Watching as he stroked the diamond and ruby ring with his long finger, I leaned against his muscular arm. “When I was changing, I was afraid I’d lost you. There were so many things I wanted to do. I wanted to marry you.”
His face remained impassive, but I felt the change in his mood. Surprise and happiness surged through him at my words. I could also feel a bit of his possessive nature purr with satisfaction at being able to claim me in every way possible.
“I still do, you know. I still want to be your wife even though…even though things are different,” I mumbled against his bicep. It was impossible for me to blush, but it didn’t stop me from feeling embarrassed at my admission.
“It is yours. We will plan for it, yes?” Stefan kissed my forehead softly. He intertwined our fingers and his thumb rubbed over my hand softly.
Overhead, I heard our flight being called. Stefan stood and pulled me to my feet. Drawing in a nervous breath, my teeth tugged at my lip. I didn’t want to let him down.
“You could never let me down, vackra. You can do this,” Stefan encouraged, a crooked smile alighting his face. “Come. Let us start our adventure. We have days of uninterrupted time together. We may never want to leave.”
As I followed along behind him, my mind was deluged with all of the things we could do without someone walking in or waiting for us. We’d be completely alone, free to our own devices. Suddenly I didn’t dread the short airplane ride nearly as much as I had before.
He leaned down, his warm breath tickling my ear. “And you call me shameless.”
***
The airplane ride had been monotonous and I found that there were only a few times I found myself to be uncomfortable. Stefan had sensed my control falter and had pushed strength my way, giving me a much boost when I needed it most.
We’d rented a car at the airport in Columbus and had driven the hour and a half into Athens. I watched the scenery pass by in a blur as Stefan drove down the interstate, my eyes taking in the familiar landmarks of my youth. Everything was green and lush, the rolling hills a welcome change from the concrete and asphalt that surrounded us everyday. As we got closer to Athens, I found myself nervously clenching my hands. I hadn’t been back since the death of Garrett and Meredith. It was sensory overload and all of my emotions had rushed to the surface, raw and painful.
Once we’d turned onto the country road that would lead me to my uncle’s home, my breath came out in ragged pants. As we came to the crest of a small hill, I pointed at the house with a shaky hand and Stefan steered the car up the long driveway. He pulled to a stop beside of an old, but well maintained farmhouse. Painted a gleaming white, I’d seen to it that everything was updated and kept in order on the off chance I’d want to come home.
And here I was after so many years away. Home.
As if in a trance, I shoved open the door and stumbled out of the car. I headed up the remainder of the driveway, inhaling deep breaths of clean, sweet air as gravel crunched under my feet. I turned in small circles, taking everything in.
Stefan stopped at my side and offered me a smile of comfort. His hand reached out for mine. “It is getting late.”
Blankly, my eyes swept the property, noticing the shadows that hung over the dark house. “You’re right. C’mon, let’s go in.”
I started to lead him to the door but he pulled me back. Confused, I craned my neck to stare up into his handsome face. It was etched with worry, his sea blue eyes stormy. I could sense his unease and apprehension. “Vackra, are you ready to do this? Can you handle confronting your past?”
Swallowing, my eyes slid closed. Inhaling sharply, I reopened them and nodded. “I have to do this, Stefan. We didn’t come all this way to stand in the yard. If there’s something here, I want to find it. For us.”
His fingers ran up my arm and shoulder, his large hand swallowing one side of my cheek with his palm. “I will be with you. Wherever you lead, I will be behind you. If you feel the need to turn around, there is no shame. You have to know your limits.”
My much smaller hand covered his as it cradled my face. “I know. I couldn’t do this without you.”
Reluctantly pulling away, my boots stomped up each step until I stood on the wrap around front porch, still scattered with the familiar Adirondack chairs that had been here during my last visit. My feet were heavy as I shifted from foot to foot, hesitantly heading to the screen. Slowly opening it, for a moment my fingers drifted over the heavy wood door, flicking the cool brass doorknocker with my fingertip.
