“Wow,” Chris said, “this is new.”
“What’s new?”
“You’re green with envy, and your eyes haven’t left Brad all night. Why don’t you two just kiss and make up?”
Riley glared. “We’re friends, not lovers.”
“Maybe it’s time to change that.”
Chris nodded toward Brad, and Riley lifted his head in time for their eyes to connect. He got lost in Brad’s baby blues for a long minute.
“See? That right there is what I’m talking about!” Chris crowed. “You two are mad for each other. Just stop pretending.”
Brad looked away, laughing at something his tiny-dicked dance partner said.
Fuck it.
Riley guzzled the rest of his beer and strolled out onto the dance floor. Chris called out something encouraging, but Riley ignored him.
He slid up behind Brad, placing a hand on each hip. This position felt familiar. “Hey, gorgeous. You ready for a real man?”
He tugged Brad back against his hips, grinding against him. Brad wasn’t quite as pliant as in the past, but he didn’t fight too hard.
“Hey, man, you mind?” Brad’s dance partner spoke up. “We’re trying to dance.”
“Am I stopping you?” Riley asked.
He blatantly ran his hand up Brad’s chest, pausing to tug a nipple ring through his shirt. Brad’s legs went weak and more of his weight sagged back against Riley, but he cast an annoyed look over his shoulder.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m not really into threesomes,” Brad’s dance partner added pointedly.
“He’s leaving,” Brad said. “No threesomes here! My motto is Menage-No-Way! That’s not how I roll.”
Riley scoffed. “Not what you said on New Year’s 2015.”
“Shut up, that was the champagne talking.”
“Maybe I should go.”
“No, Mike. Please!”
Brad grabbed Riley’s roaming hands and pushed them off his body. Then he stepped away from him and closer to Mike.
“You’re choosing him?” Riley asked, feeling the sharp sting of rejection.
Brad looked pained as he gripped Mike’s hand to keep him from running off.
“We’re not doing this anymore, Ri. We talked about this.”
Riley stared down at their linked hands. Such a simple gesture, and not one he’d ever shared with Brad. What was so bad about holding a guy’s hand? Why was it scarier to admit he liked a guy than to shove his cock inside him?
The words fell from his mouth, sounding petulant. “But I miss you.”
They’d spent hours together the day before, but Brad seemed to understand that wasn’t what Riley meant.
“I miss you too.”
“So come home with me.”
“Okay, I’m just going to let you two talk this out,” Mike said, tugging his hand free of Brad’s and slipping into the crowd.
Riley smirked as he watched his rival leave. “You know, for a guy named Mike he’s surprisingly smart.”
“Goddamnit, Riley!”
Brad’s angry tone surprised him. He looked up to see twin spots of red in his cheeks.
“What?”
“Bad enough you used to cockblock me when you wanted some, but now we’re not even sleeping together and you’re screwing with me!”
“So, let’s go back to sleeping together.”
Brad stared at him, and he stared back. Each of them seemed to be waiting for the other to blink.
Brad spoke first. “I’m not ever going to be your casual fuck buddy again.”
“Brad—”
“Let me finish!” he snapped out. “The only way I’m leaving with you is if we go to your place—”
“Done!”
“—and I sleep over with you.”
“Okay, yeah. I can do that.”
“And you make me breakfast.”
“Christ, Brad, you know I can’t cook!”
Brad laughed, a twinkle in his eye. “Okay, I’ll make you breakfast. The point is we’d be more than a hook-up. If you can’t handle that, then back off and let me find someone who can.”
Riley’s heart skipped a beat. He was terrified, and he wasn’t sure which notion was scarier: committing to Brad or letting Brad go.
“It’s okay if you can’t do it,” Brad said gently. “I love you, but I can’t ask for something you can’t give.”
Riley stopped thinking. That vulnerable look on Brad’s face was killing him. He dipped down for a soft kiss.
“Babe, you know I can handle you.”
