When Jenny and I got home on Sunday morning, I was carrying my only bag, and the Pearson’s were so happy I agreed to stay. I’d never met anyone like them, and I bet they’d have a difference of opinion if they knew that I’d had sex with Jenny.
When I got to school on Monday, I went to my locker and traded out my books for first period. The halls were kind of quiet since I got there so early. I decided to skip meeting the guys at Maxwell’s. After Jett bailed out on me the other night, I figured that I’d use it as a tool for him to think I was pissed at him. I’m an evil genius that way. I wasn’t really pissed at him. He actually did me a favor. If he would’ve stuck around then I’d have never gotten with Jenny.
I slammed my locker door closed, and headed toward the exit doors. I had some time before my first class, so I figured I’d just sit outside at the picnic tables. At least that was my plan, until Tyler stopped me in the hall. The guy seriously had a death wish.
“What’s up Lepage?” His cocky attitude got under my skin.
“You always want to talk about my dick,” I smirked, shaking my head. “I don’t play for that team, Tyler. And if I did, you wouldn’t be on my to-do list.”
The door swung open when I gave it a shove, and I headed outside. Tyler was right on my heels. He was like a fucking tick that dug up under your skin.
UGH.
“Haven’t seen you with Jenny lately. Did she finally realize how nasty you are?” Tyler laughed like there was a joke that I was missing or something.
“You wish.” I grinned at him over my shoulder. “Jenny is still around man, so quit wasting your time trying to get my seconds.”
His eyes narrowed. “You sleeping with her, Lepage?”
“It’s none of your damn business.” I inched closer to his chest. He may have been taller than me, but he knew I’d lay his ass out in a heartbeat.
He started to do a slow, loud clap in front of everyone. “Never knew sweet little Jenny liked to play dirty. Good to know?” He winked before he walked off.
I don’t know how I kept my cool. My knuckles clenched, and every part of me wanted to shove his nose up through his head.
Such a prick.
It wasn’t until I calmed down, that I realized what I’d done. Tyler now had the information he needed to fuck a lot of shit up.
But worse, Jenny was standing just feet away.
Jenny
“Jenny wait,” Draven called after me, but I was fuming mad. I turned back towards the parking lot instead of the school, because I couldn’t go in there. Not after what just happened. “Jenny.”
“NO!” I yelled, turning to face him. “Get away from me Draven, and I mean it.”
I slammed my car door shut, and left. I went to the one person that I knew I could talk to who wouldn’t judge me. I cried the whole way home to my mom.
My mom knew almost everything there was to know about me. She knew I’d lost my virginity when I was sixteen thanks to a letter I wrote to Lo that I’d left in the back pocket of my jeans.
But this time it was different.
It was Draven.
They took him in, and I slept with him.
I should’ve known better. I should’ve known that somehow this would all come back to blow up in my face. Anything that had Draven’s name attached to it wouldn’t end well.
I was such an idiot.
I told my mom everything that happened. I told her about my feelings for Draven, and how I slept with him on Saturday when I told them I was at Lo’s. I told her about the issue with Tyler, and how he knew something about me that no one should know, and you know what?
Her answer was – Draven loves you.
“I don’t know what you’ve been smoking, but after everything I said, all you can tell me is that he loves me.” I rolled my eyes, wiping away the tears from my face. “He doesn’t love me.” I laughed humorlessly; offended she’d even say that. Draven wasn’t capable of loving anyone, certainly not me.
We sat on the front porch swing with a box of tissues, and Mom did what she does best. “He does,” she said with a sympathetic look on her face. “And you love him.”
I patted my face with a tissue. “No. This time you’re wrong, Mom.” I shook my head wondering if I did the right thing by telling her. “He was completely honest with me when he told me that there were no strings attached to that night. I’m such an idiot.”
“Oh honey,” she scooted closer to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “Just because he said he didn’t want a relationship, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have feelings for you. I’ve known it since that weekend he got sick. He wouldn’t let you leave his side. And when I found the two of you sleeping on the couch, he was holding you in his arms, and I just knew. He can say whatever he wants, but I’m not stupid.”
“But you let him move in here.”
“We’re not mean people, Jenny. I wasn’t going to let the poor boy go back home to that apartment where he had no food and no running water.”
She was the kindest person I’d ever known.
“But it’s Draven.” I sighed. “How can I have these feelings for him?”
“You don’t get to decide, especially when your heart makes the decision for you. So what, he has a past. Yeah, I don’t agree with some of his choices. Sure, he’s got a bit of an attitude, and he’s rough around the edges. But if he ever gave you his full heart, then I think he’d be good to you.”
The tears fell heavier now. I couldn’t hold them back if I tried. “I don’t think that will ever happen, and now look at this mess we’re in. Everyone is going to know what happened between us, and I’m going to be humiliated.”
“You’re strong, Jenny. You’ll figure out a way to get through this. You’ve got barely a month left at school, and then you won’t have to worry about it anymore. And I wish you wouldn’t worry about it now. Rumors happen to people every day in this town, and everyone survives it. You just need to figure out a way to look past it all. I know you can.”
