It was a slightly cooler day today. The spring wind lifted tendrils of her hair and tickled her neck with them. She looked down to check her dress and shawl were set straight. She felt self-conscious but exhilarated to be in town on her own. It was the first time she had been out by herself. It was a good feeling. It was independence.
Ellie ascended the steps into the general store and examined the list that Grammy had given her. Twists of silken thread - white, brown and black; five medium needles; three feet of dark blue calico; one piece of chalk for marking. Ellie made her purchases and laid them in her basket.
As she left the store she looked around and her eye rested on the local saloon. It was constructed from warm redwood with a large rectangular false front. A pair of cream sun-bleached deer antlers were set over the entrance.
It was a decent enough place, compared to the saloons in most towns. Jared had told her that it served as a meeting place for folks from miles around. People could stay over for a night or longer if they wanted to. They were plain rooms with just a narrow bed, jug and bowl, but they were clean.
The saloon served plain honest meals as well as beer and liquor. Of course, it could be rough at times like any saloon. Maybe boisterous was a better word. Most of the men in there only wanted a jest.
In the daytime, it was acceptable for a lady to visit the place for a light meal. It wasn’t the kind of thing she usually did, but Ellie felt excited and free today. She wanted to do something different. So she decided to have a small refreshment at the saloon before making the journey back home.
As she entered, she heard her name being called out.
“Ellie!” A short, jolly looking man with polished red cheeks and a rotund figure fitted into a striped shirt and waistcoat gave her a welcoming smile from behind the wooden bar. He evidently knew who she was.
Ellie stopped at the entrance and regarded him timidly. “Hello?”
“Come on in, Ellie, you are welcome! You are the new housekeeper up at Jared’s house are you not? The boys who come in here have been talking about you. Seems you were quite a hit at the spring dance yesterday.” He winked at her over his spectacles in a comfortable, fatherly kind of way.
“Oh! Excuse me, I mean, pleased to meet you.” Ellie lost her poise a little, surprised to be known by a stranger. Still, it was nice to meet a new face, and such a friendly face too. Even if he was a little over-familiar.
Ellie flushed at the comments people had made about her. She hadn’t realized that anyone had noticed her at the dance.
“I’m William Brownstone, just call me Bill, everyone else does. I’m lucky if they don’t call me worse.” Bill offered his hand to Ellie.
Ellie laughed and shook his hand. “I’ll call you Bill then.”
“Don’t worry about what I said, everyone thinks you seem like a good girl. Nice girl like you, won’t you be getting married soon? You’ve got lots of boys to choose from, you know. A great many men around here are in need of a wife. They’re desperate for one! Fine girls like you are in short supply, you’re going to have to fend them off with a bat.”
Ellie looked down, not knowing what to say.
“Oh, don’t mind me,” Bill chuckled, “I’m just a busybody, always sticking my nose into everyone else’s business. Now, what would you like? There’s a private section over there to sit in if you like. It’s for ladies only. A bit more private in case no-good cowboys come in.”
Bill motioned to a cubicle-like structure to the side. It was made of wooden walls with a narrow gap to enter.
“I would like a tea please Bill, and maybe a bun if you have one?”
“Sure enough, coming up right away young Ellie. So you are liking your job then, at the Ford house? Treating you well are they? How long are you staying?”
“Yes, I am very happy. I do not know how long I will be staying, but I hope it shall be a long time.”
“Good, good, glad to hear it! Now make sure you come back to check up on your Bill every time you come to town, you hear? You promise?”
“That I will, Bill,” Ellie had only just met him but she already liked his comfortable familiar charm.
Ellie went to sit down in the cubicle. It was a pleasant place to relax in comfort away from prying eyes.
Bill must be a good businessman. He has a meeting house, a guest house, a restaurant and a drinking house all in one. And he has thought of how to get lady customers in during the daytime.
Ellie had a small view out onto the dusty main street. She could see the people outside without being seen by them as they passed by.
Bill brought her steaming hot tea in an elegant white teapot, with cream in a small jug and an extra pot of hot water. On a matching spotless white plate was a shiny-domed caramel-brown bun with black currants dotted within, and there was a little dish with a small piece of fruitcake.
Bill beamed at her. “Your tea, Miss Ellie, and your bun. And a taste of the fruitcake my old Ma made. I’m terrible at cooking so sometimes she rustles something up to serve the customers. I like to have new offerings for them when I can.”
“Thank you Bill, and thank you for the cake. It looks delicious. May I pay you now?”
“You sure can. And tell me what you think of Ma’s fruitcake later.”
Ellie paid using the coins from the small collection she kept with her for emergencies. She reclined against the wooden enclosure and unwound, slowly enjoying her tea, bun and cake.
She watched as an elderly man in an overcoat tentatively picked his way along the street, balancing a brown paper bag of provisions at each elbow.
She wondered how Briggs was doing. It wouldn’t be wise to contact Briggs in case Ursula or Gergmins somehow found out her whereabouts, but Ellie knew that one day she would seek him out.
From around the corner, Michael burst into view with two men walking alongside him. They appeared to be in high spirits, talking loudly and interrupting each other. They walked directly past Ellie and turned into the saloon.
