Written in the Stars
Jennifer Martinez
Copyright © 2013 Jennifer Martinez
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Table of Contents
Copyright
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Epilogue
Sample Chapter Losing Me, Finding You
About the Author
Dedication
To all the women who tried, failed, and got back up again. This book is for you.
fate (ft) n.
1.
a. The supposed force, principle, or power that predetermines events.
b. The inevitable events predestined by this force.
I've never been a believer in “fate.” I grew up with a strong willed mom who instilled in me, from a very young age, that I could do anything I want. Throughout my life what I wanted changed quite a few times. When I was seven, I wanted to be a star soccer player for Team USA. At eleven, I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. Come high school, an environmental lawyer. I prided myself on never being a girl who needed a guy. I remember in high school I laughed at the girls fussing over prom dates when all I cared about was the lives of the chickens our cafeteria turned into chicken fries.
Sometime between high school and college, my goals changed again. I wanted to be a philanthropic housewife. Marry rich and use his money for the betterment of society. That was my first mistake. I still wanted to be an environmental lawyer, but the long term plan was to find that perfect someone, move into a big house with a white picket fence and have my two point five children. After dropping them off at school, I would go to the museum where I would be a committee member and work on getting art into the inner city.
The problem with this plan was that I now needed a guy, man, whatever. I needed someone who would treat me right and had a good head on his shoulders. Just because I no longer wanted a typical career didn't mean I was going to bend over for just anyone. This is my story to all young women. The story about kissing a few frogs before I found my prince and how I didn't even see it coming.
CHAPTER 1
My True Love
Curtis was my first hope for my American dream. He was perfect! He was a few years older than me but we worked together at Macy's. I will never forget the first time he talked to me. I was only eighteen and yea, I had totally scoped him out and deemed him out of my reach. He was a perfect Southern gentleman. Thin, but toned with years of hard work etched into the lines on his hands. He has a slight Southern drawl and chestnut brown hair that curled into perfect ringlets at the base of his neck. He was kind and gentle to everyone and to this day, I still don't believe he has a bad bone in his body. I was focused on my Calculus one homework, fighting with the fact that I had to learn the manual steps to the equation when it was easier to press two buttons on my hand painted TI-89 calculator for the right answer. He must have seen my frustration because he walked over and plopped unceremoniously down on the bench to my left. He had an unopened bag of Cheetos in his hand and leaned over my arm to see what was frustrating me.
I was so lost in the light musky scent of his cologne and the fresh lavender smell of those perfect brown curls, I didn't even hear him the first time he asked me what I was having trouble with. It wasn't until those perfect, soul searching brown eyes of his made contact with mine that I even realized he had said something. I finally snapped back to reality and told him about my horrid bout with manual mathematical labor. He chuckled as he scooted a few inches closer to me and said, “Here, let me see if I can help. I love math.” Yep, he just got even more attractive. I tried to stop the flutter of a million butterflies wreaking havoc on my abdomen as I smiled and said, “Thanks. I'm MacKinzie.”
“It's a pleasure to meet you MacKinzie; I'm Curtis.” he replied. He was genuinely kind about it. You could tell he had no ulterior motive but to help rid me of my hate of calculus.
My one hour lunch break flew by with Curtis explaining to me exactly why numbers meant letters and vice versa. This was a teacher I actually enjoyed. I went back to work with my head swimming with exponents, variables and perfect curls. Every day for the next month, he would help me on our lunch breaks and my grade drastically improved. Every once in a while, I would glance over at him while we talked about math, the migration of great whites and stained glass. And I would think for just a second, that I saw a hint of something more in his eyes than just a friendly look; it was a longing. I would spend my nights staring at the ceiling of my studio apartment, hugging a pillow, daydreaming about my calculus Romeo and how one day, he would finally kiss me. And in that moment, I would finally know we were meant to be.
The months passed and Curtis was transferred to another department. My breaks weren't the same without him but eventually my life returned to normal. I ended up with a B in calculus and had a few uneventful dates in the time between my first meeting with Curtis and my nineteenth birthday. No one ever got to me the way he did so I knew I wasn't over my fantasy crush yet. He had stolen a piece of my heart during our tutoring sessions and I wasn't ready to ask for it back yet.
My nineteenth birthday arrived in a blaze of pink and green balloons care of my amazing roommate, Hazel. We spent our day walking along the quaint streets of our city’s downtown area and eating lunch at the cereal bar. I would have bet a hundred dollars against the name that popped up on my caller ID as I palmed the cold, metal door leading back out into our city. Curtis. I picked up the phone and tried to say hi as friendly and calmly as possible but according to Hazel, it was more of a screech. It was a short and sweet conversation; he told me happy birthday and asked me to accompany him to dinner that night. I gave him my address and he told me he'd pick me up at seven.
