by Dark Angel
My life’s a mess, and I don’t know how to fix it.
“I have a career, just like all of you do. I need to go back and run things before I have nothing to go back to,” I sigh, knowing that’s not the truth.
My business will be there when I get home, but I suddenly feel the need to run as far away from all four of them as possible.
What’s wrong with me? If you had four men who wanted you entirely, would you leave? It doesn’t make any sense!
Spencer shakes his head, looking like he believes my irrational statements as much as I do.
“Babe, Sweets, what the hell are you uptight about? Come on over here and let us make you feel good. Take the tension off you,” Spencer says.
Maybe that’s what I need. My body stuffed with a cock to knock some sense into me…
No!
I can’t let this get to me right now. I need to get back to my office and make sure that everything is okay. Plus, this will never work between us all.
How can it? One woman and four men. Can you imagine how others would perceive this relationship?
I’ll be branded a complete whore.
Xane rolls his eyes. “So, you want the helicopter to fly you back to New York, right? So you can get your shit together? Because clearly, we haven’t proven to you how much we want you here, right?” Xane says, his voice filled with sarcasm.
How come whenever he talks to me like that, I instantly have my pussy juices boiling inside of me? This shit isn’t healthy. I can’t even think straight when it comes to them.
Of course, they aren’t holding me hostage, and they’ll let me leave, but am I being unreasonable with them?
“Xane, chill out dude. She needs some space, man. You know, to relax,” Spencer says.
Today’s a complete mess. All I want to do right now is check on my business. I can’t be around these four men without wanting a cock in every hole I own—or do they own them now?
Wow—how does this dominant/submissive thing even work?
Killian grabs his phone, making a call to the on-ship pilot to arrange for a flight to LaGuardia Airport. It’s the closest to the waterfront and the one that’ll be the most convenient.
“It’s arranged. The helicopter’s fueling and will be ready to take you home when you’re ready. I’m not going to sit here and demand that you stay. You know that we want you, and if that’s not enough, then so be it,” Killian says, his voice without emotion.
I feel as though there’s a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other, both fighting with me about this rash decision I’ve made.
“Thank you, Killian, for your help. I know this is unexpected, but I didn’t expect it, either. If it helps, I’ll miss you all so much. I care deeply about each of you,” I say, my voice quivering with emotions.
My eyes water, but I quickly rub them so the men won’t see that I’m breaking down into a million pieces over all of this.
I look at each one of them as they stand there, confused. My eyes are taking in their faces, though for a moment I look again at the bulges in their pants.
God, I’m a fucking wanton woman when it comes to them. All I ever think about is getting fucked!
“I’ll pack now,” I say, walking off to my cabin, fully aware I have no belongings to speak for on this ship.
As I walk away, I feel four sets of eyes on me. I know they’re mad, confused, and hurt—but I expect them to be. What I’m doing isn’t what they want, what they expect. It’s just what I need to do right now.
I think.
Once I’m alone in my cabin, I break. I don’t have to put on a happy face for anyone. The entire time I sit waiting, my eyes are full with tears.
I won’t cry, because I know I’m doing the right thing for all of us. They might not see it right now, but one day, they will.
A knock on my door about twenty minutes later shakes me back to reality.
“Come in,” I call out.
“Helicopter’s ready for you, Princess,” Derek smiles.
I can tell that he doesn’t want me to leave by the expression on his face, but I must. I have to find myself and check on my business. All those messages I missed, and none of them are important?
I know they must be holding something back.
“Thank you, Derek. I’ll be right there,” I say with an empty smile.
He’s gone before I even finish the sentence.
Taking a deep breath, I grab my small bags and make my way to the helicopter, hoping to get on without seeing them. The minute I walk out, I know that won’t happen. All four of them are waiting to say goodbye to me.
Fuck.
As I get closer to the four men, my knees feel weak.
First is Spencer. Fitting, as he was the first one I met and the one who made such an impression on me. I’ve even thought about meditation since meeting him.
I hug him tightly. No words are said.
I don’t need to talk. I fear that I won’t leave if I do. That I’ll cry or say something I regret.
Spencer hugs me tight. His strong arms squeeze around my small body.
I make my way to the end, making sure to hug them all. A part of me wishes that they would force me not to leave. Tie me to the bed and fuck me senseless, but I know that they’re all about our relationship being consensual.
I admire that more than anything.
The pilot takes my bags, helping me on the helicopter. I can’t help but look back once the door shuts.
I’m going to miss the four of them more than anything in the world. I know now that I love them all.
I can feel my heart hurting with a pain that can only come from something like this.
I wave as the helicopter lifts slowly from the pad. Just enough time for me to see the disappointment on all four of their faces.
I put on the headphones to block out the sound of the aircraft. My eyes are watching the ship until it disappears from my view. It went from overpowering to a tiny toy shape in a matter of moments.
I already miss them, and it’s only been three minutes.
I close my eyes during the flight, my heart feeling distraught about how this went. I miss them so much and wish things could be different, but I don’t see how it can. Our lives are too different, and I won’t give up who I am or what I built for anyone.
