A difficult Man to Love

by Elizabeth Lennox

  Hayden glanced longingly at the cute, red roadster, then shook her head. “No!” she whispered and helped the guys move some of the plants. “Work. He didn’t want to stick around so…”

  “What’s wrong?”

  Hayden jerked, spinning around until she found Natalie. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be out on a date with…?” A moment later, an adorable explosion threw himself into her arms in the form of Natalie’s son, Alejandro.

  “He canceled,” she explained and stepped closer. “What’s wrong?”

  Hayden hugged Alejo, and put him down, handing him a small shovel so he could dig in the dirt. Standing up, she shook her head at her friend. “Nothing is wrong. I don’t know why you think something is wrong.”

  Natalie watched, fascinated by her friend’s frantic movements.

  “Is something wrong with Hayden?”

  Hayden looked up to find Arianna standing next to Natalie, both of them looking cool and composed. Natalie’s honey-blonde beauty a perfect contrast to Arianna’s raven hair and golden skin. “Nothing is wrong,” she asserted, standing up and wiping her hands on her jeans, forgetting that she was wearing gardening gloves. “Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

  Natalie and Arianna both stared at Hayden, who felt her cheeks grow warm with their regard. “Um…”

  Before Hayden could answer, Natalie turned to the new business manager. “I’m Natalie,” her friend introduced. “I make sure that Hayden eats, and she makes sure my landscaping doesn’t die a horrible, tragic, painful death.”

  “She’s a plant murderer,” Hayden chimed in, glaring at her friend for sticking her nose in. Even though, technically, Natalie wasn’t sticking her nose into anything. Didn’t matter. She was here. She was a convenient target and Hayden wasn’t feeling very fair at the moment.

  She didn’t care about being fair. She was hurt and aching and confused!

  “Talk to me, honey,” Natalie offered, taking Hayden’s hand and pulling her into a hug. “What happened between yesterday and today? The last time we talked, you seemed so optimistic.”

  Hayden burst into tears, holding her friend close. She wasn’t aware of Arianna disappearing into the house, but Natalie caught the signal from the new woman that she was going to make some tea. Arianna knew that Hayden preferred herbal tea and, in the grand scheme of things, the tea wouldn’t solve anything. But women around the world knew that making something to drink or to eat soothed the soul in some magical way. Cooking, serving, soothing, and drinking were all part of the feminine learned and innate habits.

  Natalie nodded, agreeing with the woman, even though she had no idea who she was. She seemed nice and was clearly concerned. Therefore, in Natalie’s mind, she was a good person.

  It occurred to her that she’d once thought of another man as a good person and had been painfully wrong about him too.

  The only good thing that had come from that mistake had been Alejandro.

  Well, those thoughts haunted her often enough during the long, dark hours every night. She needed to focus on Hayden now. And in a weird way, it was a relief to focus on someone else’s problems for a change.

  Besides, Hayden had been there for Natalie way too many times in the past. Hayden had seemed to show up at the most desperate of moments over the past several years. When Natalie had been at the brink of insanity while trying to care for her infant son, Hayden had shown up on Natalie’s doorstep with a smile, a box full of desperately needed donated clothes and diapers.

  Now it was Natalie’s turn to give back, to help her friend for all of the nights Natalie had cried out her sadness about a man who didn’t deserve her anguish.

  “Come on, Hayden. Tell me what happened.”

  Hayden sniffed, embarrassed that she’d lost control so completely. “Viktor,” she mumbled, pulling away and trying to pull herself together.

  “I thought things were going so well between the two of you. What happened in the last two days?”

  Hayden looked away, but her lip trembled. “He spent the night last night.”

  Natalie waited, but her friend didn’t continue. So, she nudged her with an elbow. “I thought that part of your relationship with the man was pretty good.” She chuckled. “At least, it seemed that way the last time I saw you after he left.”

  Hayden nodded. “Yes. He’s pretty good in that department.”

  “But?”

  Hayden didn’t want to admit it, but Natalie already knew so much about her life. What was one more failure? “He left this morning.”