Brad leaned up to kiss him again, and it went from sweet to hot in seconds. Riley buried his hands in Brad’s hair and plunged into a deeper kiss. They pressed together, plastered together hip to hip, and he felt the unmistakable shape of Brad’s hard-on.
“Oh fuck,” Riley panted, “I want you so bad.”
“Me too,” Brad murmured, dropping a hand to rub Riley through his jeans.
“Wanna get out of here?”
“Think you can really handle this?” Brad asked, and Riley knew he didn’t mean the sex.
“What do you like for breakfast? I’ll go get you something in the morning.”
Brad beamed at him and pulled him in for another kiss, and then they were moving toward the exit.
“What? No goodbyes? No thank-you’s?” Chris called with a Cheshire grin.
Riley flipped him the bird as Brad laughed.
“Bye-bye, love birds! Make sure to invite me to the wedding,” Chris called after them.
***
They walked the six blocks to Riley’s apartment. The night was warm, but still managed to be cooler than the crowded nightclub. Riley took a few deep breaths, clearing some of the lust fogging his brain.
He still wanted Brad like crazy. Anticipation continued to simmer, but he could think, too. This was a big step, what he’d promised Brad. They never went back to his place for sex. He didn’t like being the dick who kicked someone out so he always opted to go somewhere he could leave. And he definitely never stayed over. That was part of his credo. No sleepovers.
He was breaking all his rules for Brad, and he didn’t kid himself: If he did this, there was no going back. He couldn’t go halfway with Brad. He never wanted to be that guy who led on someone, and he wouldn’t be able to look in the mirror if he broke his best friend’s heart.
It had to be all or nothing.
“You okay?” Brad asked. “You’re thinking hard over there.”
Riley forced a smile to his face. He glanced over, but he couldn’t make himself meet Brad’s direct gaze. Instead, his eyes took in Brad’s outfit, and he realized for the first time it was a bit conservative for him. His T-shirt was snug, but it wasn’t skintight or that mesh shit you could see through. He was wearing skinny jeans, but anything that covered his legs was unusual. Brad was hella proud of his body, as he should be. It was in tip-top shape from all the aerobics he did through his job and for fun, crazy as that seemed to Riley. Exercise was not Riley’s bag, for the most part. He occasionally lifted weights if he was feeling restless. Most of the time, he relied on his job to keep him fit.
“You’re dressed different,” he said, stating the obvious.
Brad shrugged. “I didn’t much feel like playing the part tonight.”
“The part?”
“Cockslut who’ll fuck anything that moves. It’s no longer true, so I put away the disguise.”
“Is that all it was? I thought that was you.”
Riley suddenly wondered if he knew Brad at all. He’d always been the party boy up for a good time. His ex-boyfriend had come and gone months before they ever met through a mutual friend. They’d fucked right away, but had both been in casual sex mode and fell into a wingman/friends with benefits role without ever discussing it. It had felt natural.
Brad came to a stop, grabbing Riley’s arm. “It was one facet of me. I like to have fun. But that isn’t all I am, much as I’ve pretended otherwi
se the past few years.”
Riley nodded, but he didn’t look like he entirely understood it.
“I’m not saying I’ll never dress that way again. My legs are way too nice to hide away,” Brad added with a teasing note, earning a smile from Riley. “I just wasn’t feeling it tonight, and I wasn’t planning to hook up or anything, so why bother?”
“What about the guy you were dancing with, though?”
“It was just dancing, Riley.”
Riley cocked his head. “You played me.”
Brad snorted. “No one played you. Mike was nice. I think he would have been up for dating, but I wasn’t going to take him home tonight. You were jealous, and you acted on it. Don’t put that on me.”
“Fair enough.”
“Do you want to call this whole thing off? Be only friends?”
Riley saw the fear in Brad’s eyes, but his voice was firm. Confident. Riley shook his head no, unable to find words.
Brad smiled one of his brilliant smiles and tugged Riley’s hand. “Then let’s go. I want to get naked with you.”