Being my roommate and best girlfriend, Hazel knew all about Curtis and we had spent hours gushing over what his kiss would feel like. I turned to her slowly with a shocked smile, turning my lips slightly upwards when I finally managed to say, “Curtis just asked me out to dinner. He's picking me up at seven.” We both squealed and jumped up and down like tweens meeting Hanson. We decided to go back to our dorm so we could fully prepare for the evening.
Three hours later and two small burns from my Chi hair straightener, I was ready for my date. We had finally decided on a cute, black mid-length skirt and an embellished pink top. He called me from the bottom door of our dorms and Hazel gave me a hug as I walked down the stairs to the date I had been waiting for for nine months. When I got downstairs, I saw him in all his Southern splendor. He had on a black button down shirt with the sleeves cuffed showing off his muscular forearms. Light blue jeans with tears in all the right places and a nice worn in pair of Doc Martens. He was sporting his favorite Auburn University baseball cap and his signature brown curls were peeking out of the back just like I remembered. I'm nearly certain I blushed as he intertwined his strong hand in mine and led me to his Honda Civic. We were about halfway through the quad when Hazel stuck her head out our third story window and yelled, “Don't freak out when I'm gone tonight! I'm spending the night at Zoe's! I won't be home til after class tomorrow.” I shook my head and tried to contain my laugh knowing wh
at she really meant by her statement. She truly was the best roomy a girl could ask for.
We arrived at Steamers fifteen minutes later. It was an awesome local restaurant that only served ethically sound, fair trade food. You pay more but it tastes way better than all the cheap processed food right around campus. We caught up on the nine months we spent apart in between bites of Shriacha Chicken and wild rice. He had landed the promotion into security, which was a step in the right direction of his main goal of becoming an FBI agent. He worked hard and the company knew it; he was phenomenal at his job. I told him about my B in calculus and how it wouldn't have been possible without his help. We talked about my new classes and about how excited I was for Marine Bio the following spring.
After dinner, we grabbed some froyo and continued our conversation. It was just like my daydreams. We were talking and laughing, staring right into each others souls like we knew we were meant to be together. Even those romantic movie montages had nothing on the night I was having. We finished our Pinkberry and decided to head back to campus for a late night stroll. He had moved here after graduating from Auburn and had no idea just how beautiful our historical brick college really was. We parked his car and I began leading him to all my favorite spots. It wasn't until we were sitting on the stone bench under the bell tower that we got into the conversation I was really interested in. We were looking out over the lake covered in lily pads and filled with ducks when he picked up my hand in his and placed it on his thigh. I tried to focus on keeping my breath normal as his rough finger traced the lines of my knuckles. He turned to me with my hand sandwiched between his and looked right at me. Now when I say looked right at me, I don't mean in my direction; I mean looked right through my eyes and into my soul before he said, “I'm sorry about not calling you sooner.” I opened my mouth to respond but he started talking before I had the chance.
“When I first met you, I had a girlfriend. I'm sure you could tell that my feelings weren't skin deep. I didn’t want to be your friend because I couldn't face the temptation. We broke up a couple months ago and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. Would you like to try this? I mean you do have feelings for me too, right?”
I giggled maybe a little too vibrantly and saw his head dip down to inspect the blades of grass. I used my free hand to lift his chin and bring his eyes back to mine. I said, “I have dreamt about you saying that for the last nine months and you know what? It's even better in real life.”
I saw a sparkle in his beautiful brown eyes as his hands relinquished their hold on my hand and moved to my face. I was flooded with warmth and chills as his thumbs traced the lines of my face, leaving little trails of fire everywhere they touched and sending shivers down my spine.
In that moment, the whole world ceased to exist. It was just me and Curtis surrounded by the muted sounds of crickets basked in moonlight taking in every detail of the moment. Nothing in my wildest daydreams could have even come close to the fireworks that exploded when he finally leaned in and lightly grazed my lips with his. My body ignited with an electric current I had never felt as I took in that same smell that had sent me into a daze nearly a year ago. He leaned back and looked into my eyes as if asking if it was ok that he kissed me. I felt the corner of my mouth twist up as I bit on my lower lip completely in awe that this moment had finally come. He traced my now throbbing lips with his thumb before leaning in again to firmly place his lips on mine in our first real kiss. I swear we were floating through the clouds as our lips pressed together, breathing each other in. I could feel his passion, admiration and caring nature roll off of him. We could have kissed for hours sitting there on that bench but we finally broke apart. We walked hand in hand back to my dorm where he gave me one more quick peck before turning towards his car. I grabbed his wrist before he could escape and invited him in for cocoa and Boondock Saints.
We spent the rest of the evening in each others arms. It was like that missing piece of my heart finally found its home and I was whole. Nothing happened, I was still a virgin. One earth shattering kiss was not enough to change that. But, we did drink cocoa and held each other while watching one of our favorite movies. It was an amazing feeling to be truly accepted for who I was and I knew that I could be exactly me with him.
