by Alexa Riley
I’m going to blame it on my best friend falling in love with a man who looks at her as if she hangs the moon. Watching them together has been bittersweet. I love that she found it, but I know I’m losing her a little. Seeing her this happy makes me crave something I didn’t want to crave. Love isn’t in the cards for me. Even if deep down I know it’s the one thing I want most. I have other plans in life, and falling in love isn’t part of that. I’ve got a score to settle—avenging the one person who ever loved me. My mother. Well, loved me as much as she could.
Ryan moves his hand from my hip to my stomach and stops there. His eyes search my face, and I don’t know what he’s looking for. Maybe he’s waiting for me to push him away, but I can’t seem to breathe right as I wait for him to speak. I know he wants me, but I’ve been such a brat, and I tricked him into thinking I was pregnant to make him mad. It’s ridiculous because it’s physically impossible for me to be pregnant; unless by immaculate conception. Maybe I thought it would make him back off, and that all the things he makes me feel would go away. If he wasn’t watching me or touching me, then my feelings would stop. But now he’s more in my space than he’s ever been.
“You shouldn’t be on field work. It isn’t safe.” His deep voice rumbles from his chest and washes over me. I narrow my eyes on him, loving his concern but hating that he thinks he can tell me what to do. Before I can snap at him, he cuts me off. “I don’t know who he is.” Captain leans down a little more. His words are hard and filled with something I can’t make out, an edge I’ve never heard from him before. “But apparently he’s nobody important, because I haven’t seen a man sniffing around you.”
I want to tell him he has no idea what I do, but that would be a lie. I live in the same building as my brother, and it’s one Captain monitors the security on. Along with us working security in the same building together, he pretty much knows every one of my moves.
“This baby is mine now. I’ll take care of you.”
His words hit me hard, shocking me. He did not say what I think he did. He wants to be the father of my baby? A baby that isn’t his? He wants to step up and offer to care for me and my unborn child. Never mind that there is no baby, it’s the fact that he wants to do this in spite of my pushing. In spite of all that I’ve done to hurt him, trying to keep him at a distance, he still won’t give up. It’s a reminder of how perfect he is. Too perfect for me. He always wants to do the right thing. I seem to always want to do the wrong thing.
Suddenly our mouths are on each other. Our lips connect and there’s no softness to the kiss. It’s fueled by everything I’ve been bottling up for him since the moment we met. The need and want I’ve been hiding, and all the fear of what could happen, is released in this kiss. The desire I’ve been hiding bleeds out as I cling to him, wrapping myself around his giant body. He easily picks me up, and my back once again presses against the wall. I want to close all the space I’ve been putting between us.
His mouth moves against mine, his tongue pushing its way into my mouth. He takes over the kiss, dominating it, and I let go. I allow myself to enjoy the closeness of him and soak it all up. I want every last drop I can get out of this.
He growls into my mouth, and I find myself moaning in response. I move against him as my dress slips to the side and I’m bare against his suit. He’s moved one of his hands under me and he’s holding my bare ass, his fingers digging into my flesh in a possessive, unbreakable hold. Something about the way he has me pinned to him so tightly is making me come undone.
Then he’s gone.
I’m on my feet and he’s turned around, his back to me. I’m in a daze, and it takes me a moment to realize he’s talking to someone. Another man in a suit is telling him something, but I was too far gone to realize it. I’m lost in the moment we just had, stunned at how quickly all that perfection was ripped away. In the blink of an eye, everything can be gone. I’ve learned that lesson before, and it’s not a pain I want to relive. It’s not where my head should be, and I take a step to the side to steady myself. Captain turns and reaches for me, but I back up another step. Then another.
His eyes narrow on me as the guy continues to talk to him, and I hold up my hands in defense. I can tell he’s going to make a grab for me, whether the guy is talking to him or not. I’d probably melt against him if he touched me, and I can’t do that.
