by Amy Briggs
After about two hours of talking about the must-do repairs, who was responsible for what, and a timeframe for closing the deal, which would be about a month in my estimation, everyone seemed pleased, and I packed up my things to go. I wanted to go back to my office and start getting the paperwork together, as well as call the appraiser to see if we could get an appointment. I was disappointed that Seth Jackson didn’t speak much, but he did smile at me every time I caught his glance.
We all left the gym at the same time, and as we said our good-byes in the parking lot and I secretly longed to hear Seth talk again, he extended his hand to me. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Vivian Deveraux. Until next time.” Then that sexy thing winked at me. He winked at me. Why is that so hot? Swoonworthy. One hundred percent.
Feeling my mouth drop open, I replied, “Nice to meet you too… Seth.” I collected myself and finished my good-byes to Matt and Isabel before I got in my car to crank the air conditioning on myself.
Whether it was him or the gym with its terrible ventilation system, I was overheating and needed to regain my composure. The rumors were true. Firefighters are hot, and that one was gonna be on my mind. I hoped I’d see him again, although I couldn’t imagine why or how that would happen.
That woman was too adorable for words. When she about got knocked over from the musty smell of that old gym and backed into me, I caught a whiff of her scent, and goddamn if she didn’t smell like a fresh fucking field of flowers blooming. I might have held on to her to “steady her” longer than I had to, but whatever, I’m still a guy who loves a beautiful woman. She was like a little bouncing sunshine.
I actually loved that she called me by my name, not my nickname. Hearing her say Seth made me wonder what it would be like to have her whisper it to me. Buttoned up all tight and conservative; she was sexy as hell. She’s not the kind of girl who hung out with guys like me, so I’d probably never see her again, except for her billboards, of course. Thinking of her billboards all over town, I let out a little chuckle in the back seat of Isabel’s car.
“What’s so funny, lover boy?” Isabel turned around from the passenger seat of her own car to give me a look over her sunglasses. She wore aviators, just like every cop, which I always found pretty funny too.
“Lover boy? Who? Me? Nothing’s funny at all, Detective.” I grinned at her. “Except maybe your typical cop glasses.”
“Ahhhh, go fuck yourself, Jax.” She started laughing. “You were laughing before that. So what’s funny, smartass? You liked my underage realtor, didn’t you?”
“She was very cute and is a very professional little thing. And she’s not underage. She’s twenty-five, you said so yourself.” I started thinking about her sexy little body and those pouty pink lips of hers causing a little twitch in my dick.
“Oh God. Seriously, Jax? You’re almost thirty-four. That makes her a little young for you, don’t you think?” Matt chimed in.
“Oh, you got a girlfriend now, and suddenly you’re the dating and sex police? I didn’t say more than two words to her, so everybody calm the fuck down.” I was getting defensive at that point. I was a perfect gentleman, so everyone needed to settle themselves. I didn’t date anyway. I occasionally brought a girl home for some fun, but that was about it, and it was my preference not to bring them home. In fact, I hadn’t been bringing anyone to my home in quite a while. If I did hook up with a girl, it was either super classy and somewhere sly in public, or I went to her house.
“Sorry, man, sorry. You’re right. And you can bang anyone you want,” Matt replied.
Suddenly, I was feeling a little put off and territorial about the bang comment about that beautiful woman; she was worth more than a bang for sure. “I’m not banging anyone at the moment, so let’s all just move on. Are you feeding me now after making me come with you? Why did you make me come with you?” I asked with some serious attitude. I don’t think they ever told me why they wanted me to accompany them; they simply insisted.
“Yes, we are feeding you. Since we all have the day off, is anyone opposed to lunch cocktails too?” Isabel asked. “I could certainly use one myself.”
“I’m in,” both Matt and I replied in unison.
“Thank God,” Matt added.
Shortly thereafter, my question about why they asked me to join them still unanswered, we pulled into one of our favorite local watering holes that had a nice patio, decent food, and of course, alcohol.
