Ava laughed at her mother’s outraged expression. “I really don’t see that happening. Logan and I are just friends.”
Even saying it made her depressed. She wasn’t sure it was enough anymore.
Carol Hayworth snorted in disgust. “I’d love to tell those two busy-bodies that my daughter had tamed the biggest man-whore in town.”
“Mother!” Ava exclaimed, appalled and amused at the same time. “Such language.”
Carol Hayworth laughed and picked up her handbag and car keys. “There was a time, Ava, before I met your father that I was young. I knew how to have fun. I also liked the bad boys.”
Her eyes had a faraway look to them as if she was remembering past glories. Ava clapped her hand to her forehead. “Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”
Her mother stood and Ava followed suit, hoping this bizarre exchange was at an end. She didn’t need to picture her mother on the back of a Harley. It was disturbing. And creepy.
“Just know you get this from me, dear.” Her mother led the way out of the diner. “You’re not doing anything that hasn’t been done before. You kids didn’t invent sex, you know.”
“For the love of God, please stop,” Ava groaned. “I don’t want to hear this.”
They walked toward the car and Ava’s mother simply laughed at her daughter’s mortified expression. “I never knew you were such a prude. I think Logan Wright has come along just in time.”
* * * *
Logan opened a box and pulled out a stack of manila folders, handing half to Ava. “We need to get through these financial records so we can start on the files in the attic. This is the last of it.”
She’d been surprised to get Logan’s call earlier asking for more help on the case. His impassive features gave no clue as to whatever emotions he might be hiding. He appeared calm and in control at the moment, nothing like the man he’d been the night before. She knew better. He was suppressing his emotions, skating along the surface like he always did.
The only time he’d shown any emotion was when he’d told her about the ballistics report. George Bryson had been shot by an as yet unidentified serial killer performing vigilante style murders. Apparently the murderer had shot more than a dozen victims in the last ten months.
“We haven’t found anything yet,” she countered, flipping the file open and starting to peruse the contents. “I’m beginning to think there’s nothing here.”
Logan opened the fridge, pulled out two cans of soda and popped them open before sliding one to her side of the kitchen island. “I’m starting to think that myself. So far I haven’t seen anything I wouldn’t expect. It’s frustrating as shit.”
Logan started on his own file and the silence stretched on as they worked. It was hell being so close to him but not being able to help him with the pain he surely felt. The words were dancing on the paper in front of her and she finally couldn’t keep the question from bursting from her lips.
“Are you okay?”
He looked up, his eyes narrowing. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
“You know.” She wasn’t sure how to say it, how to break through the wall he’d built between them. She’d felt it the moment she’d arrived, a polite facade she wanted to shatter. “With everything that’s gone on in the last few days, well, I was wondering how you were doing.”
He looked back down at the file, dismissing her concerns. “Leave it alone, Ava.” His tone had a hard edge but she was in too deep to stop now.
“Ignoring it won’t make anything better.”
A muscle jerked in his jaw. “Typical. Get back to work.”
“What do you mean typical? How am I typical?” She completely abandoned the pretense of working. Denying his emotions wasn’t going to help him in the long run. He was being stubborn and she hated stubborn men. At this moment he reminded her of her father.
Logan looked up again, his blue eyes almost black. “A typical woman. Women are always asking what I’m thinking or what I’m feeling. But they don’t really want to know.”
“I do want to know,” Ava insisted, grabbing his hand with her own. “I’m worried about you.”
Logan snatched his hand back and got up from the barstool to prowl the kitchen. “Right. When a woman says she wants to know what I’m thinking, what she’s really saying is she wants me to know what she’s thinking. She wants me to know what she’s feeling. Feigning interest in me is just a game to get me entangled in her life. It’s a test, Ava, and I don’t like being tested.” He stopped and whirled toward her, his teeth gritted together. “Women are always trying to get me to be more involved than I am. Basically honey, I’m not that deep. I like to drink. I like to fuck. And I like riding my bike and being alone. That’s it. I’m not any more complicated than that.”
