by Avery Rae
"Okay."
"Great. Here we go." She set me down on my own two feet.
"You might feel a little weird. Maybe kind of affectionate toward me." She held up her hands in a soothing gesture. "But it'll wear off, I promise."
"This whole situation has been weird," I grumbled back. I was slowly regaining some semblance of control over my mind. Not much, but enough to fully understand how strange this whole series of events had been.
She snorted. "Fair enough. Come on, let's get inside."
When Priscilla took a step toward the porch, the air around us suddenly shuddered. There was a blur of white as a form slammed down to the ground in front of us. Feathers. They were white feathers. Nathaniel. He unfurled his wings as he rose up from the ground, his yellow eyes emanating fury.
"Back it up, my man." Priscilla took hold of my arm and pulled me in close again. "I'm not letting you have her."
"I don't plan on letting you have her either."
"Do you want to go with him, Hazel?" Priscilla asked with a hard look in his direction. "Tell him how you really feel."
Nathaniel lied to me. I was mad at him. I didn't know Priscilla. But she knew Edwin. As my mind worked in ever more complicated circles, I opened my mouth, shut it, then opened it again. "Um . . ."
"I'm not a fool, succubus," Nathaniel said. "I know what you can do, and I know that you've used your powers on her."
Succubus? That would explain why I wanted to be with her so badly. Yet, even knowing that truth, I didn't want her to let me go.
"Half-succubus, if you could be so kind." Priscilla sniffed. "My demon lineage is a touchy issue for me, so if you wouldn't mind—"
"I honestly don't care," Nathaniel growled from between his teeth. "Give her to me."
"Why? So you and your girlfriend can kill her?" Priscilla asked with a snort. "Nah, I don't think so. I'm going to have to say no to that."
"Girlfriend?" I asked in a wavering voice as I looked at Nathaniel. It wasn't like I had ever really planned on being with him, but he'd made it seem like he wanted more from me.
"Yeah," Priscilla replied, "that girl who came to your table all ready to spit nails over you talking to me."
"Abby?" I whispered, horrified.
Nathaniel's expression crumpled. "It's not what you think, Hazel. She kissed me. Just the once. I don't know why. Your demon friend here must've seen. I was only trying—"
"Trying to what?" I snapped. "Give her mouth to mouth? I can't believe you tried so hard to get me away from Edwin and yet—Ugh."
"No, I don't have any feelings for her. You have to believe me," he pleaded. "I care about you, Hazel. I really, truly do."
"Everyone keeps on telling me how much they care. But nobody cares enough to be honest with me." I looked up at Priscilla. "Please, just let me go. I don't need to be saved from anything. And Edwin will be fine without me."
"You have to come with me," she said. "I know Edwin already told you that your death could bring the end of the world as we know it, and I can't let that happen. I'm sorry."
Nathaniel's fury melted away. "Wait, you don't want to use her for that?"
"No way." Priscilla scoffed. "I'm trying to save her from you because you want to sacrifice her to help out that rude café girl."
"No." Nathaniel dragged out the word, his voice thick with confusion. "I'm trying to save her from you because you want to create Hell on Earth."
"Then why were you hanging out with her Druid friend?"
"I was trying to figure out what your plan with them was." He tilted his head to the side. "You were planning something with them, right?"
"Someone was. But we dealt with them. We're just trying to protect her now."
He folded his arms across his chest. "But I was told you were still going forward with the plan."
"And that's why you had to kiss that chick?" Priscilla asked with a lilt in her voice. She was just toying with him now.
Nathaniel made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. "She kissed me. It came out of nowhere."
It was my turn to sound frustrated. "Would you two stop talking about all this like I'm not here?"
I forced myself out of Priscilla's grasp, even though it was almost painful to part with her. I didn't even have to try hard, though. Priscilla wasn't focused on me anymore. Her eyes widened, and she started mouthing something, making a slashing motion at her neck.
A second later, she shouted, "Shit, Gael, no!"
