Taking it in stride, Gabe shrugged. “Drinks?” he asked me and Charlotte.
I was so busy “ignoring” Finn’s departure that it took me a moment to understand his question. “Uh, sure. Soda. I’m driving.”
Charlotte glanced between us. “Um...beer.”
Gabe frowned at her. “A beer?”
“Yes,” she said primly.
“Okay. Be back in a second.”
He moved out of the way and I was almost a little disappointed to see Patrick and his teammate that I hadn’t been introduced to had been diverted by Katherine Kelter and a pretty blonde I recognized from Eloise’s play.
Sighing, I turned away to look around the room, attempting to pretend I wasn’t wondering where Finn had taken Eloise.
“I’m sorry about Finn,” Charlotte said, her expression sympathetic.
Confused and alarmed, I was a little sharper in my response than I meant to be. “What do you mean?”
She winced. “Well, it’s obvious that he’s not thawing toward you. But I don’t think it’s personal if that helps.”
“It’s not?”
“No, I think...well... I think he’s keeping his distance deliberately to reassure Eloise.”
My heart was pounding. Did quiet, sheep-like Charlotte see more than I’d given her credit for? “I don’t understand.”
“You’re beautiful.”
“Thanks?”
Charlotte laughed. “Most girls would be threatened by you. I know Bryce is.” She smiled as if she found the notion of my upsetting Bryce amusing. “Finn’s just really loyal to Elle, and I think he’s just reassuring her that no matter how pretty you are he still thinks she’s the most beautiful girl at school.”
“But she is,” I said, wondering why I felt so glum about that.
“I don’t know. Guys seem to really like you.” She gestured behind her and I found Patrick staring over at me while Katherine chattered away to him.
“And Gabe is half in love with you.” Charlotte laughed again, but it sounded somehow hollow.
“Gabe? No, he’s just teasing. You know he flirts with every girl he meets.” I searched her face, wondering at the melancholy I saw in her eyes. Realization hit me. “Oh my God, Charlotte, do you like Gabe?”
“Shh.” She glanced around her frantically to make sure no one had heard me. “Of course not.”
Liar! “Oh, you so do.”
“India,” she whined at my teasing.
I laughed. “Look, I won’t tell anyone. But you should know that I do not like Gabe. Not like that. He’s just a friend. Always will be. And he’s only flirting with me for fun. If it were serious he’d have asked me out by now.”
“True,” she mused. “His parents probably wouldn’t let him date you.”
My face prickled hotly. “Oh?”
“A lot of the families here are from old money. They tend to want their sons to date a girl from a powerful and wealthy family. Both Gabe’s parents are from wealthy families. His grandfather is the guy who co-created the first computer software program or something and now Gabe’s dad is a CEO for a security company. As for his mom, she’s like the daughter of El Salvador’s biggest chocolate producer, and now she runs her own elite matchmaking business. They’re not like Finn or Eloise’s family. They can’t claim to be blue bloods. But they sure can claim wealth and power and they have no intention of going backward. You haven’t got the right status, and parents around here want their kids to date other kids from a similar background. Until Theo and Hayley have been married for a while, they won’t see you in that light, if ever.”
I masked my hurt with indifference. “I’m not interested in dating, anyway. But you should ask Gabe out.”
“I couldn’t.” She shook her head. “He doesn’t see me that way.”
“Then make him. You’re gorgeous. He’d be an idiot not to see that. Maybe he thinks there’s no way you’d be interested. If I remember correctly, you did shudder with horror when I suggested you two were a couple.”
She bit her lip. “I didn’t want him to know I have a crush on him. I’ve liked him since the beginning of sophomore year. I was dating Matt Schneider over that summer and then he was a total ass to me when we got back to school. He publicly dumped me and then got really mean. He made me cry, it was so embarrassing. Gabe was really there for me, though. He talked to me for a long time and basically said that if I stood up for myself nothing bad was going to happen. He promised me. And I believed him. He said I just had to be brave.”
She smiled dreamily and pressed a finger to her cheek. “And then he kissed me right here and hugged me. He told me I was too good for Matt.” Charlotte suddenly looked glum. “I stood up to Matt because of Gabe. In that moment he helped me find the courage to be brave. I’ve liked him ever since but he flirts with almost every girl but me. Bryce made this crack once about how I’d have to be the last girl on earth before Gabe would ever see me as anything but a ‘little sister’ type and that stuck with me, you know. So now I pretend that the thought of dating Gabe disgusts me. A defense mechanism.”
“Mixed signals. Not good. And Bryce could not be more wrong.”
“How do I fix it then? Do you think I should?”
“Yes. Gabe would be ridiculous not to want to date you. Start slowly. Be a little flirty with him. I’ve seen you flirt. You can do it.”
“Yeah? He won’t laugh?”
“Never. I promise.”
Charlotte heaved a sigh and then smiled at me. “I know Finn is being a jerk and Bryce is Bryce...but you should know I’m glad you’re here. I like having you as a friend. It looks like Eloise’s coming around, too.”
