“As far as you know, anyway,” she said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just that you slept next to that man for years, and you have no idea what he might have done to you—”
“This is not helping,” I said.
She nodded once. “Noted.”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” I got up off the couch in my living room and wandered over to the kitchen. “I could make food.”
She shook her head. “Lachlan’s picking something up, he said. He told me to make sure you take it easy, so get back on the couch, missy.”
I groaned. “I wish everyone would stop treating me like I’m glass.”
“You just went through—”
“I’ve been through this before!”
She nodded. “Okay.”
I folded my arms over my chest. “Tell me something else, okay? Tell me how Connor is doing with the magic lessons?”
“Really well,” she said. “I’m a much better teacher than you.”
I smiled. “I’m sure you are. And Jensen? How are things with Jensen?”
“You don’t care about Jensen.”
“Sure I do,” I said. I was eager to talk about anything besides what had happened to me.
“Well, now that he’s sufficiently convinced that I’m capable of fending off hungry vampires, he’s letting me drive myself places, which is good, because if he hadn’t let up on that, I would have probably left him.”
“Seriously?”
“I know you guys did what you did because you were worried about me, but it was not cool. You can’t just take away someone’s ability to leave her house.”
I furrowed my brow. “You know, Felicity, I didn’t think about it that way. I’m sorry.”
She sighed. “Like I said, you did it out of love, and I know that, so I forgive you. But don’t do that again.”
I nodded. “I won’t. It’s like we kidnapped you. It’s like…” I went back over to the couch and sat down. “You were like a captive.”
“Don’t get dramatic,” she said. “Now, if Jensen would apologize too, I’d be completely over it.”
The door to my apartment opened.
I leaped to my feet, gathering up my magic, ready to breathe fire.
But it was only Lachlan, coming in with paper bags full of takeout.
I let my shoulders slump. “Jesus, Lachlan, can you knock?”
He raised his eyebrows. “Sorry, I just figured that since I was already in the hotel, you’d know it was me.”
I rubbed my forehead. “I don’t have enough magic. I need to shift.”
“But there’s food,” he said. “Why don’t you sit down and eat?”
I shook my head. “No, I need to shift now.” And I took off down the hallway to head for the back door.
* * *
I sat on the couch with my arms wrapped around my knees. I was exhausted. I’d gone out into the waves and shifted, which had been refreshing, but I still hadn’t had the energy to go on a decent flight or anything. Instead, I wanted to come home and crawl into bed. But I found that I was too wired to sleep, at least so far.
Lachlan was pacing in my living room, talking into the phone in a low, urgent voice.
The takeout food had been delicious and only a little bit cold. Shifting before eating, for my peace of mind, had been totally worth it.
Lachlan hung up. “I told them that they needed to tranq him and to ship him to Roxbone right away, even if they’re just holding him overnight.”
“They listened, right?” I said. “Alastair is too dangerous to be dealt with any other way. If the police are going to try to arrest him, that’s how they have to do it.”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I think I got through to them, but I can’t be sure. It’s not being treated with the kind of priority I feel it should be. If I weren’t a vampire, if it was some other detective’s girlfriend, then the cavalry would be called in.” He sat down next to me on the couch, sinking both his hands into his hair. “Or maybe it’s because I’m just not very likable. People think I use magic to get my confessions. I don’t.”
“I know that.” I patted his knee. “Maybe we should go with the officers who are arresting Alastair? We have magic. You drank my blood earlier, so you could help.”
He sank back against the couch. “That. We haven’t even talked about that. What the hell was that?”
“A blood bond, apparently,” I said. “But about going out there—”
“No way. You’ve been through enough today. You look tired.”
I sighed, leaning into the couch as well. “I am tired. But if they can’t handle him—”
“They have to handle him. I told them what to do, and they won’t screw it up.” But it sounded like he was trying to convince himself as well as me. “We can’t be there. We’re involved, and we need unbiased people performing the arrest.”
“Oh, right.” I nodded.
He reached out and picked up a lock of my hair. He fingered it. “Hey, it would make me feel better if you let me stay here on the couch or something. I don’t think I could sleep if I thought you were here alone.”
“Of course you should stay,” I said.
“I probably won’t sleep,” he muttered. “At least not until I know they have him.”
“Connor said he was going to stand sentry at the bottom of the steps,” I said.
Lachlan raised his eyebrows.
“He’s a gargoyle,” I said. “He’s impervious to flame.”
Lachlan laughed. “Well, there’s that, I guess.” He sucked in breath through his nose, and he wouldn’t look at me. “What you said earlier, about it being an extension of your screwed-up-ness. It’s true for me too.”
“What do you mean?”
He studied his palms. “It’s just one more way that I failed, you know? Like, I was supposed to protect my daughter? That was my most important job. That’s what a father does. And I didn’t.”
“Hey, that’s not—”
“And last night, I was being juvenile and worrying over my ego, and I didn’t pick up the phone when you called.” He looked at me. “I didn’t protect you either. I should have been here with you.”