As the months passed, we grew even closer. Neither of us had said the “L” word yet but we both knew we felt it. I had finally decided that I was ready to take the next step. Curtis had planned an amazing night for us. We went out for a nice romantic dinner at a small Italian restaurant and ate froyo again at Pinkberry. It was another perfect date just like our first that would end in another earth shattering moment between the two of us. After dessert, we went back to his apartment where he had a bottle of Moët chilling and chocolate dipped strawberries for us to enjoy. He really was the perfect man. Most guys would be chomping at the bit to add a V card to their wallet but not my Romeo; he just wanted to make sure everything was perfect for me. We listened to the throaty riffs of jazz wafting through his living room as we sat with our legs tangled on the couch sipping champagne and enjoying each others company. Once the bubbles finally gave me the last boost of confidence I needed, I crawled over to him and placed a strawberry in his mouth. When our eyes met, there was an instant understanding.
He wrapped his warm arms around my lower back as he kissed me. I settled into my new position, half laying on him and half on the couch, as his kisses started trailing down my neck. His hand reached for the back of my neck and his fingers entwined in my brown curly hair as he tilted my head to the side and continued his trail of kisses down my body. We laid on the couch exploring each others bodies until neither of us could stand it any more. He lifted me off the couch and grabbed my hand, leading me to his bedroom. When I walked in I almost started crying. He had hundreds of candles lit throughout the room casting an ethereal glow on everything the light touched. He walked me over to the side of his king size bed covered in red satin sheets and began kissing me all over again. I knew he wouldn't take things anywhere if I didn't instigate it and it only made me want him more. The cold fire was back and quickly engulfing my body as his hands lightly trailed down my bare arms. I leaned back and looked into his eyes, feeling happy and safe with the commitment I saw in them. I stood on my tip toes and whispered into his ear, “I'm ready.” I punctuated my final approval with a light kiss to his earlobe before I turned around to let him unzip my dress.
I moved my curly brown hair over my shoulder as he began slowly unzipping my dress, savoring every inch of the skin he had never seen. As my dress fell to my feet, I was completely open for him to see. I turned back around and we began kissing again as I fumbled with the buttons on his white dress shirt. Once I had the final button undone, I traced my fingers up his washboard abs, over his chest and onto his shoulders where I finally lifted the shirt off his solid frame. When his shirt finally shared a space next to my dress, he lifted me up and onto the bed. With both of us now on the bed, things continued to get hotter. His kisses no longer stopped at my collarbone and every time my breath would catch he would wait a second and then continue. I took the time he was leaning over my exposed body to take him in in all his splendor. I traced every inch of his skin with my fingertips, making sure I memorized every muscle and every dip. I finally snuck my finger inside the waist band of his jeans and we took the next step.
Now honestly, I can't tell you exactly what happened. I know that once I undid the button on his pants, he stood up and let his jeans fall to the ground as he grabbed a condom from his bedside table and put it on. I can also tell you that he looked absolutely perfect with his red swollen lips, flushed face and perfect chest rising and falling with the excitement that hung in the air like fog. When he climbed back on the bed, he slowly removed my panties and then we were dancing. It was like the perfect waltz, slow and a little awkward at first while I learned the moves. But once I was confident in my dance, we were like Cinderella and Prince Charming at the ball. Dancing on clouds, perfectly content an
d in love. I didn't say it that night and looking back, if I had, things may have gone very differently. Fate’s kind of a bitch like that.
I don't remember how it happened but for some reason we split up. Not for long, only a couple weeks, but it was long enough for Curtis to make a decision that would change both of our lives forever. In a less than sober state, he had hooked up with his ex girlfriend and forgotten the condom. No one ever thinks it will happen to them and he never gave it a second thought. He and I were back together and perfectly happy. We still hadn't said I love you. We knew it but were both scared of the word. It was a Thursday when he called me crying. I skipped my last class of the day and headed straight for his house, my heart breaking every second I couldn't hold him and make him feel better. When I arrived at his apartment, I used my key and found him on the floor curled up in a ball. I sat down in front of him and softly ran my fingers through his hair, letting him know I was there when he was ready.
After what seemed like hours he, finally stopped crying and said, “When we weren't together, I slipped up. I went back to Jessica. I was drunk; I had no intention of sleeping with her but it happened. I forgot a condom. She's pregnant. She wants an abortion. I can't let her have one; that’s my baby too.” Now at this point you'd think I would freak out on him, call him a slew of bad words and leave, right? Nope. I grabbed his hand in both of mine like he had done the night of our first kiss and said, “It's ok baby. I love you and I will love this baby too. If she will keep it, I will adopt it as my own. If its a part of you, its a part of me too.” The look of love and adoration in his eyes was enough to make my breath catch. I finally said it. I finally said I love you and he heard it. He kissed me hard and we stayed there on the floor the rest of the night holding each other until the world was right again.
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