  Silence. Hayden looked over at Natalie, but the other woman still looked confused.

  “He’s such a jerk!” she snapped, thinking it should be obvious.

  Natalie laughed, but everyone still left in the garden area stopped, turning to look at their employer. She looked around, and wrapped an arm around Hayden’s shoulders. “Come on. I think this conversation would be better discussed in private.”

  Hayden followed, not sure what she was going to tell her friend.

  As soon as she entered, Natalie pushed Hayden down into one of the shabby kitchen chairs. “Sit. Tell me what happened.”

  Hayden put her hands over her head, still trying to come to terms with her stupidity. “I’ve fallen in love with the man.”

  Arianna put a steaming cup of tea in front of her. “Isn’t that a good thing? Since you’re going to marry him and all, I mean.”

  Hayden wrapped her hands around the steaming mug, but didn’t take a sip. “I can’t marry him. And you don’t understand. I might be in love with him, but he has absolutely no affection for me. He treats me like…a concubine,” she spat out, disgusted with herself and with Viktor. “How can I feel so deeply for a man who…” she stared at the two women, one who had a child and the other who was a new employee. Shaking her head, she looked at the rising steam. “Never mind. You wouldn’t understand.”

  Natalie laughed. “You think I don’t understand what a bastard men can be? Look at my situation? I was almost married!”

  That brought Hayden’s eyes up to her friend. “I’m sorry?”

  Natalie nodded. “Yep. You don’t think I’d name my son Alejandro on a whim, do you? Nope! It’s a family name.” She snorted, crossing her arms over her chest. “Not that the father will ever know about his son. I’m not good enough for that family.”

  Both Hayden and Arianna scoffed. “Any man who rejects his son isn’t good enough to have him,” Arianna asserted.

  Natalie’s lips pressed together with that announcement. Looking at Hayden, she shrugged slightly. “I think we should focus more on Hayden’s problem. Mine is a continuous mess!”

  Arianna put a hand on Natalie’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she murmured softly.

  Natalie shrugged. “It’s okay. But thank you.” And in that moment, they bonded. There was a kinship among women in a crisis.

  Turning to Hayden, they both waited.

  “I slept with Viktor,” she admitted.

  Arianna and Natalie didn’t even blink. They stood there, continuing to wait.

  Hayden shook her head. “Aren’t you going to say something?”

  Arianna’s hand came up to cover her smile. Natalie chuckled, but both women took their cups and sat down across from their friend. “Um…honey, it’s pretty obvious that you’ve slept with Viktor. But…what’s the problem?”

  Arianna leaned forward. “He terrifies me, but I’m glad that you’re happy with him. I only work for him, but rumors around the office are that he’s a fair man. Just don’t cross him.”

  Hayden sighed, then stood up and began pacing across the tiny kitchen floor. “You don’t understand. We’ve…” she hesitated, not sure how to explain things. “Well, we’ve slept together, but then he leaves me in the morning.”

  “So tell him not to do that,” Natalie chimed in as if that were the most obvious answer.

  Hayden rubbed her forehead. “I…um…sort of did that,” she admitted, her cheeks
turning pink. “I went to his office earlier this week and started yelling at him, telling him that he was a jerk, that I wasn’t marrying him, blah blah blah, and…well, things sort of…happened.”

  Natalie chuckled. “Oh, obviously something delicious happened. Do tell!”

  Hayden resumed her pacing. “Well, he…um…well,” she smiled as she looked out her kitchen window, thinking back to that afternoon. “He likes it when I stand up to him.”

  Arianna chuckled, covering her mouth with her hand. “Do not tell me that he made love to you in his office!” she demanded.

  Hayden’s head swiveled around as she stared at the woman for a long moment, then shrugged one shoulder slightly.

  Both women clapped their hands in delight. “Oh, this is perfect!”

  Hayden was becoming angry at their reactions. “I’m not sure I see the perfection in this situation. Please explain, ladies.”

  Natalie stood up and hugged Hayden. “Don’t you see?” she laughed when Hayden only shook her head. “You’ve won! The man is smitten with you!”