“Paige.” He says my name in warning, but I shake my head. His hand clenches into a fist, but I don’t give in. I need space, so I turn and I take off across the ballroom.
Chapter Two
Ryan
* * *
I CATCH SIGHT of Miles as I watch Paige and Mallory enter a room next to the women’s restroom. He looks me over and raises an eyebrow.
“Don’t ask,” I say, and walk toward the door. We stand there for a moment in silence. Things pass between us that we don’t need to say, and I nod at his unspoken request.
I was hired by Alexander Owens six years ago to get close to his only son, Miles Osborne. I was prepared to do that and a lot more, until I saw the picture of Paige. I knew what needed to happen, and I made my way to Miles to strike a deal. It turned out that we needed each other, and so our plan began to take shape.
He’d seen Mallory and fallen in love at first sight. He didn’t want to expose her to Alexander and his corruption. He wanted to make sure she stayed safe. Miles’s past had come back to haunt him before and he wasn’t going to allow Mallory to be harmed. When I met with him the first time, I laid all my cards on the table. One of those cards was his half sister, Paige. Miles had no idea she existed, and I was able to bring that to light, showing Miles I was on his side. I then brought her into the fold. Paige became a part of the plan after that, even if she didn’t know the whole story.
Miles and I formed a pact, and he’s held up his end of the bargain. I’ve done everything I could to keep Mallory safe, to keep Alexander from touching what’s important to Miles and to keep Paige as close to me as possible. When our deal was made, I chose my side, and I’ll live with the consequences. Nothing is as important to me as Paige, and nothing will ever change that. Even if in the end she wants nothing to do with me.
I nod at Miles, and we take a step forward and into the room our women entered. Neither of us is patient enough to give them more than a few minutes alone. When he opens the door, they both turn with surprised looks on their faces. My focus goes straight to Paige.
Mallory walks over to Miles and says something to him that I don’t hear. I’m not paying attention to anything other than the beauty in front of me, the one I’d like to maul. The kiss in the hallway had been unexpected to say the least. One moment I was picturing her with another man and getting angry as hell. Then I was thinking about her having a baby and how I could somehow work my way into that life with her. I was fantasizing about us having a family and being together, and then the next thing I knew our lips were connecting and I was losing all my senses, wanting to make all those thoughts a reality.
I don’t know who could have knocked Paige up, but the bastard isn’t anywhere to be found. I will find out who it was and when I do… I cut myself off from that line of thinking. I’ll deal with that when I find him. That someone could put his hands on what’s mine makes me sick to my stomach, but I’m not angry at her for it. Maybe I should have staked my claim on her years ago.
I’m so jealous I’m nauseated, and I can’t stand the feeling. If she’d have me, I’d never let her go, but she doesn’t know who I truly am. If she did, she wouldn’t want me. Playing with the one man she hates most in the world would make her hate me. To know that I’d worked for him for years, before I even knew about her, and hadn’t done anything to stop him in all that time… Maybe her life would have been different if I’d found a way to rid the world of him back then. God knows what it was like to be raised by that man.
But I can be good to her and to her baby. I can make her mine and raise her baby like it’s my own. I could love our child enough that it
would belong to me, and then we’d never be apart. My mind clears and suddenly my path is obvious. If I make Paige fall in love with me, then she won’t care what my past is. If she could feel even a fraction of what I feel for her, then she’ll understand and accept me before she finds out the truth. I can do that. I can convince her that I’m the right choice and that being with me isn’t a risk.
“Got a little something,” Mallory says, pointing to her mouth and looking at me.
I reach up and wipe away the red lipstick that Paige left on me after the kiss. As I clean it off, Paige pushes past me and walks in front, trying to keep her distance. It’s probably a good idea, because I know every time I get my hands on her she seems to melt. No matter how hard she struggles, one touch and she’s mine. I’ll make sure to get her alone, because we need to talk.
