by Meara Platt
One kiss? He could manage that.
Wordlessly, he lowered his lips to hers. It was the only part of her he dared touch. Her lips. Tasting their softness. Pressing lightly. Crushing lightly. Licking his tongue along her full, lower lip.
Dipping his tongue into her slightly parted mouth.
But his arms betrayed him and somehow wrapped around her so she was swallowed in his embrace.
He knew it was a mistake.
Her skin felt soft. Silky. He unwound her braid and ran his hands through the lush mane that now fell to her hips. He drew her closer, hard up against him so he felt the softness of her chest against the hard planes of his body, and felt the rapid beat of her heart against his own steadily beating one. Merciful heaven. She felt so good.
She tasted of honey.
He lifted her up against him, loving the way her hair spilled over them in fiery waves. Loving how she clung to him, moved with him, wrapped her arms around him.
He struggled to maintain control. All would be lost if he ever gave in to the staggering desire he felt for this girl. He would never steal Goose’s innocence and walk away. If he bedded her, he would marry her.
It was as simple as that.
She was his to protect.
Lord, what was he doing to this precious girl?
He broke off the kiss with a ragged groan and stepped back.
Goose’s eyes were still closed. One of the sleeves of her nightrail had slipped off her shoulder, exposing her creamy skin. He reached out, meaning to nudge the fabric back in place, but her skin was warm to the touch, and he couldn’t seem to stop touching her. He found himself tugging it lower instead. It caught for a moment on the taut peak of her breast.
She inhaled sharply.
“Goose–”
“Don’t stop,” she said with a sultry moan that shattered the last of his resistance.
He drew the thin linen down to expose one soft breast. “Lord, you’re beautiful.” He cupped the lush mound, gently kneading and running his thumb across its rosy tip. “So beautiful.”
He bent his head to taste her, suckling and swirling his tongue across the taut bud. Then his hands were all over her, cupping her breasts, cupping her buttocks to draw her up against him, sliding his hands along her supple body, and touching where he’d sworn never to touch.
What was he doing?
This had gone beyond a harmless kiss. His body was a powder keg of torment. Lord, help him! In her innocence, she had no understanding of what to do or what came next. He had only to slide his fingers between her thighs and show her.
So he did.
And watched as she gave herself over to this new pleasure, watched as she arched her back and tipped her head, and licked her lips. She moaned and purred like a kitten as she surrendered to him. “Beast?” Her breaths were short and rapid as she approached a peak she’d never reached before. “What is this magic?”
“You’re the magic.” He took the bud of her breast in his mouth and suckled it, losing himself in her heat and the womanly scent of arousal.
She was so close to her release now.
He dared not stop.
He’d taken her too far.
And then she emitted a soft gasping heave and clung to him as the powerful crest of her desire flooded her senses, enveloping her in one hot pounding wave after another.
He felt her response against his fingers.
“Sweet heaven,” he murmured, drawing her tightly into his arms as she began to calm. He held her against his own pounding heart. He stroked her hair and kissed her softly on the lips when she looked up at him in wonder.
He held her and soothed her until she no longer trembled against him.
His own hands were now shaking from the force of his unsatisfied desire as he helped her put her nightrail back in order. He brushed back her hair, but made no attempt to help her braid it. Those glorious curls were in too much of a wild disarray. “I’m sorry, Goose. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not to you.”
Her eyes were once more glistening. Dear heaven! Had he hurt her? No, she was smiling at him. “Oh, Beast. I’m glad it happened. Don’t berate yourself. I encouraged you, didn’t I?”
He glanced away and cursed softly. “I knew better.”
“You stopped before any serious harm was done. I would not have let you go much farther.”
His eyes widened in horror. “Not much… I would have been inside you next. There was no place else left to go. When would you have stopped me? After I’d ruined you?”
It wasn’t a question he expected her to answer.
In his eyes, he’d already ruined her. That he had not spilled his seed inside of her, that there was no chance of her carrying his child, signified nothing.
She was no casual dalliance.
“I would not have allowed you to take the nightgown fully off me. For your sake, not mine,” she said, casting him a wry grin. “I know you, Beast. You would have felt honor bound to marry me if all my clothes had come off.”
The breath rushed out of him. “What makes you think I don’t feel honor bound right now?” And why was he feeling the sudden urge to propose to this innocent? “Would you marry me if I asked you?”
She frowned at him. “Put it out of your mind at once. I will only marry for love. Not for pity. Not for convenience. I expect marriage to me would be most inconvenient for you. You need to think about proposing to someone important.”
“Are you turning me down?” His body was on fire and lust was clouding his mind. Why else would he be peeved that she was refusing an offer he hadn’t made? Or had he just asked her? Bollocks, he must have had more to drink than he realized.
Was he foxed?
He did not think so.
She sighed and shook her head. “Calm down, Beast. You haven’t asked me. Nor do I want you to ask me while you are drunk.”
“I’m not drunk.”
“Fine, but I’d hardly call you sober. Nor are you in love with me, so let’s stop this conversation right now.” She placed her hand on his arm. “I’m glad you kissed me. It was magical. I’m glad you did more than kiss me. That was magical, too.”