“It just sucks.”
“I know,” she agreed, giving my shoulder a little squeeze.
“Any chance I can just stay home today, or the rest of the year?”
“No, but nice try. You’re going to be just fine. Try not to dwell on what other people have to say.” Her calming voice helped ease my nerves, but I didn’t know if I was ready to face that school full of bitches.
“What am I supposed to do about Draven? I’m so mad at him that I can barely stand to look at him.”
“Then don’t.” She said it like it was no big deal. “You have every right to be upset with him. You can stay mad as long as you want. But,” she paused. I knew there would be a –but. “If he really cares about you, then he’s going to try and make this right somehow. It’s up to you whether you let him.”
“How do you know so much about guys? Didn’t you marry Dad right after high school?” I asked her.
“Yep.” She smiled. “He was quite the ass back then too.”
We both laughed.
She let me hang out with her a little longer before heading back to school. I figured that by the time I got there, the news would be all over. When I texted Lo to tell her what happened, she told me not to worry about those wanna-be skanks at school, and to get my butt back there so that we could face them together. In a time of crisis, she always came through for me. I was sure going to miss her when it was time to leave for college. She was going to be hundreds of miles away at Florida State, and I would only get to see her on school breaks. I tried to convince her that New York was her city, but she said she wanted to go back home for school. She lived in Florida before she moved to New Hampshire, and she left all her family there. I couldn’t blame her for wanting to go back, but it was sure going to be hard to let her go.
She met me at the front entrance of school when I got back so that she could walk with me down the halls.
“Did you hear anyone talking about it yet?” I asked. Her face looked pitiful. “I
figured. Word travels fast in these halls.” I sighed, nibbling on my bottom lip. I hated that I cared what these people thought of me.
“Don’t sweat it girl. The only reason any of these sluts around here would say anything is because they’re jealous. Draven might have a bad reputation, and crappy attitude, but there’s no denying that he is hot as hell. They’re all just mad that they didn’t get with him first.”
That made me laugh. “Thanks,” I told her. “That’s exactly what I needed to hear.”
The rest of the school day moved at a snail’s pace. I only teared up once, and I didn’t let anyone see. There were a few snickers, and a couple of girls asked me if it was true. I tried to ignore it all, until I heard a crowd of girls call me ‘white trash lover’ in the hallway. It’s hard to go from non-existent to today’s topic overnight. It’s even harder to hear all the mean things that they had to say about Draven and I. He was to blame for this whole mess, but it still didn’t feel good when people called him trash, or the murderer’s son.
After lunch, I spent ten minutes in the bathroom feeling completely sorry for myself. I was doing some serious wallowing. I had yet to see Draven or Tyler, and wondered if the two of them were secretly best friends and if they were seeking my demise. I made myself laugh at that one. Nothing would surprise me this day.
Once the final bell rang, I didn’t even stop by my locker. I wanted to go to Maxwell’s and get the largest latte I could order, and sit in my corner table where no one could see me. I wanted to go back to being invisible, and I wanted Lo with me.
I sent her a text during my last class, and she told me she’d meet me at my car.
She wasn’t there yet, but Tyler was.
Just when I thought the day couldn’t get any worse, I had to see his stupid face.
He was smug. His broad shoulders were pulled together, by the crossing of his arms over his chest. I used to think that he was sexy as hell. We could just add that to my list of stupidities for the day. They were sure adding up.
“Move,” I told him. He was perched against my driver’s side door, blocking me from getting in.
His laughter filled the air, and I could feel the stares from behind my back. I won’t lie when I say I wanted to run away and never look back. But I couldn’t.
“You look pretty today, Jenny.” There was a rebellious glow about him. “Pretty well rode,” he added. “If I would’ve known you’d give it up so easily, I would’ve propositioned you at the party. I probably could’ve had you right there, huh?”
Those traitorous tears were forming in my eyes, but I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t just stand there and not say anything. “You never had a chance with me,” I said, clenching my jaw.
“Why? Because I’m not dirty, or poor enough.”
I heard Lo call out my name from behind me, but it was already too late. My knee had connected with his balls and he immediately fell to his knees. I knew I’d hurt him, because I used every ounce of force I had in me. He’d be lucky if he could walk before the week was up.
“The next time you want to run your mouth about me all over school, remember this.” I growled. “You don’t fucking know me, and I’ll sleep with whoever the hell I want to. I was gentle this time, dear, but I won’t be so gentle next time.” My words were laced with hatred and anger. I didn’t care who heard me or what they had to say. I was royally pissed off, and he should’ve kept his mouth shut.
“That’s my girl. Let’s get out of here,” Lo cheered.
We climbed in the car and pulled out of the parking lot. Draven’s eyes locked with mine as we passed him. I wondered if he saw that show, or not. If I had to guess, then by the look in his eyes, I’d say he did.
Draven
After a week of nothing but tutoring with Jenny, I was on edge. She wouldn’t let me talk about anything if it didn’t pertain to schoolwork. I tried every trick in the book, but I got nothing.
