‘You tried,’ he assured her, setting the box back down. ‘Which is more than I can say for myself.’
Kait thought about making up some outlandish encouraging anecdote, saying she was sure he’d tried in his own way. But Branch Sterling had never been a man who ran away from a fight, or put himself first before those he loved. Yet, he had hightailed it out of Port Landon and returned only because of his beloved grandparents. He’d run, used work as an excuse to stay away, and had come back now, without his family to hide behind. She couldn’t lie to him. She wouldn’t.
‘You know,’ she said instead, turning the ornament slowly in her hand, ‘cardinals are supposedly messengers from heaven. They show up when you need them most.’
‘Is that right?’ Branch reached out and ran a finger across the smooth glass of the bear’s head. ‘You think Grandma Addie’s trying to send me a message?’
‘I think it’s an awful coincidence that you pulled that out of the box and gave it to me, seeing as I knew what cardinals symbolized and you didn’t.’
The smile that formed on Branch’s lips sent goosebumps across her skin. ‘It wasn’t a coincidence I pulled it out of the box, Kaitie.’
‘What do you mean?’ Confused settled in, furrowing her eyebrows.
Branch pointed at the ornament. ‘That was Grandma Addie’s favorite ornament. She was the one to put it on the tree every Christmas. That thing’s been passed down for at least three generations that I know of.’ His grin grew wider. ‘It’s not a Christmas ornament, per se, but Grandma Addie hung it up every year, anyway, because of what it signified to her.’
Kait stared at it, the bear suddenly feeling warm in her clammy hands. ‘What does it signify?’
Branch reached out and closed his hand over hers, the ornament wedged between them. ‘Grandma Addie always told me that ornament was magic. It brought people together. People who were meant to be together, that is.’ He paused, his dark eyes locking with hers. ‘It was passed down to her the day before she met Grandpa Duke.’
Kait’s mouth opened but no sound came out. The ornament felt heavy as lead in her palm, and Branch’s hand enveloping hers was burning her up from the inside out. ‘I … I don’t know what’s happening right now, Branch.’
He stepped in, close enough that their clasped hands touched his chest. ‘Me neither, but I want to be here, so I can find out. So we can find out.’
The walls could have crumbled down around them; Kait wouldn’t have noticed. She was too enthralled with the words that had fallen from his lips, and what they meant.
Branch wanted to stay. Here. ‘You’re serious?’
‘I’ve got promises to make good on.’
Eventually, Kait was sure she would have a million questions as to how exactly it was going to work, where they went from here. But, right now, she didn’t care about the logistics. The only thing she cared about was the man in front of her, holding her hand, telling her he wanted to stay in Port Landon. With her.
‘Okay.’ She sounded dazed even to her own ears.
Branch chuckled. ‘Okay.’ He released her hand. ‘Go put the ornament on the tree.’
‘Are you sure?’ She didn’t want to take a family tradition from him if he wanted the honor of hanging it up himself.
‘Grandma Addie gave me a house, a new beginning, and a path straight back to you. I’m going to go out on a limb and agree with you; finding that ornament today was no coincidence. Go on.’
She was pretty sure her heart was about to beat out of her chest as she turned and stepped forward, slipping the gold string onto the pine branch, watching as the red and green lights behind it illuminated the bear’s shiny contours.
From behind, Branch’s arms slipped around her, and he rested his chin on her shoulder, gazing at the ornament with her. ‘That’s perfect, Kaitie.’
‘It is.’ Not just the ornament, but the moment itself. Her very own Christmas miracle. Her head tilted against his, she smiled. A genuine one.
‘For what it’s worth, I agree with you about the cardinal, too,’ Branch whispered.
‘You think she’s trying to send you a message?’
‘I think she already did, it just took me a little longer to sit down and listen,’ he laughed, hugging her tighter. ‘But, message received, Grandma Addie. Loud and clear.’
