by Cait Marie
Gavin was her first friend and her first love. Everything about him screamed into her soul, claiming a spot in her heart. He was hers. And no matter what happened in the next few days, Lila would find her way back to him.
“And where have you two been?” Dylan asked as Gavin and Lila walked out of the woods and into their backyards.
Gavin let go of Lila’s hand to put an arm around her. Pulling her close, he kissed the side of her head. The blush spreading across her cheeks made him grin. “Watching the sunrise. It was the last thing on her bucket list.”
It wasn’t, but it seemed they’d crossed off conquering a fear too. According to her, it was admitting she loved him. He wondered if it was what happened after though. It didn’t matter. Either way, he was happy.
“Uh huh,” Kaley said from her spot on one of the mattresses.
Lila ducked her head, making it more apparent they were off doing more than watching the sunrise. She was a horrible liar. Dylan laughed, and Gavin shot a glare in his direction as he sat with Lila. His friend held up his hands, palms out, in front of his chest. Sitting beside him, Beth Ann punched him in the arm.
“Ow!”
“Good morning,” Mrs. Weston called, walking from their back doors.
Her husband followed close behind. He narrowed his eyes at Gavin sitting on the same mattress as his daughter. Uncomfortable guilt shot through Gavin, and he avoided the man’s stare, worried he’d see what they’d been up to written across his face.
“We have breakfast cooking for everyone,” Mrs. Weston said. “Why don’t you grab the bedding and come inside?”
They all stood, gathering up blankets and pillows.
“Gavin,” Mr. Weston said before he could follow everyone into the house. “Help me with the mattresses?”
Lila took the comforter Gavin held and mouthed “sorry.” When she turned toward the house, he bent down to release the air from the closest mattress. Mr. Weston hooked a pump into one of the others to quicken the process. The back door shut, leaving them alone. Gavin’s heart raced as he waited for the lecture he was sure to come.
When Mr. Weston sat on one of the mattresses with a sigh, Gavin looked up to see him holding his face in both hands. Gavin didn’t know what to do. He glanced to the house and back. With careful steps, he moved closer and sat beside the man who was always there more than his own father.
“Sir?”
Mr. Weston let out a quiet chuckle and raised his head. “Gavin, I have known you your entire life. I was literally at the hospital the day you were born. I think you can call me Robert.”
Gavin opened his mouth but was cut off.
“My baby girl is having brain surgery tomorrow.” The grief in Robert’s voice cut through Gavin.
“She’s going to be okay.” She had to be.
Robert turned his head to look at him. “You’re not worried she’ll forget?”
Gavin hesitated. He wanted to comfort Robert, but instead, he whispered, “I’m terrified.”
They sat in silence—the only sounds coming from the pump, the air whirring from the other mattresses, and some birds in the trees behind them. The kitchen was barely visible through the glass doors because of the bright sun, but Gavin could just make out Lila dancing around with Kaley and Beth Ann while her mother laughed from her spot by the stove. Dylan sat on the counter watching and probably sneaking pieces of whatever food Mrs. Weston was making.
Robert reached over and flipped the pump off. He stood and held out a hand to help Gavin up. Once he was on his feet, Robert put an arm around his shoulders. “Come on. We’ll deal with the rest of this later.”
Gavin nodded, still unsure what to stay.
“After breakfast, we were going to ask for some family-only time,” Robert said as they neared the door.
Gavin froze. He didn’t think he’d have to say goodbye so soon.
Robert moved face him, blocking his view of everyone else. “But I think you should stay.”
His eyes snapped up to the man’s. Relieving breath filled his lungs. “Thank you.”
“You really do love her, don’t you?”
“More than anything.” There was no hesitation. He didn’t even need to think it through.
Robert smiled and led Gavin inside, who immediately walked to Lila and twirled her into his arms.
“Everything okay?” she asked, leaning into him.
As her mom began bringing food to the table with the others, Gavin tightened his arms around her. “Perfect.”
