“For me?” I blubbered as I held on to him for dear life.
“For you,” he said. “All of this is for you.”
I was pretty sure what I was feeling was love, but I had a few things to do before I could say the words out loud.
“Mac, I… ”
He quickly pulled me to his chest, making speech impossible. “No. It’s still not time for decisions. You can’t say anything until we’ve had all our dates.”
His expression was worried and unsure and I hated myself for being the reason it was there, but he deserved all of me if I had it to give. There was only one way for me to find out.
I nodded and let my body relax against his as my gaze wandered over the Eden we were standing in. If this was really what we were capable of then I was going to work like hell to fix myself so I deserved it—and him.
“Take me to Roger,” I said with a renewed determination to get my shit together. I was no longer going to protect myself in therapy. I was going to let it rip.
Goddess help us all.
Especially Roger.
CHAPTER 7
“You want to do what?” Roger croaked, paler and more alarmed than I’d ever seen him.
“Do you need the puke bucket?” I asked, concerned that the rabbit was going to lose his lunch.
Mac had dropped me off at Roger’s office and I’d caught my therapist as he was leaving for the day. Of course it was after four so Roger’s pallor might be due to drinking… Mac had no clue what I was so fired up about, but he was a very good sport and asked no questions. I’d like to think it was because he trusted my intuition, but more likely he was terrified.
“Just repeat what you just said so I’m sure I heard you correctly,” Roger requested shakily.
“Okay, here’s the deal,” I began enthusiastically and placed the puke bucket at his feet as a precautionary measure. “I want to do two-a-day therapy sessions until I’m fixed—possibly three-a-day because I’m kind of in a time crunch here. I refuse to use my tree house until I can do so without guilt. And I really want to use my tree house.”
“Tree house?” he queried cautiously.
“Yep, it’s totally awesome and I’ll have you there for lunch after I’m fixed up and functional.”
“I see,” he murmured as he jotted wildly on a notepad.
“Along with the massive quantities of head shrinking I’m going to do, I’ve decided to star in the play.”
“My goodness, you have?” he questioned, very surprised.
“Yes. I’m doing it for my dad. He is not fitting in very well here due to his obsessive cheating habits and I want him to stay. Therefore, I’m willing to humiliate myself in front of the masses. I mean my Goddess, he was my freakin’ cat for a few years. The very least I could do for him is give the town reason to make fun of me for the next decade or two.”
“Is there anything else?” he asked.
“Yes,” I stated with a wince as I sat down on the couch and put my head between my knees. “Do you have any paper bags I could breathe into after I say the next part? I’m afraid I might pass out.”
“How about the puke bucket?” he suggested and held it up.
“Good idea,” I said as Roger placed it next to me as I sat on his still ugly couch. “Mmmkay. I’m going to give Saaaaa… ” I stuttered and got light headed.
I could do this. It was right and good and I was trying like a mother humper to change for the better—or at least a loose definition of the better.
“Are you all right, Zelda?” Roger asked.
“No. If I was all right I wouldn’t be sitting here telling you I was going to give Sassy full access to my closet,” I gasped out on one breath.
We both sat in frozen silence and waited for the world to explode.
“Shit balls on fire.” I groaned and picked up the bucket just in case. “Did I actually say that aloud and we’re still alive?”
“Yes. Yes you did and yes we are,” Roger said with a weak smile. “Are you sure about all this?”
“Absolutely not,” I told him truthfully. “Sassy will be taking her life into her own hands if she even touches my stuff, but she’s a powerful witch. I figure she’ll be fine with a few zaps and possibly no hair. I just think if I gave up some of my control with material things it would be okay for Mac to climb my hair and perform a private porno in my tree house.”
“The same tree house you’re going to invite me to lunch in?” Roger inquired with a scrunched nose.
“Um… yes.”
“I’m going to pass,” he said politely.
“I thought you were into porno, not that you’d be invited to that part,” I quickly added.
“While I do enjoy the occasional adult film, I prefer not to know the actors,” he replied primly with his hands folded neatly on his desk.
My grin split my face. Prim and porno didn’t quite go together, but we were all strange—some more than others.
“Okey dokey then, we’ll go to the diner.”
“That would be lovely,” he replied with a smirk.
“Back to the rest of the shit show I’m embarking on… the thought of doing the play gives me hives, but I’m fairly certain I love Fabio and I want him to be happy. Do you think that means I really love him? I mean I can’t act my way out of a butthole, yet I’m willing to make a fool of myself.”
While I waited for Roger’s reply, I realized I was holding my breath.
“As to your question,” he said slowly—so slowly I was starting to turn blue… “You are the only one that can answer that.”
