by Abby Green
It made her want to push him away again, for making her feel too much. For making her fall in love. Damn him.
‘And if Max hadn’t found the culprit so easily? Would you have believed me anyway?’
Luca stood up and paced behind his desk, his white shirt pulled across his chest, trousers hugging slim hips. Just like that, heat flared in Serena’s solar plexus.
He stopped and looked at her. ‘Yes.’
Serena cursed herself for pushing him. She hated herself for the doubt, for thinking that he was lying. And then she had to concede that Luca didn’t lie. He was too moral. Too damn good.
She stood up again, her legs wobbly. ‘Well, thank you for finding out.’
Luca looked at her for a long moment, and then he said, ‘Serena—’
She put up her hand, because she couldn’t bear for him to say it. ‘Wait. I have something I need to tell you first.’
His mouth closed and he folded his arms across his chest. Serena knew she couldn’t be anything else other than completely honest. She had been through too much soul-searching to ever want to hide away from pain again. She might never see him again. The urge to tell him how she felt was rising like an unstoppable wave.
‘I’ve fallen in love with you, Luca.’
He looked at her, and as she watched, the colour leached from his face. She broke apart inside, but was determined not to show it.
‘I know it’s the last thing you want to hear. We were only ever about...’ she stalled ‘...not that...and I know it’s over.’
She gestured with a hand to where Max had been sitting.
‘After this...we owe each other nothing. And I’m sorry again that your association with me made things bad for you.’
Luca unfolded his arms and slashed a hand in the air, looking angry. ‘You don’t have to apologise—if I hadn’t been so caught up in blaming you, I would have ensured a proper investigation was carried out years ago. You had to suffer the stigma of those accusations too.’
Serena smiled bitterly. ‘I was used to it, though. I had no reputation to defend.’
‘No—your father took care of that.’
Responsibility weighed heavily on her shoulders. ‘I have to go home... I have to tell people about my father—see that he’s brought to justice finally.’
‘If there’s anything you need help with, please let me know.’
Her heart twisted. So polite. So courteous. A million miles from their first meeting in this office. And even though she knew her own family would be there to back her up, she felt an awful quiver of vulnerability—because, really, the only person she wanted by her side the day she faced her father again was Luca.
But that scenario was not to be part of her future.
She hitched up her chin and tried to block out the fact that she’d told Luca she loved him and had received no similar declaration in return. That fantasy belonged deep where she harboured dreams of the kind of fulfilment and happiness she saw her sister experiencing with her family. But at least she could take one good thing with her.
‘Are you still going to give me a job?’
‘Of course—wherever you want,’ Luca said quickly, making another piece of Serena’s heart shatter. He was obviously that eager to see her go.
‘I’d like to go back to Athens today.’
Luca said tightly, ‘Laura will arrange it for you.’
‘Thank you.’
So clipped, so polite.
Before anger could rise at Luca’s non-reaction to her baring her soul to him, she turned to leave.
She was at the door before she heard a broken-sounding, ‘Serena...’
Heart thumping, hope spiralling, Serena turned around. Luca looked tortured.
But he said only two words. ‘I’m sorry.’
Her heart sank like a stone. She knew he didn’t love her, but she marvelled that the human spirit was such an irrepressibly optimistic thing even in the face of certain disappointment.
She forced a smile. ‘Don’t be. You’ve given me the gift of discovering how strong I am.’
* * *
You’ve given me the gift of discovering how strong I am.
Luca was stuck in a state of paralysis for so long after Serena left that he had to blink and focus to realise that Laura was in his office and speaking to him, looking worried.
‘Senhor Fonseca? Are you all right?’
And as if he’d been holding something at bay, it ripped through him then, stunning and painful in its intensity, like warmth seeping into frozen limbs. Burning.
‘No,’ he issued curtly, going over to his drinks cabinet and helping himself to a shot of whisky.
When he turned around, Laura’s eyes were huge and she was pale. And Luca knew he was coming apart at the seams.
He forced himself not to snarl at the girl, but the pain inside him was almost crippling. ‘What is it?’
Laura stuttered, making him feel even worse. ‘It’s—it’s Miss DePiero. I just thought you’d want to know she’s on her way to the airport. She’s booked first class on a flight to Athens this afternoon.’
‘Thank you,’ Luca bit out. ‘I’m going to be unavailable for the rest of the day. Please cancel all my appointments. Go home early if you want.’
Laura blinked and said faintly, ‘Yes, sir.’ And then backed away as if he might explode.
He waited until Laura had left and then left himself, knowing nothing more than that he needed to get out—get away. Because he felt like a wounded animal that might lash out and cause serious harm.
He was aware of one or two people approaching him as he walked out of the building, but they quickly diverted when they saw his face. He walked and walked without even knowing where he was going until he realised he was at Ipanema Beach. Where he’d taken Serena just a few days ago.
The scene was the same, even during the week. The beautiful bodies. The amorous couples. The crashing waves. But it mocked him now, for feeling so carefree that day. For believing for a moment that he could be like those people. That he could feel like them.