Not even for the four loves of my life.
“Ma’am, ten minutes till we land,” the pilot announces.
I thank him, sighing deeply. I want to go home and lock myself away in my apartment, but the first thing I need to do is head to the office.
Something’s wrong.
There’s no way they’ve handled it all for so long without me.
When I land, there’s a limo waiting for me.
I didn’t order it, and it only takes me a moment to realize who did. Miles apart, and I still can’t get away from their pull on my life. Their kindness, their forethought, and their care.
I’m in a fog of memories the moment I slip into the back of the limousine. I miss the four of them so deeply now. In the short time that’s passed, I feel like I’ve aged a million years.
Each one of them has impacted me so deep that I’ll never get over the feeling of loss. The weight of my life descends onto my shoulders—just as heavy, if not heavier, as when I took my very first vacation.
I love New York, but not today. Today, I hate it.
Did I do the right thing by leaving?
How can I live without them now that I know what I’ve been missing all of my life?
Chapter 32
Killian
This is bad. We put ourselves out there, and this is how we’re repaid? We should’ve seen this coming, honestly.
I look around at the other guys after the helicopter is out of sight. Derek’s staring deep into a cup of tea. Xane’s staring into the sun just starting to set over the ocean, and Spencer…is already asleep again.
“Hey,” I say to the nearest attendant. “How long until we hit land?�
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“About a day and a half, Sir,” she says.
“Fuck. Okay,” I say, slowly shaking my head. “Scotch. Strong. And whisky, on the rocks.”
She nods and walks away. Alcohol probably isn’t exactly the right response, but I can’t think of anything much better right now.
“That little…couldn’t even wait a day to talk things over…” I mumble to myself. “Fine. Whatever. Fuck it. Fuck her. Fuck everything.”
“Time, my dude,” Spencer says blearily. “Not a shit we can do right now, yeah? We gotta chill. Last leg always sucks on this one coz we can’t go fast, or we’ll just run out of fuel. Not like we’d catch up with the copter anyways, even in our little boats.”
Great. Perfect time for one of his lucid moments. When he’s right, he’s right—and I fucking hate when he is. Logic from a surfer guy’s mouth just bugs the shit out of me.
“Whatever. She can run back to her life,” I growl. “She’s just another woman, come and gone!”
I spin on my heel and walk inside to the lower deck, slamming the door hard behind me. I hear a cracking sound, but I don’t give a fuck.
Fuck Nicole for sending her to us.
Fuck Spencer for being right.
Fuck Julia for getting in my head like this.
I stare out into the slowly darkening sea off the side of the ship. I can still hear the horrid sounds of the helicopter as it carried her away. I’m reluctant to say it, but she took a piece of all of us with her.
I know I’m being an asshole. I get it.
You don’t have to judge me so much, but you have to know what heartbreak is like, right? Just a few months ago, I was on top of the fucking world. Not a single care in my life, and all that changed with a knock on my office door.
Fuck it!
I rip my shirt off and take a few steps back.
Girls, man, I think to myself as I stare at the side of the boat.
I get an easy running start and leap off the side. The water crashing around me brings me to my senses a little. It’s nice.
As I break the surface of the water, I look up. The guys are staring down at me from the top, yelling various things I can’t hear through the water in my ears. I swim around to the front of the boat as I hear them stomp down a few flights to meet me.
“What the fuck was that?” Derek screams at me.
“One bad wave, and we’d have to fetch you, you dumbass!” Xane says at the same time.
“Nice dive, dude!” Spencer laughs.
As I climb up the ladder, multiple hands grab at me. All three of them yank me up. Once I’m firmly planted, Derek slugs me in the shoulder, but I only laugh in response.
I deserved that.
“Look, there’s not a shit we can do. Tonight, at least,” I say. “But we gotta get in contact with her as soon as we can. If that means breaking down the door to her office, then so be it, but we can’t just let her walk away like this. She knows there’s more to it just as much as we do.”
“This life’s pretty overwhelming,” Xane says, nodding in agreement.
“I dunno about breaking shit down, but I know she’ll cool off soon,” Spencer says. “We just gotta chill. Reach out when we can, let her ease her way back to us, too.”
We sit down in a circle and have a full round of drinks brought to us. We sip our various flavors in silence.
“Well, I’ll just be the one to say it,” I say, holding up an empty glass to the night sky.
They each hold their respective drinks alongside mine.
“She’s under my skin,” I continue. “And you know what? Fuck it. I love her!”
“Here here!” the other three say in unison.
“So now the question is—what do we do?” Derek says.
“Well, first things first: we need to get back in contact with her,” Xane says.
“And when we do?” Spencer says.
“Well, whether we do or don’t, we need a real plan. Something to show her we’re serious more than just bending her over and smacking her ass for doing what she did,” I say.
“Something that shows her we care for real,” Derek agrees.
“Well, the only thing she really cares about is her business.” Spencer shrugs.