Ava didn’t know whether to hit him or hug him. She was pissed that he still lumped her in with every other woman he knew. But another part of her, a big part of her, wanted to pull him into her arms and tell him that every woman didn’t want something from him.
“I’m not trying to do that,” she said evenly. “I truly am concerned. I don’t want to tell you about my feelings.” Boy, was that the truth. “I just can’t imagine going through what you have in the last two days and being hunky-dory. I swear on a stack of all my novels that I’m not trying to test you.”
“So you like me just the way I am?” he taunted. “I find that hard to believe.”
“I don’t like you much at the moment,” she retorted. “You’re being a big horse’s ass right now. You’re spoiled, Logan Wright. You’re a spoiled brat.”
He took a step back, astonishment written on his face. “Spoiled? How in the fuck am I spoiled? You’re the little princess who’s too good for the bad boy.”
Righteous anger that had been building inside her burst open. She shook her finger under his nose. “You’re spoiled. Females have been catering to your whims since you were a teenager. Preening and primping to get your attention, you’ve never had to work for it. Never had to lift a finger to get them to like you. They’ve allowed you to be the shallow playboy you’ve become. It’s fine for now but think of yourself in ten years. You’ll be a pathetic figure, Logan. A middle aged man hitting on young girls in bars. You’ll be a joke.”
Her words were scornful and she hoped they hit home with him painfully. She wanted him to see himself through her eyes. The road he was on was a sad one.
“I never met a woman that was worth changing for.” Logan straightened, his features carved in granite. He knew what to say to inflict the maximum damage. She felt like she’d been punched in the solar plexus, gasping for oxygen.
“I’m sorry,” Ava whispered. “I think that’s a little sad. I also think you have to accept some of the blame for that. You only let women in that will play by your strict set of rules.”
“Have you ever let anyone in?” he jeered. “Ever? I think you’re waiting for a knight in shining armor to sweep you off your feet. You want a man to be perfect, Ava. You’ve set standards so high no man could ever live up to them.”
His words pierced her heart sending pain straight to her soul. She’d let him in, albeit reluctantly, briefly. She hadn’t wanted him to be perfect. Far from it. She’d only wanted him to be what he could be, not this shadow.
“I’ve never wanted a perfect man.” Ava thought of her mother’s words earlier that day. It was funny how a parent knew a child so well. Ava hadn’t even known it herself until this moment. “I’ve only ever wanted a man who had the capacity to love deeply.”
Her shoulders slumped and tears pricked the back of her eyes. Nothing would ever change Logan. He’d been hurt too deeply and too often. The shell around his emotions was thick and she’d be a fool to think she could breach it. This was a battle she wouldn’t win. Logan didn’t want to face what life had thrown at him. She should leave him to live however he wished.
She walked slowly into the living room, slinging her purse over her shoulder, and then toward t
he front door, not looking back. Each step took her farther from Logan and closer to never seeing him again. Despite what she’d told her mother, there was really nothing to keep her in Corville. She could pack her things tonight and be on the road in the morning.
She was halfway down the porch steps when she felt his hand on her shoulder, the heat scorching her skin through the fabric. She couldn’t look at him and let him see the tears she knew were glistening in her eyes. She couldn’t let him know that he’d gotten to her like this. He wouldn’t welcome it.
“You can’t leave.” Logan’s voice was hoarse, almost choked.
“I have to.” She didn’t elaborate but his fingers tightened, almost bruising the flesh in his urgency.
“Don’t leave me, Ava. I can’t have one more person I care about walk out on me.”
Tears spilled down her cheeks, the pain in her heart almost more than she could bear. She wanted desperately to believe his tortured words but her cautious nature wouldn’t let her turn around and throw herself into his arms. She’d never been this vulnerable before with a man and she didn’t like the feeling one bit. She tried to shore up some sort of defenses but they were in short supply. She’d have to make do with what she had.