I wanted so badly to know what happened in the parking lot at school with Tyler. I heard several different stories around school, but I didn’t know which version to believe. I’d come outside that afternoon to find him on his knees by her car. I knew she’d taken him down, and I was fucking proud of her, but he must’ve said some horrible things for her to do it. I hated that it was my fault he had. All because I couldn’t keep my big mouth shut. When would I learn?
The next day, I cornered him in the locker room of the gym and threatened to tell everyone that I saw him buy an ounce of cocaine buy my apartment building. I hadn’t really seen him, but some friends of mine had. I should’ve told everyone I knew about it, but I wanted to have that leverage over him. I wanted something that I could use to keep him away from Jenny. When he said he’d leave her alone, I wasn’t so sure, but he hadn’t even looked in her direction the whole week. Either my plan worked, or he was scared shitless that his balls would be kicked up inside him.
By Friday afternoon I was going nuts. She wouldn’t let me apologize to her, and she was so short with me that I couldn’t stand it. I deserved everything she was giving me, but I just wanted to tell her how sorry I was.
At 2:15 I had an appointment with the guidance counselor about my grades, and I was nervous. I’d been working hard at getting my grades up, and a few of my teachers let me make up some past work that I had missed. The last thing I needed to hear was that I wasn’t going to pass. I didn’t need that kind of disappointment.
“Have a seat, Mr. Lepage,” the counselor told me, directing me to the chairs directly in front of her desk. “I called you in here to talk about your grades, but I’m sure you already knew that,” she explained. I just shook my head. “The tutoring is paying off. Your GPA is up to a 1.9 and it looks like you’re going to graduate with your class, so long as you pass you pass your finals with a D or above. Which I believe you can? Your teachers tell me how smart you are, when you apply yourself.
I got a little choked up at her words. I was going to graduate high school. I hadn’t realized how much I wanted that. I think I kept telling myself I didn’t care, hoping one day I’d believe it. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me. You’re the one who did the work. But you might want to thank Ms. Jenny Pearson for helping you.”
“I will.” And I would, if she ever let me talk to her again.
“Oh, and before you go.” She stopped me. “You are eligible to attend prom next weekend. You have the grades to go.”
“Prom?” I let those foreign words roll off my tongue. I hadn’t given one thought to the annual dance.
“Yes, prom,” she laughed. “Now you’re free to go.”
I felt like I was floating on a cloud when I walked out of that office, and the one person I wanted to share the news with wouldn’t speak to me.
There was someone else that I thought might like to know. So after class, I went straight home to talk to Mrs. Pearson. The excitement of graduating was too much for me to keep to myself. She pushed me to study at home, and she took me in so that I wouldn’t have to go back to that shitty apartment. I really wanted to share it with her. I’d never had a mother figure, but I figured Mrs. Pearson was one of the best.
She had this glowing look on her face when I told her the good news in the kitchen. Her husband Steve was there too, so I got to share it with the both of them. Jenny had gone prom dress shopping with Lo or that’s what her parent’s told me. I wish she would’ve been there to hear my news, but I was going to make that girl talk to me sooner or later.
“That is great Draven, truly.” Mrs. Pearson wrapped me in a big mom sized hug.
“Thank you.”
“Good job, Son.” Steve held out his hand. I took it with ease, and wondered in that moment what my Dad would say about it.
“I was hoping to thank Jenny.” I shrugged.
“She’ll probably be gone half the night. Girls and dresses, you know?” Mrs. Pearson told me. “Are you going to prom?”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “The guidance
counselor told me today that I could, but… I don’t know.”
“If you’d like to, you know, we could get you a tux,” Steve said. It sort of shocked me. They were willing to get me a tux. I wasn’t even their kid. And if they knew half the things I’d done to Jenny, they’d probably strangle me and kick me out on my ass.
“It’s okay. I’m not really the prom type of guy.”
“It’s your first prom, Draven.” Mrs. Pearson smirked. “You can’t possibly know if you’re the prom type of guy.”
“Come on, Son. I’ve got the night off. Let’s go see what we can find you.” Steve kissed his wife and even though I was hesitant, I went with him.
My intentions for the night weren’t to go shopping with Jenny’s Dad. I didn’t even know how we got to that point. Mrs. Pearson was obviously very persuasive.
Prom?
What the hell was I thinking?
On the drive there, Steve didn’t say too much. But when he parked the car, it seemed he remembered every damn thing he’d been waiting to tell me.
“Did you break her heart?” His hands were wrapped tightly around the steering wheel. I knew he meant Jenny. I just wasn’t sure what to say. It’s hard to talk about these things with anyone, let alone a father. I also wasn’t sure if “break her heart” was code for something else that I was most certainly not discussing.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I disappointed her.”
He nodded a few times. “Do you love her?”
“I… Um…I…” Fuck. I didn’t know. I mean, I’d never loved anybody. Jenny made me feel things that no one else had. She pushed me to my limits. She made feel strong when I was with her. She laughed at my stupid ass jokes. She tore me up when she cried. She made me proud when she was strong. She was the most beautiful girl I’d ever met.
Into dark water Page 11
