“Thank you.” Ben paused as he waited for the applause to die down. “I’m greatly humbled and honoured to be receiving this award. I’d like to give my deepest gratitude to God. He’s blessed me in more ways than I deserve.” A hush descended on the room. Ben’s voice commanded attention, but mentioning God in a gathering such as this… “I’m also grateful to my partners and my firm.” He turned his gaze to his colleagues sitting either side of Tessa. “It’s a joy to work with you and for you.
“I’d be lying if I said I’d made the journey here alone. Numerous people have supported me along the way. First, while my parents struggled with managing money for much of their lives, they made sure I had a good education and always supported me in all of my endeavours. Even though they’re no longer here, I’m eternally grateful for their unwavering guidance and encouragement.
“Second, I’m thankful for my family.” Ben paused and looked down at the podium. He hesitated before moving on. “We aren't together anymore, but I’d like to acknowledge my former wife, Kathryn. Her support in the early years won’t be forgotten. Jayden, my son, who’s not here tonight, I’m blessed to be his father.
“I feel very honoured to have won this award. I hope I can live up to it. Thank you all.”
Ben's award was the last one given out. When he returned to their table, he asked Tessa if she’d like to dance.
“I'd love to. Not sure how good I'll be, but I’ll give it a go.”
Ben placed his hand on the small of her back as he led her confidently to the dance floor.
“My dad once told me,” he whispered in Tessa's ear, “that the most important rule in dancing is not to step on your partner's toes.”
Tessa looked down at her peep toe pumps. “I think he was right,” she said as he led her in a slow waltz to the soft music. Ben's arms were tight around her waist, their faces inches apart. It felt good to be in his arms. Tessa relaxed. She wouldn’t jeopardise their budding friendship by trying to extract information from him like Stephanie had asked. Let her find it herself.
“I thought your acceptance speech was sincere.” Tessa spoke quietly, not quite trusting her voice. “It was good to hear you're a Christian.”
Ben turned his head slightly to look at her. “Yes, since I was eighteen. What about you, Tess?”
“I was ten. I know that’s young, but I’d been brought up in the church and in a Christian family. I don’t think I fully understood what I was doing, but I knew it was something I wanted to do, and I haven’t regretted it.”
“I thought you might have been, but I wasn’t sure. I’m glad.” Ben’s hand tightened on her back as he guided her around a tight corner and between other dancers. Tessa had always dreamed of being swept around a dance floor with a handsome man. How often had she wished Michael could dance like this? But he only ever wanted to jig about. He really was such a big kid. Ben was a man, and a smart, handsome one at that.
They continued dancing in companionable silence, comfortable in each other’s arms. Tessa was more than happy to allow Ben to lead, savouring the moment until the music changed.
“Would you like a drink?” Ben guided her out of the way of a bunch of young people who’d just invaded the floor.
“That would be nice. Yes, thank you.”
As she sat at a bar table sipping a sparkling mineral water, Tessa felt it was time to find out a bit more about the man who could quickly capture her heart if she let him. Recalling Pastor Stanek’s advice, she needed to find out who Ben Williams really was and who or what he was chasing. Now was as good a time as any.
Taking another small sip of her drink, she sent up a quick prayer. It’d be so easy to say the wrong thing and spoil everything.
She took a deep breath to steady herself. Here goes…
“Ben.” He turned his head away from the gardens in the distance and looked at her with those milk chocolate eyes that could just about melt her heart. Was she really game enough to pry into his past? What if she offended him by asking? From what Stephanie had told her, Ben didn’t open up to anyone. And yet, he’d mentioned Kathryn in his speech… maybe it was just Stephanie he had trouble with.
Her heart quickened, and she clenched her hands together to stop them from shaking.
“What happened with your wife? You mentioned her in your speech.”
Ben’s eyes clouded, his expression altering, like a veil had fallen over his face.
“You don't have to say if you don't want to.” Tessa gulped. Had she ruined everything?
Ben didn’t answer, but looked down at his hands. What had happened to the man who’d spoken so confidently in front of that huge crowd? This was a different man.