  Hayden rolled her eyes and backed up, crossing her arms. “No. Actually, I think that’s the problem,” she said, her mind going through the last several days. “Viktor isn’t the emotional kind of man. He doesn’t…well, I don’t think he feels anything, much less love or even being smitten. I doubt that Viktor Chenko could ever fall in love.”

  Arianna’s gentle smile softened her next question. “No, but you’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

  Hayden thought about that for a long moment, hating that her heart immediately shouted, “Yes” while her brain, the logical part of her that told her that there was no way she could feel that strongly for a man she barely knew screamed “No!”

  “Absolutely not!” she asserted firmly, her eyes darting to the floor, unable to look at either Natalie or Arianna. The only good thing at the moment was that Kate wasn’t here. That woman was tougher than gentle Natalie. Arianna was too new to their “group” and wouldn’t push too far. Taking a deep breath, she shook her head. “I’ve known the man for about a week! That definitely isn’t enough time to fall in love.”

  Natalie smiled gently. “It is when a woman is as tender hearted as you are, Hayden.”

  Hayden shook her head. “No. You’re wrong. I’m not in love with the man.” She started pacing again, back and forth to the sink, then to the doorway that led to the family room, then back again. The scowl on her delicate features told the whole story, but she muttered as she paced. “I see something in him, a vulnerability. That’s all.”

  Arianna chuckled. “There is nothing vulnerable in that man, Hayden.”

  “Oh, yes there is. He needs…” she hesitated. “Well, yesterday, I would have said that he needs me. But since he made love to me about…” she blushed and turned away, “a lot,” she finished off, “last night, but was gone in the morning, I think I’m just being foolish. He doesn’t need me. Not at all.” She sighed and looked out the window over the kitchen sink. “Maybe he just needs sex and I’m convenient. Someone who can’t say no.”

  Natalie walked up behind Hayden, putting a hand on her shoulders. “Hayden, we’re made differently than other women. Some can go through life having sex and just enjoying it. There’s nothing wrong with that. But for you and me, and,” she turned back to Arianna, “probably you as well, when we have sex, it’s more than just a physical release. We’re emotionally involved. So, you can tell me and Arianna that you’re not in love with Viktor, but don’t lie to yourself.” She squeezed her friend’s shoulders. “Think about all of the other men that have flirted with you.”

  Hayden snorted. “Men don’t flirt with me,” she denied.

  Natalie laughed. “Oh yes they do! You’re simply oblivious to their flirtations. Every man that enters your sphere tries to get your attention. But you don’t notice because you don’t care.”

  “I care!” she gasped, not wanting to seem heartless.

  Natalie sighed. “You care about their finances. You care about what they want to put in their gardens. You give them advice. Your belief in the goodness of everyone gives them more chances than they deserve on extended credit. But your heart isn’t involved in any way. You care for the people around you, but you don’t love them. You love me,” she teased. Turning to the other woman sitting at the kitchen table, she grinned and winked. “And I suspect you adopted Arianna because she needs the two of us.” And Arianna smiled right back, obviously warming to her inclusion as a friend. “But you’re in love with Viktor. Which is why you’re hurting so badly since you woke up to find that he’d disappeared.”

  “You told him how you felt, right?”

  Hayden thought back to that morning, the time when he’d…on the conference room table. “Yes. I told him.”

  Both women laughed at Hayden’s pained expression. “Okay, so he didn’t get the message. Why not show him then?”

  Hayden stared at her friends blankly. “What do you mean? How would I do that?”

  Arianna stood up. “I’m your employee now. So, I can help run things here.”

  She blinked at that announcement, still not sure what they were trying to figure out. “Why would you do that?”

  Natalie clapped her hands together. “Because you’re going to be busy doing other things.”

  Arianna nodded, completely on board with this plan. “Exactly. Between me and the guys that help out during the day, we can run things here at the garden center. Whenever we know that Viktor is going to show up, then you can just…be busy somewhere else!”