I nod to Miles as he and Mallory make their way over to the auction tables. I follow Paige and take a few long strides to catch up to her. I grab her arm, turning her to face me. The surprise on her face is clear, but so is the desire.
“You can’t run out on me like that.” I try to keep the pleading tone out of my voice.
“You can’t tell me what to do.” Her voice is low, and she’s looking around the crowd.
I don’t want to cause a scene, so I soften my hold and walk her over to the side and away from prying eyes. I rub her arms and feel her relax under my touch. I want everyone in the room to know she’s with me. Her dress is going to be the death of someone if they don’t. As I look down at her and see how fucking beautiful she is, my body aches to pick her up and hold her against me.
“Come home with me.” It’s not a question, though it probably should be.
“What?” She looks away, like I could possibly be speaking to someone else, then looks at me. “We can’t. You’re my boss.”
The excuse is weak and makes me smile. Like she’s ever acted like I was her boss before. She never listens to a thing I tell her to do. “If that’s all you’ve got, then I’ll quit.”
“Good, maybe I can take your job. I could do it better than you, anyway.” She raises her eyebrows, challenging me.
She’s trying to get under my skin, but it just makes her more adorable. I love her spirit and the way she tries to act tough. But I know deep down she’s a kitten with little claws who thinks she’s a tiger. I laugh, thinking that’s exactly what she is, and she cuts her eyes at me.
“What are you laughing at?” She pops her hip and puts her hand on it, and I can’t help but picture a little ginger kitten growling and trying to catch a piece of string.
Reaching up, I cup her neck and run my thumb along the bottom of her jaw. “Nothing, kitten,” I say softly. I like the nickname for her. If she could purr, she would, given the way she leans into my touch. Fuck, why can’t she see she belongs to me? Her body knows it, but she can’t let go. That’s okay, kitten. I’ll fight for us, and I won’t stop until I win.
As if she realizes what she’s doing, she takes a step back from me. As I’m about to make a grab for her, someone comes up behind me and puts a hand on my shoulder.
“Mr. Justice. We’ve got a situation. I tried to speak with you a moment ago.” I turn to see the security guard who tried to talk to me earlier, when I was kissing Paige, and again I turn away, ignoring him.
I catch sight of Paige making her way to the entrance of the building, and I think maybe she’s getting ready to leave. But I know her well enough to know she wouldn’t walk out on a job, and even though we’re extra tonight, she would still check in before she left. I catch a glimpse of her auburn hair and black dress as she exits the double doors and they close behind her.
“Sir, I wanted to let you know—”
“In a moment,” I say, cutting him off and trying to go after her.
I speed up my steps, not wanting to miss where she goes next, so I can catch up with her. After I’ve made it to the doors and opened them, I stop dead in my tracks. Paige is across the room, standing in front of a man I’ve tried to keep her away from all these years.
Alexander looks up, and his blue eyes—just like Paige’s—lock on me, and before I know it Miles and Mallory walk into the foyer, and the four of us are alone with him.
Chapter Three
Paige
* * *
I WAS ABLE to walk away from Captain again, so I guess I have superhuman, strength after all. All I wanted to do was to melt into him, but he doesn’t know about my past. He doesn’t know that deep down I don’t think I’m good enough for someone like him. Maybe one day I could be. Maybe if I took charge of my destiny and got the revenge I really want, then I could focus on myself. Hide what I’d done. But the way my life is right now, I’ve got one focus and that’s to pay back the son of a bitch who killed my mother. But that revenge could make me lose him. Lose everything. Captain always plays by the rules, and I’m on a path to break everyone I come against if it gets me what I want.
When I step through the double doors, I keep walking, thinking I’ll go outside and get some fresh air. Cool down a little. I’ll take a moment alone and then go back in to tell Mallory I’m leaving for the night. There’s plenty of security here, and Ryan can more than handle things without me. I often wonder if Ryan would even want me on his team if it hadn’t been for Miles making him hire me. Sure, he wants to fuck me―he may even want something more―but I’m not certain he thinks I can do my job. He’s often looking over me. He’s even put a guard on me a time or two.
