by Amber Dane
He wanted her.
He took a step towards her and Caroline, her heart pumping, turned and fled.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
He hadn’t come after her last eve and Caroline was glad. But she was not so sure how she would be able to face him this morning. She had been a bundle of emotions and the words he’d spoken while trapped in his night terror…
What really had happened with him and his first wife? Had he driven the woman to her death? By the sounds of the dream it had not sounded that way.
She knew it was not right she found Darc’s touch exciting but the more she thought of his skilled and hot caresses, the warm flush that came to her skin spread all over and always left her trembling. And telling her that she enjoyed him touching her. Aye, she had enjoyed their union immensely.
Mayhap a bit too much.
Was she supposed to be so wanton?
She had listened ofttimes to Helen about the pleasure Cedric had given her, but it sounded naught at all like what Darc had done to her. Caroline felt a hot flush come to her cheeks.
So what if she enjoyed it? Had he not said himself the act was performed for ages? Women had a right to enjoy it too.
Aye, the whores back at Halvard’s had not always been faking. This Caroline knew for some of their shouts and cries of pleasure were deep like her own. But how much experience did she really have to know such things? She only knew she could not get enough of the Norman. He was her husband now and ‘twas his right to take from her as it was her right to take from him.
And she had wanted to make things easy, keep the peace and any harm at bay, had she not? And for her to deny herself some of the sweet torture, why that was not fair, was it?
Caroline shook her head and pushed the irrational and curious thoughts aside and focused on what next she had to do for the day.
She entered the room he had allotted them for her to instruct Kelbie in his education. Kelbie had broken his fast earlier with Laur and now he waited for her to start his lesson.
She groaned and looked up, taking note again of the increased guard inside the castle. That same feeling that had assailed her yestereve returned. Something was indeed afoot.
By the time dusk had fallen Caroline was good and mad that she had yet to see her husband all day and that he had not sought her out to talk about last night. His nightmare. Her lips tingled at the memory of the kiss they’d shared. She didn’t realize she had her fingers pressed to her them until Laur entered her chamber later with a woman at her side.
‘Mildred!’ Caroline exclaimed. The gray-haired woman rushed the rest of the way into the room and Caroline, excited, hugged her close.
‘My lady.’ Mildred said happily.
Caroline stepped back and clasped Mildred’s hands in her own ere she turned back to Laur. ‘Thank you, Laur. That will be all.’
The older servant made a sound and left the room. Caroline turned back to Mildred’s beaming face. ‘Are you faring well, Mildred?”
‘Aye, my lady? I was so happy when word came that you asked for me to come serve you. Thank you.’
‘I have no number in friend’s here anymore than I had at Halvard’s. You were very kind to me and protected me when it counted, Mildred and I shall never forget that. I need someone I can trust and I see in you that I can. How do the rest of Halvard’s’ people fare?’
‘Well, my lady. My lord saw to everyone’s needs and no one goes without. He may be called a beast, but he is fair thus far to all of us.’
Caroline frowned at the woman. ‘Is that so?’
‘And far better than your former husband. Pardon me, my lady. My lord came himself he did to seek me out with your wish.’
Caroline arched a brow and asked, ‘Truly?’
‘Aye. He right did.’
Caroline felt her anger at her husband subside a little. So it took him time, but he had kept his word. The peculiar way Mildred glanced around at the guards in the hall drew Caroline from her musings and she noticed how nervous the woman truly was acting. She was holding something back. She knew something.
Caroline closed the chamber door a little and pulled Mildred aside.
‘Mildred. I want you to trust me too. You would tell me if something else was bothering you, wouldn’t you?’
Mildred hesitated and shook her head. Caroline pressed her other hand to the woman’s shoulder when she made to turn away from her gaze. ‘Mildred. What you tell me shall remain in this room.’
Mildred lifted her teary-eyed gaze to hers and dropped to her knees before her, her head pressed against the back of Caroline’s hands clasped in hers.
