by Joanne Rock
Pulling the throw blanket from the back of the love seat over her lap, Jillian scanned the luxurious bedroom suite, complete with king-size bed near windows that led out onto a balcony overlooking the swimming pool and a courtyard. The sunken sitting area had a gas fireplace, and Cody had carefully placed the TV remote on a table within easy reach for her, along with a pitcher of water, a crystal glass, an ice bucket and her cell phone.
A few feet away, he’d crowded a side table with platters of snacks in case she got hungry while he was gone. As if that was possible after the huge, multicourse meal he’d made in short order downstairs. She couldn’t possibly eat a strip steak and a whole chicken breast, but they were both delicious and she’d eaten more than she thought she would. Vegetables in a rainbow of colors had filled the rest of her plate; the meal was about as close to the doctor-recommended guidelines for her diet as possible.
Cody’s every action told her how much he wanted this baby. How important it was to him to keep her safe. Healthy. It was important to her, too. But she understood that cancer was indiscriminate. That she could take every precaution, follow every guideline on those doctors’ lists and still have a recurrence. That was why she couldn’t fall into that trap. She refused to play that game where she sacrificed her dreams to cater to her disease’s every whim, only to be beaten by the illness in the end.
Grabbing her cell phone, she punched in the phone number she already should have called.
“Hello?” On the other end, her boss—the woman she answered to directly—sounded flustered. Busy.
In the background, Jillian could hear the wail of an infant. The clatter of dishes and running water.
“Hi, Alyssa, it’s Jillian. I hope it’s not a bad time.”
“Not at all. Just trying to get the kidlets to bed before Todd gets home from tennis.” Alyssa must have put the phone on speaker because there was some interference, and the noise on her end got louder. “Guys, what do we say to Miss Jillian?”
Alyssa’s two girls shrieked, “Hi, Miss Jillian!” at earsplitting volume. A moment later, the baby greeted her with a happy gurgling sound.
“Go to bed for Mom, munchkins, and I’ll bring you a prize home from cowboy country.” Jillian had gotten to know Alyssa during her chemo treatments. Her boss’s eldest son suffered severe rheumatoid arthritis that required chemo, too.
Jack had been fun company during those dark months, his outlook never down in all the times they’d shared a waiting room or a recovery area afterward.
The two little girls squealed some more until Alyssa took the phone off speaker. She must have chased the kids into their beds because it got quiet again.
“How’s Jack?” Jillian asked, while Alyssa worked her mom magic with the baby.
In the background, a soft lullaby began playing before her boss responded.
“He’s good. Tired from getting back to school after those weeks we had him out with a flare-up, but you know Jack. He keeps going.”
“I’m glad he’s back at school. I know how much it means to him to feel normal.” Jillian remembered what an inspiration the boy had been. He had his own list of life adventures—most of which were far more interesting than hers. She’d laughed so hard when he told her that he was adding Ride a Lawn Mower to School to his list. Thinking about that made her all the more confident in her own decision to keep moving forward. “I’m sorry I didn’t check in yesterday. But I think I’ve got everything in order here for filming to begin. What’s my next assignment?”
She took notes while Alyssa reeled off a handful of locations that needed scouting, letting Jillian weigh in on what possibilities sounded the most promising, allowing her to choose her next destination.
Flagstaff or the Pacific Northwest?
She’d never seen the Grand Canyon, and it was on her list. She didn’t need to pull it up to know. So, to honor the spirit of adventure that had helped her to conquer cancer the first time, Jillian accepted the Flagstaff scouting job.
After disconnecting the call, the burn in her throat started, the precursor to tears she knew were coming. She didn’t want to upset Cody, but she also couldn’t afford to stay here and let herself fall the rest of the way in love with him. That last night they’d spent together had rattled her emotions too much already, stirring deep feelings for a man who had looked to her for only a temporary diversion.
She couldn’t be another responsibility on his list. This week, they’d hash out a plan for co-parenting. But after that, she needed to move on. Maintaining her independence was more important than ever. If the only legacy she could give her child was the knowledge that she hadn’t let cancer keep her down, that she’d chosen to embrace life every moment, that was something Jillian could be proud of.
* * *
Cody stood in his parents’ small living room, staring out the front window at his siblings’ vehicles. Two had arrived on horseback, their animals tied to the front porch rail as if the house was a saloon in some old Western flick. No wonder Jillian thought a movie ought to be shot here.
Behind Brock’s quarter horse and Maisie’s spirited Appaloosa, their father’s ATV sat beside Maddy’s brand-new sports car. On the grass in the side field he could see Carson’s pickup truck parked beside his own. They’d both bought the same model year—one gray, one black—within days of each other. Seeing the trucks side by side made Cody shake his head. He might scoff at being anything like his twin, but the similarities came out in those kinds of choices.
Proving you didn’t escape family.