***
They made it back to the apartment before Riley’s second round of nerves hit. He had Brad in his bed, stripped down to his vivid turquoise briefs — apparently, Brad couldn’t erase all of his flamboyance in one night — and it suddenly hit him: This was it. He was venturing into a place he’d never gone before.
“I’m fucking terrified, you know,” he said.
Brad’s eyes gleamed. “I know. I’m a little scared too.”
“Yeah?”
Brad nodded before bringing him in for another kiss. “We’re both taking a risk. There are no guarantees we won’t get hurt. But I think you’re worth it.”
Yes. That resonated. Brad was worth it. Riley couldn’t give up his friendship, and he couldn’t give up the moments of intimacy in bed with him either. He wanted the whole package, so why had he been fighting it for so long?
“You’re more than worth it,” he said, lowering his hands to Brad’s underwear. He peeled them down his legs, watching his rosy cock pop free.
He got lost in the sensations of Brad’s body. Like muscle memory, his hands and mouth played Brad’s body like an instrument. He explored all Brad’s hot spots, so familiar to him by now and yet still exciting. The spot behind his ear that made him shiver. The nibble across his ribs that always made him giggle. The smooth, velvet of his cockhead and the silky feel of his thighs.
Hell, yes. He’d missed this.
Riley did everything he could to pour all of his love into each touch. He still felt a niggle of guilt that he’d been so oblivious. That he’d hurt Brad, who was more precious to him than he’d ever realized.
He kissed and licked and sucked. And when Brad started begging for more, Riley gave him everything he had. He eased Brad open with his fingers, earning a few curses for going too slow. He didn’t care. He wanted to show Brad that this was different for him than some rough fuck after a night of drinking and dancing.
He grabbed the supplies, lubed up and pushed inside Brad. Face-to-face. He watched his eyes and realized he’d never paid enough attention to the kaleidoscope of expressions that crossed Brad’s face during sex. His lips parted and his eyes went heavy, but it was more than that. He could see pleasure, hints of pain, and so much love in Brad’s face. When he neared orgasm, Brad’s eyes grew wet and his face crumpled, and Riley felt his heart twist in his chest at the brief flash of sorrow he caught before Brad was coming apart in his arms, crying out and shaking and pulsing between them.
Riley didn’t need much urging to follow, not with Brad’s body spasming around his cock and his hoarse cries ratcheting up Riley’s lust another notch. He groaned out a release and collapsed onto Brad’s body.
And afterward, instead of feeling depleted, he felt full.
***
Brad rolled into Riley’s arms, hiding his face in his neck. He was shaking with the aftermath of their love-making, and it wasn’t the orgasms that had turned him to goo. He’d never experienced sex so emotional, not even with Kevin after months of dating.
Riley’s hand stroked his hair, startling him. That was new. He wasn’t used to Riley cuddling after sex.
“You good?” Riley whispered.
Brad nodded, but his breath shuddered out of him, giving him away. Riley put a finger under his chin and tilted up his face.
“You … you’re crying?”
Brad gave a watery laugh and brushed at his eyes. “Ignore me.”
“Kinda hard to do, babe. I’ve got your juices all over me.”
Brad wrinkled his nose. “Ew?”
Riley leaned in and nuzzled his neck. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
Brad pulled away, needing a bit of space. He was embarrassed he couldn’t keep his emotions in check.
“It’s just been hard these past few weeks. Thinking I’d never have this. That I might even lose your friendship.”
He tried to avoid Riley’s gaze, but his brand-new boyfriend propped himself up on an elbow and looked directly into Brad’s eyes.
“I’m sorry I was so stupid,” he said. “If I’d known how you’d felt …”
“You would have run for the hills. You still might.”
“No.” Riley dropped a kiss on his forehead. “I’m not going anywhere. Maybe if you’d said something years ago, that would be true. Not now, Brad. I’m probably going to fuck shit up. I’ve never had a relationship, you know? But I want to try. I missed you.”
“You missed sex with me,” Brad corrected.