“Stop doing that.” I furrowed my brow. “I don’t blame you.”
“Do you blame anyone?” He raised his gaze to me. “You don’t have to be completely over this, you know. You could try to stop running from it.”
“I’m not running from it. It’s just that it’s been so much worse than this, and I’m—”
“Yeah, yeah.” He sighed. “Right. You’re fine. It’s been worse.”
I put my hands on my hips. “It has.”
He shrugged. “Okay, then. Well, there’s no point in talking about it anymore.”
“There really isn’t,” I said. “Let’s put this behind us and move the hell on.”
He let out a bitter laugh. “Oh, sure. It’s no big deal, Penny.” He went back the hall and threw open my linen closet. He started to pull out some blankets.
“What are you doing?” I said.
“Is it okay if I use these?” he said. “I’m going to bed, since we’re moving the hell on.”
I glared at him. “Whatever,” I said. I stalked back the hallway to my bedroom and I stood there, hugging myself. Tears were threatening, but I swallowed them.
I took off my clothes and I looked down at my body, which was unmarred and perfect and all my bruises were gone. I thought of Alastair’s fingers between my legs, and I started to shake.
“It’s been worse,” I muttered. “Don’t think about it.” I put on a big nightshirt that swathed my body, obscuring all my curves.
I turned out the light and crawled into my bed.
But I couldn’t close my eyes. It was too dark, and I kept thinking I could see the shadows move. I kept expecting Alastair to climb out of my closet or from a crouch behind my dresser. Do you really think I stopped, Penny? he would say.
/> I shuddered. I tried to close my eyes, but I was afraid to do it.
If he was coming for me, I wanted to see him coming.
I shoved aside the covers, switching on the light and bathing the room in brightness. I went through the room, shoving aside the clothes in my closet, looking in all the corners. I opened the door to my bathroom. I pushed aside the shower curtain to make sure it was empty.
And then I felt like I needed to check the rest of the house.
I went out into the hallway and across to Felicity’s old room which was just an empty room for storage right now. I turned on the light, walked around the piles of boxes.
When I came back to the hallway, Lachlan was standing there.
I screamed.
“Sorry,” he said.
“Don’t sneak up on me,” I snapped.
“What are you doing?”
“Just… checking… making sure there’s no one else in the apartment.”
He nodded. “Sure. We can do that.” He took me by the hand and led me to the other bathroom.
We looked in there, opened that shower curtain. We checked the linen closet. We checked the closet in the living room. The kitchen. Lachlan even opened the refrigerator.
I went back out into the living room and I turned in a circle, hugging myself.
“You okay?” he said.
I shook my head. “Maybe not.”
“You know it’s all right not to be okay.”
I swallowed.
He opened his arms, and I walked into them. He kissed the top of my head.
“I’d feel better if you weren’t on the couch,” I said.
He took me by the shoulders and pushed me back so that he was looking into my eyes. “Penny, I don’t know if…”
“Just to sleep?” I said. “That couch isn’t very comfortable anyway, and there’s room in my bed.”
“Okay,” he said. “If that’s what you want.”
I nodded.
We went back to my room, and we got into opposite sides of the bed.
I turned out the light, and we lay there, next to each other, on our backs, clutching the covers, not touching.
“This blood bond thing?” he mumbled. “That’s weird.”
“But it was good, right?” I said. “You didn’t have any trouble stopping, not like the other times.”
“You said we have power together. What kind of power are we talking about here?”
“I don’t really know,” I said. “But you remember the first time you bit me? How we stopped bullets in the air?”
He was quiet. “Yeah.”
“It freaks me out too,” I said. “I think you’re amazing, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t know how much more magical bonding with men I can take.”
“Hey.” He propped himself up on one arm, looking down at me. “That isn’t why you still wanted me, is it? Even after I kept nearly killing you by taking too much blood? Did the bond make you want me?”
“No, of course not.” I rolled over on my side to face him. “I didn’t choose Alastair. The bond found me. The way I’m attracted to you, it’s completely different.”
“Less?” he said. “Are you less attracted to me?”
I hesitated. “You’re still insecure about it.”
“No, I’m not.” He rolled onto his back again. “I won’t be. I’ll stop.”
I moved close, putting a hesitant hand on his shoulder. “I’m more attracted to you. It’s real, not some stupid weird magical bond screwing with my head. I choose you.”
He seized my hand. Kissed my palm. “Okay,” he said in a gravelly voice.
I touched his face. His chin was a little prickly, stubble starting to come in. I brushed my thumb over it.
His mouth found mine.
Our bodies pressed close.
We kissed, and it was soft and slow and sweet.
He pulled away. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay,” I said. “I feel safe with you. I like kissing you.”
He kissed my forehead. “Try to sleep, Penny.”
I clutched him. “Can we stay like this? Stay close?”
He wrapped a strong arm around me. “Of course.”
* * *
I awoke to the sound of Lachlan swearing.
I sat up in bed. I was alone in the bedroom, and it was dark. I put my feet over the side of the bed and went out to open the door. Lachlan’s voice filtered up the hallway.