Although I knew Charlotte would stop talking to me in a heartbeat if Eloise asked her to, I also knew that despite her weaknesses, she was a sweet girl.
A few minutes later Gabe returned with our drinks.
“A beer,” he said, handing it to Charlotte. “Although I don’t think you’ll like it.”
Her eyes flew to mine and I gave her a pointed “go for it” look. She cleared her throat. “I like beer.”
“You do?” He took a swig of his own.
“Yeah.”
And two beers later Charlotte apparently found some Dutch courage. Gabe and I were in the middle of discussing a movie we’d all seen that week when Charlotte suddenly stepped into his personal space, silencing us.
She gave him a flirtatious smile. “You know, Gabe, there’s a lot about me you don’t know.”
His eyes grew round at her husky tone and I could tell he was trying to work out if she was messing with him. “Like what?”
She smirked mischievously and shrugged. “Stuff. I bet there’s stuff I don’t know about you.”
Gabe stared at her as if he didn’t know quite what to make of her. “Uh...”
Charlotte tapped his chest playfully. “A little flustered there?”
“Uh...”
“It’s just me, silly.” She rolled her eyes and then gripped his bicep as she sidestepped him. “Ooh, have you been working out?”
“Uh...”
“Very nice.” She made this humming noise in the back of her throat and then let go of him. “I’m getting another beer.”
“My biceps?” He turned to me, shocked, as Charlotte walked away. “What?”
I shrugged, grinning.
“Was she...?” His expression darkened. “Did she just...? Okay. She’s had too many beers.”
Laughing, I watched as he pushed through the partygoers, shouting Charlotte’s name.
As for me, I couldn’t wait to see how that played out over the coming weeks.
* * *
Having gotten used to being ignored by Finn, I was surprised on Monday in Modern European History when he leaned in
to speak to me.
I turned to stare at him, my heart rate picking up at his nearness. I felt like a freaking metal detector around him.
Beep, beep, beep, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!
Finn was brooding as usual. “You need to watch yourself.”
“Excuse me?”
“With Jasper,” he said impatiently. “Apparently you said something to piss him off at Paul’s party. You don’t piss Oliphant off, and you definitely don’t do it in front of all his friends. You especially don’t.”
“What does me ‘especially’ mean?”
“You know what it means. To him you’re a nobody, but a nobody he wants to use, and he’s an arrogant, entitled asshole so he thinks he has the right to. Whatever you said...” He shook his head in annoyance. “Are you trying to cause trouble for yourself?”
I looked down at my desk, feeling like a scolded child. “He was being a dick.”
“I don’t like the way he’s looking at you,” he muttered. “Just...watch your back.”
I peeked up at him and saw he was staring straight ahead again, disinterest on his face.
I gave a huff of bitter laughter. “I know how to watch my back, Finn. I’m the only one that ever has.”
He jerked like I’d hit him and his mask of disinterest slipped. Guilt replaced it. I felt that look right down to my soul.
“Okay, let’s talk the French and the British problem!” Franklin called out cheerily as he entered the room, and just like that the moment was broken.
CHAPTER 12
FINN WAS STILL avoiding me—and frustrating me because when he thought I wasn’t aware he stared at me. I didn’t know why, but I wished he’d stop watching me because it made it harder for me to forget the fact that he knew so much about me.
Thursday was much of the same but I had a lot to take my mind off it. I was still being kind of a bitch to Hayley and on top of all my schoolwork I had my work for the Chronicle. Eloise’s director was sick so rehearsal had been canceled after school. I’d told her to just go home with Gil and I’d get a cab because I intended to stay behind after the Chronicle went to print to work on school stuff.
Really, it was just an excuse to stay out of the house as long as possible so I didn’t have to interact with Hayley about the upcoming engagement party.
Finn stopped by the Chronicle for about two seconds to drop off his photos before leaving for crew practice, and Jasper thankfully treated me as if I didn’t exist.
Once everyone had left for the night I headed to Franklin’s classroom. He had to close up the media room because of all the expensive equipment in it, but he offered me his room and I took him up on it. He left me to get on with it, heading home, grumbling under his breath about papers he had to grade.
Half an hour later, I’d gotten through my Microeconomics homework and looked up at the clock to check the time. Something caught my attention in the doorway.
I startled at the sight of Jasper leaning against Franklin’s doorjamb.
Unease crept down my spine. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Awhile.” He shrugged off the door and sauntered casually inside.
My pulse sped up in warning like it knew something I didn’t. “What do you want?”
Jasper snorted, casualness disappearing from his expression to be replaced by anger. “What do I want? An apology for trying to embarrass me in front of my friends last Saturday.”
If I hadn’t been so concerned, I might have laughed. “I made a smart-ass comment that everyone but you has forgotten about.”
He raked his gaze over me as he took another few steps in my direction and instinct had me rising from my seat. “Maybe so. But I’m thinking you and I need to talk.”
I began to stuff my things into my bag as my pulse started to race for real. “If you’ve come here to intimidate me, it won’t work,” I lied.
“Let me rephrase, then,” he snapped. “I’m going to teach you a valuable lesson about how things fucking work here, India.”
