“How did her bodice come to be ripped?”
“I backed her against the billiards table,” he said bluntly. “I suppose it came to be ripped then.” He gave a short laugh. “I did not tear the cloth deliberately.”
“Did you set out to seduce her?”
“No, but I came damnably close.”
“Why did you stop?” Justin’s expression was merely curious.
“Because it penetrated my damnable conscience that I could hurt her, that I was hurting her.”
“She said you did not hurt her. And you did stop.” Justin met his gaze squarely. “You did not force her.”
“She did not ask for my kiss, I forced it on her because I was angry and I came close to losing complete control and taking her on the table. I vowed I would never touch a woman in anger. And I did.”
“You are not your father,” Justin said quietly.
“No? I have his blood running in my veins. I have inherited his temper and his lack of control. And his appetites.”
“I have not noticed that. Nor has anyone else.”
“Only because I am careful to keep my passions under control.”
“So you are telling me that underneath your iron control you harbour the desire to seduce virgins for sport and engage in perversions that are best left unspoken of? You’d force yourself on unwilling women?”
“Of course not, dammit.”
“I did not think so. Not even when you were determined to sow as many wild oats as possible did you behave in a less than chivalrous manner.”
Brandt shrugged. “It does not matter. Chloe has told me that we are not suited. She is right, of course. She wishes for a dull husband. She informed me I am not dull enough. I will, of course, release her from the betrothal as soon as possible.”
“I suggest you wait unless you want Ralston to hurry her off to Denbigh Hall, or Lady Kentworth to spread rumours.”
“I’ve no doubt you could put a stop to both of those.”
“Perhaps. Or perhaps not.”
“Damn you,” Brandt said softly. “Do you not see the necessity of my staying away from her?”
“I doubt Chloe is in any danger from any more displays of passion. Quite the contrary, I suspect.” Justin was silent for a moment. “Do you think I did not feel shame for what I did to Belle? Forcing her to become my mistress was hardly the act of an honourable man.”
“You thought she had hurt you and your family in the worst possible way.”
“That did not justify my despicable behaviour,” he said. “I am only grateful that Belle forgave me.”
“She loves you.”
“Yes.” A slight smile touched Justin’s mouth. “Little though I deserve it. I like to think that because of that, I am perhaps a more honourable man that I might have been.”
“You are fortunate.”
“Very.” He looked back at Brandt. “Chloe could be your redemption as well.”
“She hates me.”
“I doubt it. She seemed more concerned about protecting you than accusing you.”
He shrugged, determined to quell the slight hope that sprang within him. “She is an innocent. She has no idea what I am.”
Justin merely looked at him. “I do not think you know either.”
Brandt moved away. “I must return to Waverly. I trust Belle will understand if I decline her offer for dinner.”
“As you wish. You can dine with us tomorrow.”
“I think not.” He left before his cousin could say anything more.
—
Chloe stood in front of the window, too numb to move. She supposed she should summon the maid to help her undress, but could not seem to act. She only turned when she heard the door open.
Belle had quietly entered the room. She quickly took in Chloe’s appearance. “Are you all right?”
“Yes.”
Belle came across the room. “What happened?” she asked quietly.
“Can you first make certain Justin does not call Brandt out?”
Belle stilled. “Why would Justin wish to do that?”
“I imagine because he thinks Brandt hurt me.”
“Did he?”
“No.” She took a deep breath. “He…he just kissed me. He did nothing more.”
“And your dress.”
“Somehow it became torn. Brandt did not do it.”
“I see.” Belle looked thoughtful.
“Can you make certain Brandt is safe?”
“I am certain he is.” Belle took her hand. “Come and sit by me.”
She followed Belle to the bed and sat next to her. “Do you wish to tell me about it?” Belle asked. “Only if you wish.”
“He asked me to marry him. He said that we could have a sensible, practical marriage, just as I wished. That because we were already betrothed it would save us the inconvenience of finding other spouses.”
“That is perhaps true. What did you say?”
“I said “’no’” and told him that I did not find him dull enough to be the sort of husband I wanted. Then I told him I would never fall in love with him. And then he…he kissed me.”
“Then what happened?”
She flushed. “He let me go and then asked if he had hurt me. I said no and he told me he would never touch me again like that. He said I was right, we were not suited and he would release me from this betrothal.” She turned her eyes on Belle. “He said he…he nearly seduced me. He looked in such anguish—I have never seen anyone so!”