Nathaniel let out a roar of pain and collapsed to his knees. Behind him stood a tall, tan-skinned man with dark hair. He held up his hands. "You gotta warn me faster than that, Prissy. I probably ruptured his damn kidney."
"Sorry, I didn't realize he was on our side until just then." Priscilla scanned the area around us, making sure nobody had witnessed our whole little fiasco, then carefully helped Nathaniel up. "You'll be okay, right?"
Once he was on his feet, he jerked away from her. "I'd rather not have a succubus touch me."
Priscilla's eyes narrowed to slits. "I'm going to rupture the other kidney if you don't drop your attitude."
"Your kind can't resist," he said with a grimace. "You just used your powers on Hazel, didn't you?"
"She did, I think," I replied.
"It was an emergency. She was going to die."
"No, she wasn't. They're not doing the ceremony until tomorrow."
"Ah, well, she wouldn't have been convinced otherwise." She nodded to herself. "I stand by my choice."
"Could we go inside so the neighbors don't call the police on us?" the man named Gael said as he walked up the front stairs to the porch.
I followed behind them all and asked, "Does anyone want to explain to me what's going on?"
"We'll . . . try our best," Priscilla replied. "Just come inside."
"I would say no, but you would probably just . . . seduce me again."
"Absolutely."
"My point," Nathaniel said.
When we stepped inside the townhouse, three demons jumped away from the window closest to the door and feigned disinterest.
Priscilla laughed. "You guys couldn't come out and help?"
"It was just one angel," said a smirking woman with wild, bleach-blonde hair. "Figured you two had it."
A large, muscle-bound man held up his hands. "I tried to come help, but Amberlynn and Cheri wanted to see if Gael got knocked on his ass first."
"Thanks, Lucas," Gael said with a bland look.
"Hey, you know those two are freakishly strong. And violent."
"Amberlynn is the violent one, thank you," corrected the third demon, who looked prim in her pencil skirt and tight, low bun.
"That's me," the blonde said with a grin at me.
I nodded. Slowly. "I would say it's nice to meet you, but it's kind of not, considering."
"Yeah, we owe you an explanation, don't we?" Priscilla said with a bob of her head. She held a hand toward the open door that led to the living room. I couldn't think of anything I wanted to do less than sit around a coffee table and chat with a bunch of demons.
Yet I went. Because I was outmatched. I had a feeling if I tried to pull the possession trick on them, I would either get knocked out or succubus-seduced into compliance. Neither of which I wanted.
Nathaniel sat with me on the loveseat. The others divided themselves up between a longer couch and an armchair. They looked so strange all crammed together with their muscular forms and glowing eyes.
"So," I began, "you said Edwin was in danger?"
Priscilla's expression turned grim. "He's in Hell with Samael right now. Has been since last night. Samael sent us up here to get you and keep you safe while he figures out what to do with Edwin."
I laughed, half out of nervousness and half out of confusion. "What do you mean? Is he going to get a demon timeout or something?"
Priscilla exchanged a short, silent look with Gael, then looked back at me. "Yeah, um . . . no. Demons can still die. As in, their souls are damned to b
urn for eternity. It's a whole thing. Super scary. Not where you want to end up."
"Wh-what did he do that would be worth that sort of punishment?"
I fidgeted in my seat as they exchanged another look. Nathaniel put a steadying hand on my knee. I gave him a weak smile that died the moment Priscilla spoke her next words. "He's in trouble because he hid you from us."
"Me?! Why do a bunch of demons care about—Oh. The souls, right?" Edwin seemed to think that was a bad thing, so obviously they all did, too.
Priscilla nodded.
"Is that really such a big deal?" I asked. "I mean, they just bring a little bit of extra chaos into the world."
"You guys dredge up a lot of terrible people when you're doing that," Gael replied, an edge in his voice. "If we don't get there in time, murders happen—among other things."
I had wondered about that. It didn't feel great to have it confirmed. But if that was necessary for the balance, then so be it, right? My stomach turned. I didn't believe that. I should, but I didn't. Why wasn't it easy to convince myself of that anymore?