All the late nights and early mornings were starting to catch up with Kait. She thought she’d been a billboard for fatigue before, her most alluring dream being twelve hours of uninterrupted sleep under the thick downy comforters of her own bed, but she had bypassed the definition of fatigue completely and headed straight to pure and utter exhaustion.
She had no one to blame but herself, and truth be told, even with her heavy-lidded eyes and foggy brain, she didn’t regret all the time she was awake lately. She would do it all again, in the exact same way, if it meant she felt the way she did right now. Because underneath that excessive tiredness was a sense of accomplishment, a swell of pride …
And a pulse of anticipation.
It had been so long since Kait had been excited about something. She couldn’t recall the last time she woke up with anything but a need just to make it through the day unscathed by life itself. She was all about survival, for her and for her family. Existence. Being there, showing up, and doing what she could to make it through the next twenty-four hours, knowing the only thing she needed to do after that was wake up and do it all over again.
I’ve got promises to make good on, he had said. Yesterday, Branch had made his choice – he wanted to stay in Port Landon. He was choosing to see his grandparents’ estate as a gift rather than a burden or a reminder of what he had lost. It was his now, and he wanted to keep it. He wanted to try. Not run, like last time, but try.
Kait was going crazy. She had to be. Who else would remember all the things that happened when they were younger, be painfully aware that he had been gone from her life for ten long years, and then welcome him home with open arms like he’d done her a favor by coming back?
She would blame the daze she was walking around in for her lack of judgment, but Kait knew it wasn’t just because of her exhaustion lowering her guard.
It was hard to judge someone when you loved them. Wasn’t that the definition of unconditional, after all? There was a time when she had tried to hate him – she had certainly wanted to – but there was no denying the truth.
Kait’s love for Branch had always been stronger than her hate, even when she couldn’t admit it to herself. There was no way to hide it anymore. As time passed, the mention of his name had faded, going from the main topic of everyone’s coffee chatter to barely spoken at all, which made it easier to ignore. Time itself had allowed her wounds to scar over, the sting less acute.
Once he showed up in town, however, in front of her, time might as well have rewound itself. Her feelings for him were there, as though she was eighteen again. The only difference was that the sting wasn’t just less acute. It was gone, along with the hatred she had once clung to so desperately.
Yet, her love for him remained, despite everything. Allison and Paige were right; she couldn’t ignore that.
Even if a select few people wanted her to.
It being her sister’s day off, Kait expected to see Janna the moment she dragged her weary body through the door of their shared house. The morning shift had been surprisingly busy at The Port. The part she didn’t see coming was when Janna met her at the door and spoke up over the loud babbling of toddler conversation going on in the living room.
‘Can we talk?’
Kait didn’t even have her boots off yet. She suppressed the groan rising in her throat. When were her sister and Zach going to get the hint that she wasn’t going to partake in an intervention? She didn’t want it, and she was willing to accept whatever consequences came of her actions. Why wasn’t that enough?
‘Sure, what’s up?’ Goodness, she needed to learn to handle confrontation better. It had been days, though, since her
older sister had uttered more than trivial small talk her way, obviously upset by Kait’s blatant dismissal of her worries where Branch was concerned, so it was good to know she hadn’t written her off completely.
Janna pushed away from the doorway, nodding toward the living room. Regardless of how serious their conversation might be, nothing was more crucial than being sure not to leave two overly curious toddlers unattended.
Kait followed her silently, wishing she could disappear upstairs and shower. She was sure she smelled like an oversized French fry. The old glider rocking chair she settled into smelled like tomato sauce, a by-product of one of those few incidents when she and Janna had somehow let the boys out of their sight for a fraction of a second, so she didn’t figure it mattered much.
‘If this is about Branch …’ She really didn’t care to argue again.
Janna chose a spot on the floor beside the twins, where they were building a wavering tower of plastic blocks, leaning dangerously to one side.
‘This isn’t about Branch,’ she assured her. ‘It’s about you.’
‘Me?’