To no one’s surprise, I flirted shamelessly with the waitress, all the while thinking of Vivian. Even her name was stuffy. But I liked it. She was classy. I wondered what she did to loosen up. I wondered what her bedroom looked like. I envisioned pink everything and stuffed animals on the bed. Probably won at local fairs from her high school boyfriend. She wasn’t wearing any rings at all, so she wasn’t married. She probably had some conservative douche boyfriend who wore polo shirts and khakis with flip-flops.
As we sipped our drinks on the patio, we talked about this business venture they were getting into. I was curious what would make them want to invest all that money in a gym, but also why they were going into business together. Yea, they were a couple and all, but it wasn’t like they had been together for years and years; so I was intrigued at their thought process on this, and I figured I’d ask.
“So, let me ask you guys. Why a gym? And why together?”
“What do you mean?” Isabel asked.
“Well, I get that you’re looking for an investment or something, but that gym needs some serious work. And I’ve heard you mention that you want to turn out professional fighters. What’s that about?” I asked.
“Why not?” Isabel replied. “I love mixed martial arts, and I think that running a real bonafide training facility would be not only a great investment, but also a fantastic was to stay involved in the community through our eventual retirements.”
“Ok, I can see that. Why together? Don’t get me wrong, I love you two, I do. But I’m curious what would make you go into business together and tie all that money up together.” I didn’t want to offend them. I was honestly curious at the thought process behind it and they hadn’t been together for years or anything, so it seemed risky.
A thoughtful smile immediately spread across Matt’s face before he replied. “I’ll be honest with you, bro. I figured, why the hell not? At the end of the day it’s just money, but it seems like a really fun proposition to get into with my girl. Sharing a business, which is really more of a passion, is something we talked about doing. Neither of us wants kids, so they gym is going to be our baby.”
Shocked that he didn’t want kids and had decided at thirty-four that he wasn’t going to, I had to probe more. “Why no kids? I pegged you for a white picket fence at some point kinda guy.” I glanced in Isabel’s direction to gauge her take on this conversation.
Noticing my line of questioning was directed at her as well, she chimed in. “I can’t have kids, Jax. So it’s not on the table for us. And with our dangerous lifestyles, and our passion for it, this was the next step for us.. We were looking for something that would be fun to do together, that would grow with us.”
I certainly wasn’t expecting that answer, and I watched as Matt reached under the table to take her hand in comfort. “Shit, Isabel, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear.”
“I’m not upset, Jax. Nothing happened to me. I found out when I was a teenager I couldn’t have kids. It’s a weird genetic thing, and my body just wouldn’t carry a baby. I never got attached to the idea of having kids. Besides, we’re hoping that Brian and Jo have a shitload of them we can spoil and play with then send back.”
Brian was the fire department chief and also Matt’s brother, and his fiancée, Jo, worked with us as well. They were definitely the couple that would be having a basketball team worth of kids, and they were another couple we all loved being around. They’d both had a crush on each other since we were kids, but neither one of them did anything about it until we were all into
our thirties; and even then, they struggled making it work together for quite a while.
Now, if I were to describe what I thought true love was, it would be them. Most people didn’t see it, but I’m an observer. We all work together, and I’ve seen them steal glances and little smiles at each other. I’ve watched his hand linger on hers when they were passing something to each other, like a tool or a paper. They went out of their way to be professional at work and not act like a couple, and I don’t think most people would notice the things I’d seen. It was the stuff that turned cold hearts like mine a little bit softer every now and again.
Isabel and Matt laughed, causing me to smile and relax about my comment. I was afraid I’d hurt her feelings or struck a nerve in some way. The truth of the matter was that they had really become my best friends, and if it weren’t for them, there were a lot of days lately I might not have gotten out of my bed at all. They didn’t know what I was going through, but their friendship kept me going some days.
