He returned home to a full restraining order and divorce papers; that sent him over the edge. He hired a PI to find me and began harassing me in public. He refused to sign the papers and made my life a living hell. He would wait outside the museum for me to come and go, and began threatening my friends to give me up. I couldn't live in our city anymore; it was too scary. Even away from him, fear still ran my life. That was when I decided to leave the state. After a bit of research and talking to friends, I decided to move to Bonanza Oregon. It was as far away as possible without leaving the country.
Since leaving Steve I have taken security into my own hands. My Glock 19 was my closest friend and it was always with me. After searching craigslist for weeks, I found the perfect place to stay. My flatmate would be a gentleman named Coll. He was a former special ops agent for the Navy and since his retirement had moved to this small town to get away. We had a lot in common; we were both trying to escape our pasts.
CHAPTER 6
The Oregon Trail
After the trial was over, I finally moved to my new life. The trial had been viscous. Everyone finally saw Steve for the monster he was. In the end, the judge granted me fifty percent of his earnings which was enough to move comfortably across the country. As soon as the paperwork was filed, I changed my last name to Sullivan and started driving west. The savings and the alimony deposited into my bank account made it easy for me to take my time driving across the country. I was on my own and couldn't be happier about it, being away from my friends was hard but I knew it would get easier with time. Every few days meant a new city to explore. Atlanta was horrifying, New Orleans intoxicating, Las Vegas exciting and LA, well lets just say I'll never do that again. The last week of my trip was filled with winding roads through beautiful vineyards you couldn't help but stop and visit.
It was good alone time for me. I could finally stop and enjoy life for the first time in years. There was no reason to avoid a certain restaurant or act deaf to avoid a conversation that might result in a black eye. The sights were breathtaking. Every city was different from the last and the farther Northwest I drove, the less crowded the world became. Soon the ease and relaxation turned to excitement. When I crossed the Oregon state line, I knew my life was changing for the better.
Bonanza was smack in the middle of the state and about one hundred fifty miles off Highway 97. It was a city filled with rolling green hills, babbling brooks and streams. It was a small town surrounded by National forests and forgotten by time and industry. It was your typical one stoplight town. There was a main street and a small suburbia just off the main road. Head five minutes outside of town in any direction and you were smack in the middle of nowhere. My gray Ford Escape stuck out like a sore thumb alerting everyone to the new girl in town. After passing through the quaint little town, I turned left onto Old Bly Rd and north to the farm.
Coll had acquired the property from a relative who passed away while he was fighting overseas. When he got home, the city proved too much for his fried nerves and he decided to move out to the country where he could live in peace. I knew it was a large house with over fifty acres but was still surprised when my eyes landed on the house that could best be described as a mansion. It was a grand, two story white farm house with a wrap around porch decked out with rocking chairs and hanging swings. Behind the house, I could see the edges of the red stable filled with horses. It really was the country. I pulled up to the detached garage and hopped out of my car to be greeted by a beautiful husky with one blue eye. His nose nudged my hand and I obliged him with some good ear scratches. That’s when I first laid eyes on Coll. He was the absolute opposite of anything I could have possibly imagined. My first thought was to call Hazel and tell her I was living with Logan from The Lucky One.
Even though I had no interest in men, it would have been a bold faced lie to not at least mention this man was gorgeous. He was six feet tall with clover green eyes and auburn hair like mine. He had the perfect five o clock shadow, a chest that stretched his white tee to the limits and an ass you could bounce a quarter off of. When he finally made it to my car, he reached out one hand to shake mine and the other to pet the husky.
“Aye, yer must be Mack. It's guid tae meet ya.” He said in an unbelievably hot Scottish accent. Yep, I had to change my panties after that.
“And you must be Coll, it’s a pleasure to meet you as well.” I replied. He helped me with my suitcase and formally introduced me to Blaze, the husky. If the outside of this house was beautiful then the inside may as well be a feature in Better Homes and Gardens. Everything from the living room to the bedrooms had just enough decoration to make you question his sexuality. No straight man has a house this perfect. If he does, he lives with his mom.
My room was on the back half of the house with a huge window overlooking the stables. We dropped off my bags and continued on our tour. He showed me the spare rooms and immediately offered them to any of my friends should they decide to visit. We made our way back downstairs and he showed me the three most important rooms in the house: the kitchen, the library and the movie room. Yes, the movie room. Every room was better than the last and by the time we were finished with the tour, I was convinced I was never leaving. We didn’t talk about anything personal just about the house. There was a wine cellar in the basement. Now I wasn’t one for wine but it was still impressive. This house was every girls dream come true and all the views were quite spectacular outside and in.
Coll went back outside and I was able to explore the house on my own. The first thing I did was head up to my room. The room was beautiful, it had a dark oak four poster bed with a down comforter and matching furniture. There was a very inviting chaise lounge in front of my giant window. I could definitely see myself getting lost in a good book and an even better view. My bathroom was all white with a claw foot tub and granite countertops. It even had a vanity where I could sit and pit on my make up.