I’m lost in thought as I’m walking, not paying attention to where I’m going. Before I realize what I’m doing, I bump into someone and ice-cold hands wrap around my arms. They steady me and keep me from falling over, and I look up to apologize. But the words stick in my throat as I look into the cold blue eyes that mirror my own.
“Hello, Paige.”
My father’s voice sends a chill down my spine and I shiver involuntarily. I manage to swallow the scream building in my throat, and he smiles at me, enjoying my terror. He always liked when people flinched away from him. It gave him some sick high. He’d almost savor it. His hands give me a squeeze and then let go. I think he’s going to walk away, but he leans down and whispers in my ear. They’re the first words I’ve heard him speak to me since he killed my mother. Back then he told me if I ever spoke a word I’d end up like her.
“My, my, you’ve grown to look exactly like your mother. Such a beauty, sweet Paige. It was such a shame to end her life. What a waste. She looked magnificent every time I had her under me. Especially when she cried.”
He leans back a little and looks down at me, a soft smile on his face. He reaches up, and his glacial finger wipes away a tear I didn’t know I’d shed. The fear inside me leaches out in the only way possible. A single tear formed of my shame and my hate, and he derives joy from it.
“Just like her.” His voice is full of reverence, maybe even desire. How my mother loved him, I’ll never know.
This time when he smiles, it’s wide and sinister, and I want to run. I want to leave this place and get as far away from him, and the memory, as possible. He looks past me, and I see his gaze lock on someone over my shoulder, but I don’t turn to see who it is. I’m frozen, fear crippling me into stone.
“Look at our little family reunion,” Alexander says, and I’m shaken out of my trance.
I take a few steps away from him, off to the side, and watch as he speaks to Miles. I look over and see Mallory partially behind him, with Captain nearby, staring at me. Understanding passes between us. He knows Miles and I hate our father. Miles has been working for years to tear Alexander’s world apart.
My mind is churning as I look at Ryan. I want him to run over and hold me, catch me before I crumple to the ground. Sink into all that protective strength I know he has. But then I want him to stay where he is and not come near me. I don’t want the evil that my father gave me to touch him. Or for my father to see another weakness I have. He’s great at using anything he can against you.
I hear raised voices, and out of the corner of my eye I see a scuffle. Before I know it Miles has Alexander pinned to the wall beside me. Still I don’t move. Just like all those years ago, I’m standing here doing nothing. Still as weak, no matter how hard I try to fight it. To pretend otherwise. I watch as Miles chokes Alexander and Captain stands by, letting it take place. The two of us do nothing to stop what’s happening, but allow it to continue.
Good, I think to myself. Let it happen. Let it finally be over. My mind wills it to happen.
But Mallory walks over and places her hand on Miles’s, ending it. Miles lets Alexander go, and I can tell in the moment he’s let everything go, as our father falls to the floor. I look down at the weakened monster at my feet and I want to spit on him. The man who’s haunted me for years, who has never been far from my thoughts. I want to make him pay for what he did to my mother, and keep him from ever doing it again. To finally stand up for her. Miles might be finished. It’s the end of the road for him. Maybe for Miles it’s over, but not for me. It’s only just begun. It won’t be over until he’s six feet under. I can’t let go.
I look up and lock eyes with Mallory, trying to clear away the pain, and I take a breath to help it pass. She knows what I’m thinking. She’s the only person I’ve ever told about that night.
“Your driver is out front, sir,” Captain says, breaking through the silence in the room.
I feel Captain beside me, and his hand slips into mine, fingers lacing with mine and locking his hold on me. His strength flows through me, and it gives me what I need. In this moment, I need to feel safe and I need to get the hell out of here. I have to face the shame at how I was once again paralyzed by my father. How can I possibly think that I can get my revenge on him when I can’t even face him?