Janna pushed one of the blocks into position, preventing the tower from falling and the tears that were sure to come with it. ‘I try so hard to do what’s right, Kait. So hard.’
Kait hadn’t expected that. She leaned forward, her eyebrows furrowed. ‘I know that. Where’s this coming from?’
Janna didn’t make eye contact. ‘I’ve tried so hard to do what’s right,’ she repeated, ‘But I guess I never stopped to think if what was right for me was right for you, too.’
Maybe it was her tiredness, or it could have been her muddled thoughts, but Kait didn’t understand. ‘What are you talking about, Janna?’
‘When things went bad with Dorion, and when these two little guys were born …’ She raised her head. ‘I didn’t ask you to stay in town. Or to move in and help me the way you did. The way you still do.’
‘I never said you did.’ Guilt was forming in Kait’s stomach, strong and caustic.
‘I know,’ she agreed. ‘But even though I didn’t ask, you did it, anyway. You took charge of the situation like you were the big sister, not me. Like you always do. I didn’t ask, but I expected it from you, just the same.’
‘Janna—’
‘No, let me finish.’ She held up a hand. ‘I never fought you on it because I needed the help. I needed someone to help me through this, and as usual, that someone was you. Coming to the rescue and acting like we’re the same person, somehow – that’s you in a nutshell.’
Silence ensued. Kait didn’t have a leg to stand on when it came to that argument, and she knew it.
‘I didn’t want you to make the same mistakes I did,’ Janna continued. ‘You’d already had your heart broken once, and it killed me to watch you hurt that bad. I took your help when you offered it because I needed you, but I also let you move in and everything because I thought I was protecting you.’
If it wasn’t for the formidable tower building going on the middle of the living room floor, Kait was sure she would have been able to hear a pin drop. ‘Protect me from what?’ She choked the words out, her throat thick with emotion. Her older sister wasn’t a heart-to-heart kind of woman. She obviously had things she needed to get out.
Janna chuckled hollowly. ‘I wish I knew, now. But I’ve held on to you so tight since the accident, been so vocal about the things you do and the people you’re with, I think I’ve managed to isolate you from everything and everyone around you but me.’
‘That’s not true.’ Elbows on her thighs, Kait stared at her with pleading eyes. ‘I’m here because I want to be.’
‘What you want is to be with Branch Sterling, Kait.’ Janna’s eyes were full of concern, but they never wavered. ‘And I want you to know that I might not like it, might not like him, but I won’t be the one to stand in your way of that. I don’t ever want you to think you have to make a choice.’
A single, hot tear trailed down Kait’s cheek and she wiped it away hastily. ‘Oh my gosh, Janna,’ she whispered. She didn’t know what to think, what to say. The whole speech was so unexpected and so, well, un-Janna-like, Kait was reeling.
‘I wanted to prevent you from making mistakes,’ her older sister sniffed, ‘But I think I prevented you from really living in the process, too. I’m sorry, Kit Kat.’
The sound of her childhood nickname on Janna’s lips threw her into an all-out crying fest. She dove forward and wrapped her arms around her sister, stunning the two toddlers beside them into silence.
‘What I have or haven’t done in life isn’t your fault,’ Kait cried into her hair, refusing to let go. ‘I don’t regret a second of it, and you shouldn’t, either. I’ve been right where I wanted to be, beside you, with these two rugrats.’
As if on cue, two sets of grubby hands pushed up against her side, and she pulled away to find both boys, arms spread wide, trying their darnedest to be involved in a four-way group hug.
‘Come here, you two.’ She scooped one boy up, while Janna hugged the other against her chest, crying openly now.
‘You didn’t make any mistakes, Janna.’
Through her tears, Janna’s head turned, confused. ‘Yeah, right.’
‘It wasn’t a mistake you made to love Dorion the way you did,’ she continued. ‘Loving someone isn’t a mistake. Ever.’
‘I’m going to have to say I disagree with you on that one, sister dearest.’
