by Cait Marie
Try something new
Dye hair pink
Sneak into movie theater
Climb water tower
15
Wednesday
“Remind me why we’re doing this again?” Dylan tied off the balloon then wiped it with the towel sitting between them.
As Dylan held another open, Gavin slowly poured red paint inside the matching latex. “It was in a movie. You know the carnival game where people throw darts at the balloons? It’s like that, but they’re closer together, and when they pop, the paint bursts out over the canvas or whatever.”
Dylan tied that one off and grabbed a blue balloon. “Sounds messy.”
“Definitely.” Laughing, Gavin filled the balloon. After a moment, he said, “Lila’s wanted to do it since we were kids. She used to throw fits when her parents said no. Even when she said she’d do it outside so there wouldn’t be a mess, they told her no because it was too dangerous to be throwing darts around.”
“And they’re fine with it now?”
They finished that balloon, but Gavin didn’t reach for the next color. He picked at the edge of the towel. Yes, her parents were fine with it. Just like they were fine with the pink hair dye and the tattoo. He had a feeling they’d give her anything she asked for right then.
“Hey.” Dylan brought him back to the present. “You okay?”
He knew it wasn’t his secret to tell. Lila would be mad, but he needed to tell someone. He needed to talk about it with someone who wasn’t his mom. So, he did. He told Dylan everything: finding the bucket list and promising to help, the truce and the Chicago trip, and then seeing her in the hospital.
“Oh my God.” Dylan’s usual light, joking tone had completely vanished.
Gavin had only ever seen him so serious a couple times throughout the years. He picked up another balloon and began stretching it, giving his hands something to do.
“All right,” Dylan said, snatching the balloon away and holding it open. “Let’s get these done so you can show her. Do you have a copy of the list?”
“I have a picture of it on my phone.”
“Good. Send that to me, and I’ll start working on some of the other things. I have a great idea for Saturday.”
Gavin’s head snapped up. “You’ll help?”
Dylan tilted his head with a slight shake. “Of course, man. However I can.”
“Thank you.”
Cautious fingers brushed Lila’s hair to the side. She opened her eyes to see her mom looking down at her then closed them again. When she didn’t move, her mom laid down beside her. “How are you feeling?”
Lila turned to her side. “I’m fine. Maybe a two or three.”
More like six, but she didn’t want to alarm her mother. They’d started that after the initial diagnosis—rating the pain like the doctors had her do in the hospital. She tried not to think about that time too much. It was terrifying. She’d had a lot of headaches in the last year, but when they started becoming too frequent and horrible, she knew something was wrong. After two weeks of nonstop pain that she’d tried blaming on stress from midterms, she woke up in agony, screaming for her parents. She’d held her head and sobbed the whole way to the ER.
“Lila,” her mother’s voice drew her attention.
She looked up, unable to hide the tears. Her mom moved closer, pulling her into her arms. “It’s going to be okay.”
“I know but…”
“But what, sweetheart?”
Lila took a deep breath. “What if I forget?”
Her mom didn’t say anything for a long minute. “We’ll figure it out. Just like we always do.”
A soft knock on her door sounded before it slowly opened. Her dad peeked in with a sad smile that nearly broke her heart. It was as hard for them as it was for her.
“Your presence is requested next door,” he said. “Unless you’re not up for it, of course.”
“No.” She sat up. “I’m fine.”
As her dad left, her mom stood and helped Lila to her feet. When Lila hesitated to follow out the door, her mom turned back to face her.
“It’s okay to be scared.” She tucked a piece of Lila’s hair back. “You can be worried about the surgery and your memory; that’s completely understandable. We’re all nervous. But don’t be scared of this—of him. He loves you so much.”
“How…?”
Her mom laughed and took hold of her hand. She led her down the stairs. “I’m not blind. I’ve seen the way he looks at you—like you’re the most precious thing in the world. Susie and I tried to figure out what happened between you in middle school, but neither of you would tell us. We tried everything but locking you two in a room together until…”
“The Scoop.” Lila laughed as they stopped at the front door. “That’s why she made him work with me?”
“It was a last attempt, and I’m so glad to see it worked.” Her mom held open the door, and they looked out at the gray gloomy day.
Stepping out onto the front porch, Lila smiled as she thought about Gavin holding her in the rain of that faraway parking lot. “Yeah, it worked. But he ran out of here yesterday.”
“He’s scared,” her mom said. “Give him this one.”
“Thank you.” Lila hugged her.
“Go to him.” Her mom squeezed her once, then she grabbed her shoulders and turned her in the direction of Gavin’s house. Before letting go, she leaned closer to say, “Just don’t do anything that will make your father want to kill him.”
Lila’s cheeks flared. She shook off her mother’s hands and ran down the stairs, calling over her shoulder, “Bye, Mom.”
She heard her mom chuckle as she went back inside, and Lila ran toward the Millers’ house. She stopped in front of the door with her fist raised to knock. As children, they’d always barged into one another’s homes. She’d just gone inside and made her way to Gavin’s room.