I still couldn’t get Coll out of my head. I needed to learn more about why he was the way he was. I could tell that he was broken a lot like me but that was it. As bad as it seems it made me feel better knowing that I wasn’t the only broken person in this perfect little city. I called Hazel after I settled in and spent the rest of the afternoon on the phone with her. She was excited to hear all about this Navy Seal I was living with. I wish I had more to tell her but I didn’t. We talked about the small town and she gave me some pointers on how to survive without ostracizing myself. She also warned me about living with a man I wasn’t seeing and how a town that small would see it.
Hazel had grown up in a small town and knew all about how they functioned. Being a city girl I had never been blessed with the experience. She warned me about all the looks I would receive and how everyone would probably already know about me. We got off the phone a couple hours later with a promise to talk again next week and I ventured off to explore the grounds around my new home.
CHAPTER 7
Thunderbird
I walked down the stairs and headed toward the back of the house. The white French doors perfectly framed the nature surrounding the house. Everything had happened so fast that I hadn’t had time to come to terms with anything yet. When I stepped out onto the porch the last six months finally caught up with me. I had finally fallen in love again and my heart had been broken a second time. I mourned my loss. I didn’t miss him but a piece of my heart was missing. You can’t survive something like that and not have scars. If I hadn’t been raised to be so independent I don’t think I would have survived. I would have stayed there too scared to escape my fate and eventually died at the hands of the man whom I fell in love with. I sat on the wicker rocking chair looking out at all the freedom I had and cried. I had lived but how many hadn’t. He would get married again and some other poor girl would be resigned to the same fate I had. Hopefully she would fight back. Coll walked by with Blaze and I tried to hide my tears. He didn’t need to know that his new roommate was a recently divorced emotionally unstable adult woman
. I kept telling myself I would pull through this, the song “What doesn’t kill you” by Pink kept playing in my head as I resigned myself to getting over this and moving on with my life. Steve couldn’t hurt me anymore. He had no idea where I was or what my name was. I was finally safe.
By the time I finally came back to reality the sun was beginning to fall back to sleep and I decided to go check out the stable. I loved animals and couldn’t wait to see what amazing creatures I would get to share my home with. I opened the large white doors to be pummeled with the smell of hay and manure and I loved it. It was a very grounding scent that instantly calmed my anxious mind. The stable was just as impressive as the house had been. Here were horse stables on one side and cows on the other. Every moment in the stables brought me closer to becoming a cowgirl. I had ridden horses before and made a mental note to ask Coll about riding and if there were any trails on the property. One horse in particular caught my attention. He was a Palomino beauty. He had a white base coat with brown and black spots. His main was a gorgeous red mane. Our eyes locked and I couldn’t help but reach out and touch his soft nose. He immediately nuzzled my hand and the bond was made. This horse was my first real friend in Oregon and I already cared about him. The door to the barn opened again and Coll came in. He saw me petting the Palomino and leaned against the wall. I was to involved in my own brain to acknowledge Coll’s existence.
“Yer must be special.” He said finally.
Without taking my eyes away from the horse I replied, “Why do you say that?”
“Thunderbird there, dannae let nobody pet em. He likes yer.”
“Thunderbird. Hi buddy, I’m Mack. Can I ride him?”
“Yer can try. His saddle is on the back wall. Do you know how to saddle him?”
“No. Can you tell me how?”
“OK, but yer hae to do it yerself.”
“Duh.”
I walked back and grabbed the saddle with a giant thunderbird etched into the side and his planket. Coll talked me thought how to walk into the stall and lead him out to get saddled up. TB really seemed to understand me and was super calm. I finally got the saddle over his back and all set up. Next was the bridle. That was far less fun that the saddling part. Thunderbird did not want the bridle in his mouth but I was finally able to coax it into his mouth and over his head. Coll saddled up a huge quarter horse a few stalls down and we walked out for a sunset ride. I let Coll take the lead as Thunderbird and I started getting used to each other. We trotted down the field into the woods where we slowed down to a walk. The woods around his home were amazing. The trees blocked out the sky and just hugged you. We finally made it through the woods and into the next clearing. He asked me if I was ready for some fun and I nodded with a smile. With one loud whistle both horses were off in a full gallop. Coll and Her Majesty were in front, with Thunderbird and I following behind. We sped through the field with the wind in our faces and I felt truly free for the first time in years. We finally slowed down at the edge of the field and tied up the horses. It was dark now and without streetlights you could see the stars in all their glory.
When my eyes finally stopped oogling the beautiful night sky they settled on Coll with two blankets and a thermos of coffee. He threw me a blanket and we sat down to take in all of the country beauty.
“Yer not from the country are yae?”
“No, I’ve always been a city girl. It’s so beautiful out here though. I can definitely see the appeal.”
“It takes some getting used tae, but once yer get used tae the crickets you’ll never leave.”
“The crickets?! Do they bite?”
“Nae, they are just louder than a fighter jet.”
“So where are you from? The accent surely isn’t American.”
“Aye, me mums from Scotland. Pa’s from San Francisco. I was born here but an accent like ‘ers is hard tae lose.”
