“Stefan...how can I do this? I feel like I’m going to let you down. Do you even trust me?” I questioned hoarsely. His fingers slipped under my chin and he tilted my head up. His ageless eyes stared into mine and a knowing smile curved his lips.
“I trust you with my life. You will do this, just as you have handled everything else. Think of what you have accomplished in such a short time. Now is not the time for self doubt or pity.” Stefan stated simply, his large hand cupping my cheek. His eyes never faltered as he continued. “You are a survivor. You are my equal, Josephine. You will overcome this thirst and you will flourish. You only feel out of control when you see blood. Anna is the same. It will pass; it is you that needs to learn to control it.”
He turned away and I heard the clinking of metal against glass, dinging softly as his shoulder moved effortlessly. The sharp metallic clang of metal sounded in the sink as he dropped the spoon he’d used to stir the blood.
“It is a matter of mind over matter. Now drink.” Stefan handed me the glass and my hands were shaking as I gripped the glass tightly in my hand. Part of me wanted to savor the blood, letting the rich liquid soothe the rawness of my burning throat. But the primal side of me wanted to drain the glass in one greedy swallow…just because I could.
In the end, it was somewhat of a combination of both. My greedy gulps turned into smaller, more controlled swallows as I drank and my thirst was sated. Stefan stood like a silent sentinel, his imposing frame a silent reminder of his stealth-like strength and power.
It wasn’t until I finished the glass and licked my lips that he moved. He took the glass from me and methodically rinsed it out at the sink, seemingly lost in the menial task. His thoughts were muddled, his mind purposely warded from my intrusion.
Hurt panged in my chest, like a knife in my heart. He hadn’t said a word since I’d taken the glass from him and it appeared he was in no hurry. Still uncomfortable in my new skin, I simply waited for Stefan to talk.
Grasping at my wrists, he held them above my head with one hand while the other cupped my face and traveled along the long expanse of my neck as he pinned me against the wall. His fingers tweaked my nipples until they pebbled under his expert touch. As he gazed down at me, his eyes were glittering pools of warring emotion. I could see the love and lust that battled for dominance.
In that moment, I'd take either.
Even when I was partially human, I'd trusted Stefan. When I thought back to those early days, I was amazed at my blind naiveté. I had been and was still willing to allow myself be restrained by a vampire that wanted nothing more than to surrender himself to me...in more ways than one. My eyes never left his face, and I watched him longingly. He smiled widely, exposing his white, perfect teeth and his sexy lips that curled up deviously. He nuzzled my nose with his own, his lips like gentle whispers against my cheek. My long legs wrapped around his narrow hips, holding him close and firm against me. I was no longer weak; I could easily break away from the hold he had on me. I could easily use my shield to control the situation, to take control.
But I didn't want to break away and I didn't want control. I wanted to climb inside of him, to know him from the inside out.
He rose up on one arm, the disarming look on his face surprising me. "You are beautiful, vackra," Stefan whispered. Reverent hands worshiped my skin, his truthful admission hanging in the air between us. "This…this is the beginning of forever."
My brow furrowed at the brutal, honest truth of it...and at the words I wanted to reassure him with. I wanted to let him know I loved him and that I trusted him, but I couldn't find the words. Instead of speaking, I flooded our bond with those heartfelt emotions. I smiled and relaxed, letting his strong hands restrain me and watch with inquisitive eyes as he smiled drunkenly at my outpouring of adoration.
"'Yes," I sighed breathlessly. When his lips captured mine and his hips brutally bucked against me, the electricity between us only increased. His hard cock pressed against my stomach, making his need known. "Stefan..." My voice sounded desperate, pleading.
"Vackra," he groaned, dropping his forehead to mine. "I feel it as well."
It was absolutely impossible to fight that devastating feeling of wanting to consume each other. It was a tidal wave of emotion, want, and need. I had no frame of reference to compare it to; the closest would be a magnet was drawing us together. The feeling made everything else around us insignificant, fading into the mundane background. There was no warning when the desire for one another would overtake us. More than once we had we lost ourselves in an airplane bathroom, a darkened limo, or even at the Carriage House. We were powerless against it. It would be unnerving if it weren’t so honest and pure.