He glanced across the living room at his twin now, grateful Carson had put in an appearance when their father had asked for them all to be here. Their dad paced in the kitchen, waiting for Scarlett to arrive. Maisie and Maddy were in their mother’s bedroom at Dad’s request, looking around to see if they noticed anything missing. Cody was anxious to get the family meeting underway because, while he was concerned about his stepmother’s whereabouts, his thoughts were preoccupied by Jillian and her pregnancy. They hadn’t even scratched the surface of all they needed to discuss. His brain was working a mile a minute thinking through plans. Moving her to Wyoming. Helping her settle in.
Asking her to marry him. He didn’t want to rush her, but that had to be a consideration. He didn’t plan to have his child come into the world without the security that marriage brought to a family.
“Are you sure we shouldn’t call the police?” Brock asked from his corner of the sofa, drawing Cody’s attention back to the current situation. His brother was cracking pistachio nuts over a bowl in the far corner of the living room, his eyes on the TV, which was muted and tuned to a baseball game.
Brock had a knack for appearing unconcerned. Unflappable. But Cody knew he did stuff like that—pour the nuts, watch the game—to distract himself from the tense energy that tended to spark at all their family gatherings.
“And say what? My wife didn’t make dinner tonight?” Dad quit pacing and filled the coffeepot with water. “I saw her at breakfast this morning, and you know as well as I do they aren’t going to do anything until she’s been missing at least twenty-four hours.”
Cody guessed the real reason he didn’t call the police was that he had a long-standing gripe with the local sheriff. But then, their father had never been an easy man to deal with. He had feuds with half of Laramie County.
“Here’s Scarlett,” Carson announced, getting to his feet as he looked out the window from behind Cody.
Cody watched a Mercedes limo pull up to the house. It had to be their grandfather’s car. No one else rode around town in one of those. He hoped his dad wouldn’t notice.
Maisie and Maddy emerged from the opposite end of the house. “I don’t see anything out of place,” Maisie told them. “Her suitcase is still here and there are no clothes or jewelry noticeably gone.”
Impatient for their father to fill them in on what the
hell was going on, Cody moved to the front door and opened it for Scarlett. Behind her, the limo drove away, its taillights disappearing up the access road.
“Nice ride,” he muttered, but he tugged one of her curls as he said it. “Good to have you back.”
A few minutes later they were all seated around the living room of what had been the foreman’s quarters, a home Donovan had insisted on taking over once he gave the ranch duties to Cody. Brock ran his quarter horse breeding business primarily out of Creek Spill and had a home on the property. Maddy stayed at the White Canyon these days. Scarlett had a house at Black Creek and Maisie had built a tiny cabin for herself down at the creek’s edge even though there was more than enough room for her at the main house.
They were a family, yes. But they’d all chosen their own niches, and carefully protected their space. It seemed to work well enough for everyone except Scarlett, who was chafing to move away. And maybe Carson, who was stuck in Cheyenne after his rodeo dreams had ended.
Their father cleared his throat. He was sitting on the edge of an old desk he’d been refurbishing in his spare time.
“I last saw Paige at breakfast this morning. You all know I’ve been concerned about her researching trips, when she’s never expressed a desire to travel.” He kept his phone clutched tightly in one hand, the only sign that he was upset. “Paige packed me a lunch, just like always, in case I had work in one of the far fields.”
Cody thought about his stepmother’s marriage to his father. She was much younger than Donovan, and he had never been an easy man to live with. Could she have decided to leave him?
She didn’t have much family. Her parents had died in a car crash when she was a teen and she’d been on her own ever since. She’d been working in a bar in Cheyenne when she met Cody’s father and started as a nanny to Cody, Carson and Brock after their mother’s death.
“I called her at lunchtime and she didn’t answer. She hasn’t responded to my text messages all day. The car was gone when I got home for supper. I hoped maybe she forgot to pick up something for dinner and went to the store. But now I’m worried.”
“Have you called any of her girlfriends?” Madeline asked. When her father shook his head, she volunteered to do that.
“What about family?” Scarlett asked.
They all stared at her.
“What?” She shrugged, picking at the flowers embroidered on the hem of her black skirt. “Just because she wasn’t close with them doesn’t mean she couldn’t have decided to visit an aunt or an uncle. Do you know where any of her family lives, Dad?”
Cody thought it an odd question. Paige hadn’t kept in touch with her extended family. No one had pressed her about it. It was something she had in common with Donovan. They didn’t mind leaving the past behind and building a family of their own they could count on, consisting of the group assembled in the living room right now.
“Somewhere in northern Manitoba, I think. But she wouldn’t turn to them.” He shook his head, certain about that much.
“Have you tried tracking her phone?” Madeline asked. “Do you have any features like that on your plan?”
Their father stared at her blankly.
Cody stood from his seat by the front window, feeling restless. All the anxiety in the room only added to his own fears. “Dad, give Maddy your cell. She can tell if you have a program that shows where other devices on your phone plan are located.”
Donovan passed the older model cell to Madeline, but Cody didn’t hold out much hope. Neither his father nor stepmother liked their phones, using them mostly as photo albums.
“Are any of her things missing?” Brock asked, shifting to cross his ankles.
“No. Not that I can tell.” Their father pursed his lips and looked around the room. The frown lines were etched deep in his tanned face. “Did she text any of you in the last twenty-four hours? Say anything unusual?”