He arched an eyebrow and frowned. “I took advantage of you.”
“Yes, and I did the same to you.”
“Where does that leave us, Goose?”
“I don’t know. In a nice place, I hope.”
“A nice place?” He wanted to shake sense into the girl. “I behaved just like the mindless, thoughtless, low brain functioning specimens described in your damn book. You’re not some convenient urn for my seed.”
“Why are you so overset when I’m not?”
“You should be.”
“Perhaps I will be in the morning, but I doubt it.” She glanced up at the moon. “You had better go before I embarrass myself and beg you to stay.”
He swung his legs over the railing. “This discussion isn’t over.”
He did not wait for her response before he descended the trellis onto solid ground. He needed solitude to think seriously about the girl who seemed capable of addling his senses at will. “We’ll resume our chat in the morning.”
She gave a placating nod. “Goodnight, Beast. Thank you for this evening. All of it.”
He cursed softly and resumed his walk in the garden, refusing to look back for fear Goose was still watching him.
What was he to do about the girl?
He knew what he wanted to do… marry her.
He knew what he had to do… marry her.
Now all that was left was to convince Goose of it.
He strode indoors, secured the latch that had been left open for him, and then went to Nathaniel’s study to pour himself another brandy before retiring. She’d accused him of being inebriated.
He wasn’t.
But he fully intended to get fog-riddled, ass-faced drunk now.
He drained the glass he’d just poured for himself and then poured himself another. He needed to numb himself, to c
alm the fiery tumult raging in his body. He wasn’t used to feeling out of control. Lord, it would have taken nothing for that last thread of restraint to snap. He had only to unbutton his trousers and plunge himself into Goose.
She wouldn’t have stopped him.
She wouldn’t have wanted him to stop.
That was the worst part. He’d almost irreparably hurt the very girl he’d meant to protect.
He sighed. Matters were moving too fast for his liking. He wasn’t meant to become prime minister, he’d always known it. He’d basked in the glory for a few days, but the decision to keep out of politics was an easy one to make. The more troublesome decision was about this ginger-haired girl.
She was not the sort of girl he would normally have chased. Until Goose, his taste ran to sophisticated, cool beauties who had no expectations of marrying for love, were easily bought off with trinkets, some of them expensive, but none of them meaningful, and therefore had little effect on his heart.
But he’d crossed a line tonight, wanting her with a carnal heat that could not be dismissed or denied. Tonight, he’d wanted to marry her. Was it a passing fascination or something that would endure? He’d never been in love before and wasn’t certain how one felt when in that state.
He drained his glass, feeling the smooth burn of the amber liquid as it slid down his throat. “Tomorrow,” he muttered, setting down the empty glass before making his way to his chamber. The only sound to be heard was of the steps creaking under his weight as he climbed them.
A light breeze surrounded him as he entered his bedchamber. Nathaniel’s valet had left his window open to allow in the cool night air. He undressed in the darkness and stretched out naked on his bed.
He closed his eyes and allowed the quiet to surround him.
It was a peaceful quiet, very different from the tense silence before a battle. He hadn’t grown used to this sense of peace yet. After all those years of battle, nights were not restful for him.
Nor was he used to the scent of peace, of meadow grass and refreshing country air spilling into his chamber. It was a sweet scent, unlike that of gunpowder. Unlike that of death or infected wounds or rotting food.
He was still trying to adjust to this new life at home… or rather, the resumption of an old life he hardly remembered. Their meal this evening had been delicious and elegant. The house had sparkled and so had the women, their gowns and fine jewels shimmering in the glow of candlelight. The entertainment had been light and merry, the carefree sensation quite odd after years of warfare and constant danger.
He wasn’t yet comfortable in this tranquil life.
But this would be his daily routine from now on, work in the mornings. Balls, dinner parties, and theater in the evenings. Undisturbed sleep… at least, until the next war broke out. It would, inevitably, for this was the way of men.
He might be considered too old to serve on the front lines by then.
He shrugged off these wandering thoughts.
His life was his own now. He could make of it whatever he wished. He had meant to enjoy himself, indulge in idle pleasures, including wanton pleasures of the flesh. Women were throwing themselves at him.
Settling on one woman had never been under consideration.
Goose had now set his plans awry.
He wanted only her.
Was it because he loved her?
He understood the need to protect her. He understood the sexual urges she aroused in him. It had nothing to do with the tricks she thought she was using out of The Book of Love that she toted around everywhere she went.
Although she’d read much of that book to him, these deeper feelings were still strange to him. He did not understand love yet, but knew he had to come around to accepting it because Goose would not have him unless he loved her.
How could he convince her when he wasn’t certain of his feelings himself?
No, that wasn’t quite right.
He opened his eyes and gazed into the empty darkness. He’d returned to England with an emptiness in his heart that Goose, by her mere presence, seemed to fill.
Was this love?
It had better be.
He was going to marry her.
She was not going to talk him out of it.