“Well, I’m still sorry. That was a dick thing for me to say. Honestly, I was just talking out of my ass. I’m excited for your little gym project, and I’ll be there helping you do whatever you need. And as for Brian and Jo, you think they’ll start having the rugrats soon?”
“I think they’ll start right away after the wedding. Brian could barely wait to get engaged, so I think he’s all about procreating the next generation of firefighters.” Matt chuckled. “After everything they’ve been through, I think that Brian wants Jo to stop working at the department too. That should be fun to watch.” We all knew that Jo would never quit working, especially not at the firehouse, it was all she ever knew. Her dad had been the chief before Brian, and when he died, Brian took over. She’d definitely haul her pregnant self around the station until it was go-time when that day came.
“How are the wedding plans coming? Does anyone know?” Isabel asked.
“All I know is that her and my mom are constantly on the phone talking about it, and all the liquor in Florida is probably not going to be enough of a supply for this shindig. Should probably call in a mutual aid cover for the station, because we’ll all be hammered and out of service.” Matt took a swig of his beer and sat back, looking relaxed.
Turning his attention back to me, he raised an eyebrow. “So, Jax, the Chief’s test is coming up. Are you going to take it?”
I felt the look of surprise wash over my face, causing me to hesitate. “Well, I hadn’t given it much thought. I was going to take the test, but I just assumed you were taking that job. Why do you ask?”
Matt took a deep breath, leaned forward and smiled again. “Nope.”
“Nope? What do you mean, nope?”
“I mean I don’t want it. I don’t want to be Deputy Chief. I don’t want to be Chief.”
I looked over at Isabel, who had a huge smirk on her face, like the Cheshire Cat. Turning back to Matt, I asked, “I thought that was your dream, dude. You know, your legacy or whatever.”
“It’s not. It’s Brian’s. I’m my own man, and I’m making my own path. My legacy is this gym, with Isabel. So, you know what that means, right?”
“No, what?” I was afraid he was going to say exactly what he said. The fear of failure and weakness, of not being good enough, started to simmer in my stomach.
“You’re going to be the next Deputy Chief.”
I can’t handle it. I can’t do it. I am not good enough for that job. I cannot be responsible for others in that capacity. Every negative thought I had about myself rose to the surface like a diver coming up for air.
After I finished all of the preliminary paperwork for the sale and set up the new appraisal and some inspections, I decided to reward myself with some retail therapy, so I called my best friend to meet me out. Jessica used to be my roommate, however when I got successful, I got my own place, because I could afford it; but we still hung out all the time. She had agreed to meet me at the mall before we were going to have dinner and drinks together.
“So, tell me about the sale today. I hear that the firefighters in this town are smoking hot. My neighbor had to call them, because her oven had caught fire like six months ago, and she said she would have burned the place to the ground if she had known they were so good-looking,” Jess took a sip of her wine.
Reminiscing of the afternoon I spent with them, well, of Seth really, I gave her a nod and a smile. “Jess, I can’t even begin to describe the hotness. And, by the way, two of the clients are a firefighter and his badass detective girlfriend. Seriously, they were like Superman and Superwoman or something. And they brought an even hotter friend along with them. His name was Seth… Jax.” I felt warmth spread over me, radiating in my core thinking about how hot he was.
“What the hell kind of a name is Seth… Jax?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh, his name is Seth. Seth Jackson. But his friends call him Jax. He told me I could call him Jax, but I like Seth. I’m not even kidding you; I practically drooled. It was all I could do to maintain my professionalism when I wanted to climb him like a tree. The owner of the gym called him Captain America, and seriously, he was. Million-dollar-toothpaste-commercial smile and everything.”
Choking on her wine in surprise and laughing hysterically, she stared at me. “You? You wanted to climb a man like a tree? He must be one hell of a specimen for that not so conservative little statement. Oh. My. God. Viv! Did you talk to him? Did you flirt? Give me details? Where can we find him?” she demanded in rapid fire.