Should I make myself known, say hello?
Ellie decided against it. The men looked like they were having a fine time together. They were ready to drink and let loose. It wasn’t appropriate for her to intrude on their group, and in any case, she had not met the other men with Michael before. She would finish up her tea and slip out as soon as she could.
Chapter 35
It was difficult to ignore the sound of Michael and his friends. They clattered into the saloon, the heels of their boots knocking against the hard wooden floor. They greeted Bill and it sounded as if they were standing at the bar together. They talked in excited raucous voices, ordering double whiskeys all round.
Ellie paid attention to finishing her tea, not wanting to hear a conversation not intended for her ears. She tried to think of other things, but it was difficult because Michael was talking so loudly.
Michael piped up above the others. His voice was shrill and somewhat slurred, as if he had already been drinking before they arrived. He sounded like he was in the mood to entertain and be the center of attention.
“Boys, boys, I have news! Wait until you hear this, I had neglected to tell you this!”
Michael liked to string out his announcements until he had his audience hanging on his every word.
“Now get this. You know Jared Ford of course, master of the ranch I work at? Well, get this, he is to be married!”
Ellie gave a start. She heard incredulous remarks and a general interest was expressed. Michael spoke over them, continuing his announcement.
“I’ll tell you how it happened. There is this very, very fine, elegant blonde lady, hoooo you wouldn’t believe it how heavenly she is. I took her back to her hotel from the dance and she was forthcoming with the information. Wealthy woman from a rich family she is, Anne’s her name. Now Jared’s cousin Harriet is her friend, and Harriet introduced this goddess to Jared. Of course, Jared fell madly in love with her in an instant. I was taking Harriet to the hotel too you see, and she told
me exactly that. And now, would you believe it, Anne and Jared are to be married. In fact, this blonde knockout is coming to town this very afternoon. To be married to Jared!”
Ellie froze with her fingers on the last fragment of her bun. Everything around her had slowed to a standstill as if time had stood still. She couldn’t move her eyes from the spout of the tea pot where a drop of tea hung. Nothing moved except the drop which proceeded to form itself into a heavy tear and plop onto the table.
Michael continued his commentary. “Mighty quick for a marriage. Jared’s a sensible man though, takes his chance when he sees it I reckon. He made a decision and now he’s chasing it for all he’s worth. He told me this morning as he passed through town that he was traveling up to Northcote for business and planning to buy a ring there. I’ve never seen Jared so flighty, like a schoolboy in love he was.”
“And I’ll tell you something even stranger. About a month ago, before he went to get his housekeeper from the train station, I was round at his place for his birthday supper. His Gran had been egging him on to get married and he was dreaming up his perfect wife, describing what she’d be like in every aspect. And wouldn’t you believe, in every detail, in every tiny detail, the woman he imagined was the exact same one he’s ended up with! It’s perfection!”
The four walls of the cubicle were closing in on Ellie, coming closer with every second. She wanted to leave but she was afraid the men would see her and call out to her. She pushed her plate away, feeling sick, and put her fingers to her temples. Her head throbbed as the blood rushed upwards. Her whole body tingled with sharp pins and needles.
Laughter and crude remarks came from the bar, and the three men interrupted each other as they each tried to make their point. Michael raised his voice to drown out his companions.
“That’s right, I’m telling you! He described her piece by piece before he had even met her. His ideal bride. She was to be tall, strong, buxom, darling pink cheeks, a flaxen braid wound around her head. In every way, that’s what this woman turned out to be. As if she were made by God, expressly for him.”
Ellie could not bear to hear any more. She had to get out. Now. She bolted up to standing, almost knocking over her tea cup. She stood shaking as the colors around her turned to shades of darkness. She turned and mechanically picked up her basket and shawl. As the trio laughed uproariously at the bar, she made it out of the saloon unseen.
Her only thought was to get away as fast as she could. She rushed out, turned a corner, and leaned her arm against the side of the building. She felt dizzy, her shoulders heaving as her head hung down.
He’s to be married. To her. And she’s his ideal woman.
Ellie’s head reeled as she took in the news. She finally realized what she had been trying to deny all along. She truly loved him. Faced with his marrying someone else, she could not run away from the fact any more.
She could not stay to watch him make a happy family with Anne. Even if they wanted her to stay on as a housekeeper, she could not do it.
She could not do it because it would surely kill her.
Against all her struggles, she had let herself fall in love. She had fallen in love and because of that she was going to lose her dream of a job and home.
I’m going to lose everything because I love him.
Ellie managed to get herself to the buggy. She got the horses hitched, watching her hands as they automatically moved through the motions. She got up and sat on the buggy seat with the reins in her lap, staring off into the distance.
Why am I so selfish? How can this be true love, if I am upset for myself because I cannot have him?
Her eyes filled with tears, and she started sobbing, the tears pouring out as the impossibility of her situation hit her.
Yes, I do want him for myself, that is how I feel with all my heart. If that is wrong, then I am wrong, but that is how I feel.
Ellie knew that she wanted him and she knew she could never have him.
