Jake sat across from them, surprised to be enjoying the sight of his wife with the baby. He’d thought to play a part. To pretend to accept the child, to love him, and convince Suzanna to return to him. Perhaps he wouldn’t have to act. The feelings he experienced didn’t feel pretend at all. They felt real.
The baby would sleep for a few hours at least, and they took him upstairs.
“Hold on.” Jake paused in the bedroom. He emptied a drawer and folded a soft, worn quilt in the bottom and up the sides. “This might do for tonight. Tomorrow I’ll see if one of the families with older children can contribute a cradle. What do you think?”
“The drawer will work fine for tonight.” Suzanna put the baby gently into his makeshift bed.
“You’re trying pretty hard, Jake. But I can spot a fraud a mile away. I asked for time. I didn’t mean only a few hours.”
“You wound me, Suzanna. I know exactly what you meant.” Turning his back to her, he started to strip. His wife was as enamored of his body as he was of hers. While Jake remembered every word Suzanna had said and intended to keep their bargain, he wasn’t above playing dirty. This was a battle, and he intended to use every strategy at his disposal to restore the harmony of their relationship.
He’d been her husband long enough to know what she liked, and he combed his fingers through his hair. Why the gesture should tempt her, he hadn’t a clue. For whatever reason, she loved to run her fingers through his hair, often commenting on her affection for it.
She pretended not to notice. He pretended not to notice she was watching. She’d said she loved his hair, that it was one of the things that first attracted her to him. So he used it to gain her attention.
He’d promised to wait until she asked him to resume husbandly duties. He didn’t promise not to try and move her timeline along a bit. Jake was not a man above contrived seduction, and so he began.
After taking his time unbuttoning his shirt, Jake pulled off one sleeve, then the other and walked slowly over to the chair, and dropped the shirt with casual deliberation. Was it his imagination, or had he heard a tiny gasp?
Rolling his shoulders and flexing the muscles in his back, he breathed a deep sigh, guaranteeing she’d focus on him. Stretching as if to relieve tension, he preened. Just one glance at her made his blood run hot. She’d not admit it, but the energy sparking through the air proved she was not indifferent.
How do you like that, Suzanna?
Though his back was turned, he could feel the heat of her gaze. As much as she tried to ignore it, she delighted in his body, so he would use it. He wanted her in his bed. He’d not married her to sleep alone—regardless of the affront.
Encouraged by her gasp, he unbuttoned the top button of his trousers and left the fly lightly open, so they rode low on his hips. Walking to the dry sink, he poured water into the bowl, took a towel and wet it, and held it to his face. Through the thin cloth he could see her reflection in the mirror.
Nothing. Not a word. But her gaze blazed hot and he could feel the heat of it on his back.
He rubbed the towel on his face, down his arms, and over the ridges of his chest. Her eyes followed every move.
He unbuttoned the remainder of the buttons on his fly. A soft, repressed groan came from the lips of his wife.
Almost. He almost had her.
When he pushed his trousers down his thighs, she whirled abruptly to face the far wall. Jake suppressed a grin.
****
Suzanna wanted to complain but couldn’t without giving herself away. The scoundrel knew she’d been watching him. His little seduction game was a bit obvious, but nonetheless effective. His actions heated her blood and made her heart flutter. He was so handsome, so beautifully made, so male. So irresistible.
But she wasn’t giving in this soon.
Still, all’s fair in love and war, and she knew exactly what he was doing. Wooing her. Using his body and the desire she felt for him to win himself back into her good graces. So typically male. It always came down to the bit of heaven that dangled between their legs. They were preoccupied with it, thought it could solve every problem.
He wanted to love her out of her anger?
Two could play this game. If he wasn’t going to play fair, neither would she.
Suzanna’s hand shook as she fumbled with the small buttons on her dress. She made no effort to hide but kept her back to him as she dropped her dress to the floor. Corset, chemise, and pantaloons followed until she was as naked as he. Slowly she bent to pick up her clothing, and Jake bit down on a gasp.
How many times had he commented on the beauty of her body? Let him see what his perfidy denied him. He initiated this game; let him suffer the consequences.