Cody pulled out his phone to double-check, since Jillian had been the one to read through the slew of group messages this afternoon. But there was nothing from Paige.
There was silence for a moment until Scarlett spoke up. “She sent me a note last night telling me to be careful. But that’s all.”
Their father stared at his youngest daughter for a long moment. “She was worried about this trip. And she didn’t like you seeing the actor.”
“I didn’t go to see Logan,” Scarlett protested.
Cody barely grasped what they were talking about. And he only knew as much as he did thanks to Jillian. Funny that he had a better understanding of his family because of her, especially when she hardly knew them. She hadn’t even met half of them. But then, maybe that was an indictment of him, and how he’d detached himself from the rest of the McNeills.
Maisie cleared her throat, slanting a glance at Scarlett.
“Okay, I went to see him, but only to tell him exactly what I think of self-important actors.” Scarlett crossed her legs, the tulle of her flowered skirt swirling like a dark cloud around her knees.
Carson pinched the bridge of his nose. “Can we focus on Paige? Should we search the ranch?”
A surge of fear jolted Cody. The idea that she might be hurt somewhere on the property hadn’t occurred to him. But their mother had died on the ranch.
“Good idea.” Cody was already on his feet. “We should divide up the acreage and start looking.”
Brock and Carson stood. Someone turned off the TV and Carson pulled up a map on his phone. Maisie was already claiming the terrain she would search on horseback, while Scarlett went to a closet to dig out flashlights. Cody noticed Maddy move to stand beside their father, an arm around his shoulders. The old man—who wasn’t all that old—suddenly looked every one of his sixty years. If the thought of something happening to Paige made Cody’s gut twist, he could only imagine what it did to his dad.
Once they’d all made a plan to check in with each other, Cody took his phone and his search assignment, then drove Scarlett to the stables, since she didn’t have her car. Carson drove behind them. Cody planned to search on horseback, but he would insist that Scarlett take the Gator, so she could use the headlight. It would be safer for her.
“You okay?” he asked her on the way over to the stables near the main house. His gaze went to the bedroom window where Jillian’s light was still on.
“I guess.” Scarlett seemed nervous. Fidgety and hesitant. She must be really worried. “I just feel bad that Dad thinks Mom disappearing could have anything to do with me, or with my visit to LA. I knew she was worried but...” She shook her head. “Not any more worried than normal, right?”
“You’re entitled to follow your dreams,” he told her, realizing he meant it even though he’d gotten the idea from Jillian. “Dad and Paige both know that, even if they guilt-trip you about it.”
Cody was trying to reassure her, but she still seemed upset. After he parked the truck between the equipment building and the stables, he gave her a hug with one arm.
“She’s going to be fine,” he told her. “We’ll find Paige.”
A little while later, as he saddled up his horse to start his search, he hoped that was true. He had thought the most likely scenario was that Paige had left Dad. Maybe they’d had an argument or something that Dad wouldn’t own up to. But mounting a search of the property in the dark brought home the reality that something could have happened to her.
The fear in his gut wasn’t just about Paige. This night only heightened his sense that Jillian and his child seemed so vulnerable, too. Tomorrow, he would ask Jillian what she needed to be happy in Cheyenne. How he could help her find fulfillment—to pursue her dreams—from Wyoming.
There was nothing more important to him in the world than keeping her and his baby safe.
Twelve
Jillian was awake when Cody returned to the main house at midnight. He’d messaged her ea
rlier to let her know about Paige’s disappearance and the search. So when Jillian saw the pickup truck’s headlights in the driveway from her window, she rushed downstairs to see if they’d found his stepmother.
She reached the kitchen as he was coming through the front door. His expression was even more somber than usual, and her chest tightened.
“Any word?” she asked, flipping on the light over the oven range to illuminate the kitchen.
“Jillian.” His broad shoulders sagged a bit as he saw her. “I didn’t want to wake you.”
She noticed now that he’d slid off his boots at the door. He padded over to her in his socks, barely making a sound on the hardwood floor.
“I’ve been worried.” She reached to touch him, to offer what comfort she could.
He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her. Fast. Hard. She could feel the tension in him, and the worry. She pressed herself closer, breathing him in. For a span of two heartbeats, she kissed him back, wanting him. Wishing she could lose herself in his touch.
But then, she edged back, knowing they needed to talk.
His gaze held hers for a long moment, his breathing harsh. Then he straightened.
“We halted the search when Paige called Madeline shortly before midnight. She’d decided to drive to Yellowstone to clear her head in the mountains for a few days.” Cody edged back to look down at Jillian, his hands rubbing warmth into her upper arms, making her realize she’d forgotten her robe in her rush to get downstairs.
Fresh awareness sparked inside her at his touch.
“Why didn’t she answer her cell all day?” Some of the worry slid away at the news that his stepmother was safe, but Jillian wondered why he still seemed so on edge.
She could feel the tension in his shoulders where her hands lingered, and she wanted to ease that away. To curl against him all night long. How was it possible that someone she’d known for such a short amount of time could feel so right beside her?