She took a deep breath and made a decision, feeling a resolve solidify in her heart. She had to leave right away. Otherwise, she would falter. She gathered up the reins and started to drive the buggy.
If she did not leave today she would have to meet with him later on. He would likely be full of smiles and kindness with Grammy beside him, and they would ask her to be their housekeeper long term. She could not bear it.
Ellie’s tears dried and left cold paths on her cheeks as she made the journey back to the house.
Ellie reasoned it would make things easier for Jared if she were to leave of her own accord. He was bound to feel responsible for her and would feel he should keep her in a job because Grammy had replied to her advert. But Anne would not want Ellie around, and that would cause problems for Jared.
Ellie’s tears started running anew as she thought of Grammy. It was a terrible wrench to have to leave her. But Ellie had no choice. If she stayed on, things would get increasingly unbearable as Anne had Jared’s children and they relied on Ellie to help. Ellie knew her heart could not bear the pain if she stayed. Grammy would be well looked after by Anne. Grammy would be all right.
When Ellie got back to the house no one was around. She crept up the stairs and quietly collected her things from her attic room. She didn’t have much. She changed back into her original plain blue work dress and packed the rest of her belongings. She hesitated over the parchment note Jared had left her, wavering before she slotted it between the pages of her Bible.
Every fiber of Ellie’s heart screamed at her to stay, pining to see Jared’s face again just one more time, refusing to accept that the last time had already been and gone. But she had to go or her pain would only increase as she got in the way of Jared’s new wife. She had to leave now before she lost her nerve.
She found some paper, picked up a quill and paused, the quill hovering over the ink. She had to write a note to leave on the table with the sewing things she had bought for Grammy. It was difficult for Ellie because she wanted to give a plausible and truthful explanation but she could not disclose the whole truth.
“My dear Grammy and Jared,
I had news in town today, and find I must leave for Boston this afternoon. I thank you for allowing me to be at your home for the past month. I was the happiest I have ever been. I apologize for my sudden departure, but I hope you will understand there are things that must be done quickly. I think of you both with love,
Ellie”
Ellie hesitated over writing the word “love”. The fact that she loved Jared was the real reason she was leaving, though he would never know it.
She had to go through with it now. Drive back to town with the buggy. Pay someone there to bring the buggy and horses back again. She had just enough in her salary savings to cover the cost of that and a ticket out. Then it would be just her and her little trunk, back on the train.
She would go back to Boston first and somehow try to see Briggs again. It would be risky and difficult, but she did not see what else she could do. From Boston she would search for new employment. God knows where she would end up.
With a heavy heart and tears stinging her eyes again, Ellie left the note on the table. She picked up her trunk of possessions and left the house. Then she climbed back into the buggy, flicked the reins and left the home she had loved.
Chapter 36
Jared rode back home early that afternoon, filled with excitement and trepidation. He had been up to Northcote for business. Busy all day. He hadn’t had much sleep either, but his body was zinging with energy.
He looked forward with every inch of his being to seeing Ellie again. Just to see her smile. Even though it had been not much more than twelve hours since he had been gazing at her sleeping face.
He had spoken to Grammy early that morning and told her of his decision. How he had thought through Harriet’s proposal and what Harriet had said about his Ma’s wishes. His impressions of Anne and the fact that he did not feel they suited each other. And finally, what had ha
ppened last night. How he had taken Ellie home and realized how he really felt about her.
“Grams! I’m home,” he called cheerily as he powered through the front door, spinning his hat off to the side.
“We are here my dear, we have some unexpected visitors.” Grammy didn’t sound like her usual self. Her voice sounded measured and strained as if she were biding her time.
As Jared rounded through the door he saw none other than Harriet and Anne. They were sitting at the front room table with Grammy, the three of them holding themselves stiffly as if they had been waiting for him. They had tea things in front of them but no cakes. Jared felt his mood deflate just at the sight of Harriet and Anne.
Not another social visit. I am getting tired of the sight of their faces.
Jared made a decision. He wanted to see Ellie right away and talk to her. This was business time for him. He had a lot to do on the ranch and he had a contract to renew with his housekeeper. It was the middle of his working day. He was darned if he was going to sit around and discuss the weather with these two vapid women.
“Good afternoon, Harriet and Anne.”
Before Jared could continue, Grammy piped up. She looked as if she were bursting to set something straight.
“Jared, my dear. Harriet and Anne said they have come here today to discuss the details of your forthcoming marriage to Anne.” Grammy shut her mouth and regarded Jared steadily and coolly.
“My wha-! You seriously think -” Jared managed to button his mouth before anything too insulting came out of it.
As Anne simpered, Harriet strove to correct Grammy. “Well, not quite exactly that, I just wished to know your plans, what date might be suitable for you, dear Jared, and so forth -”
Jared looked at the two dressed-up ladies sitting at his front room table. He gave a bewildered shrug of his shoulders.
“I don’t know what you are talking about, Harriet. I really don’t have time for this.”
Mail Order Love (Sweet Mail Order Bride Historical Romance Novel) (Oregon Mail Order Brides) Page 13