“You suck as a therapist,” I shouted. “Here I am ready to lose my entire wardrobe to someone with knockers three times the size of mine and become the joke of the town by performing in a theatrical clusterfuck where people may die and you can’t answer one freakin’ question?”
“It wouldn’t matter if I answered it or not,” the bunny replied logically. “It would simply be my opinion. My opinion doesn’t matter—yours does.”
Son of a bitch, the rabbit was making sense. I didn’t like it anymore than the no sex edict he’d shoved into my brain earlier, but I couldn’t even argue with him. He was correct. I needed to make my own decisions. I just hoped a massive dose of therapy, saying goodbye to tens of thousands of dollars’ worth of clothes and getting an ass load of heinous reviews on my acting abilities was going to be enough.
Damn it, it had to be. I wanted to get laid in a tree house.
“When is the first rehearsal?” I heard myself ask aloud.
Roger checked his watch and grinned. “In about fifteen minutes. Are you positive about this?”
“Nope. Let’s go.”
***
The Community Center was filled with Shifters who were so excited it made me queasy. My dad stood next to me, beaming like an idiot and accepting congratulations on his directorship like he’d just become the President of the Universe. I wavered between feeling good and nauseous—good because my dad was clearly overjoyed and nauseous because I was here at all. I was certain I’d made a very bad decision as I didn’t even know what the hell the play was, but I was stuck now.
Even the grumpy members of the Town Council seemed happy with Fabio. It was most likely because he’d promised to foot the bill of the unknown theatrical nightmare with his ill-gotten fortune. It was win-win as far as everyone was concerned—everyone except me.
Bob the beaver Shifter stepped up onto the stage of the Center and clapped his small hands. My fingers itched to pluck his uni-brow that started just above his nose. I’d have to save that activity for another day. Bob probably wouldn’t appreciate me sitting on him and removing an obscene amount of hair from his forehead in front of spectators.
Glancing around the now quiet room, my earlier confidence disappeared. All of my friends were here. Crap. I was going to have to perform in front of them during the rehearsal process. For some stupid reason, I’d had it in my head that it would be a one person show… maybe two. There ha
d to be at least thirty Shifters packed into the room. Thankfully, Mac wasn’t one of them. That would be a relationship killer for sure.
“I am excited so many of you showed up after the little mishap that happened last time we did a show. Your confidence humbles me,” Bob told the group.
“Little mishap? People getting stabbed and eaten was a little mishap?” I mumbled under my breath only to be elbowed by my father.
Kurt the raccoon Shifter, Wanda’s mate, politely raised his hand and waited to be called on.
“Kurt, you have a question?” Bob asked.
“Yes. Will there be violence or weapons in this show?” he asked with a small shudder.
“Um… no, not really,” Bob volunteered.
“And what does not really mean?” my buddy Simon the skunk inquired with narrowed eyes. “I refuse to take part in anything with bloodshed, anyone losing an appendage or Goddess forbid, actually dying.”
“That’s a reasonable concern,” Bob agreed somewhat nervously. “However, I am happy to announce the only weapons used in this year’s production will be wire hangers.”
A murmur of relief washed over the crowd, but I was fucking confused. Wire hangers? What kind of musical was this?
“What’s the play?” I whispered to my Dad who seemed as confused as I was.
“No clue.” He shrugged and pursed his lips.
“You agreed to direct and fund a play not knowing what the hell it was?” I demanded as quietly as I was capable of.
“You agreed to star in it with the same lack of information,” he shot back.
“Point,” I replied in fear for my life. “Can I get out of it?”
“Baby, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
He was sincere which made me feel like a slug. He wouldn’t make me do this. I knew my dad would still love me even if I went running out of the door without looking back. And for that very reason I stayed. I’d have to discuss this one with Roger. It simply had to be love. If I didn’t love my dad, why in the Goddess’s name was I still here?
“I want to do it,” I lied with what I hoped passed as a smile.
“No, you don’t,” he replied back with a chuckle.
“Fine,” I muttered, totally busted. “I’d rather chew glass and swallow it, but I want to be with you.”
Fabio’s smile went straight to my heart and melted the hard shell just a bit. His eyes sparkled and he trapped me in a bear hug that I wanted to stay in for a very long time. However, his show of affection blocked out Bob’s droning and I missed the announcement of the title of the show.
The applause was loud and the laughter was hearty. How bad could it be if everyone was so happy? Maybe it was Grease. I loved Grease. I would be an awesome Sandy or Rizzo. Actually I would suck as Sandy or Rizzo, but I did love the show. Maybe they would let me be the Principal. That was a small part and I don’t recall her having to sing or dance.
