Megan rolled her eyes at me. “Believe what you want to believe,” she said, “but you don’t see how he’s been watching you. You’ve been walking around in a daze.”
“I’m afraid to sleep,” I said.
“I’m afraid you wanna go sleeping with the fishes!” she said, and I laughed in spite of the seriousness of the situation. Megan’s cynical outlook on life was like a tonic, showing me there was simply no point in wallowing in self-pity. I needed to play the hand I was dealt.
Megan drove me home, making me promise to barricade myself into my room carefully. We made plans to hang out on Saturday and she made me laugh again, teasing me about sleepwalking down the street in my underwear.
“I’ve been sleeping in my clothes all week!” I complained.
“Dang Marina, I thought me and Cruz were the weirdos!”
“Step aside, there’s a new freak in town,” I laughed.
“Don’t worry,” she said, leaning over to give me a hug, “We’ll figure something out.” I turned to leave with a grateful smile, “Thanks.”
“Marina –” she called after me, “I don’t think you should meet with her alone either.” I slept on and off through the night and partway into the day on Saturday, waking up to see the sun streaming through the open curtains. I remembered a happy dream about surfing with Ethan, laughing and tumbling in the salty sea. I had to pull the desk away from the door to leave my room, but I noticed the chair had been knocked over on the floor, making me queasy.
When I groggily stumbled into the kitchen I looked out the window to see Ethan’s truck pull away. He had been here working in the garden while I slept, and the thought made me sad again.
Abby came humming into the kitchen, “What do you have planned for today?” she asked.
“Megan’s coming over,” I said, “We’re gonna watch some movies and hang out.”
“Okey Dokey!” she said. I suppressed a laugh. She was practically levitating with happiness and it was unusual, even for Abby.
Suspicious, I asked, “What do you have planned for today?” She tried to keep it in, but it was impossible for Abby to be circumspect.
“I’m going out on Dutch’s boat for the day,” she beamed.
I smiled, glad for her, “Have fun!”
She skipped out of the room to say goodbye to Cruz.
Megan came over that afternoon with an armload of movies and junk food. “Therapy!” she said, waving a stack of chick flicks at me.
“I’ll make the popcorn,” I said, and we settled down for a lazy afternoon on the couch. Cruz flitted in and out, spending most of the day at his work bench. He was doing some intricate cut lace appliques for Evie’s gown, growing increasingly agitated as he second guessed his every choice. The work was time consuming but beautiful, and I assured him the dress would be right up Evie’s alley. Megan and I coaxed Cruz out for a break every few hours, and before I knew it the sun began to set.
Day passed into night and we ordered a pizza for dinner, the three of us eating together and listening to Cruz complain about his temperamental sewing machine. Megan gathered up her stuff and went home, leaving Cruz and I waiting up for Abby.
“How do you feel about your mom dating Dutch?” I asked him.
Cruz shrugged, “Ethan’s dad always seemed like a good guy,” he said. “And I’m gonna be gone in another year. So I think it would be nice if she had a friend...”
“That’s very mature of you,” I said, casting him a sideways glance. He threw a pillow at me.
We were fully engaged in a vicious pillow fight when we heard the Volvo pull into the driveway.
We scrambled to pick up the mess and sit back down casually before Abby came in.
“How was your day?” I asked her cheerfully.
Abby was smiling from ear to ear. “Dutch and Ethan are coming over for Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday.” She strolled off to bed in a daze, “Can you guys lock up?” she called over her shoulder. Cruz and I exchanged a look and burst into laughter.
I rolled into bed that night, wondering what Ethan thought about coming here. I wouldn’t be surprised if his dad showed up without him. I thought about what Megan had said about Ethan.
He looked more angry than hurt to me. I sighed and put it out of my mind. I didn’t have time to worry about next week, I thought, grunting as I moved the furniture in front of my door.
As Cruz had said, I had bigger fish to fry.
