She tried to pull her hands away, but he held them tightly. “I knocked on your door, but you didn’t answer, then I saw you as I was headed back to my car. You were walking by the lake with another woman. I started to approach you, but then I saw... I didn’t want to put you on the spot, so I left before either of you saw me, fully expecting to receive a phone call in a few months telling me that you’d had a baby. That call never came.”
She pulled her hands away and stood. “I don’t know what you think you saw, Colby, but—”
“I know what I heard too, Kelly. You were talking about being pregnant. I heard you. You were obviously pregnant and now you show up here with a baby you claim isn’t yours and someone chasing you. If Brady isn’t yours, then I have to ask, what happened to your baby?”
A noise behind her grabbed her attention. She spun around and saw Zeke standing in the doorway. He’d obviously been carrying firewood, because it now piled at his feet. His face was gray, and his eyes were wide with shock.
Her worst fear had been realized. He’d heard Colby’s question.
Zeke approached her. “You were pregnant?” It was an accusation more than a question.
She stumbled over her words, wishing she could shoot daggers into Colby and his big mouth. This was not how she wanted Zeke to find out, but now there was no choice but to come clean. “I—I was pregnant. Colby’s right. He wasn’t imagining it.”
Zeke rubbed his face. “Who was the father, Kelly?”
She glared at him. “Who do you think? It was you. It’s always only been you.”
He spun around and paced the floor, his hands flailing around uncertainly. Finally, he turned back, zeroing in on her. “Then what happened to our child? Where is he? Did you get rid of him without telling me?”
“No!” She was shocked he would even ask that question. She would have hoped he’d thought more of her than that. “I had every intention of telling you, Zeke. I was looking forward to telling you and to being a mom.”
“Then what happened?”
“I lost the baby. I miscarried. I was getting ready to tell you that you were going to be a father.” She took a breath, and the pain of her loss hit her again. “And then you weren’t a father anymore, and I didn’t know what to do. How could I tell you that you were almost a father? I’m sorry. I wanted you to know, but I didn’t want you to think I was so reckless that I couldn’t even take care of our baby.”
Colby’s eyes narrowed, changing from suspicion to understanding. “You didn’t choose it, Kellyanne. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
She appreciated her brother saying so, but it wasn’t really his opinion she wanted to hear. Zeke still hadn’t responded, and the look on his face still held shock and disgust.
“I couldn’t take care of our child, and now I can’t take care of Brady. I’m a failure as a mother.”
Colby tried to intervene again. “Kelly—”
“No, you’re not,” Zeke finally stated. “You’ve taken great care of Brady, and I know you’ll make a great mom one day to your own child.”
She looked up into his face. “But not to our child, right?” All her hopes and dreams were fading away right in front of her.
He looked at her, his eyes sorrowful. “You should have told me, Kelly. I could have been there for you. You should have allowed me to go through this with you. Instead, you denied me my right to know I had fathered a child.”
“I’m sorry, Zeke. I was just so ashamed. I should have taken better care of myself. This might not have happened.”
“And it might still have happened. I find it hard to believe you had any control over that. I don’t blame you for miscarrying our baby.” His jaw tightened before he continued. “But I do blame you for keeping it from me.”
She’d known this was coming, but she’d fallen in love with Zeke anyway. She wanted to make a life with him, and now that her shame had been revealed, he didn’t want her.
“I’m sorry.”
Zeke pushed his hands through his hair and paced the room, his agitation growing. “I shouldn’t be surprised. Why am I surprised? I thought you had changed, Kelly. I thought you had grown, but you’re still the same selfish woman I’ve always known. You didn’t tell me because you needed me to be here with you. You kept this from me so I wouldn’t leave. That doesn’t sound like someone who’s grown.”
“Please, Zeke, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I tried to tell you several times. I wanted you to know.”
He spun to face her. “But not enough to pick up the phone and call me.”
Irritation bit through her. She’d apologized, but he wouldn’t listen to reason. “I was upset, Zeke. Can’t you understand that? I lost something precious. A baby I wanted so much. I was devastated. I was a mess. What could you have done if you’d known? How could you have changed that?”
“I could have been there for you.” He spat the words at her, his anger and indignation taking over. “I could have comforted you and grieved with you. You denied me that. Your selfishness denied me everything.”
His answer stunned her. She had expected him to be angry, but she’d thought he might at least listen to her. She couldn’t go backward in time and make a different decision. She’d apologized. There wasn’t anything more she could do.
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” she whispered. She picked up her hat and jacket and walked down the steps.
Zeke followed her. “What are you doing? Where are you going?”
“I need a break, Zeke. I’m taking a ride.” She grabbed the rein of one of the horses and climbed into the saddle.
“You’re running away. Again.” His tone had a bite in it that stung her. Tears pressed against her eyes. He was right, but she needed to get away from him before she did or said something she would regret.
She turned the horse and took off, leaving him there. She knew he wouldn’t come after her, not with Brady still inside. He would stay and protect him even if it meant watching her ride away. She was relying on his decency to let her go.