Anger rose up as he ripped off his tie and jacket, dropping them on a bench and sitting down. That was the problem. He knew he couldn’t feel. The ability had been cut out of him the day he and his brother had been torn apart.
As young boys they’d been close enough to have a special language that only they understood. It had used to drive their father crazy. And Luca could remember that they’d sensed something was happening that day when their parents had brought them into their father’s study.
Luca’s mother had bent down to his level and said, with the scent of alcohol on her breath, ‘Luca, darling, I love you so much I want to take you to Italy with me. Will you come?’
He’d looked at Max, standing near his father. Luca had known that Max loved their mother—he had too—but he didn’t like it when she came home drunk and falling down. He and Max would fight about it—Max hating it if Luca said anything critical, which he was more liable to do.
He’d looked back at his mother, confused. ‘But what about Max? Don’t you love him too?’
She’d been impatient. ‘Of course I do. But Max will stay here with your father.’
Panic had clutched at his insides, making him feel for a moment as if his bowels might drop out of his body. ‘For ever?’
She’d nodded and said, slurring slightly, ‘Yes, caro, for ever. We don’t need them, do we?’
Luca had heard a noise and looked to see Max, ashen, eyes glimmering with tears. ‘Mamma...?’
She’d made an irritated sound and said something in rapid Italian, taking Luca by the hand forcibly, as if to drag him out. Luca had felt as if he was in some kind of nightmare. Max had started crying in earnest and had run to their mother, clutching at her wa
ist. That was when Luca had felt some kind of icy calm come over him—as if Max was acting out how he felt deep inside, but he couldn’t let it out. It was too huge.
His mother had issued another stream of Italian and let Luca go, shoving him towards his father, prising Max off her and saying angrily, ‘Bastante! Stop snivelling. I’ll take you with me instead. After all,’ she’d said snidely over Max’s hiccups, ‘your father doesn’t care who he gets...’
The black memory faded. His mother had told him she loved him and then minutes later she’d demonstrated how empty her words were. Swapping one brother for the other as if choosing objects in a shop.
Serena had told him she loved him.
As soon as she’d said the words, Luca had been transported back to that room, closing in on himself, waiting for the moment when she’d turn around and show him that she didn’t mean it. Not really. She was only saying it because that was what women did, wasn’t it? They had no idea of the devastation they could cause when the emptiness of their words was revealed.
But she hadn’t looked blasé. Nor as if she hadn’t meant it. She’d been pale. Her blue eyes had looked wounded when he’d said, ‘I’m sorry.’
He thought of her words: You’ve made me see how strong I am.
Luca felt disgusted. And how strong was he? Had he ever gone toe-to-toe with his own demons? No, because he’d told himself building up trust in the Fonseca name again was more important.
He heard a sound and looked up to see a plane lifting into the sky from the airport. He knew it couldn’t be her plane, but he had a sudden image of her on it, leaving, and panic gripped him so acutely that he almost called out.
It was as clear as day to him now—what lay between him and his brother. He should have ranted and railed that day when their parents had so cruelly split them up. He should have let it out—not buried it so deep that he’d behaved like a robot since then, afraid to feel anything. Afraid to face the guilt of knowing that he could have done more to protect them both.
If he’d let out the depth of his anger and pain, as Max had, then maybe they wouldn’t have been split apart. Two halves of a whole, torn asunder. Maybe their parents would have been forced to acknowledge the shallow depths of their actions, their intent of scoring points off each other.
It all bubbled up now—and also the sick realisation that he was letting it happen all over again. That while he’d had an excuse of sorts before, because he’d only been a child, he was an adult now—and if he couldn’t shout and scream for what he wanted then he and Max had been pawns for nothing.
And, worse, he’d face a life devoid of any meaning or any prospect of happiness. Happiness had never concerned him before now. He’d been content to focus on loftier concerns, telling himself it was enough. And it wasn’t. Not any more.
* * *
Serena stood in line for the gate in the first-class lounge. She was grateful for it, because there was enough space there for her to feel numb and not to have to deal with a crush of people around her.
She couldn’t let herself think of Luca, even though her circling thoughts kept coming back to him and that stark look on his face. I’m sorry.
She was sorry too. Now she knew how he’d felt when he’d told her that he wished he’d never set eyes on her.
She wanted to feel that way too—she actively encouraged it to come up. But it wouldn’t. Because she couldn’t regret knowing him. Or loving him. Even if he couldn’t love her back.
For a wild moment Serena thought of turning around and going back, telling him she’d settle for whatever he could give her... And then she saw herself in a few years...months...? Her soul shrivelled up from not being loved in return.
The man ahead of her moved forward and the airline steward was reaching for her boarding pass.
She was about to take it back and go through when she heard a sort of commotion, and then a familiar voice shouting, ‘I need to see her!’
She whirled around to see Luca being restrained by two staff members a few feet away, dishevelled and wild-looking in shirt and trousers.
‘What are you doing?’ she gasped in shock, stepping out of the way so that people could continue boarding.
She wouldn’t let her heart beat fast. She couldn’t. It didn’t mean anything.