She placed her hand on his. “I know you feel alone and confused right now. I know you feel betrayed by the people that were supposed to protect you. But you don’t really mean what you’re saying. If I turn around and come back nothing will change. Tomorrow you’ll go back to being the same person you were twenty minutes ago. I couldn’t take that, Logan.”
Her voice shook and her body trembled. She prayed that he would leave her and go back in the house. She wanted to crawl away somewhere and lick her wounds. She needed to find the resources to build up the same shell he wore so easily and carelessly.
“Ava Hayworth, nothing has been the same since the moment we danced together at the wedding. I don’t know what I feel, but I know if you walk away from me I may not be able to survive it this time.”
Her heart. God, her heart.
She couldn’t walk away from this man no matter what damage he might do later. The plea in his tone called to her and she found herself turning around to face him. She caught sight of his pale features before he pulled her into his arms. His lips came down on hers, almost brutal in their intensity, and then more gentle when he realized she wasn’t going to pull away.
Her purse slid down her arm and landed with a thump on the porch steps. Her heart accelerated in her chest and heat swept her body as his hands roamed up and down her curves as if he wanted to learn every line. Emotions she’d tried hard to tuck away broke free.
Her arms went around his neck, holding on for dear life as her legs gave way. He must have felt her surrender because he leaned down and swept her into his arms, carrying her up the steps and through the front door. Kicking it shut with his boot, he strode with purpose towards the back of the house where she knew his bedroom was located.
She was going to make love with Logan. Right here. Right now. She only hoped she wouldn’t regret it in the morning. She only hoped she could survive the broken heart she would surely have when he was done with her.
Chapter Thirteen
Something inside of Logan had snapped when he’d watched Ava walk out of his house. At that moment he’d known he couldn’t let her go. She’d breached the walls he kept firmly around his emotions, guarding him from feeling too much. He didn’t know what would happen tomorrow but tonight he’d spend worshipping her, showing her how it could be between them.
He laid her on the bed and came down on top of her, pressing butterfly light kisses all over her face and throat. Her fingers were holding tightly to his shoulders and her head was thrown back to give him better access to the sensitive curve where her shoulder met her neck. He nipped and then licked at that spot, feeling a heady triumph when she shuddered and a small moan escaped from between her kiss-swollen lips.
His cock pressed insistently against his fly but he didn’t want this to be a bump and run. He wanted to take his time and explore the lush curves and valleys of Ava’s gorgeous body. She wasn’t a bag of bones like so many women these days who existed on lettuce leaves and rice cakes. She had the figure of a woman, full and ripe, waiting to be plucked into his greedy hands.
The problem was she was wearing too many clothes. He reached down and popped open the button of her jeans and pulled the zipper down, the metal teeth loud in the silence.
If he’d thought she might hesitate as the reality of what was happening hit her, he was quite mistaken. He slid to the floor as her jeans glided down her legs. She pulled her pink T-shirt over her head and tossed it aside hurriedly. The jeans joined it along with her white anklet socks with pink thread along the toes.
Reclining on her elbows, Ava’s eyes turned to molten gold as he trailed kisses from her instep, up her calves, to the silky skin behind her knees. She giggled as he hit a ticklish spot so he kissed it again and again until she was laughing and twisting on the bed. He repeated the pattern with her other leg and sat back to survey his handiwork.
She looked delightfully mussed with her flushed skin, sparkling eyes, and tousled curls. How she managed to look so sexy in her sensible white cotton high-cut briefs and matching bra he didn’t know. There was something earthy and sensual about her. She didn’t need fancy lingerie, perfume, or a face full of makeup to get his motor running. He was as attracted to her mind as he was her body, and the thought should have scared the shit out of him.
