Within two years it would be a very different family that faced the camera. The local press had hounded the Bannings after the accident. And then the coroner’s inquiry a few months later had brought the national press to their door. Sensation-hungry journalists had conducted tell-all interviews with the locals. Even though the coroner had finally concluded it had been an accident and Lucas was not in any way to blame for Matt’s death, the press had painted a very different picture from the gossip and hearsay they had gleaned locally. They had portrayed Lucas as a wild boy from the bush who had taken his parents’ farm vehicle without permission and taken his best friend for a joyride that had ended in his friend’s death. Jane and Bill Banning had visibly aged overnight, Lucas even more so. He had gone from a fresh-faced teenager of seventeen to a man twice that age, who looked like the world had just landed on his shoulders.
Molly reached for the other photo on the desk. Her heart gave a tight spasm as she saw Matt’s freckled face grinning widely as he sat astride his motocross bike, his blue eyes glinting with his usual mischief.
The last time she had seen her brother he hadn’t been smiling. He had been furious with her for going into his room and finding his stash of contraband cigarettes. She had told their parents and as a result he had been grounded.
For every one of the seventeen years since that terrible day Molly had wished she had never told their parents. If Matt hadn’t been grounded he might not have slipped out with Lucas that night behind their parents’ backs. Matt had hated being confined. He’d got claustrophobic and antsy when restrictions had been placed on him. It was one of the reasons he had been thrown from the vehicle. He hadn’t been wearing a seat belt.
‘I thought you might be in here,’ Lucas said from the doorway.
Molly put the photo back down on the desk. ‘I hadn’t seen that picture before,’ she said, and picked up another one of Ian and Neil with their current partners. ‘Neil’s been going out with Hannah Pritchard for quite a while now, hasn’t he? Are they planning on getting married?’
‘I think it’s been discussed once or twice,’ he said.
She put the photo down and looked at him. ‘Would you go home for the wedding?’
His expression visibly tightened. ‘Dinner’s ready,’ he said. ‘We’ll have to make it short. I have to go back to the hospital to check on a patient.’
Molly followed him back to the kitchen, where he had set up two places, one at each end of the long table. He seemed distracted as they ate. He barely spoke and he didn’t touch his wine. She got the feeling he had only eaten because his body needed food. He seemed relieved when she pushed her plate away and said she was full.
‘I’ll walk you home on the way,’ he said, and reached for his coat.
‘You’re not going to drive?’
His eyes shifted away from hers as he slipped his hospital lanyard over his neck. ‘It’s only a few blocks,’ he said. ‘I like the exercise.’
They walked in silence until they came to the front door of Molly’s bedsit. ‘I’ll let you know as soon as I find another place to rent,’ she said. ‘I hope it won’t be more than a few days.’
‘Fine.’
‘Thanks for dinner,’ she said after a tight little silence. ‘I’ll have to return the favour some time.’
‘You’re not obliged to,’ he said, and glanced impatiently at his watch. ‘I’d better get going.’
‘Bye.’ Molly lifted her hand in a little wave but he had already turned his back and left.
CHAPTER THREE
LUCAS DIDN’T LEAVE the hospital until close to three a.m. and the streets were deserted as he trudged home. The chilly wind drove ice-pick holes through his chest in spite of his thick woollen coat and scarf. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and wondered what it was like back home at Carboola Creek. He loathed February in London. It was so bleak and miserable. If the sun did manage to break through the thick wad of clouds it was usually weak and watery, and while the snow was beautiful when it first fell, it all too soon turned to slippery brown slush.
He thought longingly of Bannington Homestead. If he closed his eyes he could almost smell the rain-soaked red dust of the plains. It seemed a lifetime ago since he had felt the bright hot sun on his face.
He opened the door of his house and a piteous meow sounded. ‘Damn you, Molly,’ he muttered as the little cat came limping towards him with its big possum-like eyes shining in welcome. ‘Don’t get too comfortable,’ he addressed it in a gruff tone. ‘You’re not staying long.’
