by Tamie Dearen
Josh gave clear instructions to Jace so he wouldn’t start too high up the hill, before making his own jump. Charlie couldn’t help the way her heart swelled in admiration as she watched him do a double-twister and land perfectly. She was fairly certain she’d gotten pretty clear shots of the jumps, despite the cloudy, snowy conditions.
Charlie moved farther up the hill to get a picture of Emily’s jump. She came at a much more cautious pace, and squealed as she flew into the air. Even at a slow speed, she made it half as far as the others before her skis touched the snow. She pumped her hands in the air in triumph as she landed perfectly and kept her balance.
Charlie moved a bit farther up in preparation for Jace’s jump, while all the others waited below. She tried to yell instructions at him, but he couldn’t hear her. She had to wave her arms broadly to signal the all-clear, due to the poor visibility. She hoped she would get a good picture of his first jump.
When Jace flew into the air, he got an amazing amount of loft because he was so light-weight. He landed almost as far down the hill as Emily, and wavered a bit, but just managed to keep his balance. Down below, everyone was shouting and jumping up and down in celebration of Jace’s successful first jump. He came to a stop just above the spot where the other jumpers had landed. When he turned around to beam proudly at Charlie, he lost his balance and fell over.
Charlie could hear him cackling with laughter as he struggled to move skis that were stuck above him. The heel of one ski was buried in the snow.
“Do you want help?” she called down to him.
“No,” he said, determinedly. “I can do it—I don’t need help.”
He got the ski loose and performed a rollover to get his skis below him. He sat up and got his skis perpendicular to the slope, but was still struggling to stand up by himself. From the corner of her eye, Charlie noticed someone on the slopes above her. It was a snowboarder. Descending. She could see him dimly through the heavily falling snow. He was barreling down the slope toward the jump. Instinctively, Charlie knew Jace was sitting exactly where he would land. The snowboard was on a direct path to hit Jace and there was no way Jace could move fast enough to get out of the way.
Without thinking exactly how she was going to save him, she started yelling and running toward Jace. She was above him and to his side. She ran as fast as she could in her bulky snowboard boots, knowing she couldn’t afford to fall, praying she would reach him in time. In time to grab him and tumble out of the way before the board impacted with his head or his neck or his spine.
She was close, but not close enough when she saw the snowboarder rise off the jump. She had dimly hoped the lip was flattened from Jace’s jump. But as he hurtled through the air toward Jace, she knew she only had one chance.
She leaped.
AT FIRST JOSH WAS CONFUSED when he saw Charlie running downward toward Jace, yelling at the top of her lungs, “Move! Move! Move!”
Had Jace injured himself? He’d looked perfectly fine when he toppled over after landing his jump. Josh and the others were standing well below Jace, staring up the snowy slope, trying to comprehend what had Charlie so upset.
Then Josh saw it. A man on a snowboard flew off the lip of the jump, plunging at a high rate of speed. Straight toward Jace.
Charlie was running toward him, but she couldn’t possibly get there in time. She was too far above Jace. Josh braced himself for the collision as he watched the scene unfold with helpless horror. Everything seemed to move in slow motion.
Suddenly, Charlie flew sideways, directly into the path of the snowboard.
The sound of the impact was sickening.
Chapter Thirteen
JOSH DIDN’T REMEMBER running up the hill. He found himself kneeling over Charlie, who was lying unmoving on her back where she had landed in the snow, just short of where Jace sat, still stunned.
“Charlie? Baby? Are you hurt?” She was staring up at him, her expression full of pain, breathing shallowly.
Brad was standing behind him. “Josh? What’s her status?”
Josh couldn’t think. He panicked. He was going to lose her. He was going to lose Charlie.
“Josh! What’s her status?” Brad grabbed Josh’s shoulders and shoved him out of the way. “Get a grip, man. Go around to her head.” Josh moved obediently to kneel at Charlie’s head. He was vaguely aware of the tears streaming from his eyes, causing her face to swim in his vision.