Priscilla leaned forward, her expression heartbreakingly genuine in its concern. "My first experience with one of the souls you summoned was them possessing an elderly woman and trying to stick her head in an oven."
With a jolt, I thought back to the soul that had possessed me that day, sliding around inside my skin as it entertained gruesome thoughts. I knew they weren't lying. But according to my teachings, I was supposed to consider that a good thing. Honorable. Sowing chaos kept the balance. Didn't it?
"What are you going to do with me?" I asked.
Amberlynn waved a hand around in the air. "We ain't gonna do nothing but protect you, so don't get all scared."
"Specifically," Priscilla added, "we're going to hunker down here for tonight. Wait for Samael to show up and tell us what we're going to do. We'd really appreciate it if you didn't try to escape. We've had a long couple of weeks."
I gave them all a weak half-smile. "You don't seem to be an immediate threat, so I'll resist the urge for now."
In truth, I only wanted to stay because I needed to know that Edwin was okay. Otherwise, I would've reached out to the souls I could feel milling around to control them long enough to get away. I didn't know if I could handle that many at once, but I would try if I felt threatened. I still doubted I would be able to pull it off though.
The evening wore on, filled with stilted conversation and dodging topics that made things too weird—like me being there under duress and whatnot. Amberlynn and Cheri were the first to go upstairs, followed by Lucas, then Priscilla and Gael. It was just me and Nathaniel left in the living room of this strange townhouse.
I counted my lucky stars, thankful that at least I had him here. It wasn't like I had known him forever. We'd only been hanging out for a little under a month. He also, y'know, lied to me during that whole time, but he was still a familiar face. And he was an angel, which was basically proof he was a good guy.
I shifted to the side, facing Nathaniel, and pulled my knees up to my chest. "Edwin told me that you knew I was a Druid."
"I did," he replied, smiling softly.
"Did you come down here to protect me, like a guardian angel or something?"
"Yes, that's right."
"Whose bad side did you get on to receive Hazel-duty?" I asked with a short laugh.
His smile faltered, but only for the briefest moment. "I volunteered."
I wasn't quite sure how to take that. I looked down at my knees, searching for something to say. I didn't have to, though, because in the next moment, the front door opened and shut. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of the familiar form standing in the hallway.
"Edwin?"
The moment he turned and looked at me, I forgot I was supposed to be mad at him. I didn't forget, no . . . I just didn't care. I was so happy that he was okay. The moment he opened his arms wide, I gravitated toward him and fell into his embrace. His spicy scent surrounded me as I wound my arms around his back and sank against his hard chest.
"You're okay," I breathed, hugging him a little tighter.
"I'm not dead, but I'm definitely on my boss' shit list right now. That's for sure."
"What does he want us to do with her?" Nathaniel asked. "It's not like we can keep her here forever."
"We?" Edwin asked, his voice roughened by exhaustion. He shook his head. "My leader wants us to bring her to Hell."
"When?" Nathaniel asked sharply.
"Yeah, when?" I echoed with a scowl. "Do I get any say in this? Or will you just have Priscilla seduce me into complying again?"
"Priscilla did what . . . ? You know, never mind." Edwin ran a hand over his face. "Babe, we need to talk. I brought a book you might be interested in reading." He shot a look at Nathaniel. "We'll be upstairs. You can go or . . . there's another room upstairs if you want to sleep. Your choice."
Nathaniel chose to stay. He followed us upstairs, where we headed to separate rooms, his next to ours. I gave him one last look before I went inside Edwin's and said, "Thank you. For coming after me. I appreciate what you were trying to do."
"Don't thank me." He gave me a wavering smile. "Goodnight, Hazel."
"Goodnight."
Once I was inside Edwin's room and the door was shut, I fully expected him to be furious with me. Instead, he dropped the book he had brought with him on the bed and pulled me into his arms. I froze at first, unsure of how I should feel, but then I realized I just wanted to be with him right now. That was it.