‘My lady, there is unrest among many of us. Nay. ‘Tis not because of the new lord. When word reached us that Lord Halvard’s cousin had arrived. Fear ran wild in many. Lord Cedric is-‘ Mildred lowered her head again, pausing. ‘Forgive me, my lady, for being so bold.’
Caroline pulled her up, worried by the woman’s stark expression, and wanted to assure her. ‘Mildred. ’Tis no secret Cedric is no better than Halvard was. We do not know yet what shall become of him. But we must trust my husband will do what is necessary.’ She spoke firmly, even though she herself had not yet come to trust Darc fully.
‘There is something else. The horrible thing that happened in the village.’ Mildred cast her eyes to the floor.
Caroline patted her hands, thinking it was naught more than the mixing of the serfs. ‘What has happened?’
‘I do not wish to cause any trouble. I assumed you already knew, my lady.’
‘Knew what?’
‘You do not know. I shouldn’t have said aught, my lady. I see I’ve erred and fear I’ve spoken too much already. .’
‘Mildred. What is it? You must speak of it now.’
Caroline felt bad at Mildred’s chastised expression that crossed her face. She had not meant to raise her voice and speak so sharply to the woman but the uneasiness that had hung around her neck like dead weight since yesterday rose up in her again. That chill came back to her and Caroline searched Mildred’s fear-filled gaze. The woman whispered so low at first she thought she’d misheard. But when she looked in Mildred’s eyes again she knew she had not. ‘Murders?’ The word froze on her tongue.
‘Three serfs, my lady. Yestereve. Throats slit and no one knows why or who did it.’
Stunned beyond words, Caroline wondered why Darc had not spoken of it with her. She wondered if it had something to do with his nightmare.
She opened her mouth to question Mildred more when Kelbie’s cry came from the other room. They ran out to see him playing and running from a smiling Laur. When the older servant spotted Caroline, she stopped and regained her stiff posture again and pretended as if nothing had been afoot. Caroline gave the servant an odd look and took Kelbie by the hand.
‘Bed time for you little fellow.’
‘But, Mama, we just started.’ Kelbie gave her a pleading look with his lip pushed out.
She ruffled the curls on top of his head. ‘Started what?’
Kelbie turned to look at Laur, his young face waiting for her permission. The old servant grunted, mumbled something incoherent in French and quit the room. Caroline frowned. ‘What were you and Laur doing, Kelbie?’
‘Nothing, Mama.’ He sucked in his top lip and his eyes went wide.
‘Kelbie?’ Caroline leaned near him.
‘I’m ready for bed now.’ he pulled his hand out of hers and raced into the chamber. Caroline gave Mildred a mystified look.
Mildred shrugged. ‘She only pretends to be ill-natured but your son is softening her.’
Caroline rubbed her forehead. Indeed Kelbie had taken a shine to the older servant from the first and seemed to enjoy his time with her. Still, she would have to speak with Laur. She gave a small smile to Mildred.
‘Can I ask a favor of you, my lady?’ Mildred asked, following behind her as they walked into the room after Kelbie into the bedchamber.
Caroline stopped. ‘Of course. What is it?’
Mildre
d stepped closer and wrung her hands. ‘I don’t wish an upset between you and my lord, my lady.’
She knew what Mildred meant. The murders. Caroline reassured her.
Nay, she would not get the kind Mildred into trouble.
She would leave the revealing of the murders to her husband. He should have told her in the first place.
‘I am sure my husband will speak of it as soon as I see him.’
Mildred’s relieved nod made her smile. Caroline prayed for forgiveness over her lie. She’d seen him last night and he’d said naught of it. Renewed anger at him flared again.
Secrets!
CHAPTER NINETEEN
The frigid dawn and news of the murders in the village brought a somber mood over Castle Renald and to the servants as they moved about whispering among themselves doing their chores. Caroline was on edge because she had not yet seen her husband. The upset she felt last eve was still seething in her blood.
Kelbie was taking a noon nap now and she planned to use the time to explore the castle for Cedric. Damn Darc to hell!