CHAPTER TWENTY
THANKSGIVING
The atmosphere at school changed on Monday. It was a short week for everyone, and the air was charged with anticipation of a long break from the routine. Most classes scheduled midterm exams before the fall break, and I tried to focus on my schoolwork despite the lack of sleep that was grinding me down to a nub. Shuffling around campus in a trance-like state, I found myself drifting away, escaping into daydreams about swimming and surfing.
Ethan returned to art class, but I usually stumbled in late and was able to avoid having to sit by him. I was hurt by the way he had so easily turned his back on me, and all the friendliness and affection between us had vaporized. I focused the energy I had left on making it through until Wednesday, planning on trying to sleep during the day over the break. Mr. Briggs kept casting worried looks my way.
Tuesday night I woke up in the middle of moving the desk away from the door, which terrified me. Frantic, I sat up with the lights on until dawn, afraid to lie back down. I could sense that the barricade wasn’t going to work much longer. Forces pulled at me from the depths of the sea. Something powerful was taking control of my dreams.
It felt as though I was becoming a zombie, numbly wandering the halls with a growing sense of detachment. I was so tired I barely noticed Ethan follow me into art class. He slid into the seat next to me, and his leg kept brushing against mine. I felt like he was playing a cruel game, and I moved my chair as far away as I could in a fog of confusion and sadness. I couldn’t deal with one more thing. There was an art history slide show on our last day, and I fell asleep at my desk, overcome by exhaustion.
I was being pulled underwater, looking up to see the bottom of a boat grow smaller and smaller until it disappeared. I was crying, filled with unbearable sorrow, and it occurred to me that the whole ocean was made up of salty tears.
I woke up with Ethan’s hand on my shoulder, gently shaking me awake. The classroom had emptied out, and Mr. Briggs was shuffling papers at his desk. I bolted up, wiping my wet cheeks, and blindly groped for my purse.
“Are you alright?” Ethan asked, a panicked sound in his voice.
“I’m fine,” I said curtly, avoiding eye contact and rising to go.
“Have a nice Thanksgiving break,” Mr. Briggs called out as I passed his desk.
“Thanks, you too,” I said, looking down as I hurried by.
“And get some sleep!” he called after me.
Ethan chased me out to the parking lot, trying to get my attention, “Marina –” I sped up, pretending I didn’t hear, hoping he’d leave me alone.
He came up alongside me, “Marina?” his tone was softer.
I slowly turned, looking up at him suspiciously, “What?” I asked coldly.
“Please, I want to talk...” he said.
“This isn’t a good time,” I shook my head, overcome with fatigue.
“I’m worried about you,” he said, searching my eyes.
I was running out of the ability to resist, “Talk,” I said, trying not to come unraveled on the spot, only sheer stubbornness keeping me from breaking down into a sobbing heap.
“Let me drive you home,” he said, a pleading look in his blue eyes. I couldn’t look away. I felt weak, ashamed for being such a pushover. I reached into my purse for my keys.
“Fine,” I said almost inaudibly, “Can you give these to Cruz?” I was in no mood to explain anything to anybody.
Ethan jogged over to Cruz as I walked to his truck. He raced back, beating me to the door and opening it, watching as I
climbed in.
He slid in behind the wheel, “Can we please go somewhere to talk?” he asked with hopeful eyes.
I looked down, not sure I wanted to deal with what he had to say, “I guess.” He took me to a park in the woods, far away from the seashore. We drove down a rutted gravel road, deeper and deeper into the trees. It was cool and dark under the towering redwoods and I thought about the depths of the ocean. The air was scented with bay leaves, moss and plants growing in moist soil. The damp woodsy smell brought me back to reality, and my head began to clear a little bit.
He parked the truck and turned to me, “Can we go for a walk?” he asked.
I followed him down a narrow path that led to a small stream, wondering what he was up to.
There were some boulders along the water’s edge and Ethan sat down on one, looking up at me frankly.
“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely, “I’ve been a jerk. I’m sorry I got so upset. Would you please sit down?” he gestured to a spot next to him. I pointedly sat on a rock further away from him, looking down into the clear flowing water.
