by Etta Foster
He watched as she stepped up to an older horse named Malcolm, the chocolate brown horse letting out a soft whinny to greet her. It sniffed at her hand before allowing its broad tongue to slide out to run across her palm. Jessica let out a soft giggle, looking back at Gavin. “I think he likes me.”
“Malcolm? Oh yeah, he has a real soft spot for pretty ladies. He used to do the same thing to Claudia back when she would ride him. Let's get him saddled up and then we'll start your lessons,” he said cheerfully, unlocking the stall door and gently leading the mighty stallion out into the open. He grabbed one of the saddles that hung on a peg nearby and showed her how to strap it onto the horse. He pointed out certain places not to put the straps, otherwise they would cause the horse discomfort from rubbing him in the wrong places.
“Alright, that’ll do it,” Gavin said as he pulled the last strap tight and secured it, gently placing the bit for the reins in Malcolm's mouth. Giving the large creature a pat on its side, he smiled at Jessica. He noticed that she was looking nervous, but he chalked that up to the fact that it had been a while since she had last rode. Once she got back into the swing of it, he was sure she would be fine.
Reaching out his hand for her, he wrapped an arm around her waist. “Now, when you get up high enough, throw your other leg over the side of the saddle. Don't move too quickly, or you might fall right off the other side.”
“Is that a common occurrence?” Jessica looked even more worried now, though her eyes still shone with excitement.
“Not when you listen to what your instructor tells you,” Gavin grinned. “I'm here to guide you step-by-step. As long as you heed my advice, you have nothing to fear. Now take ahold of the reins and I'll boost you up.”
***
It was a far cry from what she was used to. She had never been on a horse, so she had no idea what to expect. It didn't help that Gavin expected her to have knowledge on horse riding, which she clearly didn't. She only hoped that she could fake it well enough to prevent him from growing suspicious. The sight of the ground so far below her made her dizzy, so she focused her gaze on Gavin instead.
“Alright, so there are a couple of important commands that we should go over. When you want the horse to go, say ’Ride.’ That’s the command we trained all the horses to recognize. When you want the horse to slow down, say ’Heel.’ To make him go a little faster, press your heels lightly into his sides. You don't have to kick him or dig your heel in; a light touch will be more than sufficient.”
Coralee nodded, looking down at the horse. She had butterflies fluttering in the pit of her stomach and her palms were quickly growing slick with moisture from her nervous sweating. For a moment she thought she might faint, but she willed herself to be strong.
She focused instead on Gavin as he went into a brief explanation about what she should expect, how to react in different scenarios, and so on. Just when she thought her head might explode from the sheer amount of information that he was giving her, he craned his neck up to look at her and gave her a reassuring smile. “You'll be great, I just know it.”
That makes one of us. “Are you going to ride beside me?” Coralee's hands fidgeted with the reins and her throat was dry. She knew that her continual nervousness was going to come across as suspicious to Gavin.
“I wouldn't want you to feel like a child being constantly monitored. However, if things get too overwhelming for you, just tell old Malcolm to heel. Rub his side until he calms down, and then he'll be good to go again. I've got a couple of carrots in the saddlebag just in case you need a treat to bribe him with,” Gavin reached up and patted her thigh gently. “I know it must have been a while since the last time you rode, but it’ll come back to you as you go.”
Coralee nodded, mustering up her courage as she gently pressed her heels into Malcolm's sides. She gasped and tightened her hold on the reins as she felt the mighty creature surge forward, its powerful muscles rippling beneath her as it broke into a trot. She grunted softly with each bounce, the leather of the saddle digging somewhat uncomfortably into her rear.
Aside from the seating, this isn't so bad.
She felt like a general astride a mighty warhorse before a battle, her hair billowing in the fresh breeze that had begun to whistle across the fields. Pressing her heels into Malcolm's sides with a little more pressure, she smiled as the horse sped up to a canter. The bouncing was beginning to get a little more bearable, although with the way she had to spread her legs over the saddle she knew she'd be sore the next day. However, she wasn't going to focus on that right now.
Before she knew it, Malcolm was running at a full gallop. She let out a cry of joy as she rode. Despite her earlier reservations, Coralee could feel her stress temporarily melting away. All she could think about in this moment was the freedom she felt on the back of this horse. It felt like she could just ride away from her problems with the wind and sun to guide her, and the powerful beast beneath her was sure to carry her as far as she would need to go.
She couldn’t keep up this charade for much longer. That thought broke through the bliss of her newfound hobby, quickly bringing her back down to earth.
She felt like she'd already made so many mistakes. Telling Gavin that she didn't really remember how to ride a horse was only one of many. She was certain that Jessica had told him about her love of riding horses, and yet when the chance came up for her to prove it, she had basically told him she didn't know how. There's no way he’s not going to grow suspicious about that. She needed to tell him the truth soon, before she got past the point where he would be willing to forgive her.
