by Ella Fox
What if I was head over heels for someone who only saw me as a vacation romance?
18
Alejandro
Night after night of heavy make out sessions with Kaya had me walking on air. My girl was perfect, and my family was about to arrive for vacation. I couldn’t wait to introduce her to everyone. My mood was ecstatic—and then Wednesday came.
“You’re a love sick sucker, and it’s annoying,” Rafe declared as he walked into the kitchen, pulled two pieces of bread out from the bread storage on the counter and slid them into the toaster oven.
I raised my eyebrow and pinned him with a look as I finished drinking my orange juice and set the glass down on the island. His appearance in the kitchen before noon was unexpected but the fact that it was just after seven in the morning made it downright shocking.
“Love sick is bad,” I said dryly. “I’m love drunk. There’s a big difference.”
He grimaced and shook his head as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the countertop. “So you’re admitting that you love her?”
I shrugged. “You say admitting as if it’s something I should try to hide or be ashamed of. I fell in love when she fell into my arms, Rafael. She is my other half.”
He looked mildly sickened by my announcement. “Jesus, Jandro. Do you hear yourself? You’ve known the girl for five goddamn minutes, and you’re talking about her like she’s going to be at your side in forty years.”
I couldn’t believe he was starting shit with me. My temper flared as I glared across the island at him. “I believe she will be. I found my one, Rafael. There is nothing wrong with that.”
He rolled his eyes and made a dismissive sound.
“Where is this coming from?” I snapped. “I thought you were coming around to Kaya. You’ve been reasonably pleasant to her, and now suddenly you're an asshole again. What’s changed in the last twenty-four hours?”
It was like watching all of the wind go out of his sails. His shoulders sagged as he looked away. “You’re right. I’m being a dick. Sorry. I’m in a bad fucking mood—I shouldn’t be taking it out on you.”
“Is this because you’re tired? Have you not been to bed yet?”
The sound of the toaster beeping gave him an excuse to turn away. After pulling out a plate from the cabinet, he opened the toaster and slid his toast onto it. “I went to sleep at midnight last night,” he said over his shoulder as he walked to the fridge and opened it. Pulling out the brand of blueberry jam he favored, he made his way back to the counter.
“So you’re cranky because your schedule is changing?”
I didn’t believe that for a second, but I knew my brother well enough to know that he needed to be the one to volunteer the information. If I attempted to force it out of him by demanding that he talk, he’d walk away.
He paused between slicing off a pad of butter and applying it to his toast. “No. I’m in a bad mood because I got an email from my attorney. Francesca has been given a release date.”
My stomach dropped at his words. While my brother’s ex-girlfriend was the stuff of nightmares, her actions hadn’t just affected him. After she’d fucked him over by faking a pregnancy she’d tried to extort money from our eldest brother Mateo. When that didn’t work, she’d lost her mind and run our sister-in-law off the road. Francesca had almost single-handedly destroyed my family, so none of us had any love for her. I knew the shit would hit the fan once Mateo was told she was getting out. If I’d thought security was tight around him and Ava before, it was only going to get worse.
I ran through a million things to say, but the truth was there was nothing that would make Rafe’s situation any better. He’d been suffering because he’d thought he was having a child only to find that had all been a lie. He was barely dealing with that when the lunatic went after Ava, and the guilt of having the girl he’d been dating almost kill his best friend sent him into a downward spiral that was still touch and go.
“There will be a restraining order,” I pointed out. “Security will not let her near—”
“Fuck security,” he barked as he threw the knife he’d been using down to the counter. “Fuck it all. I’m not scared of her, Jandro. I’m furiously angry because I don’t understand how they can think she’s paid her debt to society. She’ll never have done enough time to pay for what she did to me—and I damn sure know she didn’t do enough time for what she did to Ava. Mateo is going to be a fucking lunatic about this, and it just makes me feel shittier. I’m the one that brought her into our lives. It’s my fault she went after Avelina.”
It killed me every time he said that. He was far too hard on himself, and it wasn’t helping him heal.
“It’s true that she was in our lives because of her connection to you, but that isn’t your fault, Rafael. No one—especially not Mateo or Ava—blames you for what she did. The person who gets the lion’s share of the blame for the accident is Francesca—with a little bit of Ava’s mother thrown in for helping it along.”
“Bitches,” he grumbled as he picked the knife up from the counter. “It’s always bullshit. Almost every damn one is a lying liar who lies. That’s why I’m advising you to exercise caution with Kaya. Sure, she seems nice—but let’s be real, here. How much of her nice is down to the fact that you basically have a Brinks money truck rolling behind you at all times? She’s probably faker than a fresh pair of Beverly Hills tits on a reality TV star.”
I closed my eyes for a few seconds and took a few calming breaths as I reminded myself that I loved my brother—and punching him in the face wasn’t going to solve any problems.
“She’s not fucking fake,” I said through gritted teeth. “If anything, my having money is a negative to her.”
He tapped on the side of his head twice with his forefinger. “Or maybe that’s what she wants you to think. All I’m saying is, watch your valuables.”