The cat meowed again and ribboned itself around his ankles before moving way to play with the fringe of the Persian carpet. Lucas caught a faint whiff of Molly’s perfume in the air as he moved through the house. It was strongest in the library, or maybe that was just his imagination. He breathed in deeply. The hint of jasmine and sweet peas teased his nostrils, reminding him of hot summer evenings sitting out on the veranda at the homestead.
He let out a long weary sigh and picked up the photograph of his family. His parents were in their sixties now. They were still working the land alongside Neil. Ian was the other side of town on another property. His parents had come over to London for visits a few times. He had loved having them here but it made it so much harder when they left. His mother always cried. Even his stoic father had a catch in his voice and moisture in his eyes. Lucas had come to dread the airport goodbyes. He hated seeing them so distraught. He had not encouraged them to return and always made some excuse about being too busy to entertain visitors.
Lucas wondered if they missed him even half as much as he missed them. But it was the price he had to pay. He put the photo back down and looked at Matt’s photo. He saw echoes of his mate’s face in the pretty features of Molly. That dusting of freckles, the same uptilted nose, the same light brown hair with its sun-bleached highlights.
Was that why he felt so drawn to her?
Not entirely.
She was all woman now, a beautiful young woman with the whole world at her feet. He saw the way the male staff and patients looked at her. It was the same way he looked at her. He had been so close to pulling her into his arms and kissing her. He had wanted to press his mouth to the soft bow of hers to see if it felt as soft and sweet as it looked.
But he could just imagine how her parents would react if he laid a finger on their precious daughter. He thought of what his parents would feel. They wouldn’t say anything out loud, but he knew they would find it hard to accept Molly. It wasn’t her fault, but any involvement with her would make moving on from the past that much more difficult for them and for him. Did he want her so badly because he knew he couldn’t have her? Or was it just that she was everything he had always wanted for himself but didn’t feel he deserved?
* * *
When Molly got to work the next morning Su Ling, one of the registrars, pulled her over and said in an undertone, ‘Keep away from the boss. He’s in a foul mood. We had a death overnight’David Hyland in Bed Four. He went into organ failure and Lucas was here until the wee hours with him and the family.’
Molly glanced at the empty bed and felt a sinking feeling assail her. David Hyland had only been forty-two with a wife and two young children. He’d developed complications after routine gall-bladder surgery and Molly had only spoken to his wife the day before about how hopeful they were that he would pull through.
Deaths in ICU were part of the job. Not everyone made it. It was a fact of life. Miracles happened occasionally but there was only so much medicine and critical care could do. She wondered if every death on the unit brought home to Lucas the death that haunted him most.
‘Don’t you have anything better to do than to stand there staring into space?’ Lucas barked from behind her.
Molly swung around to face him. ‘I was just’’
‘There are two families waiti
ng in the counselling rooms for updates on their loved ones,’ he said in a clipped, businesslike tone. ‘I would appreciate it if you got your mind on the job.’
‘My mind is on the job,’ she said. ‘I was on my way to speak to the Mitchell family now. Do you have any further updates on Claire that I should make them aware of?’
His eyes looked bloodshot as if he hadn’t slept the night before. ‘Claire is stable,’ he said. ‘I can’t give them anything other than that. We’ll try and wean her off the sedation again tomorrow. We’ll repeat the scans then as well.’
Molly watched as he strode away, barking out orders as he went. Megan, one of the nurses, caught her eye and raised her brows meaningfully as she walked past with a catheter bag. ‘He obviously didn’t get laid last night.’
Molly hoped her face wasn’t looking as hot as if felt. ‘Obviously not,’ she said, and headed off to the counselling room.
* * *
Molly was waiting for a coffee at the kiosk later that day when Simon breezed in. ‘Hello, gorgeous,’ he said, throwing an arm around her shoulders and planting a smacking kiss on her mouth. ‘How’s tricks?’