Then, everything changed.
Biting on her lip, she lowered her hand to the doorknob. She slowly opened it, wondering if she’d made the wrong decision. With a deep breath, she stepped inside, closed the door behind her, and walked toward the staircase.
“Lila?”
She whirled around. “Hi, Mrs. Miller. I was told to come over. I’m sorry, I should’ve knocked. I—”
Mrs. Miller rushed forward, interrupting her with a hug. “You’re always welcome here.” She leaned away to look at her. “I was just surprised. It’s good to see you willingly in this house again. We missed having you around.”
Lila nodded with a smile. “I’ve missed being here too.”
“Gavin is in the garage.” Mrs. Miller led her away from the stairs. At the door, she said, “Have fun.”
Lila thanked her. She’d passed their car in the driveway, so she wasn’t surprised to see the space cleared out. What did surprise her was the four-foot canvas hanging against the large door with balloons pinned to it. She let out a gasp, and Gavin turned to face her.
“I came to get you, but your dad said you were in bed. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said as she approached.
“I’m sorry,” they said at the same time. For years, she’d waited for an apology while refusing to give one herself. They weren’t wasting time anymore, and she couldn’t keep her smile from widening. When he grinned at her, she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around him. He didn’t hesitate to do the same.
He pushed her back and placed a hand on her cheek. “I shouldn’t have run out like that. I was just so overwhelmed.”
“I know,” she said, looking around the room. “So, what are we doing today?”
He walked to the workbench along one wall and grabbed a cup and clear sheets of plastic. When he sat the former on the ground beside her, she looked inside.
“You didn’t.” She picked out a dart and laughed. “How do you remember this? It’s not even on the list.”
Plucking the dart from her hand and tossing it back in the cup, he said, “I remember ever
ything you say.”
She bit the inside of her cheek and took the clear poncho from him. After pulling it over her head, she reached for a dart again, but he stopped her.
“If we’re doing this, we’re not half-assing it.” He pulled a hair tie she hadn’t noticed from his wrist. When she looked at him in confusion, he said, “This is not going to look pretty but turn around.”
Gavin’s fingers threaded through Lila’s soft, red hair. He’d asked his mom how to do it and watched a YouTube video, but the braid was still not turning out right. Lila sucked in a breath as a strand of hair tangled and he pulled.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. He reached the end and tied it off.
She lifted a hand to feel it while turning to face him. He could see the smile she fought. As she let go, she said, “Perfect.”
To keep from pulling her back into his arms, he took out his phone and played the soundtrack he’d already queued up. She laughed, shaking her head, then grabbed up a couple darts. Gavin laid his phone down beside the cup.
“Shall we?” Lila asked, handing him a blue dart.
He took it and stepped up beside her. “We shall.”
They both missed the first few throws, and the laughter floating through the room filled his soul with happiness. As Lila grabbed a couple more, she asked, “Shouldn’t you be good at this? You’ve played baseball for how many years now?”
“Throwing darts at balloons is completely different from throwing a baseball.” He threw the dart and cursed when it struck the white board beneath.
A red balloon burst near the center, and Lila screamed, thrusting her hands into the air. “I did it!”
Deciding he could no longer resist, he reached for her. He hugged her up against him and twirled around, reveling in the celebration. It was going to kill him if she couldn’t remember him the following week, but his mother was right. They still had a few days, and he wasn’t going to spend their remaining time fighting what they’d built up in the last week.
He set her down and kissed the top of her head. “All right, now show me how you did that.”
She lined up to throw another as he stood behind her with one hand around her waist. The first one missed, but the next one popped a blue balloon, splattering paint down the canvas. They went back and forth, Gavin hitting more and more with practice. When the last balloon burst, and they were covered in paint despite the ponchos, he took the canvas and leaned it against the wall to dry.
“That was really fun,” Lila said as he hit the garage door button to let in some air.
The rain had started sometime while inside the closed-off garage. Water gathered in the driveway, and they watched as the tiny ripples spread across the puddles. He walked over to stand beside Lila where she stared at it coming down in buckets. She took off her poncho, and he quickly followed suit, glad to be rid of the sticky plastic.
She turned off the music, and they stood in comfortable silence, listening to the pattering surrounding them. When he looked down at Lila, he saw her smile falter. She crossed her arms. He gently grabbed her forearm to uncross them before pulling her close. As he held her against his chest and her hands went to his back, he swore their hearts beat in sync.
After a couple minutes, she let go and stepped away. Light had returned to her gaze. She looked from him to his driveway. Before he could protest, she tugged on his hand, dragging him into the pouring rain. She laughed and twirled around with her hands in the air.
That girl was going to break his heart.
16
Thursday
“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Lila said again. “How did you even find out about this place?”
“How do you think?” Gavin turned down a gravel road, slowing to minimize the amount of rocks kicking up behind his mom’s car. They’d dropped her off at the Scoop before heading out.
“Dylan.”