Sighing, I had to stop stalling. I’d made it this far; there was no turning back. It was now or never.
Digging the key out of my jean pocket, I swiftly unlocked the door and pushed it open, unprepared for the deluge of memories to hit me like a punch to my gut.
Crossing the threshold, my eyes took in the darkened room. Overwhelmed at the emotion of being back in my childhood home, my legs swayed for a moment. My keener sense of smell was able to pick up the faint scent of my aunt and uncle in the house after five years of vacancy. Squaring my shoulders, I reached over and flipped on a light switch, flooding the room with bright light. Like ripping off a band-aide, I knew the faster I did this the better. But it didn’t stop the pain that gripped my silent heart as I walked from room to room.
During my slow exploration of the familiar house, I was never alone. Stefan shadowed behind me, his soothing presence the only thing that kept me from coming completely unhinged and kept me tethered to reality. He was my safe harbor, the calm in the storm that raged within me.
The rooms were mostly empty, the remaining furniture covered with heavy sheets. They each brought back a different memory, some more difficult to bear than others. By the time I reached my bedroom, I was close to losing my feeble grip on my emotions. This was the only intact room in the house. My double bed was stripped and covered with the same heavy drop cloth, but seeing the bookcase lined with books, the trinkets from my childhood, the faded candid snap shots of myself with Garrett and Meredith caused a broken sob to catch in my throat. I’d left them behind, wanting to leave the hurt along with them. Now they were like a slap in the face, reminding me of what I’d lost.
There were so many memories and they all seemed to hit me at once. I was trying my best to remember only the good; but in the back of my mind, rage was throbbing like a toothache. One vampire had destroyed the only family I knew and it was my own father.
Bitter and seething, I dropped on the edge on the bed, sending a fine mist of dust to scatter in the air around the room. Stefan went to the window, pushing the curtains aside and opening it, letting clean, fresh air flow into the stuffy room. He only lingered at the window a moment before he slowly approached me, stopping only to stand before me, towering over me. Twisting my hands carelessly in my lap, I stared vacantly up into his concerned face. His blue eyes were locked on me. He crouched down at my feet and I reached for him, sighing as I felt the comfort of his arms encircle my waist tightly. His warm breath tickled my neck and his soft lips kissed the soft, sensitive spot behind my ear.
I knew he wanted me to say something, to verbalize the pain I felt as I toured my childhood home, but I simply didn't have it in me at the moment. He sensed it and wisely just held me, allowing me to have my moment and was willing to wait for me to speak.
"I feel like an outsider here. I didn't expect to feel like this, Stefan," I said in a halting rush, pressing my forehead against his and squeezing my eyes closed. “This was my home. And somehow Kian has managed to taint every memory I have. Every. Fucking. Memory.”
Seething inside, my fingers gripped the shoulders of his shirt as I fought with the last bit of restraint I possessed. He rose so our faces were almost level and the tender, yet brief brush of his lips across mine set fire to my soul.
"Confronting your past after your change is always difficult. Your knowledge that Kian was responsible for their death makes it worse. We will not talk. You do not have to worry," he crooned softly against my lips,
his voice laced with understanding and comfort. "Tell me what you need, vackra. Whatever I have is yours. You know this."
His selfless offering diffused my pent up anger and my body trembled as I let out a rush of air. I knew that I sounded needy, but I didn’t care. I finally begged him for what I needed. "Kiss me. And don't stop…I need to feel something real. I want to feel like I belong somewhere."
A muscle in his chiseled jaw clenched and the intensity in his eyes gleamed brilliantly. His hands gripped my hips. “You do belong somewhere. You belong with me. Your place is at my side, for an eternity.”
Releasing a breathless moan, his words did nothing but incite me. “Then show me I belong.” My lip trembled as my voice wavered. “Show me…”
Sliding closer, I leaned over him as he did exactly as I asked. He kissed me with a gentle, languid kiss, trying to slow my frantic pace down. He knew what I needed better than I did. He was willing to put me back together after helplessly watching me fall apart, piece-by-piece.