Molly tried to wriggle out of his embrace. ‘Stop it, Simon. People are watching.’
‘Don’t be such a cold fish,’ he chided as he tried to land another kiss. ‘Are you still angry with me for blowing you off last night? I told you the theatre was booked out.’
‘I believe Dr Drummond told you to stop.’
Molly felt a shiver run down her spine at that strong, commanding voice. She turned to see Lucas eyeballing Simon the way a Doberman did a small, annoying terrier.
‘Who’s this?’ Simon asked, with a pugnacious curl of his lip.
‘This is my boss,’ Molly said, blushing in spite of every attempt not to. ‘Lucas Banning, head of ICU.’
Simon’s lip curled even further. ‘Aiming a bit higher, are we?’ he said.
Molly wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole. She glanced at Lucas but his expression gave little away apart from a glint of derision in his eyes. She turned back to Simon. ‘I’m not sure what you’re implying but I would rather you’’
‘You won’t put out for me but I bet you’ll put out for him if he promises to fast-track your career,’ Simon said with his sneer still in place.
Molly was desperate to get away before any more people joined the audience. As it was, she could see one of the nurses dilly-dallying over the sweeteners as she shamelessly eavesdropped. ‘I think you’ve got the wrong idea about our friendship, Simon,’ she said. ‘I’ll call you later.’
‘You do that,’ he said, throwing Lucas a death stare before looking back at her. ‘You have some explaining to do.’
Molly walked out of the kiosk without collecting her coffee. She had only gone three or four strides when Lucas caught up with her. ‘Are you out of your mind?’ he asked. ‘What are you thinking, dating that jerk?’
She kept walking with her head held high. ‘It’s none of your business who I date.’
‘I beg to differ,’ he said. ‘He’s distracting you from your work.’
Molly rolled her eyes. ‘He’s doing no such thing.’
‘He’s totally wrong for you,’ he said. ‘I can’t believe you can’t see it.’
She stopped and glared at him. ‘My private life has absolutely nothing to do with you.’
His gaze held hers for a long tense moment and she saw a pulse beating at the edge of his mouth. ‘You’re right,’ he said. ‘Go and break your own heart. See if I care.’
Molly frowned as he strode ahead of her down the corridor. She could be mistaken but she could almost swear that was jealousy she had seen glittering in his eyes.
* * *
Lucas put some kitten biscuits in the saucer on the floor. Mittens crunched his way through a little pile before lifting his head and giving a soft purring meow of appreciation.
‘You’re welcome,’ Lucas said. ‘But don’t think for a moment that I’m warming to you because I’m not.’
The doorbell sounded. For a moment he thought he had imagined it. But then it sounded again. He wasn’t expecting visitors, he never had them. Even the most fervent religious proselytisers had given up on him.
He opened his front door to find Molly standing there with a shopping bag in one hand. She looked tiny, standing there in the cold. Her coat looked too big for her and her hat and scarf framed her heart-shaped face, giving her an elfin look that was unbelievably cute. ‘I’ve brought more supplies for Mittens,’ she said. ‘I hope you don’t mind me calling in without notice. I was worried you might be running out of food for him.’
‘I picked up some more at the corner store on the way home,’ he said.
She handed him the bag. ‘I won’t come in. I’m busy.’
‘Going out with lover boy?’ Lucas said as he took the bag.
Her eyes clashed with his. ‘What’s it to you?’
‘Nothing,’ he said, wishing it was true. ‘I just wouldn’t like to see you get hurt. He’s a player. I heard a rumour he’s got his eyes on Prof Hubert’s daughter. As career fast tracks go, you can’t get much better than that.’
She gave him a cold look and took a step backwards. ‘I’d better get going. I’d hate to take advantage of your warm hospitality.’
‘Aren’t you going to say hello to your cat?’ Lucas asked.