“Well I think it’s endearing.” I concluded as I readjusted myself for a better view of the sky. We didn’t talk any more that night. About an hour later, we packed up our things and rode back to the house. My mind was a whirl of thoughts, fears and emotions. I walked up to my room and fell back on my bed in a daze.
CHAPTER 8
Coll
Wow. This girl is nae like I imagined. I’m glad I could help her out but I wonder what that stupid man did to get ‘er to file fae divorce. If I’da been him I’d be sure to nae let her go. She’s a beaut; auburn hair with a gentle wave, eyes blue like the sea. She has a smile that could light up a room. She bent over to pet Blaze and all I could do was thank God that she was not really a three hundred pound lad. I realized I had been staring and walked up to introduce myself. She was very formal, something I was nae expecting but it was a kind of awkward situation. I helped her with her bags and led her inside thankful that I nae longer had tae live in this mausoleum alone.
The house had belonged to my aunt and uncle. They said it reminded them of the rolling hills of Scotland and the small town, made them feel at home. They lived here their entire adult lives and died in a car accident when I was in Iraq. They never had kids and were truly the best family a kid could ask for. I used to love coming tae the farm to ride during the summers. I still dinnae why they left it to me but I guess it was fate. I could tell this was a big moment but not how.
We dropped off Mack’s bags and I took her on a tour of the house. It was big and easy to get lost but she was a smart lass. I told her she was welcome to have whoever she wants visit and she could use one of the six other bedrooms in the house. As she followed me through the house I kept getting the distinct feeling she was scared and needed a place to escape. From her room she had a perfect view of the stables so I started thinking about taking her for a ride. I didn’t know if she knew how to ride but either way I could teach her. We finally made it downstairs to the important rooms. The kitchen was always my favorite. It is decked to the nines with stainless steel appliances and granite countertops. There is a stone island in the center and glass cabinets and drawers holding everything you could possibly imagine. I love cooking so I always find myself in here trying something new. Next we headed to the library and the movie room. Her poor little mouth dropped open the second we walked in the door to the library. She must be a reader. This was my aunt’s favorite room. She was always interested in escaping. Not that she didn’t like America, but it could be rough and she always said books were the cheapest form of travel. The movie room had been my uncle’s man cave. We spent many summer vacations watching action flicks and talking about growing up. Being in there still reminded me too much of him so I didn’t use it much but I showed it to her, none the less. She looked like she was getting a wee bit lagged so I told her about the wine cellar and headed out to finish my daily chores around the farm.
I made it a point to stay within sight of the stables. I knew she would eventually make it out there and I could see the sadness in her eyes. I had been there before and knew how lonely it could be. I worked on mending the fencing around the chicken coop while my mind wandered back to my last day of battle in Iraq.
It was a normal security check; nothing out of the ordinary. We had made friends with the townspeople and trusted them but it was still protocol to check the road before the convoys came through. What we didn’t expect was our friends being even more scared of the insurgents than we were. They had arrived in the middle of the night and planted IED’s in the road. They told the townspeople not to say a word or the men would be murdered and the women raped. They set up shooters on the roofs to pick off any soldiers the IED’s didn’t kill. We drove the hummers in and blocked the road. We got out of our vehicles to set a perimeter and started the sweep, that’s when they set off the first bomb. The Humvee went up in a ball of flames and came down landing on two of our men. We immediately went for cover searching for whoever detonated the bomb. We were confused, hurt and injured. One by one they started detonating the other bombs. When soldiers would run for cover the shooters would pick them off li
ke fish in a barrel. We were lambs to the slaughter. I was shot in the thigh. I couldn’t move my right leg at all. When reinforcements finally arrived I was the only one left alive. I was alone. I had lost everyone that was important to me but I couldn’t give up I had to live to tell their families, to tell our commander. It wasn’t until I was in the back of the medical truck that I finally let the pain win and passed out.
The sun is starting to set when I finally escape my memories. I see Mack heading into the stable and after my flashback I am ready to escape too, so I head inside to get some dinner ready. When I finally get to the stable I am shocked to see her petting Thunderbird. That horse hasn’t let anyone touch him since my Aunt died but he is loving on Mack like they were went to be. I lean against the door for a while just to see what he does and neither of them acknowledge me.
“Yer must be special.” I say.
“Why do you say that?” she says completely enamored with Thunderbirds baby blues.
“Thunderbird there, dannae let nobody pet ‘em. He likes yer.”
When she asks if she can ride him I tell her she can try and tell her where the saddle is. She doesn’t know how to do it so I talk her through it while she does it. If she wants to ride on her own in the future she needs to learn and seems very anxious to do so.
She’s a natural with this boy. She has him saddled up in no time and I go ahead and get Her Majesty ready to ride. I’ve been riding Her Majesty for over eight years and she is one of my best friends. She always listens and never talks back.
We head out of the stables and mount the horses. I decide to take her to my favorite spot to think. It looks like she was crying and it’s a great spot to escape from your problems so we head off towards the trail in the woods. She rides behind me on the trail and when we get to the field I ask if she’s ready to open the throttle on Thunderbird. She nods with a huge grin and in a flash we are off at a full gallop.
Written in the Stars Page 4