His hands held my waist, but they glided up my sides to the inside of my jacket, which he effortlessly pushed off my shoulders. I let go of him just long enough to shirk out of it, only to reach for his face again, slipping my fingers into his hair to secure him to me. Firm hands cupped my ass, giving it a squeeze over the outside of my jeans, tongues danced, swirled, tasted as I loomed over him, and finally, I grasped the bottom of his T-shirt.
"Skin," I whispered against his lips. "I need to feel your skin. Now."
He switched to speak to me telepathically. His lilting voice was like velvet-covered steel. “You are playing with fire. Can you take the heat?”
Chapter 5 - To Have and to Hold
He smirked at me sexily as he licked his lips, his tongue dancing across his lower lip. He pulling back just enough to grasp the thin material that hugged his skin like a glove and wrenched it over his head. Before I could fall back into him, he reached for the hem of my own shirt, gathering it up and tugging it off. My hair spilled over my shoulders in a disheveled mess as my mind mapped out a plan of attack.
Wrapping my shield around him securely, I pushed at him until he fell back with his head at the foot of the bed. I held him immobile until I had safely clamored on top of him, straddling his hips with my thighs.
“Now who’s playing with fire?” I draped my body over him, running my nose over the curve of his cheek to drift over the shell of his ear. “Maybe I’ll show you instead.”
His blue eyes narrowed and his voice slipped into my mind. "Let me go, vackra. It is not wise in your state."
His mental words brought me back to reality. Of course. I was a young vampire, unpredictable and lead only by instinct. With Kian missing, it wasn't safe for me to immobilize him, even as tempting as it was to have him at my mercy. I pulled back the shield and his fingers meticulously began working at the clasp of my bra to quickly remove it, smiling as my breasts spilled free. After lavishing a slow, sensual kiss to first one nipple and then the next, he went to work on the button and zipper of my jeans. He loosened them just enough so his rough hands could slip into the back to grip my ass firmly, grinding me down over his hard cock.
The sounds of our ragged breathing filled the room. I could only focus on the man beneath me, the satin of his skin, the hardness of his muscles and the grace of his flexing biceps. Wrapping my hand around the latter, I grasped against the firm, tight bulges, pinning him to the bed.
My hair created a curtain around us. Stefan stayed quiet and let me have this moment. He could hear every thought I was having, and most were almost obscene in nature. He cracked a quick smile, his fingers delving deeper into my jeans to find out just how desperate I was to reconnect.
"Josephine," he whispered, locking gazes with me. I'm sure our eyes matched, black to black. "So wet…for me?"
I couldn't answer him aloud. Most likely if I’d tried, it would've come out as a string of nonsensical words, not making a bit of sense to either of us. Driven by desire and the growing need swirling in the pit of my stomach, it was easier to let my mind guide him because more than the physical desire, my heart yearned to be joined with him in every way. As he read my mind, my jeans shredded beneath his hands and my panties were destroyed, all while I sat astride him.
"Come here," he whispered, guiding me up his torso until my knees were planted on either side of his head. As I stared down at him, I almost came undone at the love and lust that had darkened his handsome face. "I love you, min hjarta. Let me take care of you now."
His mouth met my heated pussy without warning, his tongue, lips and teeth all working to bring my frantic feelings down a notch or two. My head collapsed against my back as Stefan worked thoroughly and rapidly to bring me to the peak of ecstasy. He let me ride his face, grip his hair and cry out his name. My wanton enthusiasm earned me the most glorious of growls against my pussy, inciting me further.
He let me take and that was exactly what I needed. His hands gripped, his mouth kissed and his lips suckled until I thought I'd go mad. My insides wound tighter and tighter until my thighs were practically vibrating around his head. When the coil finally snapped, his name fell from my lips in a wild shriek.
Before I had a chance to come down from my high, I found myself planted at the head of the bed, Stefan crawling over me like a large, sleek cat.