She raised her chin. ‘I wasn’t sure if I was welcome,’ she said. ‘The way you spoke to me today in ICU was deplorable.’
He leaned a hand on the doorjamb. ‘You want me to apologise? Sorry, but I’m not that sort of boss. If you can’t suck it up then you’d better find some other job where you can get your ego stroked all day.’
‘You were out of line,’ she said, shooting him a little glare. ‘You know you were. You were taking out your frustration on your staff. That’s not how to run a department like ICU.’
‘Are you telling me how to do my job?’ he asked.
She held his challenging look. ‘I’m telling you I won’t be bullied and harassed by you just because you had a bad day.’
‘Did you happen to speak to David Hyland’s wife and family?’ Lucas asked. ‘They were expecting him to make it. I was expecting him to make it. Do you know what it felt like to go out there and tell them he had died while we were trying to resus him?’
‘I know what that feels like. I’ve had to’’
‘His wife looked at me as if I had just stabbed her in the heart,’ he said. ‘The kids looked at me in bewilderment. Those are the faces that keep me awake at night. Not the bureaucrats who insist on reducing admission times whilst contributing nothing to the running of the hospital other than sipping double-shot caramel lattes and shuffling a bit of paperwork around their desks. Not the CEO who hasn’t got a clue what it feels like to be up all night, worrying about a desperately ill patient. It’s the families that come back to haunt me. They want me’they expect me’to make it all better, to fix things. But I can’t always do that.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, nibbling at her lip, her eyes losing their defensive glare. ‘A death is hard on everyone.’
Lucas blew out a breath and held open the door for her. ‘I should warn you that I’m not good company right now.’
‘Maybe I’m not looking for good company.’
He closed the door and turned and faced her. ‘What are you looking for?’
She gave a little shrug of one of her slim shoulders. ‘I’m not sure...just any company, I guess...’
Lucas kept a wide berth even though he wanted to reach for her and hold her close. He wanted to block out the hellish day he’d had with a bit of mindless sex. But sweet little Molly Drummond wasn’t the right candidate. He had a feeling it wouldn’t be mindless sex with her. Those soft little tender hands of
hers would not just unravel him physically. They would reach inside him and unpick the lock on the vault of his soul. ‘Would you like a drink or something?’ he asked.
‘I’m fine,’ she said. ‘I won’t stay long. I just wanted to check on Mittens. Oh, you got him a litter tray.’ She turned and smiled up at him disarmingly. It was like a ray of sunshine after a wet week. It seemed to light up the foyer, or maybe that was just his imagination.
‘Yeah, well, he kept me awake half the night howling to be let out,’ he said, keeping his voice gruff in case she had noticed his guard slipping momentarily. ‘I don’t mind tossing and turning over patients but I draw the line at stray cats.’
‘Do you think he’s settling in?’
‘I don’t think there’s any doubt of that,’ he said wryly. ‘He’s taken up residence on the end of my bed. I tried to shoo him off but he was back within minutes.’
She was still smiling at him. ‘You big softie,’ she said.
Lucas glowered at her. ‘Have you found alternative accommodation yet?’
Her smile faded and her shoulders went down in a little slump of defeat. ‘I’ve rung heaps of agencies but there’s nothing close to the hospital, or at least none than I can afford. And no one wants to rent a place for just three months. I don’t know what else to do. Simon offered to share his place with me but I’m not sure I want to do that.’
Lucas felt as if each and every one of his spare rooms had suddenly developed eyes and was staring at him pointedly. His thoughts zigzagged in his brain. It wasn’t as if she would be in the way. He would probably never even run into her. It was a big house. Too big really, but he’d liked the thought of working on something in his spare time. He’d needed something to distract himself. He really should have sold it by now and bought some other rundown place to renovate. It seemed a shame that no one but him got to see how comfortable and convenient it was before he moved on. Molly had already hinted at his lack of hospitality. What would it hurt to have a houseguest for a week or two?
Their Most Forbidden Fling Page 4