“It's not something I normally like to talk about,” Ben finally replied. He looked up and held her gaze. “But I don't mind telling you, Tess.”
Tessa breathed easier. Thank you God.
“There isn't much to tell, really.” Ben glanced out the window and stared into the distance. “Kathryn and I first met in middle school, and then bumped into each other again at church some years later. She’d started going with a bunch of her girlfriends. We married as soon as I finished University. We were both very young, just turned twenty-two.” He turned to face Tessa. “I’m not sure how wise we were in doing that, but we loved each other. At least, I thought we did.” Ben lowered his eyes and fiddled with his hands. “I loved her. Kathryn fell pregnant with Jayden in our first year of marriage. I would have loved more children, but she had a difficult pregnancy and didn't want to go through it all again, so we just left it at one.” He shrugged as if it didn’t matter, but Tessa was sure it did.
“How many children did you want?”
Ben looked up, his eyes a little brighter. “I’d always thought about having three. Maybe four.” A small smile appeared on his face.
“So after Jayden, what happened?”
The smile disappeared and he sighed deeply. “We were married for almost thirteen years, and then one day she told me she'd met someone else and was going to the States to live. A year to the day after she left, she filed for divorce.” He held Tessa’s gaze. “I haven't seen or heard from her since.”
Tessa’s heart ached for him. How could anyone do something like that to a man like him?
“But how could she do that? Just up and leave you both? Especially her son?”
Ben’s gaze moved back to the gardens. He looked so sad, as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. The hurt from Kathryn's leaving was written all over his face, making her breakup with Michael look like nothing.
“I'm still trying to find out the answer to that question.”
Tessa reached out her hand, placing it lightly on his. “I’m so sorry, Ben. I truly am.”
Chapter 9
“Would you like to walk?” Tessa asked Ben softly.
“Yes, I think so. Some fresh air would be good.” They said goodbye to Ben’s associates and left the Hotel.
The summer night air embraced them in warmth as they crossed the street from the hotel to the Roma Street Parklands. Ben carried his jacket over his arm and loosened his tie. Beside him, Tessa inhaled the lingering scent from the tropical plants lining the walkways. The clear sky overhead was littered with twinkling stars.
“I meant to ask about him earlier, but how’s Jayden doing? I know he’s doing well with Bindy, but what about everything else?”
Ben groaned and shook his head. “Getting harder to handle. Guess it's to be expected at his age.”
“He must have been upset when his mum left.”
“Yes. He was shattered. When I first told him Kathryn had gone, he thought I was joking and that she’d just gone to the store and would be back any minute.” Ben drew in a deep breath. “But as the days turned into weeks and she didn't come back, he knew I was telling the truth.” Ben stopped and leaned on the railing of a small bridge. “She called him once or twice. He cried each time, but then he clammed up. He couldn’t understand why she’d
left.” The hurt flicker in Ben’s eyes caused Tessa’s eyes to moisten. “He had a few angry outbursts, but he basically withdrew into himself. He hasn’t been the same boy since she left.”
“Does he ever talk about it?”
Ben sighed heavily and shook his head. “He used to ask if Kathryn left because of him. I assured him it had nothing to do with him, but I don’t think he believes me. He’s carrying a lot of bitterness and anger, but he refuses to talk about it with me or anyone else.”
“I’m not surprised he’s still struggling, Ben. That’s a horrible thing to have happen. Have you thought about getting some counselling for him?”
“Yes, but he’s not ready. It’d be pointless at the moment.”
Tessa was tempted to say ‘much like yours’, but thought better of it.
“I’ll pray for him, Ben. It’s the least I can do.”
“Thank you, Tess. I appreciate that.”
They continued walking along the pathway.
“Do you plan on staying in accounting?”
“Unless I have a midlife crisis or something, yes, I think so.”
Tessa laughed to hide her surprise and shot him a sidewise look. Midlife crisis? How old is he? Not middle aged, surely?