Kait knew she would, but it was her turn to stand on the podium and let her speech be known. ‘Go ahead,’ she said, pointing between them at the two small faces peering back at her. ‘But look at these boys. No, you definitely didn’t make a mistake. I think everything happens for a reason, and just because things didn’t work out the way you wanted doesn’t mean it was wrong, or a mistake.’
Janna tapped one boy on the nose, making him grin. ‘You’re not just talking about Dorion.’
Kait let out a long breath. ‘Branch isn’t the fly-by-night teenager you think you remember. He’s not an eighteen-year-old with a skewed view of the world. He’s different, now. Mature. And you should hear his ideas about the things he wants to do to fix up Duke and Addie’s house. He wants to stay, Janna.’ She hadn’t said the words aloud yet, still trying to let them sink in. But now that they were out, it made the corners of her mouth turn upward. ‘Branch wants to stay in Port Landon.’
‘You really believe he will?’ There she was, the skeptical Janna she knew and adored.
‘I do,’ she replied without hesitation. ‘I believe him, and I love him. I don’t think I ever stopped.’
Her sister stared at her long and hard. It could have been seconds or minutes that passed, it was hard to tell. ‘Kait, a stranger off the street could’ve told you that.’
Oh. So much for it being a surprising revelation, then. ‘He’s different, Janna,’ she assured her once more. ‘I’m telling you, things are going to be different this time.’
‘I hope so, because I don’t want to have to track him down if he leaves you in the broken mess you were in last time.’ Her eyes said she was pessimistic at best, but Janna’s mouth had the faintest curl to it.
It was the closest thing to her blessing Kait was going to get. Still, it meant more to her than she could ever say.
Chapter 16
Branch
Branch had heard Grandma Addie say it time and time again, in a variety of different ways. Time flies … don’t be in a hurry to grow up … time goes by in the blink of an eye … He had always listened to her when she reminded him of it, but he’d never truly witnessed the truth of her anecdotes until now. Then again, maybe it wasn’t so much a matter of experiencing it for the first time as it was actually paying attention to each day as it passed and feeling the clock tick by a little faster as the month drew to a close.
How in the world there were only twelve full days left in December, he had no idea. The fact that it meant there were only five days left until Christmas Eve was eve
n more unthinkable. Five more days to pull off the dinner he hoped would do his grandmother’s memory justice.
It was only five days, and he didn’t feel prepared, but Branch was confident his efforts wouldn’t be in vain. He had Kait by his side, after all. Nothing could go wrong when her hand was in his.
He hadn’t seen her since the evening he’d wrapped his arms around her in front of the partially decorated Christmas tree and softly advised her that he wanted a second chance. Everything else – the house, the vehicles, all the tangible things that surrounded him – were his if he wanted them, no questions asked. Kait Davenport’s heart wasn’t something so simply obtained, or kept.
But it was the only thing Branch wanted, needed, and was choosing not to live without.
Okay. It was only one word, tossed around in routine conversation like it meant nothing. But when Branch suggested he could stay here in Port Landon and make good on the promises he made all those years ago, Kait’s response consisted of only that word.
In that context, it meant everything.
Her schedule at the diner and Branch’s insistence that she didn’t have to help him with absolutely every aspect of cleaning and sorting and purging that went on within the walls of 14 Crescent Street meant he hadn’t laid eyes on her since then. But every time he caught sight of the artificial tree perched in the window, or the leftover cinnamon bear candies on the kitchen counter, or even the attic ladder that led to the spot where he had kissed her so tenderly a matter of days ago, Branch thought of her so clearly that he could have conjured her image up from thin air. She wasn’t there, but she was still with him.
With mere days left before the big event, Kait insisted on being with him when he tackled the daunting task of shopping for all the groceries needed to pull the event off. Branch wasn’t going to say no to any time with her, no matter how trivial that time might seem. If there was one thing he had learned in the last few years; no time spent together with the ones you loved was ever meaningless.
The Winter Berry House Page 15