He took a step closer, enough that she felt his warmth as he drank in the round softness of her bottom he so loved to caress, the brief glimpse of her sex that drove him insane with desire. It was going to take him a long time tonight to go to sleep.
She reached for her night clothes. The gossamer nightgown fell over her head to the floor. Stepping in front of the soft rays cast by the globes of the bedside lamp, she let him see the outline of breast, hip, and leg.
“Suzanna…” Her name became a long, low groan from the depths of his wanting. His hand shook as he reached for her.
“Jake,” she protested quietly, not ready to forgive him just yet. “Put your long johns back on. I may sleep in your bed, but I won’t have you naked beside me.” The desire in his eyes, the hard tension sculpting his face, the jutting evidence of his arousal was almost too much to bear.
Crawling beneath the covers, she presented her back to him. The mattress sagged with his weight as he sat on the edge of the bed and waited for her to say or do something. As much as she yearned for him, she fought the urge to touch him, to signal her forgiveness and the end to their game.
She thought she’d won; she was wrong. The game was a draw. Jake wasn’t the only one who would find it hard to sleep tonight.
****
The baby woke about two. Suzanna threw on her wrapper and went to pick him up.
Jake growled low from the bed, “What’s the matter?” He rolled over to see what was happening.
Suzanna whispered, “He’s hungry and wet.” She unwrapped him and quickly removed his soiled diaper. When she did, the baby squirted her and she jumped back, barely missed by the stream of urine.
“He peed on me!” she squealed, laughing.
Jake chuckled. “They’ll do it every time. You get him changed. I’ll get some milk.”
His offer to help surprised her. The man was making a supreme effort to please her. She stared at him as if he’d grown two heads. Was he going to leave the room as naked as the day he was born?
Suzanna clucked in consternation. Did the man never wear clothes? “Put your pants on, Jake. If Martha is about, you’ll scare her to death.”
“She’s seen me in the altogether before.”
“Not as a grown man, I’ll wager,” she drily remarked.
“Impressive sight, isn’t it?” he teased, as she raised one brow and crooked one side of her mouth. He complied with a wolfish grin and a chuckle.
“What’s the matter, Suzanna? Tempted?”
No answer. He laughed as he left the room.
Jake returned with the bowl and another handkerchief. “How long will we have to do this?” he asked.
“From the size of him, he looks to be about four weeks old. He’ll sleep better if he doesn’t get hungry. I’ll have to find a way to get more milk into his tummy, maybe grind some oat solids fine enough for him to digest them. I would guess about two more weeks, maybe more.”
“Weeks?” Jake groused. “I’m partial to sleeping at night. Think we could push it some?”
Suzanna looked askance at Jake. “Complaining so soon, Daddy?”
“Harrumph!” he replied and sat in a chair watching her feed the baby. The tiny mouth sucked greedily on the cloth tit, grunting in contentment as his belly fill
ed. Finally, with the child dry and fed, they settled down on the bed to try and catch some sleep before the day began at sun-up.
“Shouldn’t we name him?” Jake asked in the dark stillness.
Suzanna rolled to face him, her cheeks resting on her joined palms. “It would be awkward to call him ‘Baby’ all his life. My father was named Charles. What was your father’s named?”
Jake wasn’t sure he wanted his son named for his father. “How about Nathan?” he suggested. “Charles Nathan Cantrell. I like the sound of that. How about you?”
“Such a big name for such a little man. We could call him Charlie.” Their feud temporarily forgotten, Suzanna smiled at her husband. “I like the name Charlie. It fits him.”
“Then Charlie it is.” He mirrored her smile. Turning toward the makeshift bed that held his son, speaking quietly so as not to wake the baby, he whispered, “Goodnight, Charlie.”
Suzanna stared at him for the longest time, until Jake finally asked, “What?”
“You present me with a conundrum. I don’t want to forgive you. I want to hate you for what you did. Then you do something nice, like my Jake, the man I fell in love with, the man I married. How am I to deal with you?”