“No, you’re going to turn around and walk out this door,” a familiar voice warned.
Jasper jerked around at the menacing tone and relief moved through me at the sight of Finn striding into the room. He deliberately brushed past Jasper, nudging him hard with his shoulder so he stumbled into a desk. Finn kept walking until he was by my side.
“You okay?” he asked, eyes raking over me in concern.
I nodded, silent.
“What was the plan?” Finn bristled as he glowered at Jasper. “Get her alone and then what?”
Jasper sneered at us. “Are you insinuating what I think you’re insinuating? Please,” he scoffed, “I’ve never needed to force myself on a girl in my life. Do you really think I’d need to force myself on a piece of trash like her?”
Finn lunged for him and I was just fast enough to grab his arm and haul him backward. “He’s not worth it. I don’t care what he thinks of me.”
Jasper laughed. “But Finn Rochester cares. I wonder how interested Eloise would be to find out her loyal lapdog wants to get in her freeloading ‘sister’s’ pants.”
“You piece of—”
“Finn, don’t.” I tightened my hand around his wrist to keep him still. “He’s slime who doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He’s also never going to come near me again. Right?”
“You’re already a bad memory.”
“We’re serious.” Finn stepped up to him, towering over him. “I’ll ruin you if I even so much as see you looking at her.”
“Jesus! Fine.” Jasper held up his hands as he backed off.
There was a tense moment when I thought Finn was going to change his mind and go after Jasper again. Finally Jasper made a move toward the door and I breathed a sigh of relief when Finn let him.
But he just couldn’t leave quietly. “Remember who you are, Rochester. Don’t go making enemies with the wrong people over a nice piece of ass.”
I saw Finn tense, but he didn’t make a move toward Jasper and the scum left us alone in awful silence. Finn turned back to me. As I gazed up into his face I knew I’d never been more thankful to see someone in my life. “How did you...?”
Finn ran a shaky hand through his hair. “Patrick got me after practice today to say he’d overheard Jasper making a bet with some friends that he’d nail you by the end of the night.”
My stomach twisted at the thought. “Do you think he would have...?”
“I don’t know.” His face turned red with anger again. “As far as I’m aware he never has before but I couldn’t take the chance.”
“I’m glad.” I drew in a shaky breath and realized I was trembling.
“I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you,” Finn said quietly, so quietly I wasn’t even sure I heard right.
We stared at one another awhile and as I fell into his dark eyes something began to build in me, swirling hot and thick in my chest. It scared me because it was a feeling I could never act on. I looked away, tears stinging my eyes. “Thank you.”
I felt his warm hand on my shoulder. “India...”
Despite myself, my eyes were drawn back to his.
He opened his mouth as if to say something and then he stopped as if thinking better of it. Instead he said, “I’m going to get you some water. You sit down for a second. I’ll be right back.”
My immediate reaction was to grab his hand and beg him not to leave me, afraid to be alone, but I quashed that instinct and nodded. I took Finn’s advice and sat down, not believing that one stupid smart-ass comment could cause such a horrible drama.
Finn came back with two cups of water from a nearby water machine.
“Here.” He placed the water on my desk and took his seat beside me.
We sipped in silence for a little
while.
And then I had to ask, “So...you were worried about me?”
Finn heaved a massive sigh. “Yes.”
“But you said you didn’t want to be friends.”
“I said I couldn’t.”
“There’s a difference?”
“Yes.” He searched my face. I didn’t know what he was looking for. “I wanted nothing more than to be there for you when you told me all that stuff about your dad. And even though I said I couldn’t be the person you were asking me to be, I went home that night and for the first time in a really long time I didn’t feel so alone.”
Emotion welled up in my throat, constricting it and anything I might have said.
“You’ve never told anyone what you told me, have you?”
I shook my head, pushing past the constriction. “Not even my best friend back in Cali.”
He looked pained. “India, if I could change the way I reacted I would.”
“This, today, went a long way to making up for that.”
“No, it didn’t. What you gave me...trusting me like that.” He sat back in his chair and rubbed his hands over his face. When he moved them, he was looking at me in that soulful, tortured way of his that made me want to wrap my arms around him. “I... I’ve known Eloise since we were kids.”
I froze, the blood rushing in my ears, as I suddenly wondered if he was about to admit what I refused to contemplate.
“I care about her a whole lot,” he continued, “but our situation isn’t like other kids our age. My dad...well, of course you’re right about him. He’s always been that way. Very controlling, with a major anger management problem.” His voice lowered, thick with pain as he confided, “He used to hit my mom. When I witnessed him hitting her, she told me it was a secret that I couldn’t tell anyone. She was a doctor. A pediatrician. A smart woman. Now I find myself wondering how someone like her could have stayed in that...taken it from him.” He shrugged but I could tell it tortured him still. “When she was diagnosed with cancer my father was nice for a while. And then she died and he got worse than he was before, except now I was the one he controlled and used as a punching bag. Unfortunately for him I grew up bigger and stronger than him. The physical stuff stopped, but unfortunately for me the control issues did not.
The Impossible Vastness of Us Page 14