His eyes were fierce. ‘Please don’t go. I need you to stay.’
A feeling of euphoria mixed with pain surged through her. ‘Why do you want me to stay, Luca?’
The men holding him kept a tight grip. Luca didn’t even seem to notice, though. He looked feverish, as if he was burning up.
His voice was rough with emotion. ‘When you told me you loved me...I couldn’t believe it. I was too afraid to believe. My mother said that to me right before she swapped me for my brother...as if we were nothing.’
Serena’s belly clenched. ‘Oh, Luca...’ She looked at the security men, beseeching, ‘Please let him go.’
They finally did, but stayed close by, ready to move in again. Serena didn’t care. She was oblivious.
He took her hand and held it to his chest, dragging her closer. She could feel his heart thudding against his chest.
‘You say you love me...but a part of me can’t trust it...can’t believe it. I’m terrified that you’ll turn around one day and walk away—confirm all my twisted suspicions that when people say they love you, they’ll annihilate you anyway.’
Serena felt an incredible welling of love and reached out her other hand to touch Luca’s face. She knew he was scared.
‘Do you love me?’
After a long moment—long enough for her to see how hard this was for him to admit—he said, ‘The thought of you leaving, of life without you...is more than I can bear. If that’s love then, yes, I love you more than I’ve loved anyone else.’
Serena’s heart overflowed. ‘Are you willing to let me prove how much I love you?’
Luca nodded. ‘The pain of letting you go is worse than the pain of facing my own pathetic fears. You’ve humbled me with your strength and grace.’
She shook her head, tears making her vision blurry. ‘They’re not pathetic fears, Luca. I’m just as scared as you are.’
He smiled, and it was shaky, all that arrogant bravado replaced by raw emotion. He joked, ‘You? Scared? Not possible. You’re the bravest person I know. And I have no intention of ever letting you out of my sight again.’
Serena smiled and fought back tears as Luca pulled her in to him and covered her mouth with his, kissing her with unrestrained passion.
When they separated, the crowd around them clapped and cheered. Giddy, Serena blushed and ducked her head against Luca’s neck.
He looked at her. ‘Will you come home with me?’
Home. Her own place—with him.
The ferocity and speed with which they’d found each other terrified her for a moment. Could she trust it? But she saw everything she felt mirrored in Luca’s eyes, and she reached out and snatched the dream before it could disappear.
‘Yes.’
* * *
The next day when Serena woke up she pulled on a big T-shirt and went looking for Luca in his house in Alto Gavea. She still felt a little dizzy from everything that had happened. She and Luca had come back here from the airport, and after making love they’d talked until dawn had broken. He’d promised to go to Athens with her to start the lengthy process of telling her family everything and pursuing her father.
She heard a noise as she passed his study and went in to see him sitting behind his desk in only jeans. Stubbled jaw. He looked up and smiled, and Serena couldn’t help smiling back goofily.
He held out a hand. ‘Come here.’
She went over and let him catch her, pulling her onto his lap. After some breathless kisses she moved back. ‘What are you doing?’
A glint of something came into his eyes and he said, ‘Catching up on local news.’
He indicated with his head to the computer and Serena turned to look. When she realised what she was seeing, she tensed in his arms. The internet was filled with photos of them kissing passionately in the airport—obviously taken by people’s mobile phones. One headline screamed: Has Fonseca tamed wild-child DePiero at last? Another one: Fonseca and DePiero rekindle their scandalous romance!
She felt sick and turned to Luca, who was watching her carefully. ‘I’m sorry. This is exactly what you were afraid of.’
But he just shrugged, eyes bright and clear. No shadows. ‘I couldn’t care less what they say. And they have it wrong—you tamed me.’
Serena let the past fall away and caressed Luca’s jaw, love rising to make her throat tight. ‘I love you just as you are.’
Luca said gruffly, ‘I want to take you to every beach in South America to watch the sunset—starting with the ones here in Rio.’
Serena felt breathless. ‘That could take some time.’
Luca kissed her and said, ‘At least a lifetime, I’m hoping.’
He deliberately lifted up her left hand then, and pressed a kiss to her ring finger, a question in his eyes and a new tension in his body. Serena’s heart ached that he might still doubt her love.
She nodded her head and said simply, ‘Yes. The answer will always be yes, my love.’
Three years later.
The wide-eyed American reporter was standing in front of Rome’s supreme court and saying breathlessly, ‘This is the trial of the decade—if not the century. Lorenzo DePiero has finally been judged and condemned for his brutality and corruption, but no one could have foreseen the extent to which his own children and his wife suffered. His landmark sentencing will almost certainly guarantee that he lives out the rest of his days in jail.’
The press were still stunned to have discovered that the privileged life they’d assumed the DePiero heiresses to have lived had all been a lie.
Behind the reporter there was a flurry of activity as people streamed out of the majestic building. First was Rocco De Marco, the illegitimate son of Lorenzo DePiero, with his petite red-haired wife Gracie. Quickly on their heels were Siena Xenakis and her husband Andreas.