"You are perfection," he crooned, his tongue traveling over the length of my neck. "To hear you cry out my name is something I will never tire of hearing." He dropped a deep, toe-curling kiss to my mouth, his teeth tugging at my lips. "I want to feel you. All of you."
His lips met mine again, and I lost myself to my own flavor and the sweet taste of his tongue. The edge was gone, but my moment was far from over. I could feel it in my chest, the grip of my hands as I pulled at his broad, strong back, and the twist of my stomach when his hips pushed forward, gliding his cock through what seemed my never-ending wetness.
Stefan lowered himself just a little, allowing a bit more of his weight to lie against me. His cock was hard, heavy as he continued to grind between my folds, but when he slipped just inside of me, he stopped.
Holding himself as still as a statue, he gazed down at me. He was wearing a mixture of emotions all over his face…longing, reverence, possessiveness, and tenderness. The most beautiful of smiles curled at the corners of his mouth. "Beautiful, Josephine. Now… Now, I can take my time with you…"
With that, he slipped slowly inside of me, filling me and taking away the ability to think. The whole world could've ended, and we'd never have known it. The feeling of him inside if me made me want to rip the bed apart with my clenching hands. Knowing I could easily do that now made it that much more exciting.
He flipped me to my stomach. Possessive hands pushed my breasts to the bed and pulled my ass higher, his fingertips drifting over the small of my back and curve of my cheeks.
"If you could see yourself like this...."Stefan growled. He slammed into me, his cock filling me completely. All I could feel was his hips meeting the curve of my ass. He was relentless, pounding into me until all I could do was meet his thrusts with abandon. I was truly his equal and there was no need for him to be gentle.
"Stefan...harder!"
His fingers tightened on my ass. "How much more do you want?"
"Make me forget it all...make me only think of you…" I buried my head into the bed and the mattress muffled my cry. The sound was keening and filled with desperation.
His answering growl rattled deep in his chest. My hips rolled back to meet every deep plunge and I felt myself tightening around him, my inner walls pulsing around him. Tumbling into ecstasy, my nails ripped into the heavy sheet covering my bed. I heard the bed groan ominously under the force of our lovemaking as Stefan inched near his own climax.
“Knulla! Du är för jävla perfekt!!” His fingertips dug into my flesh as his hips thrust erratically. His orgasm was loud and powerful, his body crumpling over me, his heavy breath fanning over my shoulders. For the first time
, he made no effort to move. He let me accept the comforting weight of his powerful frame as we laid in the silence of my old bedroom.
He withdrew and I immediately missed the connection, reeling at the emptiness I felt. He rolled to my side and pulled me against him. My fingers absently traced patterns over his chest.
“Thank you,” I whispered. I snuck a glance up at him through my eyelashes. “You’ve stood by me through everything. You’ve never faltered once…and tonight…tonight you knew what I needed and you took care of me again. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to live up to that.”
His stunningly sculpted face was peaceful. His fingertips brushed my hair back from my forehead and the back of his hand swept down my cheek reverently. “You never have to thank me for loving you. There is nothing I would not do for you.”
I heard the truth ringing clear in his words. “Stefan?”
He chuckled softly and leaned closer, his lips against my temple. “Ask.”
“We’re going to be safe, right? I hate being scared.” My voice cracked. “Even if it’s a lie, just tell me we’ll be alright and I’ll believe you.”
His mouth smiled against my skin. “We will be fine. I promise you.”
The bond between us hummed and I detected no deception in his words. He honestly believed that everything would work out. He’d move heaven and hell to keep that promise.
“Sleep, vackra.” His gentle command was the last thing I remembered as my eyes lost their struggle to stay awake.
***
"You were watching me again," he accused lightly. He hadn't looked up from his chore. He was crouched down, sorting through yet another chest tucked away in the attic. His tight t-shirt stretched across the firm muscles of his back and his faded jeans clung to his powerful thighs. "Since I have met you, I have spent more times sorting through boxes and books. It is bordering on becoming a bit of a joke. Your non stop eye fucking me is not helping matters."
Ascend (The Vampire Destiny Series Book #4) Page 8