Ava was the first woman in his life that hadn’t asked anything of him. She didn’t want him to conform to her idea of what a man should be. She’d quietly snuck in under the radar and taken down his emotional walls brick by brick. Calling him on his bad behavior had only been the beginning. She challenged him at every turn to be more, to be better. She believed he could be even when he wasn’t sure himself.
“Logan.” Her soft voice caught his attention and his gaze wandered from her legs to her smiling face. She was holding out her arms and he went into them gratefully. He wanted to blot out everything that had happened before this moment, even just for a few minutes. There would be a long list of things he had to deal with in the morning but for now he’d find some sort of peace with her.
The weight of his body pressed her into the mattress. He reached a hand behind her and squeezed the fastening on her bra until it snapped open. Sliding it down her arms and tossing it over his shoulder he feasted his eyes on the bounty before him. For a small girl she was generously proportioned on top and he wanted to enjoy every exposed inch of flesh. His palm cupped her jaw and he could see her cheeks had turned a pretty shade of pink that just matched her nipples.
“Are you going to just look?” she asked huskily. “It’s kind of embarrassing.”
“You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of, good girl. Nothing at all.”
Even as he spoke her rose tipped breasts tightened and crinkled in response. He loved that just his voice could get her going. He leaned down and lapped at the nipple, hearing her breath suck in at the touch of his tongue. Scraping his teeth lightly on the sides of the hard point, he sucked it into his mouth and her hands went to the back of his head, tangling in his hair.
He chuckled to himself and moved his attention to the other side, plucking the nipple with his fingers while he attended to its twin. He didn’t stop until she was writhing underneath him, rubbing herself against his aching cock. He dragged her panties down her legs so she was completely bare to his gaze. He suddenly couldn’t stand the feel of fabric on his overheated skin and he stood to strip off his clothes.
Ava sat up, her gaze raking him head to toe. “I want to see.”
His dick jumped in his pants at her purely carnal expression. His sweet little good girl had a naughty streak in her and damn if he didn’t love it. He wanted to be the one to help her set it free.
Logan’s fingers went to the top button of his shirt. “Take it all in, baby. I’m all yours tonight.”
Even as he said the words, he knew they were true. She owned a part of him that he might never get back. His mind ruthlessly pushed the truth away. He wasn’t ready to deal with it. Not now.
Tomorrow was soon enough.
* * * *
Ava couldn’t drag her eyes away from Logan as he stripped off his shirt revealing his muscular chest and arms. She reached up with her fingers and traced the ridges and bumps of his flat abdomen, brushing the silky trail of blond hair that disappeared into the waistband of his jeans.
“Easy, baby. We’ve got all night.” Logan’s breathing was as shallow as her own and he took a small step back, freeing the buttons on his fly and shoving the blue material down his thighs. His socks followed and he stood in front of her in nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs. Most men would have looked ridiculous in them but Logan had the physique to pull it off.
She licked her lips at the impressive tent his cock made with the material, and his gaze zeroed in on her movements. Her insides turned to molten liquid and her arousal hitched even higher as he hooked his thumbs inside the elastic of his underwear and quickly shucked them off, tossing them on the ever growing pile of discarded clothing.
His cock sprang free, hard and long, making her fingers itch to explore it as well. He must have read her mind because he stepped closer, inching his manhood closer to her mouth. She leaned forward and traced his six-pack with her tongue leaving a wet trail down his flesh. His hand went to the back of her head and she knew what he wanted.
Surprisingly she wanted it too. She’d always found oral sex to be more than a bit embarrassing. There were smells and bodily fluids, not to mention the evaluation of one’s technique. Avoiding it had become something of a habit.
She was surprised the urge to taste as well as touch was this strong. She wrapped her fingers around the base of his cock, so thick her fingers didn’t touch. A shiver of apprehension and anticipation ran through her as she thought about how it was going to feel inside. He was bigger than any man she’d known before. Women were always saying bigger was better and it looked like she was going to find out for herself very shortly.
Cowboy Truth: Cowboy Justice Association #3 Page 12