"Stefan," I whimpered, capturing his lips in a searing kiss, only to pull away needlessly breathless. "Promise me you won't stop…ever. I can't lose this…us."
"Never. I would rather die." He shook his head and his honesty plunged us headfirst into passion. To turn back now, despite the threats that loomed around each corner, what secrets needed to be discovered, would physically tear us apart. It would wreck us both to stop the roller coaster of lust and love that had immobilized us. We needed each other more than air, more than blood.
I couldn't find it in me to be apologetic when his impatient fingers ripped and tore at our remaining clothes, when skin finally met skin, and when the sigh of perfect contentment ghosted across my face as he sank as deeply as he could inside of me, joining us as one. One of his long, muscular arms held me tight to him while the other braced the wall. My head fell to his shoulder and I glanced between us. It was difficult to tell with our immortal flesh where one of us ended and the other began, with our hips and legs pressed so tightly together.
Leaving wet mouthed kisses up his neck, I only pulled away to meet his stare. I loved the tousle of his golden, sex-wrecked hair, the gleam of his obsidian eyes, the kiss-bruised lips, and the heat of his breath over my flesh. "I want more," I groaned hoarsely. I was overcome with the feel of him inside of me, surrounding me, caging me against the wall with his powerful body.
"You have become insatiable," Stefan murmured seductively. His muscles rolled smoothly under his pale flesh as he drove into me. "I love it."
Slipping his fingers into my hair at the nape of my neck, he gripped hard, letting me know that this would not be gentle, that he needed hard, fast and deep. Using the wall and his shoulders, I braced myself, crying out his name when he began a deep, thrusting pace. Stefan’s lips roved down my neck, roughly sucking my flesh into his mouth as he continued to take me against the wall.
I couldn't help the long, low growl I released; nor could I stop myself from clenching rhythmically around him. It was when his fangs grazed along my jaw at the same time his velvet voice purred, "Mine," that I completely shattered, totally forgetting everything but the feeling of being wrapped in his arms and the pleasant, boneless sensation that spread over me.
He wasn't far behind me. His head fell back and the roar he released vibrated through our joined bodies. His arm tightened around me and my fingernails sunk into his shoulders, leaving behind tiny crescents.
Stefan offered a hoarse laugh as his lips brushed over mine. “How is it that you manage to destroy me?”
His handsome face was relaxed, the tiny worry lines smoothed away. Wrapping myself around him, I locked my feet around his hips. Affectionately, I nudged my nose against his. “It seems like we both have the same problem.”
He raised a single blond eyebrow as his hands cupped my ass. He carried me into our bedroom and we fell to the bed in a tumble of arms and legs. I managed to right myself and I sat up, my hands twisting nervously in my lap.
Stefan silently watched me, his mind probing mine. He knew what I wanted but was waiting for me to voice my request. Drawing in an unnecessary breath, I blurted it out before I lost my nerve. "I want to go home."
Stefan blinked twice and his blue eyes looked confused. "You are home. Our home."
"No. I want to
look through my uncle's belongings. The last time..." My voice broke and I looked away. "I was mourning and didn't pay attention or know what to look for. I may have missed important things…”
His index finger slipped over my lips before I could say more.
"Only mental talk. Follow my lead." His voice rang clearly in my mind. He dropped his finger and traced my lips with the tip. "Then we go. We tell no one our exact destination. We fly into the biggest airport and drive. We will hide in plain sight."
Aloud, he spoke softly. He sat up beside of me and his hand stroked my arm quietly. “Of course. There are parts of your human life you need to attend to.”
"I hate this.” I moved to snuggle against his side. "Is it safe for us to leave?"
"It would be no safer if we stayed." Stefan looked at me pointedly, switching to mental talk. "After all, the tracker is dead."
I remembered Adolfo's tracking abilities. He'd been killed in the explosion that had nearly killed Stefan. I went still in his arms, our bond churning from fire to silk. He kissed the top of my head and mentally spoke the words I'd been dreading as he placed me back against the headboard of the bed so he could easily face me. "Your father is likely waiting us out. He will strike when we least expect it. He will choose to attack the weakest link."