“I do enjoy my work, but you never know, maybe one day I might want a change. When I was a kid, I dreamed about joining the Socceroos but I quickly found out I didn’t have what it takes. What about you? Do you like your work?”
“Yes, I love it. I'd like to have my own practice one day.”
“Big dreams. I like it.” Tessa was pleased to see some life return to Ben’s face. “You should go for it, Tess. Jayden told me the other night on the way home from puppy school that he wants to be a vet like you. So that’s something.”
“Really?” That surprised her. He’d hardly said two words to her.
“Yes, instead of a rock star, so that's saying a lot.”
Tessa laughed. “He's already good with Bindy and Sparky. I’m sure he’d be a great vet if he decided to give up his rock star dreams!”
They came to a bench beside a water feature and took a seat. “Is Jayden a Christian?”
“No, not yet. He comes to church with me, but I get the feeling he’d rather not. I wish he’d see his need for God, and I'm praying that he will sooner rather than later.”
“People often have a hard time believing there's a good God in existence when so many bad things happen to them. I'll be praying for him too, Ben.”
“Thank you, Tess.”
“I know you probably don't feel this way,” Tessa said, turning to look him in the eye. “But you're doing a good job with Jayden. I've watched you in training classes, and you're so patient and thoughtful with him. You're a great dad.”
Ben’s eyes searched her face. “You really think so?”
“I do.”
Ben covered Tessa's hand with his own and squeezed it. They sat together in silence and listened to the water swish under the bridge beside them as rainbow lorikeets flitted back and forth between the trees.
Ben straightened and looked at his watch, alarm spreading across his face.
“What’s wrong, Ben?”
“Jayden had rugby practice tonight. I was meant to pick him up around 9.30. Totally forgot, and now I’m almost an hour late.”
“Has he called?”
“Probably. I turned my phone to silent before the awards ceremony.” Ben took out his phone and grimaced. “Nine missed calls.” He hit Jayden’s number, but it went to voicemail. Ben left a message, apologising profusely, and telling Jayden to stay put and that he’d be there as soon as he could.
Ben and Tessa quickly left the parklands, recrossing the street to the Hotel Grand Chancellor's parking lot and found Ben's car. The drive back to Tessa's place was largely a quiet one. Having pulled into Tessa’s driveway, Ben left the engine running and turned to Tessa.
“I'm sorry we had to end this outing so abruptly, Tess, but thank you again for coming. I really enjoyed your company.” When his eyes settled on hers, she had a hard job controlling her thoughts. All she wanted was for him to take her in his arms. “Maybe we could do it again sometime soon. Not at a ceremony, of course. Just you and me.”
Had she heard right? Ben was asking her out on a proper date?
She smiled warmly at him. “I'd like that, Ben. Thank you.” Her heartbeat quickened as he leaned over and kissed her cheek, his soft lips pressing warmly against her skin.
“Goodnight, Tess.”
“Goodnight, Ben.” Tessa’s mouth went dry, and she wasn't sure if he heard her.
“Tess, will you put that phone down and finish telling me what happened.” Stephanie sat cross-legged on the couch in their living room.
Tessa sat on the couch across from Stephanie with Sparky curled in her lap. She’d exchanged her gown and heels for a white shirt dress and bare feet. As soon as Tessa received the brief response from Ben, she set her phone aside and rehashed some of the night's events to her friend, leaving out any information that could be classified as private and confidential.
“Come on Tess, give me more. You know I need more than I’ve got to put in my report.”
“No, Stephanie, it’s not right. And besides, I’m just getting to know him so I don’t know much. Sorry.”
“Okay then. But tell me, has he asked you out again?”
“Maybe.” But the playful grin growing on Tessa’s face gave it away.
Ben waited to make sure Tessa was safely inside before accelerating off down the street and towards Jayden’s school. Tess would be having second thoughts about his parenting skills now, that was for sure. But it didn't really matter what anyone else thought, he’d failed both as a husband and as a father. He hadn’t been able to keep his wife, and now he was certain he was losing his son - slowly but surely.