“Stop thinking of me as if I’m the enemy. I’m aware what I did was wrong, and I never claimed to be perfect. I’m sorry. I’d change it if I could, but every time we hear the baby cry, we’re reminded that’s not possible. I want you to love me, Suzanna, because I love you. More than my own life. You smiled at me that first day, and I was done. You wrapped me around your beautiful fingers and taught me how to love in return. I’m not the same man as before. I’m a better man now—because of you.”
The biggest part of loving was forgiving. As jealous as she was of what he’d shared with an unknown Indian woman, she realized a simple truth, that she loved him too much to leave him. And he loved her too much to let her go.
She whispered in the silence, “It’s too soon. Give me time, a chance to absorb this. Stop worrying. I said I wouldn’t leave you. But I’m not ready to be your wife again. Not just yet. Let’s get Charlie settled, give him a chance to get used to his surroundings. Just, please, don’t rush me.”
“All right. But I’m not going to pretend I don’t want you, and I won’t stop trying to convince you that Charlie doesn’t have to tear us apart. I know all three of us need a period of adjustment. We’ll take it a day at a time. It’s going to work out, you’ll see.”
Lacing his fingers with hers, he said goodnight, leaving her with a lot to think about.
Suzanna lay beside him until he was sound asleep. His beautiful hair fell over his forehead, and he looked as innocent as Charlie as his lips puckered in a gentle snore. Dear Lord, she loved him and wanted him, regardless of what he’d done.
Whatever the future might bring, Charlie was Jake’s—and hers. The only way to travel was forward.
Chapter Eighteen
Suzanna wasn’t the only person put out with Jake. Everywhere he looked, he got dirty looks and short answers. He’d about had his fill. He was the boss, after all.
“What?” Jake barked at his foreman, getting in Pete’s reddening face. “You got something to say? You in love with my wife too? Everyone on this damn ranch seems to be, and they’ve made no secret they’re siding with her in this mess. I’ve a good mind to fire you, every damn one of you.” They had met on the back porch just as Pete was coming for coffee with his mother.
Pete huffed. “Jake, you’re an ass. If you weren’t in so much trouble right now, I’d take you on for sure. In love with Suzanna? Hell, man, everyone who knows her is in love with her. There’s no way not to love her. You got no idea what you have, and the way you’re acting now, you sure as hell don’t deserve her. You screwed up, man. You ought to be thanking your lucky stars she hasn’t packed her bags already. She’s a good woman, and she’s trying to do the right thing. You ought to be on your knees, begging her forgiveness. Best watch your step. Better men than me will be watching how you handle this situation. With Suzanna and your baby.”
“You forget who you’re talking to, Pete. I can fire you at a moment’s notice.”
“Then do it. I can find work anywhere in the territory. You think I’m afraid of losing my job? You’re dumber than I thought. Get your shit together, friend. You lose her? She won’t be alone for long. Recognize this?” He pulled a broken eagle’s feather out of his pocket and threw it at Jake’s feet.
Black Hawk. Her should have been long gone by now.
“Even the Indian wants your wife,” Pete sneered.
“Where did you find it?” Jake spat.
“Same place. At the school. Take care, my foolish friend.”
“Get the hell off my porch!” Jake ground out.
“With pleasure.” Pete took the three steps down, and Jake noticed six big cowboys, hats off, glaring.
Suzanna was his wife, by damn, and what was between them was no business of anyone else. It galled him to know if he didn’t do right by her, he’d have a mutiny on his hands.
And Black Hawk? He’d have to post an extra watch.
“You men got any work to do?” he bellowed. “You have time to stand around staring, I don’t need you.” He glared right back in their faces. One by one they left, but not without grumbled warnings to take care of business.
He should apologize and quit acting like a fool. And he didn’t blame Pete. After all, he’d fallen for Suzanna the minute he laid eyes on her in Nathan’s parlor. No, before that. When he’d seen the wind blowing her shirtwaist about her body that day in her yard. She took his breath away. He’d wanted her then as much as he wanted her now. That she had no clue the effect she had on others made her even more desirable. Men and women alike fell under her spell. Somehow he had to make this right.