I clenched my jaw and did my best to contain all of the curse words I wanted to lambaste him with.
“Get your shit together, Rafe. I’m in fucking love with Kaya and you being a fucking asshole about it isn’t okay. Stop projecting your shit onto other people unless you want to lose them. You’re my brother, and I love you, but the next time you imply that my woman is a thieving criminal who thrives on deception, I’m going to lay you the fuck out.
“Straight up—your experience isn’t mine. I’m sorry about what happened with Francesca, but I am also sick to fucking death of it. She fucked you over and I get that one hundred percent, but I also remember something that you conveniently ignore. You were never in love with her, Rafael. Not even for one day—including when you were teenagers. She was never your person. She didn’t break your heart—she couldn’t since she never had it. She broke your spirit because she was a lying cunt but you were not ever devastated by the loss of her. The knowledge that the child you believed she carried didn’t exist devastated you—but not her. Not ever her. There’s no reason for you to be this fucking miserable. And quite frankly the longer you stay this way— the more she wins. You being a fucked up asshole is exactly what she would want.”
Without another word, I spun on my heel, stalked out of the house and left for work.
The day from hell only got worse from there. I wasn’t even at my desk yet when Letty started blowing up my phone— again. I’d blocked five of her phone numbers over the previous months, but clearly, she’d gotten yet another number. I’d personally talked to her after the day she’d blown up my phone for the first time when I’d been with Mateo picking up his anniversary gift. I’d made myself damn clear, and she’d pretended to understand—but two weeks later she’d started again. I texted her and told her she was barking up the wrong tree and then promptly blocked her number.
I thought that was that, but it wasn’t because she kept coming back with new cell numbers. Eventually, I’d realized it wasn’t going to stop. Although it was inconvenient as hell, I’d had no choice but to change my own number, which had i
nfuriated me. Somehow she’d gotten ahold of my new number, which meant she was back to her old tricks. I was through being nice, so before I blocked her newest number, I texted her bluntly and told her that if she didn’t stop I was going to get a restraining order.
I spent the rest of the day putting out fires—my half day quickly turning into a full day. By the time I got into my car to go home, it felt like my fucking head had been in a vise for hours. I ground my teeth together and dealt with the ridiculous L.A traffic, keeping my shit together so that I could get home to Kaya. Without a doubt, I knew that seeing her was going to turn my whole day around.
That all went to shit when I walked into her house and realized something was off with her. She was jumpy and forgetful, which wasn’t at all like her, so much so that she’d burnt the first round of paninis she tried to make because she was busy stressing out about god only knew what. Twice I’d asked her what was up and twice she’d answered that everything was fine. Spoiler alert: when people say things are fine, they almost never are. In my experience fine has always been code for fucked.
I walked up behind her at the counter and set my hands on her shoulders, massaging them gently as she worked on the second round of paninis. “What’s wrong, Belleza?”
“I’m just out of sorts today,” she murmured.
“Any particular reason why?”
I frowned when she tensed under my hands. For whatever reason, my woman wasn’t happy, and I needed to fix that. She sighed and shook her head.
“It’s just something I need to work through in my own head. Don’t worry about it—everything is fine.”
There was that goddamn word again—fine. Someone needed to remove that shit from the planet.
“Belleza,” I groaned. “Please talk to me.”
She opened the lid on the panini press and pulled the sandwiches out, sliding them onto plates. “I already ruined the sandwiches once,” she said with what I could tell was forced enthusiasm. “We should eat.”
Since the sandwiches were already plated and she wasn’t holding onto anything, I stepped back and guided her to turn around so I could look into her eyes.
“The more you say things are fine, the more certain I am that whatever is bothering you has to be about me—about us.”
Kaya groaned and leaned her forehead against my chest. “I’m going to sound so stupid—or worse; I’m going to sound crazy. This is a Seinfeld moment. It’s every guy’s nightmare.”
“Kaya. Talk to me. I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“Ugh. Don’t blame me when I tell you and it makes you want to rip your hair out. I’m stressing out because you’re leaving,” she mumbled against my chest.
“What? No, I’m not. My family is arriving in three days—”
“After that,” she blurted. “Your home is in Spain, Alejandro. I thought I could do this fun and easy dating thing. No pressure, no commitments—and I know this is a vacation romance for you, but the truth is that…”
There was a long pause.
“The truth is?” I prodded.
“Um. The truth is that I’m in… uh, I’m getting attached.”
My heart felt like it was in a vise. I knew she wasn’t where I was—not yet—but hearing her say she was only starting to get attached chafed. I wasn’t attached to her—I was addicted. I breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth as I forced myself to stay focused by reminding myself that Mateo had waited for almost a full year to claim Avelina. The reminder didn’t work as well as it could have because the only reason he’d waited had been that she’d been in high school. Kaya was an adult, and we were already together. I gave myself a stern reality check with the firm reminder that Kaya was my end game. Like Avelina had been for Mateo, I knew Kaya was worth the wait.
I cupped the sides of her face and guided her to tilt her head back so I could look into her eyes. “I’m not going anywhere, Belleza. This is so much more than a vacation romance,” I said firmly.