The weakest link. Was that how he saw Stefan? Or me? We were one complete being. If one of us were to perish...the other would as well.
Or was it Anna and Nikolaus? My brother’s abilities were dangerous and he was close to bonding to Anna. She'd shown no discernible talent, but killing her would destroy my brother. And then there was sweet Lukas...
"Lukas will be fine. I have taught him everything I know. He knows where to hide and how to do it. We have been hiding for over a hundred years." Stefan rested his chin on the top of my head. "But we will need to change locations. It is no longer safe here."
"Where..." I blurted out, not thinking. My heart sank as I though about leaving this apartment. I’d come to think of it as the first real home I’d had since Garrett had died.
Stefan cut me off with a swift shake of his head and a tap to his temple. "This apartment could be bugged. Nothing but mental talk when it comes to strategic planning."
He'd advised mental talk during Nigel and Amir's strange visit. Nigel seemed uncomfortable as he stood with Amir, his eyes boring into Stefan's as Amir addressed them. Nigel didn't trust Amir. He was obviously trying his best to warn Stefan of something…but what?
Amir was now next door at Lukas' apartment. When we chose to leave, our departure would have to be discreet and quick. There could be no lengthy goodbyes. The more miles we put between us, the better.
"What's happened, Stefan?" I whispered. His shoulders were tense as he stretched across the foot of the bed, sleek and almost cat-like in his movements. It reminded me of those first days together in Bali when I'd tried to deny that I loved him then. But I'd known that very moment...that very first night my heart knew it had found its soul mate.
His eyes flickered up to mine, his handsome face lined with concern. He simply shook his head and rested his cheek against my thigh. On reflex, my fingers shot to smooth through his silky blond hair, attempting to sort through his thoughts. He knew Nigel was hiding something; however, Amir was sticking close to him for a reason. Amir's presence alone muddled Stefan's psychic ability, leaving him only to strategize and speculate. Unless Amir told Stefan his plans, he'd be in the dark.
"I do not know. Something has changed now that Lenora and Adolfo are gone. Power struggles and mistrust are not good bedmates." His voice floated through my mind. He relaxed marginally underneath my touch and I continued to absently stroke his head.
"Then we should stay. See this out." I mused mentally. “I don’t want anyone to suffer because of me.”
Stefan sprang up and kneeled beside me on the bed. His eyes searched mine for the longest time. "No. We need to know what your abilities truly are and the truth. Your uncle's notes may hold the answers. You deserve to know the truth. We deserve to know the truth. I could not live with myself if I kept your heritage from you.”
I licked my lips nervously. My mind slipped back to the odd, detached way Amir's amber eyes had passed over me. He'd been appraising me, attempting to look for obvious changes. Something wasn't sitting right. His impassioned pleas seemed insincere...and rehearsed.
I didn't look away when I voiced my biggest fear. "And if they don't?"
He sighed heavily, but his unblinking gaze never faltered. "Then it does not. Will it change how you feel about me? About us?"
Beautiful bastard. He didn't need to ask me. He was goading me, wanting a reaction. Hoisting an arched eyebrow, I pretended to think about it for a moment or two. I pursed my lips and tapped my chin as if I was really considering the possibilities.
"You. You drive me crazy," he said as his thumbs caressed my cheekbones. He chuckled darkly. "You make me forget reason."
Shooting him a startled look, I ran my hands over the rippled muscles of his stomach. They clenched under my touch and a low moan rumbled in his chest.
"Oh really? Join the club," I sighed, stretching to place a light kiss on the dip between his collarbones. "Does it worry you?"
He wound his fingers through my long hair and pulled my head back, exposing my neck. He placed a combination of tiny nips and soft kisses over my exposed skin. His blazing blue eyes were fierce as they met mine. "Yes. You cloud my judgment. My life centers around you, Josephine. Your safety and your happiness is all that matters now. Yet I do not consider this a weakness. We are stronger together."