Feeling myself blush at my own candor, I told her what little I knew about him and how I had nearly fallen back into him at the gym. “He’s like six foot four, has dark blond hair and hazel eyes. He looks like Thor from the movie, not even kidding you. He literally barely spoke to me. I think he may have said exactly ten words to me. He was beautiful, though,” I sighed.
“Oh my God, Viv, you’re smitten. I’ve never seen such a thing. I love it. Over a rugged working man in a uniform too. So, so hot. So, are you going to see him again?” She was almost too enthusiastic.
“I don’t think so. I mean, I can’t imagine why I would unless he comes with them to inspections or to closing. I don’t really have any other reason to see him.” Disappointment settled in, replacing the little fire that had ignited for him.
“Well, I think we should try to find a way for your paths to cross again,” Jess stated matter-of-factly.
“What on earth for? He wasn’t even into me.”
“I sincerely doubt that. Everyone is into you. You’re adorable. You’re tiny and blond and spunky, and you ooze an undercover sex appeal. You just haven’t let it loose since—“ She cut herself off and looked down at my fidgeting hands. I knew why. “I’m sorry Viv, I—“
“No, no, it’s ok. You’re right.” I glanced back up at her, letting out the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. She was referring to my brother’s suicide.
After my brother killed himself, I closed myself off from a lot of things; everything except my job and my parents, and of course my friendship with Jess. I needed her. She gave me time to grieve and was unconditionally supportive on good days and bad.
The worst part for me was that I still couldn’t believe that Michael had been suffering in silence for so long, and that none of us knew. I was devastated. He never asked for help. He was in so much pain that taking his own life was the choice he made to stop his suffering. I can’t even begin to imagine how horrible that must have felt, and my heart ached every day for him. I can say with certainty that the guilt of not being able to have helped, not being able to intervene, not showing that I was there for him, will haunt me until the end of days. A black cloud would always surround me.
As I tried to shake off that horrible darkness I learned to tuck away in the last year, I changed the subject to get us back to having fun, talking about men and fun.
“So what are your plans for the weekend?” I asked her.
“I have a date; a second date in fact.” She w
as beaming. She must have really liked this one. Jess was more of a love-them-and-leave-them kind of girl. She wasn’t going to settle for less than the perfect guy, and she felt like there was no point in a second date unless they had something to offer that might lead to more.
“Holy crap, seriously? I cannot believe it! Who is this unicorn?” I teased her.
“His name is Jeremy, and he is a veterinarian. I took Hector to the vet for a checkup last week, and I swear to God, I almost hoped he was sick so I could come back again. My vet retired, which I didn’t know, and Dr. Jeremy Shaw took over his practice.”
“That’s awesome. I presume Hector is okay?” Hector was the friendliest cat on earth. It didn’t matter who you were, if you went to Jess’ apartment, this guy would snuggle with you. He knew when you were sad too, and would spend extra snuggle time with you, which I certainly took advantage of on more than one occasion myself.
“Oh yeah, he’s great. Still a snuggle monster.” She giggled.
“So, anyway, I know you don’t ask guys out. So did he ask you out while he was giving Hector a checkup?” I thought that would be pretty ballsy for the new vet to do, but what do I know?
“Oh, no. I ran into him at the grocery store that night. We got to chatting in the parking lot, and before I knew it, my ice cream had melted because, ya know, it’s Florida, and anyway, he asked me out to dinner and to ice cream to make up for mine that melted.” She was blushing full on now. It was adorable. I loved this chick like my own sister. I couldn’t believe she met him at the grocery store too; they always say it’s a great place to meet men. In my experience that hasn’t been true, but I hadn’t been looking in a long time, either.
“Jessica May! That is so awesome. I’m so excited for you!” I held up my wine glass to toast her.
As she raised hers to toast me back, she of course had to throw in, “Now we need to find you someone, Viv. Seriously, it’s time to get back on the horse. You’ve been single for like two years. Let’s at least get you back in the game?”