“Marina, I just can’t handle dishonesty. I probably... overreact.” I squeezed my eyes shut, “I didn’t mean to... you don’t understand how much... how hard it’s been,” I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked over at him with tired eyes, fighting back tears.
“Why?” he asked, “Why don’t you trust me?”
“I do trust you. I didn’t intend to lie.” I looked down, “Things changed...”
“How?” he asked.
I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He was just going to tell me what to do. He would tell me to stay away from them, when I knew that was no longer an option.
I stood up, “Can you please take me home now?” I asked, too weary to argue about it.
He looked upset, “What’s happening?”
I heaved an exhausted sigh, “I can’t sleep anymore. I’ve been... having weird dreams. I think I’m being forced to... I just don’t know!” A tear escaped from my eye and I wiped it away angrily. It was easier to be angry.
He got up and came over to stand next to me, “I want to help,” he said.
I shook my head no, “There’s nothing you can do. I can’t help it. I can’t stop it. I feel like I’m going crazy.”
He moved closer, and then gingerly put his arms around me, “I feel exactly the same way about you,” he said.
I tensed, holding my breath for a few seconds, and finally exhaled, letting go, leaning onto him and giving in to the sensation. He pulled me close into him and we stood like that for a few long minutes. I closed my eyes and sighed with relief, letting him hold me up against his warm chest. I hadn’t relaxed for so long it was a strange feeling, but touching him soothed me like nothing I’d ever known.
His voice rumbled in my ear, “I talked with Lue Khang at the market on Sunday. He said I was lucky to know you. He said you had the heart of a lion– that all you wanted to do was protect me.”
“They’re not after you,” I mumbled.
“But they’re after you?” he asked.
“No,” I said automatically, “I mean... I don’t know.”
I realized Megan was right. My first impulse was always to keep things to myself. I never wanted to trouble my father with problems, so I just dealt with anything that came up on my own. With Evie I had no problems, for she possessed the preternatural ability to anticipate my every need and heal every hurt. I suddenly missed her acutely.
He paused for a moment, “It’s stupid really, I’ve been trying to stay away from you because I’m afraid of getting too... involved. I can’t stop thinking about how you’re just gonna move away next summer anyway. I’ve been feeling terrible all week.”
“Me too,” I said quietly.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice vibrating along my spine. He pulled back my hair and laid his cheek against mine, “I just need to be as brave as you are.”
“I’m so tired. I don’t think I can take much more.” I was thinking about the sleepwalking.
“I’m sorry...” He pressed his lips against my neck. My heart started racing and I was having a hard time catching my breath. I pulled away abruptly, afraid to look him in the eye, afraid of losing control. “I better get you home,” he said.
We arrived at the house to find Cruz and Megan sitting on the porch.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, leaning over to kiss my cheek. Cruz stood up, watching Ethan pull away.
“What was that all about?” he asked, bemused, “He looked so serious– we thought you were being kidnapped!”
“Nothing,” I said gravely, “He just wanted to tell me how much he was looking forward to tofu turkey.”
Cruz laughed so suddenly he choked. I turned to Megan, “Will you be joining us?”
“No, me and my mom are going to my aunt’s in San Jose.” She sighed wistfully, “There won’t be any tofu, but we’ll just have to get by...”
“Shut up!” Cruz said, his eyes watering. Megan had to leave, so I walked her out to her car.
“You look better,” she said knowingly, “What did he say?” I pressed my lips together, “You were right. He apologized.” Megan smiled victoriously, “Have a happy Thanksgiving! And avoid the murderous mermaids, okay?”
“I’ll do my best,” I said, smiling wanly.
I ventured in the kitchen where I was met by the sight of Abby cooking up a storm. I offered to help but she pushed me out, saying she had everything under control. I arranged to pick up a veggie pizza for dinner and she smiled gratefully.
“Does Dutch know that there won’t be any turkey?” I asked wryly.
“Yes,” she said with mock exasperation, “He said he likes the side dishes best anyway. Now scoot!”