I was so tired of everything. I wanted to rewind time and go back to when I had him once or twice a month. Things had been so simple and wonderful, and I was a fool not to appreciate it.
When I wound my arms around him and pressed my cheek against his chest, he pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
"I don't want you to die," he said, voice quiet. "I don't give a shit about the Earth or anything else, I just don't want to lose you."
I looked up at him with wide eyes. I'd never heard him talk like that before. "Edwin . . ."
He pulled away but still held on to me. His expression was dead serious as he stared down at me. "You need to know the truth, so I'm going to show you."
Edwin led me over to the bed, and I sat down with him as he opened up the book. I began to read, slowly at first, then I yanked the book into my lap and pored over the pages, my expression shifting from confusion to horror.
"This can't be true," I said when I was finally able to tear my focus away.
"I know it's hard, but it makes so much more sense than whatever it is you guys are doing, doesn't it?"
"I . . ."
Yes. The answer was yes. All my doubts throughout the years slammed to the forefront of my mind. I couldn't deny them anymore. Not after what I had just read. We were supposed to be custodians of the Earth. Of the souls that wandered it. And all we did was summon souls, apparently from Hell, and use them to sow chaos. We ruined everything.
I closed the book and shoved it aside in disgust. At myself, not the book. "I'm a terrible person."
Edwin wrapped his arms around my middle and pulled me back against him. "None of us are perfect, Hazel."
"But I've just—I've literally devoted my entire life to ruining the Earth. I was supposed to protect it." I couldn't stop rambling as disbelief swamped me. "We were supposed to protect it. My family died, Edwin. My sister, she—" My voice cracked. I couldn't even think about that right now. I didn't want to think she had gone through that pain for nothing. I couldn't.
Edwin hushed me softly and held me a little tighter. "You couldn't have known. It's not your fault."
"But I had doubts, Edwin. I could've—"
He dipped down and captured my lips with his, and he kissed me as if his lips could take away all my hurt. I wished they could. But even if they couldn't, it was a distraction I needed before I spiraled into despair.
"God, I've missed you," he whispered against my lips.
"I ne
ed you," I whispered back, sinking my hands into his hair as I pressed my body against his.
"Not nearly as much as I need you."
As we sank down against the bed, I thought that couldn't possibly be true. Because I was starting to realize that I couldn't live my life without him. When I said I had nothing left in the world, it was true. Because the one person I needed most was condemned to Hell.
I woke in the middle of the night. Moonlight beamed in through the window, softening the darkness of the plain room. Edwin was still curled up in the bed beside me, sleeping. I only barely managed to keep myself from touching him.
He looked so restful. His permanently furrowed brow and that hard look he always had on his face were long gone. I smiled down at him. I hoped this was the end of the secrets. The running and hiding from our feelings. I just wanted to be with him. Was that really so much to ask?
For someone who had done as many bad things as I had, it probably was. But up until recently, I had thought I was doing the right thing. I would make amends somehow. Starting by distancing myself from the Druids. That would be easy enough, I figured, considering current matters. Now I could have the normal life I always wanted. My brain was buzzing with possibilities. Try as I might, I couldn't get back to sleep.
I carefully got out of bed and crept into the hallway. The house was completely silent. The only sounds were my bare feet padding against the hardwood and the whisper of the wind brushing tree branches against the windows. I had planned on going to the kitchen for a drink of water, but as I was walking down the stairs, I noticed Nathaniel sitting in the living room.
I leaned up against the doorway. "What're you doing up?"
He jumped as if he'd been lost in thought. "Hazel."
"That's my name," I said with a smile. "You got something on your mind?"
Nathaniel nodded, averting his eyes. "I couldn't sleep if I wanted to."
"Wanna talk? For old times' sake?"
"Old times," he said with a quiet laugh. "We've been apart for all of a week."
"I deserved that."
His eyes fell away again. "No, you didn't. I'm sorry."
"Hey, it's okay. I get it." I leaned back to look at the patio door at the end of the hallway. "Let's go outside. It looks beautiful, and we stand less chance of waking everyone up."