“Is that what you think? I mean, yeah, I really missed sex with you. But I also missed talking to you. Texting and joking around. Seeing movies. Bret has totally boring taste in films. I need you there to go to a comedy with me. To laugh at stupid shit. We’re friends, Brad. I thought you knew that our friendship went beyond sex. Isn’t that what we’ve been rebuilding with all those outings recently?”
Brad bit his lip, feeling bad about the flash of hurt in Riley’s eyes. “I do know that. Maybe I forgot for a while because I was trying so hard to get a handle on my feelings.”
Riley kissed his lips gently. “We’re together now, and we’re going to stay that way. Right?”
There was an edge of fear in his tone, and Brad couldn’t help but remember all the people who had left Riley in his life, either through unfortunate accidents or willful choice.
Brad put a hand to Riley’s cheek and smiled. “Yeah, we’re staying that way, Ri.”
Epilogue
Nine months later ...
It was beautiful weather for April, when so often showers or high winds spoiled a day. Brad basked in the sunshine, sipping a Bloody Mary since he was nursing a bit of a hangover from the night before.
Chris smirked at him, shaking his head. “Told you to slow down last night.”
“Well, it’s not every day my boyfriend celebrates a birthday.”
Riley stirred next to him, still half-asleep and nursing a coffee. “And it was such a gift to have to carry my boyfriend home and pour him into bed, too.”
“I wasn’t that bad! Besides, you got your present before we went out.”
A dopey grin spread across Riley’s face as he obviously remembered the thorough rim job and fucking he’d gotten from Brad. When they’d started sleeping together all those years ago, Riley had exclusively topped. He’d never trusted anyone enough to do anything else, he confessed to Brad a few months after they started dating for real. Eventually, he’d wanted to explore bottoming and had taken a real shine to it. Brad still preferred to bottom and Riley was a natural top, so it’d become something of a special occasion to change it up.
“That was a great present,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss Brad’s lips. “Oh, and I liked the actual gifts you bought me too.”
Brad smiled. He’d bought Riley a computer game he’d been salivating over for months and a few pairs of new jeans because the man seriously wore out his clothes on the job. Nothing all that romantic,
but Riley had been happy. Brad saved the romance for the bedroom.
“Aw, you guys are so cute. Who’d have thought you’d be living together and all lovey-dovey back when you fucked anything that moved,” Chris teased.
Harry snorted. “Nice, Chris. But you’re right. They were kind of slutty.”
Brad pointed an accusing finger at Harry. “Don’t make me tell tales on you in front of Bret.”
Harry raised his hands, grimacing. “No, mercy. I beg you!”
“Don’t worry,” Bret said. “I know Harry got around before he met me. I’m glad he did.”
They all paused, forks midway to mouths, to goggle at Bret. In the time they’d known him, he’d come out as asexual. Brad still didn’t understand it completely, but after some covert questions to Chris he’d managed to learn that Harry and Bret were sexually active sometimes, but it was probably a lot less than the average couple.
He couldn’t really imagine a relationship like that. He and Riley had slowed down a bit, but they were both physical creatures and they had sex just about every day. Still, he admired Harry and Bret’s devotion every time he saw them. They were rock solid.
“You’re glad I got around?” Harry asked, sounding baffled.
“Yeah.” Bret offered an almost shy smile. “That way you were ready to settle down with me.”
“Awww,” Brad crooned as Harry leaned in to whisper something that made Bret blush.
“So, you two are practically married,” Chris said to Harry and Bret, making them both flush, “and now we have Brad and Riley and their very own baby.”
“That thing is not a baby. It’s not even a real dog,” Riley protested.
Brad puts his hands over their Yorkie’s ears. The pooch seated on his lap was the main reason they were dining outside instead of indoors.
“Shhh. Don’t let Ellie hear you talk like that,” Brad said.
Riley rolled his eyes as Chris snorted laughter.
“Guess that makes me the last holdout,” he said. “And to think, Riley got so pissed at me when I suggested he was lovesick over Brad. Now, you have your own little family.”
My Anti-Boyfriend Page 5
