following her. “Sorry,” Jake said resting his chin on my shoulder.
I leaned into him and took a deep breath. “It’s nothing,” I said.
He kissed my neck and said, “Right. Claire is just Claire. It’s best to ignore her.”
“I should probably get going,” I said, stepping away from him and slinging my bag on my shoulder. I shut my locker and returned the lock.
“I’ll see you at lunch,” he said. I nodded and walked away.
I had a little time before class and I headed towards the bathroom. Two seconds after I got in there, someone pushed me to the ground. I felt the skin breaking on my hands as I fell to the cement floor. I turned around and saw Claire and the two girls hovering over me. I stumbled standing up, noticing they had me backed into a corner.
“Wh-what do you wa-want?”
Claire laughed. “Aw, she’s sccc-cared.”
I tried to hold back the tears as my eyes saw the hate. She poked a finger in my chest and emphasized each word with a poke. “You need to leave Jake alone. He’s mine. I can make your life a living hell. Got it? You’re nothing but garbage and Jake deserves better. He deserves someone like me not you.”
“Okay,” I said quietly, looking at the floor. She laughed and shoved me again before leaving. The bell rang making me tardy. I didn’t care. I took my time in the bathroom. I splashed water on my face to refresh myself. My mood from earlier had disappeared and was replaced with an ominous cloud hanging inches from my head.
I walked slowly to class, digging my nails in my hand, so I could feel physical pain over the emotional pain. I didn’t even try to pay attention and my teacher noticed. I didn’t answer when she called on me. I just turned the volume up on my iPod.
I felt torn. Everything my mom ever said to me slammed into my like a cannon ball. Seeing the hate in Claire’s eyes brought it all back full force. Between that and the past few days with Jake, Drake and my dad, I felt like I was being tugged between believing my mom or the guys. I tried not the think about it as I sat down at the lunch table. I bit my lip and stared at my food.
“Emily?” I looked up to see Jake sitting across from me. “Everything okay?” I avoided his eyes, just in case. I didn’t speak because I didn’t trust what would come out. Instead I opted for shaking my head. He stood, walked around the table and sat beside me. “Em, what’s the matter? Claire?” He asked, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and bringing me to him.
I didn’t answer him and he took that as a yes. His voice came out in a stern whisper. “Claire is just jealous. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Anything bad anyone could think about you wouldn’t be true. Emily, you have to believe that. Otherwise, you won’t ever be…well, you.”
“You…you don‘t know what she said, what she did.”
He looked at me curiously, waiting for me to continue. “What‘d she say?” He asked quietly. I told him about what happened in the bathroom and he was outraged. “I can’t believe her. I’ll be right back,” he said standing up.
I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. “Where are you going?”
“To talk to Claire.”
“Jake,” I objected, but he walked off anyway. I watched him as he motioned for the person next Claire to move. He sat beside her and her face lit up upon seeing that Jake was looking at her. She glanced my way with success written all over her face. Jake curled his fingers under her chin, as he has done to me so many times. He made her look at him.
I saw his lips moving and the anger that covered his face. I didn’t know what he was saying, but Claire objected to it by flailing her hands.
She set him off because abruptly he stood and yelled, “I don’t want you! You’re a self-centered bitch who hates on people you know nothing about. So drop it!”
He stormed over to my table and plopped into his seat. The entire cafeteria was quiet. Even the teachers seemed speechless. “Well, I feel better. Do you?” Jake asked, his deep voice echoing in the cafeteria.
I shook my head. Claire jumped out of her seat and ran out. The cafeteria began to mumble with voices talking over what happened. “Jake,” I said cautiously. His outburst had scared me. “Why did you do that?”
“She deserved it. She knows nothing about you Emily and she shouldn’t do that to you.”
I shook my head. “You don’t get it.” I picked up my full tray and tossed it in the trash on the way out.
“Emily,” Jake called after me. He followed me out into the hallway and called my name again.
I stopped and turn around. “What?”
“What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong is you scared the hell out of me. What’s wrong is you talked to her just like my mom talked to me. I don’t care what kind of person she is, she didn't deserve that. I don’t want to be around someone who can talk like my mother. I can’t deal with this right now.” I turned and headed for the double doors that led to my car.
“Em, I’m sorry.”
I didn’t turn around. I didn’t stop. “Jake, pick Drake up for me, will ya?” I heard him say yeah as I pushed open the door. I ran to my car and sped off towards my house.
My mind was so muddled. I drove all the way across the county and back. After thinking it through, I was still no closer to any conclusions. All I knew was that I wanted to feel like I did this morning all the time. I knew that I didn’t want to be around people like my mother. One outburst didn’t make Jake like her, did it?
I called my dad once I got home. “Hey, hon, what’s crackin’?”
I laughed and said, “I was wondering if I could talk to you for a second.”
“Sure. You have my full attention.” I explained to him what happened and asked him what he thought about Jake. “I think you need to talk things over with Jake. He was angry and didn’t keep control of his anger. Just tell him how you feel and things will settle like they should.”
“You’re right,” I said feeling a bit better.
“Of course I’m right,” he said.