I could see what my words meant to her—but I could also see the struggle written all over her face. “But eventually you’ll leave,” she whispered.
I’d been taking things slow for her, but I wasn’t letting her slip through my fingers by being a dumbass. I shook my head. “No, Kaya. I won’t. When I think about my future, you are there with me. I hope that you feel the same way.”
My heart pounded in my chest as a shy smile took over her face. “You see me as part of your future?”
I nodded. “Of course. This thing between us isn’t going anywhere, Belleza.”
She went up on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around my neck as she hugged me. “Now I feel silly for getting all panicky.”
I smiled, happy that the crisis had been averted. Hugging her tightly, I lifted her off her feet and spun her in a circle. “It’s never silly to care,” I said when I stopped. She grinned and tilted her head back to look up at me.
“Now that we’ve solved that, I’m suddenly starving. How about you?”
I was fucking starving for Kaya. I’d never wanted anyone the way I wanted her. Leaving each night and going home to my empty bed was torture. I ached to be inside of her, but until I knew she was ready, I wasn’t going there. I never, ever wanted her to regret anything we did, and even though her body was ready, I knew she wasn’t one hundred percent sure. Until she was, I’d continue beating off in the shower pretending it was her hand doing the work. It wasn’t ideal but knowing the result would be the two of us together made it livable.
“I could eat,” I laughed. Before setting her down, I kissed her softly. She blinked up at me dreamily once she was on her feet.
“We’re revisiting that after dinner,” she said.
“You don’t need to tell me twice,” I chuckled.
“The sooner we eat, the sooner we can get back to it,” she teased.
The tension that I’d held between my shoulders since the exchange with my brother in the kitchen that morning finally dissolved. Kaya and I were fine, which meant all was right with the world.
19
Kaya
I made my decision the second he said he saw me in his future. I’d chickened out of telling him I’d fallen for him and had settled on saying I was getting attached. The understatement there was so massive it was almost indescribable, but I’d wanted to save face.
He frowned as he ate the first half of his panini and I just picked at mine. Instead of questioning me about it, he picked up the second half of his and held it up to my lips. “Eat, Belleza.”
One of my favorite things about Alejandro was the way he made me feel so cherished. I knew some people would see it as odd that he liked to feed me here and there, but to me, it was another example of what an amazing catch he was. I smiled and took a bite, nodding when he asked if it was good.
“Then why aren’t you eating?”
I knew that a blush had stained my cheeks as I finished chewing and swallowed. “I’m not hungry.”
He looked at me suspiciously. “You love food, and I know you were looking forward to these paninis all day. What changed?”
I took a sip of my iced tea before standing. “I can’t explain—I’ll have to show you. Wait here for a minute, okay? I need to run upstairs real quick.”
He was confused, but he nodded anyway. Turning on my heel, I hurried up the stairs into my bedroom and stopped in front of the mirror on the dresser. Picking up my hairbrush I ran it through my hair until it was as shiny and glossy as it was ever going to be. I checked my makeup and then applied a fresh layer of cotton candy lip balm, surveying myself in the mirror before I nodded approval at myself. So far, so good. After I lit the watermelon candle, I kept on the dresser I went and closed the curtains for privacy. When I was finished, I kicked off my jeweled sandals, grabbed the hem of my peach colored summer dress and pulled it over my head. That left me clad only in a pretty periwinkle lace bra and underwear set. I debated putting on something sexier for half a second before I shook
my head in the negative. I didn’t want to be over-the-top; I wanted to be real.
After tossing my dress into the hamper in my bedroom, I went to the top of the stairs, called for Alejandro and asked him to come up. When he got to the bottom of the stairs and looked up at me, the expression on his face almost melted me on the spot. I knew I’d never forget the way he looked at me, like he’d just stumbled upon a treasure.
“Belleza?”
The way he was looking at me took away every speck of nervousness I’d had while I’d been getting undressed. I crooked my finger at him with a grin. “I’m already attached, Alejandro, and I want you—now.”
His eyes never left mine as he took the stairs two at a time, gathering me up into his arms when he reached the top. “Which way?” he asked.
I gestured back over my left shoulder. “I’m right there at the end of the hall.”
I felt all lit up inside as he carried me down the hall into my bedroom. He grinned when he noticed the jar candle burning on my dresser as he walked to my bed. “Setting the mood?” he asked.
I bit my lip and nodded. “You already know how much I love the taste of watermelon,” I answered, referring to my love of Jolly Ranchers. “Now you know that I love the smell, too.”
He set me down on the bed so that I was seated on the edge and then he stepped between my legs. Cupping my face, he grinned at me wolfishly. “Kind of like how much I love the smell and taste of you. I’ll tell you a secret. When I’m at work I daydream about getting home so that I can kiss you. I had my assistant order me some Jolly Ranchers—and now, each morning when I go to work, I pick one of your two favorite flavors and suck on one to hold me over until I can get back to you.”
If I hadn’t already decided to sleep with him, that would’ve done it. I swallowed thickly and stared up at him in awe. “Knowing that is ridiculously hot,” I murmured.