“Yeah, she dropped all her…hobbies just for that,” Xane says. “It’ll be ages with us until she gets some more.”
Derek sets his glass down on the table in front of us a little harder than necessary.
“Then we take care of her business!” he says triumphantly.
We stare at him blankly as he smiles to himself, as if he said something legitimately profound. After a few moments of silence from us, he looks around.
“What?” he says, slightly crestfallen that his statement didn’t have any impact. “Okay okay, I’ll explain when we’re back in the city.” He laughs. “First things first though—we gotta try to call her.”
Chapter 33
Derek
“I’m sorry, sir, but she’s in a meeting today. Can I take a message?”
I slam the phone down, sick of this shit.
Every time I call, it’s the same thing: she’s in a meeting, left for the day, or out to lunch. For fuck’s sake, she went back to New York to be more hands-on with her business, and now I can’t reach her? That assistant needs to be fucking fired!
“In a meeting—or so she says,” I say, growling out each word.
Julia had to run back, because she was confused and needed to make sure her business was okay, but now I think that was a lie. If I can’t reach her at the office, she’s somewhere else.
Every hair on the back of my neck is standing on end. I can’t believe there’s a girl that drives me crazy like this. What the hell has she done to us all?
Spencer hasn’t said ‘dude’ in 24 hours. Xane fired three assistants and isn’t even in his office. As for Killian, he’s spent so much time in the gym the past few days that his abs are starting to resemble a fucking bodybuilder’s.
As for myself, I’m livid. No, I’m pissed off. Little Princess spoiled brat needs to be taken over and have her ass spanked hard.
I might just have to do that.
I grab the phone again, calling, but this time nothing. The phone rings and disconnects. Is Julia screening her calls?
As we dock, I realize that this might be the end of it all. Julia might not want to see us at all anymore.
What the fuck’s wrong with Julia? She tells us that she loves the sex, that she has never come so hard, and yet she runs like a little girl sent to her bedroom for a timeout.
I might do just that. Lock her away till she comes to her senses.
But first, I need to find her.
The four of us meet in the main dining room for a conference. Not about business for once, but about Julia.
Leaning back in his chair, Spencer rests his feet on the table. “What can we do to change her mind that we haven’t already done? We take her on the most amazing vacation, and still, she doesn’t want us. Chicks just overthink shit too fucking much.”
He’s right. She might not realize it, but all of us care deeply about her. More than we’ve ever cared for a woman in the past.
Killian paces the floor with a bottle of water in one hand and his phone in the other. He’s also tried a few times to call Julia, but she’s refusing his calls as well. It seems she meant what she said: she couldn’t deal with a relationship like ours.
“Someone else should try and see if she’ll take the call,” I say, looking at the other two men.
Spencer grabs his phone and dials.
“Can I speak to Julia?” Spencer asks.
A few seconds later, he slides his finger across the screen and tosses it on the table without a care for its integrity.
“She’s with a client, and I should call back in a few hours.”
Even Spencer seems as frustrated as the rest of us.
All I want to know is why the fuck did she come with us, fuck all of us, let us dominate her—
even agree to our terms—then suddenly bow out?
Why?
Three days ago, we all had her on top of the fucking world.
Now she’s suddenly confused?
I lean back in my chair, my hands behind my head, and for a few minutes, the memories of the last month come rushing through my mind. The first time I met Julia, she absolutely captivated me. But stunning in looks as she was, it was her personality that truly tugged at me.
She seemed like she needed something. Little did I know then that what she needed was to truly experience life, something the four of us specialize in for others and ourselves.
Later that same day, the four of us showed her how a real orgasm felt. I’m fucking getting hard just thinking about banging her that day—bending her over the desk, and listening to her begging to cum.
That was the day I knew she was ours. Now, we just need to figure out how to convince her of that. I thought we had, but I was wrong.
Cold feet took a choke-hold of that woman.
Even when we fucked at Spencer’s island resort, she was more than receptive to it. She took both of us with no hesitation. What the fuck’s wrong with this crazy woman?
Every one of us is obsessed with her, and yet she doesn’t think it’ll work with us. I can’t wrap my brain around her thought process.
Xane, who’s been quiet through most of this, finally breaks his silence. He might’ve figured this all out; if anyone could just by meditating, it would be him.
“Here’s what we’ll do. Ignore Julia. We’ve made the last phone calls to her today. Let her stew in her own juices for a few days, and she’ll come running back to us.”
“None of us need a woman,” he continues. “We choose to have one because she’s the right one. Now, I know this sounds harsh, but if she doesn’t want us, then that’s up to her. Every one of us has something that woman can’t resist. I promise you, she’ll find her way home.”
I’ll admit—he might have something there. If we don’t chase Julia, she’ll go crazy wondering why. Women can’t refuse us.
Look at us—could you honestly refuse any one of us, much less four of the best fucking men in the city?
“Sounds like the perfect plan,” Spencer says, shrugging.
Killian nods, and he tucks his phone away in his pocket as well.