He probably would not return again until night, she believed. Caroline moved to clear their half-eaten platter of food from the noon day meal from the table just as Mildred entered the room.
‘Oh, my lady, I will see to that. Looks like he ate a bit more today, hmm?’
Caroline sighed heavily, ‘Aye. He did better than he did this morn.’ She smiled, ‘I am very pleased.’
Mildred smiled and opened her mouth to respond, but her gaze fell on something over Caroline’s shoulder.
An unnamed feeling slammed her gut and she turned to see Darc, a dark scowl on his scarred face and his gaze on her. She swallowed.
‘Leave us. And take the boy with you, Mildred.’ He ordered the servant.
Caroline, ready to protest, but thought better of it at his fierce countenance and stance. Something dangerous blazed in those blue eyes that seemed to glitter from the sunlight shining through the window of the room.
She walked over to the bed and picked up Kelbie and placed him in Mildred’s arms. He stirred slightly before quieting again. Mildred nodded and exited the room on the other side.
Caroline stood stock-still. Her gaze wavered slightly, feeling the hot flush burn her cheeks. She had been wrong. He had returned early. She did not like the feelings stirring up inside her and she walked over and stood near the hearth so he could not see how much his presence affected her. She waited for him to speak.
‘What is the real reason you reached for my dagger in Cedric’s presence? And do not leave out the true reason of how you came to be married to Halvard.’
Caroline spun around and stared at him. She’d been wrong about this too in thinking he would not question her more on the matter after he’d not since the night they were intimate.
Hell, the truth of it, she had hoped he wouldn’t at all. Bitterness filled her mouth and she muttered, ‘You will not understand.’
He came to her side and his hand locked on her wrist, stopping her from leaving his side. ‘Then make me understand.’ Her wide eyes just stared at him. ‘I have given you my word that I would protect you and the boy. But I need to know everything. You must give me your trust.’
She jerked out of his hold, fire sparked in her eyes and Darc felt sorry that he’d been so harsh.
‘Trust?’ she laughed lightly, ‘Think you I owe it because you set my body on fire? It does not mean I am ready to trust you.’
Heat slammed him at her words.
But now was not the time to think of the passion she inflamed in him. His eyes darkened on her. ‘You must if I am to understand. You have to start somewhere.’
‘And what of your trust to me?’ She threw back at him.
‘We are not talking about that. It is you with this heavy secret that you bear which has you ready to kill a man in the king’s presence.’ He reached out to caress her cheek, but dropped his hand before his fingers touched her skin.
Caroline let out a deep sigh. She had worried over this until it’d made her sick, now the time had come and she found she truly wanted to tell him all of it. She’d carried it long enough.
Darc released her wrist as she tugged free and watched her as she walked over to the table where a full carafe of wine sat untouched. She poured some wine into the empty goblet. He could see her hands shaking from where he stood. She lifted the goblet and drank it down without stopping. When she was done, she refilled it and this time took lady-like sips before she set the goblet back on the table before she faced him again. Her lips deepened in color from the red wine were parted and he heard the heavy sigh escape. His gaze dropped to her clasped and reddened hands then returned to her face. The painful look in her eyes bothered him.
He had pressed her for this knowing she’d left out some of the truth the first time around. Now he was not so sure he truly needed to know it. He opened his mouth to tell her thus when she spoke.
‘My father had wardship over Helen, his dead brother's only child. We grew up like sisters. Inseparable Helen and I. My parents came together late in their lives and after they had me, my brother was born. But he died before his second month. Helen came to us soon after that. When my mother died later, my father, under the weight of his heavy grief agreed to the marriage of Helen to our new neighbor, Halvard of Fulvyn. Helen and I disliked him straight away.
‘His presence in front of my father had been a ruse. He played the charming gentleman convincingly. Nonetheless, she and I saw through his pretense. We had glimpsed his dark side enough through the hasty and brief courtship. He appeared a wealthy English nobleman, but he hid much. Before they wed, Cedric appeared.