Pulling gently on the reins to guide Malcolm back in the direction where she had left Gavin, she gently called for the horse to heel as she approached. She was relieved when Malcolm immediately slowed his pace, eventually coming to a stop right in front of Gavin. “That felt so good!” Coralee cried out, unable to stop the smile that spread across her face despite her inner turmoil.
“I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed yourself. You had me worried earlier, but it looks like your horseback riding knowledge came back to you once you got in the saddle. That's how I hear it is for a lot of people who come back to it after an extended absence,” Gavin said, reaching his hand out for the reins so that he could hitch the horse to the nearby post long enough to help her off.
“Gavin, there's something that I need to tell you,” she began, tilting her head up to look at him. Her words were instantly stifled by the feel of Gavin's lips pressing against her own. It was like the first kiss they had shared, but far more passionate. She could feel his arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her close to him as he deepened their kiss. Her mind went blank and the only thought in her head was how much she loved the way it felt when he kissed her.
When they finally pulled away from one another, Coralee took a moment to gather her thoughts. Now she was even more hesitant about revealing her big secret to Gavin. How could she risk upsetting the man who had just kissed her like that? He smiled and took her hand gently in his while he untied the reins and led Malcolm back toward the stable. “So, what was it that you wanted to say, Jessica?”
“I just wanted to tell you that I love you,” she said, forcing a smile to her lips as she raised his hand to kiss the back of it. “And I hope that no matter what happens between us, you will continue to love me like this.”
“What's brought this on?” Gavin asked, his eyebrows narrowing suspiciously. “Claudia didn't say something, did she?”
“Just promise me,” Coralee pleaded, looking into his eyes as her own began to well up with tears.
“Fine,” Gavin said, hugging her gently to his chest. “I promise.”
Chapter 24
Humming quietly to herself as she ran a slotted wooden spoon through the boiling contents of the pot that sat on the stove, Coralee found that she was in excellent spirits. Despite the indecision that was still flowing through her, she was feeling a little more confident about things.
Viola
was standing next to her, the older woman coaching Coralee through the recipe for stew. They had thrown in some interesting spices like coriander and anise to help add variety to the flavors. One of their neighbors had brought over some of the venison they had bagged when hunting, and Viola had been adamant about making a stew.
“With the weather growing colder, what better way to keep our spirits and bellies warm than with a nice hot bowl of stew. We'll chop potatoes and carrots into it, maybe some onions and leeks, and it will be delicious. Just you wait and see,” Viola had said, and Coralee found no reason to disagree with her.
When the stew was finished and everyone was assembled at the table, Isaac was the first to address them. He gently tapped his spoon against the side of his glass to get everyone's attention before clearing his throat. “I just wanted to start off by saying that I am quite glad to be able to have all of the family sitting together again like this. I know that our family can be troubled at times, but we must always remember that we are tied together by bonds of blood. We should never allow ourselves to become hostile to our family, no matter how they have wronged us. At the end of the day, there will never be anyone who will be more supportive.”
Jude and Gavin shared a look but said nothing, the tension between the two of them palpable. Coralee could practically feel the waves of seething rage that billowed from Gavin, reaching her hand over to him beneath the table and resting it on his thigh. He turned his head to look at her, offering her a small smile.
As she was eating, Coralee felt a pair of eyes staring at her. When she raised her head, she was not surprised to find that Claudia was the one studying her. The brown-eyed beauty hadn't taken her eyes off Coralee for practically the entire meal. The look on her face told Coralee that she was still sore about their earlier conversation.
Maybe if Claudia had taken responsibility for her own actions instead of trying to pawn her shortcomings off on others, Coralee wouldn't have had to put Claudia in her place.
It was all a side effect of jealousy, to be sure. That didn't make it any less annoying to have someone constantly watching and judging you. “Is there something I can do for you, Claudia?”
“Oh, no. I was just lost in thought is all. Sorry if it looks like I’m staring at you,” Claudia replied sweetly. “I tend to daydream a lot. It's something that Jude has gotten used to by now, but since we don't know each other that well, I imagine it must be rather unnerving.”
Unnerving doesn't even begin to cover it. How would she like it if someone stared silently at her all throughout dinner? “If you say so,” Coralee replied, making her tone just as sickeningly sweet as Claudia's had been.
“Did you finally get to do some horseback riding today, Jessica?” Viola asked, wiping her mouth gently with the cloth napkin that sat next to her hand. “I could have sworn I saw you and Gavin out the kitchen window earlier with a horse.”
“I certainly did, Viola. Gavin was even kind enough to give me a refresher course on riding because my memory was failing me. I forgot just how amazing it is to ride on an animal that can run that fast. I thought I might just drift away onto the breeze and never come back. It was almost like something straight out of one of the dime novels I read a long time ago,” Coralee said, her true feelings about the event mixing seamlessly with the lies she was telling. Why was she lying again?