“Charlie? Where does it hurt?” Brad asked.
Her voice was so quiet Brad had to put his ear by her mouth to hear her. “Jace? Is Jace...”
“Jace is fine. He’s not hurt. Charlie, I need you to tell me where it hurts.”
“My... chest... hurts... so bad... can’t breath... arm hurts.”
Brad told Spencer, “In my backpack. Pocket knife. Bottom outside zipper pocket.”
“Charlie? Does your head hurt? Or your neck?”
“No,” she whimpered.
“Can someone call nine-one-one?”
“Done. Ski patrol is on the way.” Gherring was on his cell phone.
Brad took the proffered knife from Spencer and carefully cut away Charlie’s sleeve where it was shredded by the snowboard, opening her jacket to peel it back. Josh saw blood. Too much blood. She was losing too much blood. He felt nauseous like a first-year medical student.
“Josh!” Brad’s tone was harsh. “Snap out of it. Charlie needs you. Get the brachial artery, and stop the bleeding.”
Josh took a deep breath. Charlie needed him. He clamped his hand on the brachial artery, and she moaned. His head began to clear as he watched Brad press gently on her ribs, eliciting a whimper of pain.
“Charlie?” said Brad. “Can you take a deep breath for me?”
She gave a barely perceptible shake of her head in response, crying out as he pressed on her chest.
“Did you see that?” Josh exclaimed, as he felt the blood drain from his face. “Flail chest. Here on the left side.”
Brad nodded, pulled off his jacket and rolled it up to press against her side where the ribs were fractured. This time there was no response when he applied pressure to her fractured ribs.
“Charlie! Charlie!” said Brad. “Can you hear me?” When he looked at Josh, his face was grave. “She’s out. Watch her. Make sure she doesn’t stop breathing.”
“Right,” Josh nodded. “She may be bleeding internally.”
“Most likely,” said Brad. “But nothing we can do here.”
“Spinal injuries?” asked Josh.
“No way to know for sure,” said Brad. “We’ll have to brace her just in case.” He looked up from Charlie. “Did someone check on the snowboarder?”
“He says his leg hurts,” called Emily. “But he’s sitting up, so I guess his back is okay.”
Josh shot a furious glare at the young man, sitting in the snow near Jace, moaning in pain.
“Josh...” Brad spoke in a warning voice. “Stay focused here. You just worry about Charlie.”
“He killed her!” Josh couldn’t control his anger. He couldn’t control anything.
“She’s not dead,” Brad hissed. “You’re scaring everyone.”
“She needs an IV. We’ll never get her to a hospital in time.”
“Shut up, Josh!” Brad turned to Steven who was still on line with the nine-one-one operator. “Tell them we need an IV set up stat, normal saline. Anne, do you know her blood type?”
Anne was sobbing, her face buried in Steven’s jacket. She shook her head. “I’m s-so s-sorry. I d-don’t know.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s okay,” said Brad.
“Brad! I don’t see her breathing!”
“Check for a pulse,” Brad ordered as he lifted her chin to give her two breaths.
“I can’t feel a pulse! She’s lost too much blood—she’s not going to make it!” Josh could hear the roar of the snowmobile pulling the litter toward them.
“Shut up, Josh. She’s going to make it,” Brad said, movi
ng to do chest compressions.
“You’ll lacerate her organs.” Josh protested, but followed Brad’s lead, shifting to breathe into her mouth, while Brad gave chest compressions.
“They’re already lacerated,” said Brad. “We don’t have a choice. You know that.”
“I know. I know. Oh please, God. I know.” Josh replied, before breathing into her mouth again, tasting the salt of his tears on her skin.
“The hospital is close,” Brad said. “Really close. And they deal with trauma all the time.”
“It’s small.” Josh knew there was no way they could save her when she’d lost this much blood.
“It doesn’t matter what size it is. They’re good with trauma. And they’re good surgeons. Some of the best.”
“I’ll take care of her myself,” Josh muttered.
“You can’t. And even if you were on staff here, you’re in no emotional state to take care of her. You just forgot her breaths.”