Chapter Fourteen
“Where’s Goose?” Beast asked, striding into the dining room in time for breakfast the following morning and immediately noticing her absence. He’d taken his usual morning ride with Nathaniel and Thad, needing to clear his head that was still clogged with thoughts of the girl.
Being sober hadn’t helped.
Perhaps seeing her now that he was no longer staggering and blurry-eyed would clear away his confusion. But where was she?
Lavinia and Matilda grinned at him.
He glanced around the table. Poppy was blushing and had a sweet smile on her face. Penelope was smirking at him. Even Thad and Nathaniel were eyeing him oddly. Good grief! Had Goose told them about last night?
Pip finally spoke up. “She walked to Gosling Hall.”
“She’ll be back soon,” Penelope assured him. “We won’t leave for church for another hour yet. She wanted to see it one last time before we all returned to London.”
He frowned at Nathaniel. “And you let her go alone?”
Nathaniel and Thad both set down their napkins and rose. “We didn’t know,” Nathaniel said. “How could we when we were out riding with you and have only just sat down ourselves.” He turned to Penelope. “Why didn’t you go with her?”
“She refused our company,” Poppy said.
“We wanted to, but she asked us not to follow her,” Penelope added, now nibbling her lip and frowning as well. “She’s been crossing the meadow between our homes for years without incident. Beast, why are you scowling? Do you think she’s in any danger?”
“No,” he admitted, but he still did not like that she was on her own. “I suppose knowing we’re about to return her to her guardian has me on edge.”
Matilda set down her teacup. “My boy, it has us all on edge. Lord Gosling sounds detestable.”
Not to mention he was likely a thief, but Beast wasn’t going to level the accusation until he had solid proof. “I’ll go find her.”
He strode out before anyone could offer to come along with him. In truth, it was better to meet Goose alone, for she was never one to hide her feelings. She was utterly dreadful at hiding them. Had she been at the table when he’d walked into the dining room, everyone would have known something had happened between them last night… and not just that dance.
Several deer were grazing in the meadow but leapt back into the woods as he marched toward Gosling Hall. The house was surrounded in an eerie mist as he approached. It was not unusual for this time of the morning, but since the mist had already lifted everywhere else, the fact that it seemed to linger around Gosling Hall set him on edge.
His heart began to pound. “Goose,” he bellowed, not liking that the front door had been left open. He entered and began stalking through the halls. “Goose! Where are you?”
He heard light footsteps upstairs and then she appeared on the landing. “I’m right here. I was in my old bedchamber.”
He took the stairs three at a time, foolishly needing a closer look at her to make certain she was all right. “Why did you come here alone? Anything might have happened to you.”
She cast him an indulgent smile. “Lord Gosling won’t come here. He hasn’t thought of this place in the two years he’s been my guardian. Why would anything change now?”
“Because he’s worried that you’re about to find out the truth. That the place is yours. That perhaps much more was left to you than he ever let on. That he knows I will kill him for what he’s put you through.”
Her smile faded and her eyes widened in alarm. “The courts will take care of him if he’s done me an injustice. I will not have you murdering anyone on my behalf. But thank you for offering.”
He released his breath in frustration. “
Damn it, Goose. How do you feel this morning?”
“Splendid. And you?” Her eyes were clear and sparkling, and the dimples in her cheeks were on full display. Her hair was drawn back in a loose bun at the nape of her neck and her little ears stuck out.
She wore a white day gown with a dark blue pelisse over it.
He never noticed what women wore. He’d never cared beyond wondering how quickly he could slip the gown off his quarry’s body. It wouldn’t take him long to strip Goose out of her clothes. He ached to see her naked. She had the prettiest body.
“Beast, why are you frowning at me?”
Because, damn it. I want to marry you. “I’m not. I’m frowning at myself.”
“Are you still overset about what happened last night?” He tensed as she placed a hand on his arm. “Don’t be. It was wonderful, everything I hoped it would be. Don’t growl and say it was a mistake. How can something that makes me so happy be wrong?”
He growled anyway.
And said it was a mistake.
But it wasn’t.
He’d known it from the moment he’d seen that book drop on her head in the London bookshop. Wasn’t this the curse of the dukes of Hartford? Fall in love once and forever.
He was sober now.
He had his answer. He was a beast in love.
Yes, he loved this girl who looked beautiful even in the morning light. And in moonlight. Daylight. Overcast skies. It did not matter. “Goose, are you in love with me?”
She blushed. “I suppose you want the truth.”
“It would be appreciated.”
She shook her head. “I’d never lie to you. I suppose you know the answer already. Yes, I love you. Utterly and completely. You are every woman’s grail.”
“No, I don’t want to be that. I’m just a man with faults and virtues just as any other. What I want to know is whether you love me, or are you merely in love with the idea of the duke who is a war hero?”
She nodded. “You, Beast. I’ve always had feelings for you. But they are so powerful now, they scare me. Love is a daunting proposition, isn’t it? It muddles your head and jumbles your insides. I melt whenever I’m with you. I miss you whenever we’re apart. That’s why I cannot accept your offer to become your aunt’s companion. I couldn’t bear being close to you and knowing nothing would ever come of it.”