I gave a small laugh. “Thanks, Daddy.”
“No problem, honey. I’m just glad that you came to me.” I smiled and hung up.
14
Jake
After school, I picked up Drake and headed to the house. Although I told my dad the other day about us being gone, I wanted to remind him. He was sitting in the recliner already shit-faced. This was ridiculous. I sat on the couch and he didn’t even acknowledge my presence. “Dad?”
“Yeah,” he slurred.
“I just wanted to let you know that Drake and I will be back around eleven or twelve.”
“Where are you going?”
I sighed, “We are going to Raleigh to the hockey game.” He nodded and continued to drink his beer. “Dad, you need to quit drinking so much and live your life,” I began but he cut me off.
“You killed her! You think I can just go on with my life when my love is dead and it’s my son’s fault?”
“I’m sorry! She would’ve died someday, Dad! She had cancer; she would have died by now anyway! The only thing I could have done was help her stay here a bit longer, so I didn’t kill her!” I screamed.
He threw his beer at me, but narrowly missed. “You don’t know that! Chemo could have kept her here. It could’ve killed that cancer!” He yelled angrily with tears streaming down his face.
“Dad, she hated chemo and you know that. At least now she’s not in pain. You know what, Dad? The only reason I am trying is because Drake wants his dad back, but I guess that won’t happen!” I stormed upstairs, got Drake, and left the house. I drove around to cool off before going to Emily’s.
I guess it was better for him to drink his life away and let Drake go without a father than to suck it up and move on like we had done. I slammed my palm against the steering wheel. Damn him! Yeah, maybe I could have saved my mom so she could live a little longer, but the cancer would have eaten away at her and she would’ve died anyway.
I took a deep breath and told
the silent Drake that things would be okay. He quietly let me know that he didn’t think I hurt our mom in any way. “Thanks, buddy.”
I turned left to go Emily’s. I knocked and she yelled for us to come in. I walked in and saw her sitting on the couch. Drake ran and sat beside her. I didn’t know how she felt after what happened today, so I sat in one of the recliners. Emily lit up as she was talking with Drake who was filling her in on his day. I saw him lean into her and whisper something that made her laugh.
What am I going to do to fix things? I mumbled something about getting a drink and headed to the kitchen. I heard laughing in the living room. I fixed a glass of Pepsi and walked in the living room to see what looked like a tickle war with Drake and she was clearly winning.
“Jake! Help!” Drake yelled in between laughs.
As I came closer, Emily said, “Don’t even think about it, Jake.”
“He’s my brother, Emily,” I told her, placing my glass on the coffee table. I reached out and tickled her stomach without worrying if she was okay with that. She released Drake and fell onto the couch. I took a chance and straddled her. I told Drake to get her. I held her arms above her head with one hand and put a tickle attack on her with the other. Drake attacked her stomach too. She was laughing nonstop and begging us to stop. I laughed and told her, “Not a chance.”
She was squirming underneath me with her hips grinding against me. “Jake, Drake, please stop.”
If she didn’t quit moving under me, I was going to go crazy. “Alright, Drake, stop.”
He retreated and plopped into the recliner. Emily was trying to catch her breath and glared at me. I burst out laughing and leaned down to give her a quick kiss on the lips without thinking. She tensed under me. “Sorry,” I mumbled getting off of her.
She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Drake turned his attention to the TV and Emily quietly asked to speak with me in the kitchen.
Pain struck my heart to hear that voice return. I followed her into the kitchen and leaned against one of the counters as she hopped onto the counter on the other side of the room. “I want to talk about today. Jake, you really scared me. I can’t have that kind of energy around me. I won’t have it. I don’t think this is going to work.”
The whole time she was speaking, her voice was low and she avoided looking at me. I crossed the room and turned her head towards me. Her eyes were watery and she closed her eyes just as a tear fell.
I wiped it away. “Em, I’m so sorry. I was just so angry that someone would talk to you like that after all you’ve been through.”
“So you think it’s right for you to speak like that to someone else?”
I shook my head. “No. Look, I’m sorry. You’ll never have to see that again. I promise. I won’t ever do it again. Just please don’t kick me out of your life.”
She leaned forward and rested her forehead against mine. “Okay,” she said quietly.
I wrapped my arms around her with relief coursing through me. I kissed her lips tenderly. I took her hand and we went to the couch to watch TV with Drake while we waited on Mike.
Mike walked in, greeted us and tugged at his tie, saying, “I need to change. After that, we should be good to go.” A few minutes later he returned and asked, “Alright, who is ready to go to the hockey game?”
“I am! I am,” Drake yelled to Mike.
He laughed and told Emily to go get the tickets.
She ran into the kitchen and returned moments later with four tickets. “Let’s go,” she said. We stood and walked through the kitchen and to the garage. “We’ll take my car,” Emily said.
She got in the driver’s seat and Mike told me I could sit up front.
“No, no. That’s fine. You can.”
“No, you go ahead. I’ll sit in the back with Drake.” I nodded and got in the passenger seat.
Then we were off. Raleigh was about an hour and a half away. Conversation
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