Josh attempted to concentrate on Charlie’s CPR as the ski patrol worked on transporting her to the litter to carry her down the mountain.
“I’ve got to keep this CPR going on the way down,” said Brad. “I’ll have to ride with her.”
When the ski patrol started to protest, Brad said, “I’m a physician, and I’m telling you unless you want that young man over there charged with manslaughter, I have to ride with her.”
The men paled at his statement, but made no more protest. “And I want the emergency physician on the phone by the time we get to the base.”
Brad turned to Josh. “Get your stuff, buddy. You’ve got to ski down if you want to be in the ambulance.”
Josh was staring at the bloodstained snow where Charlie had been lying. “Josh!” yelled Brad. “We’re going!”
Josh suddenly realized Jace was still sitting in the snow, crying. Emily was holding him, trying to comfort him, even as she cried her own tears.
“Hurry, Josh. We’ll come as soon as we can. We’ll bring Jace. Just go!” Steven waved him away.
With one last look at the crimson blemish marring the slope, Josh hurried down the hill to retrieve his skis and race after Charlie, fearing in his heart she was truly gone forever.
“WHAT’S THE real prognosis,” Steven asked Brad, pulling him to the side as he emerged from the emergency room doors into the waiting room with an angry Josh in tow.
“She’s critical. I’ll be honest—we won’t know until she gets out of surgery. She’s lost a lot of blood, and we don’t know how much internal damage she has. The x-ray showed hemothorax. That’s when there’s blood in the chest cavity. So they put in a chest tube and drained a lot of blood. We can’t be certain where all the blood’s coming from. One lung is torn, for sure. But the way it looks, we suspect her descending aorta has a nick, although there may be other internal lacerations as well. So they’re keeping her blood pressure low to keep pressure off the aorta until it’s repaired.”
Brad rubbed his head, feeling an ache coming on. “But at least her heart’s beating again. It appears her arm has a deep laceration and her ribs were shattered, but hopefully no other bones. She’s got an entire section of ribs broken, so her breathing isn’t working right. It’s called flail chest. That part of her chest wall doesn’t expand and contract when she breathes. In fact, it moves in the opposite direction. But they’re going to fix that during surgery.”
“What about him?” Steven indicated Josh with his eyes. He was pacing like a caged animal in front of the locked doors blocking him from Charlie.
“He’s ticked because they threw him out. I know he’s worried out of his mind, but he’s making everyone crazy. He’s not on staff here, but he’s trying to tell everyone what to do, like he would back in New York. To be honest, they probably would’ve let me stay in there, but I came out because they needed to get rid of Josh.”
Steven gripped his arm. “Thank you. Thanks you for saving her.”
“I hope that’s what we’ve done. Right now, it’s still touch and go.” He sighed, spying his wife and her sisters, sitting with Anne, Emily, Derek, and Spencer. “I guess I need to go give Grace a hug. I’m not really prepared to answer questions yet.”
“What should I tell Anne?”
“I think we should dwell on the positive. Her heart was beating on its own. That’s the only thing we know for sure.”
Grace stood as Brad approached and fell into his arms, her tears wetting his shirt. He hugged her tightly, whispering comforting words.
“Is she gonna make it?” Grace croaked out.
Brad avoided eye contact, “We’re very hopeful.”
“Brad!” Grace whispered in alarm. “That’s all you can say?”
“Please don’t ask me right now, okay?”
Grace buried her face in his chest, sobbing.
“Grace... Baby,” he whispered in her ear. “You’re going to scare Anne and Emily. You need to buck up and smile like I gave you really good news. Okay?” She nodded, trying to force a smile onto her teary face.
Emily approached them with tear-tracks staining her face. “Josh looks really upset. Does that mean it’s bad?”
“No, Josh is upset because he’s used to being able to control everything. This time, it’s out of his hands, and he’s going crazy. I’m tempted to make him take a sedative.” He watched as Josh patrolled the doorway with haunted eyes.