* * *
Zeke stomped back up the steps into the cabin and slammed the door hard, causing Brady to startle and start to cry. Colby walked over and spoke to the baby, settling him down.
Shame filled Zeke for his hasty action. He hadn’t meant to scare Brady. Kelly just made him so mad sometimes, and seeing her once again run away from her problems left a bitter taste in his mouth.
He’d thought he meant something to her, but then how could she have kept this from him?
“I’m sorry I said anything,” Colby stated, picking up Brady and rocking him against his shoulder to settle him.
“It’s not your fault,” Zeke said, although he did wish Colby had never come, or that he’d walked back to the cabin minutes later and never heard the terrible truth, never learned the secret Kellyanne had kept from him.
“I’ll watch the baby if you want to go talk to her?”
They did need to talk, but he wasn’t sure he was up to it. Seeing her leave had reopened that wound inside of him that reminded him he wasn’t good enough. He shook his head and took Brady from Colby. “She’ll be back.”
He knew she might leave him, but she wouldn’t run away without taking Brady. She loved this little fella too much.
Colby picked up his hat. “I’ll go make sure she’s all right.”
Zeke nodded and watched Colby walk away. When he was gone, Zeke fell to his knees.
God, what am I supposed to do with this information?
He’d been ready for a family for so long, and learning that Kelly had been pregnant and lost the baby hurt him. She’d had months to process it, and months to tell him, yet she’d chosen not to.
Brady began to cry, so Zeke got up and placed him back onto his stomach on the blanket and arranged a few toys for him to play with as he tried to figure out what he was going to do.
He couldn’t abandon Kellyanne and Brady. That wasn’t even an option. He’d made a promise to keep them safe and protected, and he intended to keep it. But how were they supposed to continue staying in this cabin alone together after what he’d just learned? And how could he ever truly forgive her for what she’d stolen from him?
He’d learned through studying the Bible that forgiveness was a choice, not a feeling. He thought he’d forgiven his father for his actions and put that anger behind him, but now it was rolling back and smothering him in the guise of yet another betrayal by someone he loved. He tried to shake off the feeling that this was all he deserved. He knew that was not true. Jesus had died for him. No matter how much pain Kelly had caused his heart, that didn’t compare to the sacrifice Jesus had made for him.
He had to forgive her, and he would. Of course, he would. He loved her. As much as he tried to fight it, he loved her and knew he would eventually forgive her for anything.
He heard footsteps on the porch and figured either she’d returned or Colby had. He sighed. He still didn’t know what he was going to say to her. So many angry words pressed against his lips, and he pushed them back. He wanted to have a rational conversation, and anger would derail that and send her on the defensive again. He needed her to stay, and that meant he had to have the cooler head.
He turned as the door opened, but it wasn’t Kellyanne or Colby. Thomas Stanford, the man who’d set the fire at the ranch and tried to kidnap Brady, stood in the doorway, and another man stood behind him.
Zeke eyed the rifle by the door. He’d never be able to reach it, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t fight.
The men ran at him, grabbing him around the neck and pulling him to the ground. Zeke fought back as Stanford and the other man slammed his head against the counter. Stars appeared in his vision, and his ears rang, but he jabbed Stanford with his elbow and sent the man falling backward. Brady cried at the commotion, but Zeke couldn’t take the time to comfort him. The other man grabbed Zeke from behind and pulled him to the ground before picking up a pan from the stove and slamming it against Zeke’s head.
Pain burst through him, and the spots in his eyes returned then faded. Everything started to fade. He was losing consciousness fast.
His head felt like deadweight, but Zeke managed to look up at Stanford, who was wiping blood from his nose. “Grab the kid,” Stanford told his accomplice, who hurried over and picked up the crying baby.
No!
He tried to yell, but nothing came out. The men left the cabin, the sound of Brady’s cries mingling with their boots on the hard steps. He tried to pull himself up but couldn’t move.
God, please help me.
The room turned over and over, sending him into a dizzying spin as darkness pulled him under.
EIGHT
Kellyanne pushed the horse into a gallop along the riverbank as tears fell from her face. Rain began to mirror her mood. Finally, she stopped close by the river and jumped off.
She’d destroyed everything. She’d lost Zeke for good. She didn’t deserve to be Brady’s mother. She didn’t deserve Zeke or his love.
Why did she always mess everything up? Everything she tried to do ended in disaster. She’d tried hard to make a life for herself in Austin away from the ranch, away from her family, but it had all fallen apart.
She pushed tears away and watched the water flowing down the river. It never stopped running and that irritated her. Life, it never gave up. It just kept going.
She knew all the consequences of her choices were her own fault. She should have tried to live more as her parents wanted, the Christian way of life. She’d rebelled because she didn’t want to follow a God who made decisions for her like her brothers did. She knew they meant well and only wanted what was best for her, and a realization dawned on her.
God wanted what was best for her.
Maybe He wasn’t trying to control her. Maybe He was trying to protect her. Her family and Zeke had rules, rules she didn’t like but that she was following because they were meant to protect her and Brady and keep them safe.