“Yes, it is a special kind of freedom that horseback riding offers,” Isaac agreed, nodding his head sagely. “I remember back when I was a youth and would spend hours, every day, riding. I would always have such a great time, at least until the saddle sores kicked in,” he added with a laugh.
His laughter was shared by the other members of his family, and even Coralee let out a small giggle. It was a temporary reprieve from the oppressive tension that always seemed to hover over their dinners, which Coralee took to mean that the brothers had formed some kind of uneasy truce. Whether that was true, or it was just her own imagination she couldn't be sure, but hearing the family carry on an entire conversation with both brothers contributing was something she hadn't observed up until now.
Once the stew was finished and the dishes were washed, Coralee joined Gavin out on the veranda carrying a fresh cup of coffee for him. He nodded thankfully at her as he took the warm cup from her and cradled it in his palms. “Thank you, Jessica.”
“Your mother put honey in it; I hope you don't mind,” Coralee said shyly, resting her head gently against his arm.
“Not at all. She's been doing that ever since I became a man and I told her that I hated how bitter coffee was by itself. Pop claims that it’s one of those tastes that you gradually develop an appreciation for, but I don't think I should hold my breath for that to happen for me,” he laughed, taking a small sip and smiling softly. “The honey truly does help cut the bitterness.”
“So, about earlier,” Coralee began, playing with her hair absently. “I'm afraid I wasn't entirely truthful with you.”
“What about?” Gavin asked, setting his coffee cup down on the railing and turning his entire body to face her. “Nothing too serious, I hope.”
“Well, you asked me if Claudia had told me anything about your previous relationship, and I told you no. But while I was doing the laundry earlier, she did stop by and talk to me,” Coralee began, watching as the smile that had been on Gavin's face slowly began to fade.
“Is that right?” he asked, his mouth moving into a smile that was obviously forced. “What did you two chat about?”
“Well, she started by insinuating once again that there was no reason for you to have brought me here from Boston,” Coralee began, biting her bottom lip. “She stated that there were plenty of women around here who would die for your attention.”
“That seems like an exaggeration, even for her,” he said, reaching his hand out to gently squeeze her shoulder. “I told you not to let her get to you.”
“She also said that part of the reason she left you is because you are too much of a ladies’ man. That she couldn't trust you not to look at other women while you were with her,” Coralee said softly, unable to meet his eyes now.
“Oh, she did, huh?” his voice was soft now, barely above a whisper. “Do you think that, too?”
“Of course I don't, Gavin. I've never seen you talk about any other women, and you didn't have eyes for anyone else but me on our date. How could I believe what she says over what I've seen with my own eyes,” she protested, reaching her hand up to try and cup his face, but he caught her hand.
“Your eyes tell me that you’re harboring doubts,” he whispered, his bottom lip quivering slightly. “Do you truly think so little of me that you'd believe her words?”
“I already told you, Gavin. I don't believe her. I figured that you two had been together before; her telling me only confirmed it. It made sense then, why you only wanted a marriage of convenience, and why you didn't try to find another wife from around here. Because you thought they would end up just like Claudia did, and you couldn't bear the thought of that,” Coralee said, watching as the expression on his face darkened further.
“I don't want to talk about this anymore. We were courting, yes, but we aren't anymore. That is the beginning and end of that story. She married my brother, as you know. That ship has long since sailed, so you don't need to feel threatened by anything that she has to say. If you trusted in me, you wouldn't have that look in your eyes that you have right now,” Gavin said, his voice growing thick with emotion. He cleared his throat and picked up his cup of coffee. “I think I’m going to turn in early. Goodnight, Jessica,” he said shortly.
Everything inside her told her to stop him from leaving. She could have hugged him from behind or forced him to kiss her. She could have yelled at him about how she loved him and only cared about him and his happiness. Yet she seemed unable to take action. Instead, she watched helplessly as he walked away into the house, the porch door slamming closed behind him.
That could have gone better. Stupid Claudia, Coralee shoul
d have known that she'd cause problems between herself and Gavin. Now he was angry because he didn't believe that she trusted him. Why did the universe hate her so much? Every time she felt like she and Gavin were growing closer, something like this happened. She couldn't believe that he wouldn't take her at her word. That irked her the most.
She gazed up at the full moon where it shone in the sky, tears falling down her face as she did her best to stifle her sobs. Her whole body shook, biting down on the handkerchief she kept in her front apron pocket to keep herself from being too loud. It felt like her entire heart was breaking, and it was even more painful because it was the first time she had ever felt this kind of pain.
Growing up the way she had, she'd not had much in terms of relationships with people. Most of the people she had known growing up were not the kind of people that you'd start a family with, and the drunken male populace that lacked any kind of decency had ruined her youthful naivety.
They had all made her feel like prey being stalked by larger animals, tenderness the last thing on their minds. Gavin had been the first who made her feel like a person, like she was worthy of the love that seemed to be in such short supply in her life.