He wasn’t the only one who needed Suzanna—she’d become as necessary as the sun and rain to all of them.
The following days followed the same pattern. The men continued to avoid him. Pete and Martha addressed him only if absolutely necessary. Disapproval laced their cursory words. Suzanna, bless her, continued to try and make the best of things. She was distant but polite, occupied with the baby and falling more deeply in love with him each moment.
The awkwardness between them remained. Perhaps with time it would ease. Forgiving was one thing, forgetting was another. Her words, not his.
As the weeks passed, his wife divided her time between Charlie, the needs of his people, and preparations for the new school. Jake was relegated somewhat further down the list—if he was on the list at all.
A grown man shouldn’t pout, but Suzanna had spoiled him. Now, the only quality time he spent with her was at the dinner table. Even then, they were seldom alone. Pete and Martha frequently joined them, no doubt at Suzanna’s invitation. A device she employed to provide distance. It was obvious she didn’t want to be alone with him yet.
He stood it as long as he could. Each night he found a way to brush her arm or touch her as he shifted in bed. Once, he woke to find her snuggled next to his back for warmth, the ripe fullness of her breasts pressing his back, her sweet scent tempting him to turn and take her in his arms. So far, he’d maintained his control, and she hadn’t asked him to make love to her. He cursed himself for agreeing to wait her out. It was damned hard to have her near and not be able to love her.
Charlie proved to be a sweet child—happy and good-natured. The only time he cried was when he was hungry or wet. Suzanna cooed to the baby, and the baby cooed to her. When the baby gave her his first smile, Jake claimed it was gas. But Suzanna knew better.
He tried to spend time with them each night before he retired to his office. Suzanna played with Charlie and Jake watched motherhood cast a glow on Suzanna’s features that made her more beautiful than ever, if that were possible. She thrived on the attention of the child, and at times they seemed to be in a world by themselves. She was happy.
Each day, he grew more impatient to have her in his
arms.
“Jake, would you please hold Charlie while I get some coffee?” Suzanna asked one evening, after they’d eaten and settled in the parlor.
“Uh-uh. Give him to Martha. He’s too little. I might break him. I don’t know what to do with the boy,” Jake groused.
“You don’t have to do anything. Just hold him on your lap, and try a smile or two. Come on. Charlie wants his daddy, don’t you, Charlie,” she cajoled them both.
No reaction.
“Jake?” Suzanna prompted, drawing out his name, a tiny bit of the old Suzanna flavoring her drawling tongue. The flirty voice. The warm tone he couldn’t refuse. The kick below the belt.
He stared as his son grasped Suzanna’s dress in tiny fingers, his eyes wide, an uncertain grin shining through the drool. The boy seemed to be leaking from one end or the other all the time, and he never saw Suzanna anymore without the little monkey holding on to her. Tonight her expression was so hopeful, he didn’t have the heart to say no.
No sooner had he taken the baby than Charlie turned fretful in his arms. The baby stared solemnly into his father’s eyes and screwed up his little face as if to cry, his bottom lip quivering and puckered
Jake readied himself for the squalling to begin. The little fellow didn’t feel at home in his big grip. So he jiggled him gently up and down.
“Don’t have much use for your old man, huh, son?” he soothed. “You’re not the only one. Everyone takes to you just fine, which makes no sense to me. I’m the one who got you here. You’d think they’d all be congratulating me, not treating me like a pariah.”
The baby’s eyes focused on Jake’s face. One end of his little mouth crooked up into a tentative smile as his father continued to talk to him in a soothing rumble. The beginnings of a giggle escaped the little guy’s mouth and startled them both.
For a while father and son watched each other, each taking the other’s measure. The next minute, Charlie screwed up his little face and let loose as if the hounds of Hades chased him.
Suzanna came running back into the room. “Charlie, that’s no way to treat your father. He’ll think you don’t like him, and he’s very sensitive about that. Now, give him a little attention, all right? Do it for Mommy?” She nudged Jake’s shoulder, and he began to jiggle the baby again to quiet the lad. The crying stopped, and again the uncertain smile crossed his lips.
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