Breakfast lasted longer than it should have. It seemed no one was ready to leave, and the Westons didn’t say anything despite Robert’s earlier words. The sight of Lila sitting so at ease, when just the week before she’d been too closed off to speak to most others, filled Gavin with happiness. As Lila laughed at Dylan and Beth Ann arguing over the trip to New York he was planning, Gavin scooted closer and put an arm over the back of her chair.
“I don’t understand why I can’t just crash on your couch,” Dylan said, pointing with his fork.
“Because I don’t have a couch.” Beth Ann grabbed his fork and put it on top of her plate before stacking it on his. She reached over to take a few others to the sink. “I live in a dorm.”
Dylan picked up some empty cups and joined her. “Fine, then, we can share your bed and cuddle. I call little spoon!”
She didn’t respond. She let out a huff as she walked back to the table to grab more dishes. Mrs. Weston tried to stop her, but Beth Ann insisted. When Kaley reached over and put a hand on Lila’s arm, Gavin’s eyes snapped down. And just like that, the happiness was zapped from him.
Wiping a tear from her cheek, he pressed a kiss to the side of her head and held her close. But he stayed quiet. There was nothing more he could say to ease the fear. Their friends continued to bicker and tease each other as they did the dishes. Beth Ann blew a handful of bubbles at Dylan, and Lila let out a soft laugh.
“Think they’ll ever admit their feelings?” she whispered, her words echoing his from the night of her graduation party.
“Eventually, they’ll have to face it.”
She nodded against his shoulder before sitting upright. Her soft lips met his for just a moment, then she was up and running to pull the sink nozzle from its place. A bright smile replaced the tears as she sprayed her friends.
“She’s going to be okay,” Kaley said, standing beside him.
He stood too, looking at the Westons. With a nod in their direction, he joined the chaotic water fight they never would have allowed before.
Lila’s Summer Bucket List
Sleep under the stars
Attend a party
Get a tattoo
Use fake ID to sing karaoke in a bar
Stand under the lights on the football field
Go on a date ❤️
Sneak out of the house
Visit the baby goat farm
Go to Chicago
Midnight swim
Spend a day in bed watching movies
Stay up to watch the sunrise
❤️ Be kissed in the rain
Run through the halls of the high school
Conquer a fear ❤️
Paintball
Try something new
Dye hair pink
Sneak into movie theater
Climb water tower
24
Monday
Gavin shut off the alarm as soon as it started beeping. His hand went back to Lila’s waist. She stared at him in the dim morning light creeping in through the curtains. They’d both been awake for a while. Neither said a word; they simply laid together. She still couldn’t believe her parents agreed he could stay.
Lila pulled herself closer, wanting to stay there forever. Her heart raced, and her throat threatened to cut off her oxygen when she thought about the dwindling time they had.
“Breathe,” Gavin whispered. His hand moved up to cup her cheek, and she closed her eyes. “Just breathe.”
&nb
sp; She shook her head before burying her face in the crook of his neck as she curled into him. He didn’t hesitate to hold her tight. His fingers brushed through her hair, and he whispered against her ear that everything was going to be fine.
A soft knock caught Lila’s attention. When a gentle hand came down on her shoulder, she looked up to see her mom. “Time to get up.”
Lila nodded, still unable to speak. Her mom turned on the small lamp on the bedside table then left to get ready herself. Lila sat up, and Gavin followed.
“I’m going to go home and shower, but I’ll be back before you leave,” he said.
“Gavin?” She finally found her voice.
“Yeah?”
Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she shifted to face him. “You should stay home.”
“What?” His brow creased in the center. “No, I’m going with you.”
“The hospital is over an hour away,” she said. “It’s silly for you to drive all the way there just to sit with me for five minutes before they take me back.”
He pressed his lips to hers. She slid her hand up his chest, but he pulled away too soon and stood from the bed. He walked around to her side of the mattress, saying, “I’ll see you in twenty minutes.”