“Sweet Goddess,” Fabio shrieked so loudly I clapped my hands over my ears. “The costumes will be positively fabulous. Zelda, you will look like a million dollars!”
I grinned weakly and prayed he was exaggerating the cost, but one never knew with my dad.
“All right people,” Bob shouted above the din. “Fabio will be directing, Simon will be musical directing and I will be choreographing along with having written the script. There are scripts and music available for everyone on the table in the back of the room. DeeDee will check them out to you. Not a word can be breathed about our production. The dumb-ass Shifters in the surrounding towns will try to steal our idea and beat us to the punch—especially the nosy chipmunk Shifters. We are gonna have a comeback with this baby and rule the you-know-what out of all the thespians in West Virginia!”
“Did you say the chipmunks are lesbians?” Jeeves asked perplexed.
“Um, no,” Bob said. “As far as I know they’re straight. I said thespians.”
“Thank you. Just clarifying,” Jeeves said.
“No worries. Are we ready to do a show?” Bob yelled gleefully.
The roar of the crowd was deafening and I still had no clue what the play was. How was this happening? And if I wasn’t mistaken, Bob said he was choreographing. That didn’t bode well at all.
“Are we starting tonight?” Sassy shouted from the crowd.
Oh my hell, of course she was here. I couldn’t catch a break from her if it bit me in the ass. I wasn’t strong enough to tell her she had carte blanche in my closet yet. That nugget would have to wait until tomorrow. This was enough for one evening.
“Yes!” Bob shouted back enthusiastically. “We’ll start with the big production number, No More Wire Hangers. Everyone is in it!”
“Will there be sparkly costumes for this one?” a nice opossum Shifter named Annie called out.
“Tons of sequins,” Fabio assured the happy group. “And probably marabou and go-go shorts.”
“Awesome,” Sassy squealed as she laid a big one on Jeeves who was clearly happy to be part of the debacle.
Of course I was still stuck on the fact that there was a number called No More Wire Hangers. Why did that sound vaguely familiar?
Oh shit. No, no, no, no, no, no.
This was not happening.
“All right Mommie Dearest,” Bob yelled gleefully as he pointed at me with a huge grin that made his uni-brow drop even lower. “Get up on this stage and put yourself front and center! We’re gonna swing some hangers.”
No fucking way.
My body was rooted to the floor. Was everyone here smoking crack? Who in their right mind would think a musical of Mommie Dearest was a good plan? I suppose people that had participated in song and dance versions of Silence of the Lambs and Friday the 13th were overjoyed to do anything that didn’t include murder or fava beans, but…
On top of everything, the irony that I was about to play a mother from hell was not lost on me. At least I had that part of it covered.
Was I really going to do this?
Fabio was looking at me with such pride I almost cringed. I was certain he was mentally cataloguing my costumes in his head. His genuine elation was the only thing that made my heavy feet move. I wasn’t going to disappoint him. I’d been through so much disappointment in my life I refused to add any to his. If this wasn’t love, I had no clue what was…
I could do this for my dad.
I had to do this for my dad.
Shit. I was never going to live through this.
I silently wondered as I took my place on the stage if my monster-ass therapy schedule was going to go as badly as my decision to do the play. I knew opening my closet to Sassy the Booby One was going to land me in a straight jacket. The only thing that kept me going was the damn tree house.
However, I was beginning to wonder if sex in a tree house with Mac was worth the cost.
I pressed the bridge of my nose and inhaled deeply as Bob shoved a wire hanger into each of my hands. For a brief moment I considered strangling him with them, but I knew I would have to heal the little bastard.
New leaf, new leaf, new leaf. I was turning over a new leaf and if I couldn’t hack it, I knew I could always run. I was good at that. I’d been leaving places my whole life. The only problem was I didn’t want to leave this place. Assjacket, West Virginia was different. I was different.
I had made my plan of action and I was going to stick to it even if it destroyed me.
I observed Bob do something akin to a combination of square dancing slash twerking and I groaned aloud. This was going to be a long and painful rehearsal period.
Very, very, very long… and painful.
CHAPTER 8
“You say chipmunks are lesbians?” Fat Bastard asked as he searched the refrigerator for something that struck his fancy.
“What the hell?” I groused and slammed the fridge shut, narrowly missing his big, fat, square, furry head. “I said thespians. You have a very unhealthy obsession with lesbians.”
“Pretty sure
if we stopped using the term thespian altogether, there would be a far better chance of the Bastard not getting the crap beat out of him,” Jango suggested as he wolfed down the last of the cookies from the jar.
If the cat hadn’t offered up such outstanding advice I would have tackled him for inhaling the last cookie. However, he’d scored points. I hated the word thespian anyway.
A Witch In Time Page 6