‘A person would have had to been a blind fool not to see the immediate attraction betwixt them. I warned Helen but she followed after her heart in the end.’ Her bottom lip trembled and Darc thought she would stop, but she continued. ‘The night we left, Halvard caught me alone and I knew his intentions went beyond Helen.’
‘And you said nothing of this to your father?’
She swayed and Darc knew she was no doubt feeling the effects of the wine. He motioned to the bench at the foot of the bed for her to sit. Her unsteady steps confirmed his suspicions, but he did not want to touch her. He sat down.
‘I did not have the chance.’ Caroline was shaking her head as she sat down beside him, her thigh pressed against his.
Darc's eyes fell on where their bodies connected, her warmth slid into his veins. She went on. ‘Halvard knew I recognized his open lust. It had already been arranged for me to go off with Helen for the first few months after she wed him. ‘Twas not that far away. However, after seeing his open lust for me, I did not wish to go. I was in a quandary, for I felt I would be betraying Helen if I did not.
‘Halvard came to suspect something was amiss…’ her voice dipped almost to a whisper, ‘not quite right. He’d taken note of my resistance for later that night he tried to whisk us away but I broke free and sought my father. ‘Twas too late. Halvard had said my father was in agreement with our early departure. I did not believe him. My father's grief was great but he still had his wits about him. He truly did. Helen and I found him...’
She lurched forward so quickly, Darc thought she would fall to the floor. His quick reflexes reached to catch her, but then he realized her body had jerked from the hard sob that bubbled out from between her parted lips. His heart twisted for her.
He drew back and fisted his hands at his sides. The stark look of her pain tore at him as he listened to her.
‘We found him in the lower level, face down in the privy. When we turned him over-‘ another gut wrenching sob caught in her throat and her voice cracked. ‘A dagger, encrusted with fine jewels decorating its handle had been thrust into his heart. Halvard and his men came quickly upon us and tore Helen and I away screaming.’
‘That is quite the tale.’ Darc murmured and looked at her for signs of deceit.
‘It is the truth.’ Her eyes wet and round, gazed b
ack at him and he saw the truth there as well as her pain and anger. He turned away and she went on.
‘After a year, Helen had Kelbie. Then one day, I went to the spot where Helen and I always met to get away from the…prying eyes and ears of the castle, she was not there. I thought naught of it and that mayhap she had gone off to meet with Cedric early. So I went to where they usually met for their trysts. Then, I saw her.’
Darc watched her as she wrapped her arms around her shoulders and hugged herself, her fingers gone white. Her honey-colored eyes glistened with tears. Again he said nothing nor touched her not wanting her to stop her telling.
After a moment, she unwrapped her arms and reached out in front of them, her fingers splayed as though feeling and reaching toward something only she could see. He knew she was lost to him, reliving the tragic moments. He felt guilty for being so abrasive.
‘Helen...hair like spun gold always shimmered in the sunlight. Sweet Helen… Her beautiful gown covered in leaves, dirt, insects from the earth floor and blood. So dirty. All color washed from her skin and her vibrant eyes, dull and lifeless stared back at me. How long I sat there I know not. The same mark like my father’s sat over her heart. Here.’ She pressed her hands, balled into fists against her chest. ‘I could not stop the blood. So much of it. I just remember Cedric and Halvard both appeared rather quickly. Too quickly.’
She dropped her hands and looked at him.
Darc’s heart twisted then at the look of her. The urge to pull her into his arms struck him hard. He wanted to hold her but dared not until she finished. Her glazed over stare fixed on him but he knew she still was not yet seeing him as she continued.
‘Not long after, Cedric abruptly disappeared. Halvard did not even do a mourning period of respectful peace. He beat me severely that night in the hall, in front of all for refusing his offer to wed. Though I knew no one of close acquaintance, there were a few familiar faces among the handful of nobles present, ones that had supped at my father’s table many a time whom failed to lift one hand to stop him. Not one of those selfish whoremongers did aught to help me after the kindness my poor father had shown them. With my body bruised and one eye closed, he wed us. From that day on my long days in the tower became next to intolerable, more guarded and strict. That’s when the night terrors began for me.