As she opened her mouth to protest, he bent down to kiss her again, hard and desperate. Then he was gone.
She sighed. She wanted him there, but she was afraid it would only make things harder.
The warm shower soothed her tense muscles some. It helped wake her up and clear her mind. Everything was going to be fine. Photos and video clips—memories of an eventful couple weeks—filled her phone, giving her something to look back at later. No matter what happened when she woke up, she’d have her parents. And Gavin would be there to remind her.
After standing under the steamy water for too long, she had to dress quickly, grab her hospital bag and phone, then head downstairs. Her mom stood at the counter, pouring coffee into two tumblers. Lila’s stomach grumbled, and she moaned as she sank into a chair.
“I’m so hungry,” she said.
Her dad chuckled as he came up behind her and kissed the top of her head. “Sorry, you know the rule.”
She let out an exaggerated sigh. “No food until after.”
“How are you feeling otherwise?” her mom asked as she handed her dad a coffee. She picked up Lila’s bag, pulling it over one shoulder.
Looking at her hands, Lila said, “Nervous.”
Her dad sat his coffee down and squatted in front of her, covering her hands with one of his while the other tilted her chin up. Emotion filled his eyes as he gave her a sad smile. He nodded then pulled her into a hug. She fell against him, reveling in the comfort.
“We need to get on the road,” her mom whispered after a moment. She placed a hand on Lila’s shoulder. But as Lila stood, her mom hugged her just as hard.
They walked out to the car, with Lila’s arm looped through hers. When Lila saw Gavin and Mrs. Miller leaning against their car, she shook her head. “He’s so stubborn.”
Her mom chuckled and unlinked their elbows to put the bags in their own car. Lila moved into Mrs. Miller’s open arms, ignoring Gavin’s smirk.
“You two really don’t need to come,” Lila said, stepping back. “What about the Scoop?”
Mrs. Miller looked down for a second before meeting her eyes. “Actually, I’m not going. Gavin’s dropping me off on the way. Kaley’s good, but I’m still not comfortable leaving her to run the whole thing with Cass for the day. Not when it’s so busy. She told me to give you this, by the way.”
She pulled out a wrapped rectangle from the hood of the car behind her. Lila glanced at Gavin, but he just grinned at her. She tore off the paper as her parents joined them. Inside was a small yellow book with the words “remember who you are” sprawled across the front in swooping letters. Lila let out a half-sob, half-laughing gasp.
Flipping the cover over, her smile grew. A picture from the lake party greeted her. Everyone looked happily at the camera, except Gavin, who stared down at her tucked into his side. Photos from the past two weeks filled decorated page after decorated page. Pictures she’d taken, but also some she hadn’t.
The hair dying mess, her and Gavin in the pool, singing karaoke, and the two of them covered in paint. Her sitting with the baby goats. The group racing in the school halls and her with Kaley on the football field. All of it documented.
“How?” She glanced up at Gavin, knowing it was truly from him.
He shrugged. “I sent the pictures to Kaley last night after you fell asleep. We had the rest already put together. She dropped it off twenty minutes ago.”
Lila looked back down. The last photo was from the morning before. It showed her sitting on the cliff in the sun with her eyes closed and Gavin kissing the side of her head. Across from it was her list. Every item crossed off. She didn’t bother fighting the tears or wiping them away.
Handing the book to her mom, she quickly moved to Gavin, who held her close. Against her hair, he whispered, “I told you, I will help you remember. I’m not going anywhere.”
Gavin put the car in park and took a deep breath. He looked over to Lila, laced his fingers through hers, and brought her hand up to kiss it. “Ready?”
She nodded but stayed quiet. After dropping his mom off, Lila had switched cars to ride with him as they followed her parents to the hospital. The long ride was quiet. He’d turned on a playlist full of showtunes, Disney, and pop artists he could barely tolerate, but she didn’t even hum along to her favorites. She mostly sat looking out the window, wringing her hands together for a while. When he’d finally taken her hand to stop the fidgeting, she’d moved closer to lay her head on his shoulder without a word.