The grassy sports field belonging to the middle school was empty and shrouded in darkness. Everyone had left for the night. Not surprising really - he was over an hour late.
Jayden must have caught a ride with one of his friends. Ben dialled Jayden's number again as he drove home. It rang several times before going to voicemail again. Ben was calling for the fifth time when he entered the kitchen through the garage. Jayden was at the microwave warming up leftover Hawaiian pizza slices. He shot Ben an angry look.
“Where were you? I called you like a zillion times, and you're just now calling me back.”
“I'm sorry, Jayden. I had my phone on silent and I lost track of time. How did you get home?”
“What do you care?” Jayden sneered, flicking his hair back from his face. “I got a lift with Neil, if you want to know.”
The microwave beeped. Jayden pulled open the door, snatched out the steaming pizza slices, and slid them onto a plate. Ben tried to think of something else to say but couldn't. Jayden was upset with him, and this time, Ben couldn't blame him.
“I'm sorry Jayden. It won’t happen again.”
“I don't believe you.” Jayden’s words stabbed at Ben’s heart. He was losing him, and fast. “Obviously your work thing was more important than me.” Jayden picked up his plate and headed for the stairs.
“Jayden, that isn't true.” Jayden disappeared before Ben could say more. As Ben began to follow Jayden up the stairs, his phone buzzed and he stopped. Maybe it was a good thing - Jayden was in no mood to talk. He looked at the text message. It was from Tessa, asking if everything was all right with Jayden. It wasn't, but he didn't feel like telling her all that had just happened, so he just wrote back ‘yes’.
Chapter 10
When Ben's associate, Walton, called early Saturday morning, Ben was having breakfast and reading his Bible, searching for guidance and direction.
“Something came up, Ben, and I won't be able to attend the Pro-Am Golf Tournament with you and Jayden today.”
“What a pity. I know how much you were looking forward to it.”
“Yes, I know, but it’s unavoidable. Why don’t you invite
Tessa to go along with you so the third ticket won't go to waste?”
Ben’s mind worked overtime. She mightn’t like golf. And she mightn’t want to see me again so soon. But why not? His heart thumped at the thought of seeing Tessa again so soon.
“I might just do that, Walton, unless you have anyone else who could use it?”
“No no, you take it, Ben. My pleasure.”
Ben dialled Tessa’s number as soon as he got off the phone. He almost hit stop when it began ringing. His pulse quickened. What am I doing? I’m not thinking straight. But it was too late. She’d see his number and know he’d rung anyway. After two rings, Tessa answered.
“Ah, Tessa, I know it’s short notice, but I was hoping you might come with me to the Pro-Am today. The friend I was going with has just cancelled, and so I’ve got a spare ticket and I thought you might like to come.” Silence. Maybe he’d woken her. His heart sank. Now I’ve blown it. “Sorry Tessa, did I wake you?”
“Yes, but it’s not a problem, Ben.” Tessa’s voice was croaky, and she stifled a yawn. “I’d only planned on doing some shopping, but that’s not important. Is that the golf tournament?”
“Yes, it is. Guess you don’t follow golf?”
“No, but I’d love to come anyway. Thank you.”
Had he heard right? She’d love to come? His heart soared.
Next, he needed to wake Jayden up. How he’d kept it a secret from Jayden, Ben wasn’t sure, but he was glad he had this up his sleeve. Even though Jayden didn’t play golf, he’d developed an interest in watching it on television of late, and Ben was sure he’d love to see a professional match.
Ben climbed the stairs and knocked tentatively on Jayden’s door.
“Leave me alone.”
Ben’s heart fell. He took a deep breath. “You'd better get up if you want to go to the Pro-Am today.” Ben held his breath as he waited for Jayden’s response.
Within moments, Jayden opened his bedroom door. He was still in pyjama bottoms and t-shirt, and his hair was an unruly mess, but the incredulous look on his face gave Ben hope.
Tender Love: A Christian Romance (The True Love Series Book 1) Page 5