That night I was actually able to sleep a little, and I wondered if it was because of my contact with Ethan. I only started awake once, finding myself standing at the window in the moonlight with my hands on the sill. I locked it, wedging a stick in the frame to keep it from opening. I wondered if I’d be able to climb out of it without waking myself up.
On Thanksgiving morning I helped Abby clean up the house and set the table. Dutch and Ethan showed up a little early, bearing flowers. I got them both something to drink and sat them down on the couch, putting a football game on. Abby bustled around in the kitchen, arranging the bouquet in a vase and nervously fussing with her veggie gravy.
I excused myself and went to go see what Cruz was up to. I knocked on his door and peeked in, finding him hunched over his sewing machine as usual. He was working on a confection of a dress.
“Cruz! It’s fabulous!” I admired it as he held it up for me. The bodice and skirt were a deep garnet satin, with a wide neckline and lace half sleeves. An overlay of golden blonde lace had been hand applied along the hemline, and it was draped beautifully. It had the look of expensive handmade couture, and it was definitely something Evie would wear and look beautiful in.
“Do you really think she’ll love it?” he asked hopefully. “Can we take it up to her this weekend?” I told Cruz that Evie was visiting friends in New York for Thanksgiving, but I thought she was coming back on Sunday.
“I’ll call and find out when we can go,” I promised, “Now we should get out there and be good hosts!”
Cruz groaned, “Ugh! Football! Give me five minutes.”
I went out to sit with Ethan and his dad. It wasn’t nearly as awkward as I thought it would be. Dutch teased me about my barbering skills and we all shared a laugh about how some of the surfer dudes went out and got the same haircut.
“You know what they say about the sincerest form of flattery!” Dutch chuckled.
Cruz finally pried himself away from his workbench to join us. I told Ethan about the dress Evie had commissioned from him.
“We might go up to the city for a fitting this week,” I said.
“Will you be coming back with a new car?” Ethan teased me. Cruz knew a lot about luxury cars and
started describing Evie’s garage in detail. The guys listened with interest. I was happy they found some common ground, even if it bored me to tears. Abby called us in to eat, and we all gathered around the table.
The food was pretty good, although the tofu turkey remained largely untouched. Abby and Dutch were completely focused on each other, and as smitten as he was, I’m sure Dutch would have eaten anything she put in front of him. Even Cruz was well behaved, refraining from any of his usual vegan jokes.
Dutch asked Abby if she’d like to come out on his boat with him the next night. The harbor hosted a lighted boat parade to kick off the holiday season and Abby said she’d always wanted to see it. Ethan caught my eye and smiled. After dinner, Abby and Dutch settled down on the couch with a glass of wine while the rest of us cleaned up.
The three of us sat at the table, and Cruz told us how he had contacted the attorney for his father’s estate. He’d been left a considerable sum, almost enough to cover his entire design school tuition. He discovered that he had two older sisters in Argentina, and they were interested in meeting him.
“They want me to come for a visit,” he said, “I better study harder in Spanish class!”
“That’s great Cruz!” I patted his hand, “I knew everything would work out alright.”
“Things have been looking up ever since you moved here,” he replied, getting up and squeezing my shoulders, “I need to go work on that dress.” Cruz went back to his sewing, leaving me and Ethan sitting awkwardly in the kitchen, not wanting to intrude on the happy couple in the other room.
“Do you want to take a walk down to the beach?” I asked.
“OK, but no swimming,” he said teasingly.
We walked down the stairs slowly, and he reached over to take hold of my hand. He asked me if I wanted to come to see the lighted boat parade too, promising to avoid his dad and Abby.
“We can watch it from the docks,” he said. I agreed, and we planned to meet at his house at sunset.
I asked if he’d been out surfing since the accident, and he admitted that he’d snuck a few sessions in before he had the doctor’s permission. He was eager to get back into practice, and remembering how much fun it was made me miss it too. He told me about an upcoming competition he was planning to enter. Big waves came along with the winter storms, and he was hoping to collect some prize money to put towards the land he was buying from Lue.
Derrolyn Anderson - [Marinas Tales #1] - Between The Land And The Sea Page 22