Her fear mirrored his own, but he was trying to hold it together. He’d break down once she went to the OR.
They got out of the car and walked hand in hand out of the parking garage with her parents. The hospital gleamed in the morning light streaming through the tall windows. In the waiting room, Lila sat between Gavin and her mom while her father paced before them. Soon, they were led to a room already prepared for her stay.
Lila changed into a hospital gown in the bathroom. Nurses came in to check her vitals and prepared to take her to the OR. Gavin stood by the window, trying to stay out of the way. The doctor came in to explain the procedure one more time to the Westons, but Gavin didn’t hear the words. He crossed his arms to hide his shaking hands. She was really having brain surgery. She might wake up later that afternoon and have no memory of him.
“All right, I will see you downstairs shortly.” The doctor left, followed shortly by the nurses.
An aide came in to take Lila, and Gavin finally looked up. She hugged her parents, both telling her everything would be fine yet again. They’d see her in a few hours no matter what. However, if she didn’t remember, they’d decided it would be best for Gavin not to visit right away. He would need to leave and wait for her to rest and heal up a little. They didn’t want to overwhelm her with new faces.
He took slow steps toward her, waiting for Robert to let go. When he did, Lila hesitated before turning. Her deep blue eyes met his, and Gavin’s heart twisted inside. He pulled her into a fierce hug, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. She held onto him, as if clinging on for life. They stood still—neither moving nor speaking.
“It’s time,” the aide said quietly.
Gavin glanced up at him and nodded before looking back to Lila. He tilted her face up, sliding his palm up to rest on her cheek. Standing on her toes, Lila brought her lips to his. He moved his other arm to her waist to lift her up against his chest.
It ended too soon. As he sat her back down, he brushed away her tears with his thumbs. He kissed her on the forehead before saying, “I love you, Lila.”
With a smile, she whispered, “I love you too.”
Then, she was lying on the bed, and the aide unlocked the wheels to push her away.
“I’ll se
e you soon,” Gavin said. “I promise.”
She nodded, waved to her parents, then left, taking all the oxygen from the room with her. The pressure on Gavin’s chest was too much. His vision blurred as he stared at the empty hall beyond the open doorway.
A hand came down on his shoulder, but he couldn’t move. The hand moved to the back of his neck as Robert said, “Breathe.”
Gavin’s breath shook with soft laughter. How many times had he said that to Lila throughout their lives? Even when they weren’t friends, he’d helped her through anxiety attacks more than once. He remembered seeing her walk from the guidance counselor’s office during lunch a few months back, pale as a ghost. She’d quickly left the cafeteria, and he followed out of instinct. She’d stopped in the hall with hands on her knees. He’d pulled her around a corner to a short, empty hallway, and they stood side by side with their backs against the wall as he reminded her to breathe.
He never knew what sparked it—they didn’t say anything else. He stayed with her until she calmed down, and when the bell rang, she walked away with a quiet thanks. Now, he wondered if it had been because of the surgery or something else.
As they moved to sit, a thought hit him. Lila had lied. “She got into Bennu, didn’t she?”
Mrs. Weston’s brow scrunched from her spot across from him but nodded. The room held a small couch with a pull-out mattress for them to stay with Lila. They sat there, Robert putting an arm around his wife’s shoulders, while Gavin took the single chair.
“She didn’t tell you?” Mrs. Weston said.
Gavin shook his head. “I was just thinking about a time I helped her through an attack at school. She never told me what was wrong. I just realized it probably had something to do with all this.”
“Yes, I remember her talking about that,” Robert said. “Although, she didn’t say who helped her.”
“I know she wants to take business classes for the Scoop, but it couldn’t have been easy giving up a lifelong dream.” Gavin raked a hand through his short hair. She’d gone through so much in such a short time. He hadn’t really thought about how drastic Lila’s life changed within six months. Less than a year, and her entire future altered.