I smiled at his deliberate choice of words, knowing they came from his heart. “I love you. It’s important that I talk to Nikolaus.” My fingers dragged over the stubble on his face. “And we need to talk to Anna and Lukas. I guess it’s time to move.”
Stefan nodded in agreement, his handsome face solemn. “Tomorrow.”
Chapter 4 - Line in the Sand
"Do you want to explain why Lukas and Anna are both frantically working the phones next door? What's going on?" Nikolaus asked. He glanced between Stefan and myself for an answer. We were both stone faced, refusing to give anything away.
I knew this wouldn’t be easy with my brother after I’d made the call to see him this morning. I’d anticipated his reaction, carefully planning out my answers. We were cut from the same cloth. We were both difficult, argumentative and stubborn.
Stefan left my side and lowered his large frame in the chair by the window. He didn’t relax; he simply sat and tapped out a nervous rhythm on his thigh as his blue eyes followed my every move. He was giving us our space, yet still close enough to intervene if the questions became too difficult to answer. Honestly, I was on my own. Stefan and I could easily communicate telepathically because of our bond, but he didn’t have that advantage with Nikolaus.
Focusing back on my brother, I studied him briefly. I could see his agitation building as he waited for my answer. His wild, dark hair was rumpled from frequent passes of his fingers and his lips were tense. "Long version or short?" I finally asked, exhaling loudly. I was hoping he’d go for the short version and this could be over quickly.
His fingers brushed through his dark hair, making it stick up in all directions. "Fuck, Josie. Why is it always complicated? I just need facts. Something concrete."
Tapping my temple, I thought to Nikolaus instead of talking. "Anna is arranging for movers. It's not safe here. The walls may have ears."
His green eyes tightened and I caught him looking over the living room of our apartment. I almost expected him to start lifting vases and looking behind the artwork on the walls for bugs, but he simply waited for me to explain.
Verbally, I spoke. "Anna's settling things. Human things. She's never had the chance since her…change.”
His dark eyebrows rose until I thought they’d disappear into his hairline. He rubbed his lips with his fingers. "Safe for who? You? Or all of us?"
Shrugging, I flippe
d my long hair over my shoulder. "All of us. I'm not willing to chance it, Nik."
Nikolaus began to walk around the room, lifting up sculptures and pulling books from the bookshelf, just as I thought he’d do. He glanced over at me with a half-smile. "And what is Lukas up to? He’s acting like he’s on a party line."
Oh boy. This was going to be the part where things were going to become difficult for him. "He's making travel plans for Stefan and myself."
He froze with a heavy book in his hand. He didn’t make any effort to move. He simply stood, his shoulders slumping. "You're leaving?"
Nodding, I stepped closer to my brother. Once I was close enough, I placed a gentle hand on his tattooed arm. "I have things to wrap up at Garrett's house. There will be a day I won’t be able to return. You know this."
He slammed the book on the shelf with a loud thump, causing me to jump from the impact. "It’s settled. I’m going with you. You need to tell Lukas to add another person to your party."
Stefan's finger tapping stopped abruptly, drawing our attention to him. His voice was gravelly and deep when he spoke. "The fewer involved is best."
Nikolaus ignored Stefan and spun so he could grip my shoulders. "Garrett was my uncle too. Please, Josie. I need closure too."
His words cut like a knife and guilt crept in through the wounds his words inflicted, gripping my chest like a vice. "I know he was your uncle. But you need to stay here with Anna and help her. Some of this won’t be easy for her to handle.” Silently, I pled with him to understand. “If Kian finds her alone...who knows what could happen. I need you here to handle things and support Anna. She needs you now more than ever."
I wasn't playing fair. I watched him flinch at the thought of our father and Anna together. I just needed him to understand he couldn't come. This was something Stefan and I had to do alone. We couldn't travel with a huge entourage. That would draw attention to us and we needed to fit in, disappear in the crowd. Four ethereal immortals and a half-human hybrid would not allow us to just ‘fit in’. We’d be remembered, regardless how many memories we wiped with our influence.
Ascend (The Vampire Destiny Series Book #4) Page 6