He tapped the side of his nose. Dylan had a particular skill set that basically involved finding information. When he’d declared that he would be studying criminal justice, it surprised no one. Although, they did find it amusing since he was also one to frequently bend the rules and get in trouble.
The bright red barn came into view, and Lila jumped up and down in her seat like a little kid. It was adorable. If he’d known that’s all it took to make her so happy, Gavin would’ve done it much earlier. It was only a twenty-minute drive. That was easily something they could continue doing.
That thought sent an ache through his chest. They could continue doing it if she remembered.
He shook his head. As he pulled up in front of the barn, Lila clasped her hands together under her chin, the biggest smile lighting up her face. Gavin turned off the car, got out, and moved to her door, but she was already opening it and jumping out.
An older woman walked out of the white house on the other side of the wide circle drive. When she reached them, she stuck her hand out. “You must be Gavin and Lila. I’m Paula.”
They each shook her hand before she led them around the far side of the barn. She pointed out different animals and historical facts about the farm, waving to a couple workers as they went, but Gavin was too focused on the girl walking ahead of him with a bounce in her step he hadn’t seen in years.
As they neared the enclosed shed, he could practically feel Lila’s excitement radiating from her. She gasped as the baby goats came into view, and he laughed.
“They’re just a few months old,” Paula explained as she led them through the gate to the fenced-in area. “They’ve been pretty playful lately, so this was a good time to come.”
A few of the goats ran over, and Lila immediately dropped to her knees to pet them, not caring about the mud from the rain the day before. The bright sun would dry it up soon, but the ground was still soft.
“Oh my gosh, you’re so cute!” Lila held one of the goats close and kissed its head.
“Stay as long as you want,” Paula said quietly to Gavin. By the look she gave him, he knew Dylan had likely told her at least part of the reason they were there.
“Thank you.”
“I will be out in the main barn if you need anything, and my son will come by a few times to check on things,” she said before leaving back through the gate.
“Look how cute they are,” Lila repeated.
He had to agree; they were pretty adorable. He sat beside her, lifting his hand as a pure white goat came to sniff him. Lila giggled next to him, and he looked over to find one climbing onto her lap while another put its front hooves on her shoulder.
They stayed for hours, playing with the goats, watching them run around and climb on things. Paula’s son, who looked a few years older than Gavin and Lila, eventually wandered over to feed the small animals. They helped before walking around the farm with him to see the others.
“Come back soon!” he said after their goodbyes.
They headed back toward the car, and Gavin saw Paula nudge him with her elbow at the same time Lila stilled. Returning soon wasn’t possible, but hopefully they could make their way back someday.
Gavin laced his fingers through hers as they sat in the car on the way home. She didn’t talk, but she didn’t pull away either. They parted ways at their houses to clean up and change, and he wished he knew what to say to make it better.
Lila’s empty house was a rarity. Her parents had gone to dinner with a client of her dad’s, then they were going to see a movie. She’d had to practically beg them to take the extended night out. They worried about leaving her alone, but she promised to call them if anything happened. She wasn’t going back to work until the next day, and Gavin had the night off, so he could take her to the hospital in an emergency.
Besides, her parents needed time to themselves. For the last six months, they’d focused solely on her health. It was wearing on them; though, they fought to hide it from her. She hadn’t realized just how hard it all was for them until she overheard her mother crying a couple weeks earlier. So, when her dad ment
ioned the client dinner, Lila insisted they take the rest of the night to themselves.
She climbed the stairs to her bedroom and immediately went to her bathroom. She smelled like goat and had dried mud all over her legs. Yanking her hair tie out, she quickly stripped and showered. The warm water always soothed her head, and she took her time rubbing her temples while shampooing her hair.
As soon as she was done, she dressed and ran back to the house next door. She didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts. The words from Paula’s son floated through her head, clogging her throat. She didn’t know if she’d remember the farm, but she had a plan forming as she burst into the Millers’ home. She moved up the stairs, not hesitating when she reached Gavin’s door.
Except, she probably should have.
She ran straight into Gavin, who caught her around the waist but failed to keep them upright. They tumbled to the floor.
Her laughter abruptly cut off as she took in his appearance. He’d apparently had the same idea to shower but hadn’t dressed yet. Only a towel was wrapped low around his hips. She gulped, feeling the heat creep up her cheeks as she realized how close they lay.
“Gavin,” she whispered, barely able to get the words out. “I know you’re scared but—”
His lips cut her off, and she was grateful. She hadn’t known exactly how that sentence was going to end, but that was the result she’d hoped for. Her hands trailed up his chest, and he pulled her on top of him with both hands gripping her hips.
She sat up, breaking the kiss, still straddling his waist. Breathing heavy, she looked down and nearly laughed. How had they gone from constantly fighting a week earlier to making out on his floor?
He raised a hand to her cheek. When she didn’t lower back down to him, he sat up to meet her. The kiss was slower, deeper, but cut off too soon.
“We should stop,” he whispered. As she nodded and made to get off of him, he grabbed her. “Not because I don’t want to.”