“…isn’t like a typical domestic violence case, and I told you that, and not just because I’m involved with her… Yes. I think diverting some manpower to this would be a good idea. He’s volatile, and you’re sitting on your hands here.”
I eased out into the hallway and walked toward the living room, where the light was on.
“We don’t know that, and even if it’s true, there’s no reason to not arrest him.” Lachlan was on his phone. He looked up and saw me. His shoulders sagged.
“What’s up?” I said.
He held up a finger, indicating I should wait a minute.
I leaned against the wall.
“Yes, I know how much money he has,” Lachlan was saying. He paused. “Yes, I realize it’s late.” He was quiet again. Listening. “Well, I don’t agree with that, and you know it. But if I can’t talk you out of it—” Another pause. “Fine. If that’s how you’re going to play this thing, fine. I’ll talk to you in the morning.” He yanked the phone away from his ear and tossed it on the couch. “Fucking idiots.”
“What?” I said.
He crossed to me, putting his arm around me and kissing me on the forehead. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“It’s okay.” I leaned into him, liking the feeling of his body close to mine. “Is it Alastair?”
“He wasn’t at home,” said Lachlan. “So, they just decided to call it a night and try to arrest him tomorrow.”
I furrowed my brow. “Well, that’s not good.”
“I thought we had a bit of time,” said Lachlan. “Because I figured that he wouldn’t cause a scene, you know, try to take you forcibly in the middle of the day or something. It would make him look crazy, and I know he has business interests to protect from that kind of a hit to his image. But there’s no mistake that he’s enraged over the fact you got out of there.”
“Yeah, I’m sure that’s true.” Why hadn’t I been thinking about how Alastair would have reacted to my leaving? I guess I’d been too preoccupied with getting through what had happened to me.
“He thinks of you as a piece of property,” said Lachlan. “He wants you back. If he’s not under arrest, you’re in danger, and we should probably leave here. Maybe go to my place. I don’t think he knows where I live, but he knows about this place, and he could be outside right now.”
A tiny tendril of fear began to wind its way up my spine. I went over to one of the windows and pulled the curtains away. Outside, I could see the lights of the nearby hotels, of the street. I could see the dark, empty beach, but the black water faded into the black sky. “I don’t want to run from him.”
“We don’t need to be heroes here.”
“This blood bond thing might be the only thing that can stop him right now.”
He came up behind me, wrapping his arms around me. “We don’t even know how that works.”
“You drank my blood earlier today, so you should have enough of my blood, enough of my magic…” I turned to look up at him.
He rested his forehead against mine. “We’re leaving, and that’s that.”
“You can’t order me around,” I said quietly, kissing him.
His voice was a low rumble. “I just did. Maybe you didn’t notice. Go get dressed.”
I thought about arguing, but maybe he was right. Maybe it was better to lay low for a bit. Just until we were a little more ready to face all of this. So, I nodded. “Okay.” I turned and started to walk back the hall.
And the door to the balcony burst open and Connor came through it. He slammed the door
closed and collapsed against it, out of breath. “Penny,” he rasped. “Run.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
I wasn’t running anywhere. “Out of the way, Connor,” I said, nostrils flaring, hands clenching into fists. “Is it Alastair?”
“He’s right behind me,” said Connor. “I can hold him off, but you should get the hell out of here while you have the chance.”
“Move,” I said.
Lachlan stepped up behind me. “Penny, maybe we should—”
“No,” I snarled. “I want to finish this.”
“Penny—” said Connor.
“Move,” I said.
He didn’t.
I reached out with magic and shoved him to the side.
“Hey!” he protested as he stumbled into Felicity’s old room.
The door flew open and a harsh, cold wind blew in, scattering sand and shells and dead leaves over the hallway.
Then Alastair stepped up onto the threshold.
I threw out both of my hands, funneling all my magic into them, forcing the magic out and into Alastair.
He raised his own hand, made a motion to wave it away from him.
And my magic rushed back down the hallway, into me. My own magic propelled me back into Lachlan, and the both of us went sprawling onto the floor.
Alastair chuckled. He used magic to lift me into the air so that I hovered there.
I fought. I used all the magic I had to try to get myself down to the ground. But it was ineffectual, like I was a tiny girl pounding on a steel door that wouldn’t budge.
Alastair’s eyes glowed orange. “You will come with me, Penny. And you won’t leave this time.” He dropped me. The magic wasn’t holding me up anymore.
I stumbled, grabbing for the wall. And my legs started to carry me toward Alastair. What was happening? He’d compelled me, but he wasn’t close enough. He wasn’t looking into my eyes. How powerful was he?
He smiled. “You know, I keep discovering all these wonderful skills that I didn’t even know I had,” he said. He pointed at Lachlan. “You. Why don’t you run out onto the balcony and take a flying leap?”
Lachlan stood up, his face grim. I could see that he was fighting, but it was no use. His legs were already pumping.
I reached out for him.
Alastair used magic to make me crash into the wall, out of the way.
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