She certainly had made too many mistakes on her own by ignoring God’s ways. She’d done life her way, and it wasn’t good. She wasn’t happy. But Zeke had found God, he’d decided to follow Jesus, and she could see the change in him. He had a peace about him that she envied.
She was so tired of fighting, so tired of the drudgery. So tired of blaming herself for everything that went wrong. Lisa’s death wasn’t her fault. The miscarriage wasn’t her fault. She hadn’t placed Brady in harm’s way. In her haste to keep her family from trying to rule her life, she’d missed out on them being there for her.
She knelt beside the river and tossed in a branch.
But would God give her a second chance? Did He still want her even after all she’d done and how much she’d messed up?
A verse in Romans came back to her. Something about there being no condemnation for people who loved Jesus and accepted Him as savior. She liked the idea of that. Someone who would look at all she’d done and not condemn her.
It was what she wished for from Zeke, but she knew he would never forgive her after what she’d done. Maybe the miscarriage hadn’t been her fault, but keeping it from him had been. She should have called him and told him, but she’d been so wrapped up in her own grief and selfishness that she hadn’t thought about him and how he would feel.
She was selfish. She’d been selfish and childish, and it was time she grew up and accepted that she didn’t know everything, and just because she could make her own choices didn’t mean she shouldn’t sometimes listen to other people’s opinions, like her family’s.
She stood and wiped away tears. She was tired of the fighting and pushing away people who loved her. She wanted to be better, wanted to be an example for Brady. But she couldn’t do it alone. She couldn’t make herself into a better person.
God, I need You. I know You sent Your Son to give me a new life. I want that life. I surrender everything to You, Jesus.
From now on, her life would be about other people instead of herself.
It wouldn’t be easy, but she already felt better.
“I thought I heard someone out here.”
She spun around at the voice behind her. Thomas Stanford, the man who’d attacked them at the house, stood only a few feet away.
Her heart pounded against her chest, and she backed away. Blood covered his face, and his nose looked swollen, indicating a recent struggle. Panic gripped her. Had he already been to the cabin? Zeke? Brady? Were they okay? They couldn’t be if Stanford was out here looking like that.
She glanced at his hand and saw he was holding a rifle, one she recognized. It was Zeke’s.
Oh, God, please let them be safe.
“Where did you get that?” she demanded, pointing at the rifle.
He glanced at it and laughed. “From your boyfriend, of course.” He grabbed her arm and dragged her toward him. “You’re coming with me too. The boss wants both you and the kid taken care of.”
Brady! He has Brady!
She determined then that she wasn’t going to fight him. She had to get to Brady and make sure they didn’t hurt him.
But her brother had another idea. She spotted Colby in the brush, gun raised at Stanford’s head. She tried to warn him off, but he fired before she could even capture his attention.
Stanford ducked at the sound and shoved her to the ground. He picked up the rifle, returned fire and then darted into the trees. Colby chased after him for several minutes and fired twice more before returning to her and helping her up.
“Are you okay?”
“Colby, where’s Zeke?”
“I left him back at the cabin. Why?”
“That man, Stanford, he said he has Brady.”
Colby’s jaw tightened. “I didn’t see anyone else
out here besides him. He must have been lying so you’d go with him more willingly.”
That made sense, but she had a sudden, desperate need to make certain. “We have to go back to the cabin. I think Stanford has Zeke’s rifle.”
He nodded, helped her mount her horse, then climbed into his saddle, and they headed back the way she’d come.
She’d been foolish to run away, and all she could think about was getting back to Zeke and Brady. She didn’t know what she would do if she lost either of them.
She pulled the horse to a stop at the cabin and slid off, but something grabbed her attention before she ran outside. On the ground, just feet away, lay a tiny cowboy boot, the same one Brady had been wearing earlier when she’d left him.
She picked it up and swallowed hard. Colby touched her shoulder, and she knew he was thinking the same thing she was. If Brady’s boot was here, Stanford must have taken him. He wouldn’t have been able to do that without Zeke putting up a fight.
She turned and ran up the steps. The front door stood open, and the first thing she saw was Zeke sprawled unconscious on the floor. She ran to him, tears pouring down her face, and they didn’t stop when she realized he was still breathing.
Colby followed her inside and grabbed a wet towel to stop the bleeding from a gash on his head. Kellyanne rushed to check on Brady, but the blanket was empty. She checked the bedroom, but he was gone. Stanford had taken Brady just as he’d claimed.
Zeke had been hurt and Brady was gone. She fell to her knees and sobbed.
* * *
They were nearly back to Zeke’s ranch before his ears stopped ringing from the blow to the head Stanford had given him. He’d awoken to Kellyanne’s sobbing, and that sound would haunt him for the rest of his life.
They’d abandoned the supplies at the cabin, mounted their horses and headed home, with Colby alerting their brothers to what had happened on the radio. By the time they reached the ranch, Josh had an ambulance waiting to check Zeke out.
“I’ve issued an Amber Alert for Brady and locked down the county. If anyone spots Stanford, he won’t get away.”
Texas Baby Cover-Up Page 14