  “Exactly. Show him what it’s like to have an absent lover,” Natalie asserted.

  Hayden didn’t like that plan at all. It seemed…deceitful. “Isn’t that sort of playing mind games with him?”

  Natalie grinned, understanding Hayden’s hesitation. “When my students don’t understand a concept I’m trying to teach them in class,” Natalie began, “I can see it in their eyes. There’s a sort of blank stare.” She waited to see the understanding in both women’s eyes before proceeding. “So, when I see that stare, I don’t repeat the same instructions. I change it up. I do something different, explain the grammar rule in a different way.” She smiled when Hayden’s eyes brightened. “This is what you need to do with Viktor.”

  Hayden was starting to understand. And even agree! “So, you think I should just…be unavailable when he comes around? Show him what it’s like when he leaves me?”

  “Yes!” both women stated firmly. “But when he asks, explain why,” Natalie added.

  “Exactly,” Arianna agreed. “Don’t beat around the bush. You’re right. Mind games are juvenile. But showing him how frustrating it is to wake up and for him to be gone, leaving you alone and hurting, is a good thing.”

  She blinked, trying to wrap her mind around the plan. “But he wanted to be married soon.”

  Arianna smiled. “Hayden, I’ve only known you for a few days, but in that time, I’ve seen a sweet, compassionate woman who only wants to add beauty to the world. And as far as Viktor goes, you don’t see the ogre that others see. To his competition, that man is a marauding monster, out to defeat anyone who gets in his way. To his employees, he demands a high level of success. He’s not mean about it, but he won’t allow incompetence or laziness. He’s tough, and unyielding, when he goes after something, he is determined and forceful. But when you look at him, you see something different. You see a man who is hurting, someone who is calling out to you. So, you want to help him because you love him.” She stood up, abandoning her tea as she rounded the table. “But what do you want? Do you really want a rushed marriage? Do you want all the extravagant details?” She paused, looking into Hayden’s eyes. “Or do you want a quiet ceremony with just a few friends?”

  “That’s exactly what she wants,” Natalie replied, smiling widely.

  Hayden sighed, rubbing her forehead. “You’re right. I’m not very good at this whole romantic relationship thing. But I do see something different in
Viktor.” She worried that she was missing something, that she was only seeing what she wanted to see and not the reality. “I’m too trusting. That’s why my garden center is bleeding money.” She felt defeated, not sure if she could pull this off. “So what if I’m only seeing in Viktor what I want to see? Others have fooled me. Harry has loads of money but he used me, lied to me. What if Viktor is doing the same thing?”

  Natalie stepped in. “You have a good heart, honey. What do you think?”

  Arianna touched Hayden’s shoulder. “You’re not weak, Hayden. You’re kind. You see the wounded parts in all of us.”

  Natalie nodded. “And you are trusting. You grew up with parents that taught you that honesty is paramount. The rest of the world doesn’t always play by those rules.”

  “So, I should learn to be more dishonest?”

  Arianna laughed, shaking her head. “No. Don’t change anything. That’s why you hired me. I’m going to be the tough one for you. I worked last night on a new credit plan for your center. Notices are being e-mailed to all vendors as of,” she looked down at her watch, “ten minutes ago. The new terms are fair, allowing vendors who work with construction companies to purchase your plants, but they pay on a schedule if they have good payback histories. If they don’t have those histories, then they must pay for the plants up front. No credit for vendors who have abused your trust.” She paused, letting the news sink in. “There is no lying involved. Everything is up front and laid down neatly in easy to understand terms. I’ve even established the rules which will determine who has good payment histories and who doesn’t, classified each of the companies that have worked with you in the past, and…”

  “Wow!” Both Natalie and Hayden said at the same time.

  Arianna chuckled. “My point is, you don’t have to lie. Dishonesty doesn’t help anyone. The way you live your life is good. Just…” she shrugged again. “Show Viktor how you feel when he treats you in a certain way.”

  Natalie nodded, agreeing. “You’ve explained verbally how you feel. Now show him in a different way. Be creative, but be honest.”