Suzanna was suddenly overcome with the conviction that all would work out between them. In time. She waved and mouthed an “I love you” just for Annie who pumped the baby’s little arm in farewell.
The big iron wheels rolled into motion and steam clouded the windows, shutting them in their own private world. The journey began.
Jake settled her on a seat, his broad shoulders straining against hers, and heaved an enormous sigh. A giant burden had been lifted. Suzanna was struck again with the thought of the support he’d offered throughout Nathan’s death and funeral. Not to mention two weddings. She inched her arm through his and leaned against him.
“You’re glad to be going home?” she asked, sensing the shift in his mood.
“More than you know, Mrs. Cantrell,” he answered, and patted the hand resting on his arm.
Mrs. Cantrell.
That’s who she was now. Mrs. Jake Cantrell. So much had happened in so short a time, it had her head spinning like a top. What else would the future bring? A tiny shiver traveled up her spine—she’d wanted adventure. It appeared someone had been listening and granted her wish.
Delighted with the sound of her new name, Suzanna flashed her dimples, and Jake grinned in return. He leaned down and touched his mouth to hers. They would have little or no privacy on the trip to Wyoming, but they were alone in the railcar just now, and it was an opportune time to steal a kiss or two.
Suzanna was enthralled with the sights passing by her window as they traveled along the rails. She squirmed in excitement and exclaimed at the beauty of the hills and mountains, and the quaint villages and farms along the way. Jake laughed at the expression of pure joy on her face as, mile after mile, she pointed out strange and beautiful images.
“Are you making fun of me, husband?” she challenged as she elbowed him in the ribs to make him stop.
“Not at all, wife. I’m charmed by your enthusiasm. It’s enchanting.” Again, he favored her with a kiss, each one hinting of the passions he held in restraint.
Passing towns revealed their own unique flavor, and Suzanna ignored the arduous days and nights to absorb the diversity and color of the sights. The days dwindled down as they made their way across the country. Soon they would be home. Her new life would begin. Her married life would begin.
Jake leaned down to touch her forehead with a light kiss. He often referred to her by her married name, as if he were staking his claim or reminding her that she now belonged to him. Not that anyone seeing them would doubt they were man and wife. The constant liberties he took in touching her, kissing her, and monopolizing her attention made it apparent to all around them to whom she belonged. They were on their honeymoon, and they enjoyed the indulgent smiles and occasional congratulations of their fellow passengers.
“This is our last night of travel, Mrs. Cantrell. I thought the trip would exhaust you, but I was wrong. You’ve enjoyed it, haven’t you?”
“More than you know. There’s been so much to see. I never realized how different our country is, how each part expresses its own character, from the natural scenery to the towns and people.”
The traveling car was dark that last night. The other passengers slept, leaving them in partial privacy. Her husband took his opportunity to trace his forefinger along the line of her face, her delicate jaw, high cheekbone, soft lips. When his finger reached her chin, he lifted her face, and brushed her mouth in a gentle kiss.
“Are you all right?” Jake asked.
She nodded. “It’s just that every bone in my body aches from the incessant vibration of this train. I’ll be glad to reach Laramie.”
His hands moved to her shoulders, and he kneaded her aching muscles. She moved into his touch, moaning with the relief his fingers brought. Around her neck, down her spine, and to each muscle between, his thumbs dug into each sore spot. It was wonderful.
“One more night, Suzanna,” he growled under his breath, as she sat back with the heat of anticipation tingling in the pit of her stomach. “One more night on this damned train, and then I will make you mine,” he promised.
She leaned her head back on his arm and closed her eyes as he pressed a kiss to her throat.
“Jake, we can’t. Not here,” she protested.
“Shh. No one can see.” And he continued to touch and tease and arouse.
Suzanna squirmed. “Jake…”
“Kiss me, Suzanna,” he demanded, as his mouth quieted her protests. And she did.
When they broke apart, she cautioned him with a look.
Growling under his breath, he moved away, his face hard with desire. Jake was not accustomed to being denied. But she was too modest to allow a public display. Suzanna put an appeasing hand on his arm, and he shot her a rueful glance and squirmed on the hard seat. She bit back a smile.
They would soon be home.
Chapter Ten
Laramie City. Suzanna’s first impression was of a dusty town, new and raw and totally different from anything she’d ever seen.
As the train approached, Jake pointed out places of interest and explained a bit of its history. Located at the confluence of the Platte and Laramie Rivers, fueled by the economy of the railroad and the raising of livestock, the city was hard and tough, like the people who settled there. Merchants and tradesmen migrated to the town from Fort Laramie, which sat just to the north and east of the city itself. Moneyed cattle barons had bought up the prairie by the mile and now supplied beef, oats, and wheat to towns along the Union and Pacific tracks.
The locomotive spewed a giant cloud of steam as it rolled to a stop. S
he gathered her belongings and leaned on Jake as he helped her to the platform. All of Main Street—from one end to the other—could be seen from the station depot, and Suzanna stared at her new home through stinging whirlagigs and a dusty haze blown by hot western winds.
She viewed the town from the train platform. The noise and smell was almost more than she could bear. Jake watched the expression on Suzanna’s face, and after the short time they’d known each other, recognized her valiant attempt to hide the dismay behind her frozen features.
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” he encouraged. “You can get almost anything you need here in town. We have a passable hotel with a dining room, and there’s a mercantile, livery, doctor’s office, church, even a sheriff.” Jake pointed out the location of each one as he named them.
“No school?” she queried.
Jake shook his head. “Not many families yet; only a few children. There aren’t enough women around for the men to find wives. Every now and then a group of single ladies will come to marry via contract arrangements, mail-order brides. I told you they were common out here. Still, men far outnumber women, so children and schools have yet to come.”
A tall, lean but muscled man approached the platform. He stopped in front of them and removed a well-worn Stetson as his head bobbed politely to Suzanna. Shaggy brown hair grew from beneath his wide-brimmed hat, and he had the darkest blue eyes Suzanna had ever seen. He was a nice-looking man, with a warm and friendly face.
He stared at her for a moment, as if taken aback, then nodded in her direction.
“Boss. I’ve got the supplies you ordered loaded on the wagon. Soon as I get your bags, we’ll be ready to head out to the ranch.”
Jake shook the man’s hand, and took her elbow. “This is my foreman, Suzanna, Pete Randall. He handles the supervision of the day-to-day operations of the ranch. He took care of things for us in my absence. Pete’s been with me for several years, and we’re as much friends as employer and employee—right, Pete?”
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