STEVEN DID HIS BEST to reassure Anne with the slim bit of optimistic news Brad imparted, deliberately ignoring the negative aspects. With that task out of the way, he steeled himself to confront Josh. He found his target pacing in front of the emergency room doors.
“Come on, Josh. Let’s take a walk.”
“I can’t. They might come out while I’m gone.”
Steven pulled him toward the outside door. “They just went into surgery—it will take a while. You and I need to have a talk.”
Josh moved like a zombie, unaware of his surroundings. Steven handed him his coat, and he slipped it on and zipped it up against the chilly wind.
“What’s going on in your head?” Steven watched him squeeze his eyes tight as if he couldn’t stand to think.
“She may never wake up.” The words tore from his mouth with a torrent of anguish. “I’ll never get to talk to her. I won’t get to tell her... anything.”
Steven put a hand on his shoulder. “She will wake up.”
“You don’t know that.” His voice cracked. “We don’t even know what’s going on in surgery.”
“When you don’t have control, you’ve got to have faith. That’s your job right now. That’s what you can do for Charlie. You have to believe she’ll be okay. You have to pray. You can’t fix this yourself.” Steven could tell his words had hit their mark when Josh’s shoulders slumped.
“You’re right—I feel so helpless. I did an emergency medicine residency because I wanted the ability to fix people... to save lives. I still remember the first person who died in my care. I’d done everything I knew to do, but I couldn’t save him. I was so angry. And frustrated. But eventually I learned to accept I wasn’t God, that I couldn’t fix everything.”
Josh paused, before boring into Steven with angst-ridden eyes. “But it’s different with Charlie.”
“Because you love her?”
He nodded, dropping his gaze.
“Look Josh, I believe she’ll make it—I really do. But you’ve got another problem right now. You’ve got a scared little nephew in there who needs you. And he thinks this is his fault.”
“It’s not Jace’s fault. Why would he think that?”
“All he knows is Charlie did this to save him, and you haven’t spoken to him since it happened.”
“But I don’t blame him for this. I blame that idiot snowboarder who took a blind jump without bothering to check the landing below. It was totally irresponsible.”
“Look, I know you’ve got a lot to deal with right now, but you’ve got to talk to Jace. He’s really suffering and afraid. And if t
he worst happens and Charlie doesn’t make it, he’s going to have an even bigger load of guilt. You’ve got to help him.”
“But what if I screw this up? I don’t know what to say? I’ve only been a father for less than two weeks. And I’m really afraid she won’t live. He’s gonna know. I can’t hide it.”
“Do you love Jace?”
“Of course I do. I may not have known him for a long time, but I love him.” Josh sounded almost offended at the question.
“Then I think it’s time you said that to Jace,” said Steven. “Kids need to see it and hear it.”
“Okay... okay, I’ll tell him.”
As he turned to go inside, Steven caught his arm, “And Josh, the same goes for women. They have to see it and hear it. I don’t know what you’re planning to do about Charlie and Olivia, but—”
“I know what I’m going to do.” His voice didn’t waver as he spoke. “I’m not marrying Olivia—even if it means I lose Chloe. And if Charlie wakes up, I’m hoping she’ll marry me. But if she turns me down, I’ll wait and try to make her change her mind. And I’ll keep trying until she marries me... or someone else.”
Steven smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. “That’s the Josh I know. I’m really proud of you. She may take some convincing, especially since you swore you were in love with Olivia. But I think she’ll come around eventually. And this way, you won’t have to talk her into marrying you by January.”
JOSH FOUND JACE SITTING in the corner of the waiting room next to Emily and Spencer. “Mind if I talk to you for a second?”
At Jace’s nod, he slipped into the seat beside him. “Would it be okay if you sat in my lap? I’m kind of scared, and I could use a hug.”
Jace almost flew into his lap, throwing his arms around Josh and sobbing against his chest. Josh couldn’t hold back another round of tears. When he felt the shaking in Jace’s body subsiding, he said, “I need to tell you something. Okay?”