“I imagine he was angry with himself for kissing you in such a way,” Belle said carefully. “You are young and have not much experience with men or their passions, which, of course, is what is expected of young, unmarried women. It is not acceptable for a man to do more than plant a chaste kiss on the cheek of his affianced bride. He probably feared he had frightened you and was horrified as well at his ungentlemanly behaviour. He has always wanted to protect you, whether you wanted him to or not.”
“Yes.” That was very true.
“There is one more thing.”
Chloe looked up at her, the tone of Belle’s voice giving her pause. “What is it?”
“I do not know what you know of Brandt’s father, but he was far from a kind man. He was considered a pious man but he was cruel. Cruel to his wife, and to his son. At the least provocation, real or imagined, his father would strike him. Brandt’s mother was a frail invalid and although Brandt loved her, she did not help him. Instead, he bore his father’s wrath to stand up for her. He still thinks there was something he should have done or could have done. When Brandt left home after his mother died, he behaved in the worst way possible. Perhaps he wished to punish his father for her death. In the end, he discovered his father did things that were far worse than anything Brandt could ever do. Justin says that Brandt fears he has inherited his father’s tendencies.”
“How can he think that?” Tears sprang to Chloe’s eyes. Shock and pity mixed with anger towards a father who would abuse his son rushed through her. She could not imagine Giles ever raising a hand to Will in such a way. Or to Caroline or to his wife. Or Justin striking Belle or little Julian no matter how angry he might be.
“Because despite the fear and the helplessness, one feels such terrible anger. You cannot show that anger and so it is buried along with any other emotion. When you feel again you fear that you will never stop the anger…that you are no better than the person you feared and loathed. You will do anything to prove you are not.”
“Is that how you felt with Lucien?”
Belle hesitated. “Yes, that is how I felt. After Lucien’s death, when Justin returned, determined to make me pay for the terrible wrong Lucien had done to him and to his family, I thought the only way I could atone for Lucien’s wrongs and my own was to give him what he wanted. I never thought I would fall in love with Justin or that he would come to love me. So I tried to run from him and from myself. I feared that the happiness I felt with him was only an illusion and I would
wake up and find it all gone, that I was not deserving after all. I suspect Brandt feels much the same. He feels he has no right to care for you.”
“But he doesn’t. Not in that way.”
“He does.” Belle smiled a little. “Why else do you think he kissed you with such passion and then instantly regretted it?”
“Do men not do that? Kiss women, whether there is any attachment or not?”
“Sometimes, but I do not think that was what happened today.” Belle hesitated. “Sometimes when one is first kissed it might not be quite as enjoyable as it will be later. Sometimes it is rather frightening but when you hold someone in regard and they return your affection, it will soon become one of the most pleasurable activities of marriage.”
Chloe’s cheeks burned. “Perhaps. At any rate, I…I am not going to marry Brandt. He does not want me. In fact, he suggested we avoid each other as much as possible.”
“Then you must persuade him otherwise.”
“Why? We are not suited.” But Chloe’s words did not quite ring true.
“Oh, but I think you are. As does everyone else.” Belle’s face was filled with kindness and understanding. “He needs you. Sometimes the strongest men are the ones who need the love of a woman the most.”
“I do not want to fall in love with him,” Chloe whispered. “Or have him in love with me.”
Belle touched her hand. “Sometimes we do not have a choice about these things.”
Chapter Nine
Chloe did not see Brandt the next day, or the day after. Meanwhile, Belle and Marguerite proceeded with the preparations for the betrothal party as if nothing was amiss. They solicited Chloe’s advice at every turn and if they noticed Chloe’s lack of enthusiasm, they made no comment. Marguerite cheerily informed her that progress on Waverly was proceeding at a furious pace and she had no doubt it would soon be ready for its new mistress. Chloe tried not to cringe.
Even the news that her mother was coming for the party failed to cheer her. On the third day after the kiss in the billiard room, she accompanied Belle to Haversham Hall. Marguerite shooed her from the drawing room. “Will and Caroline had been plaguing me for an age to ask if you would take them to the shore. Since I know you love to do so, I think you should go.”
Glad to escape from the betrothal plans which were suddenly turning into a small ball, Chloe left.
Will and Caroline were just as delighted to escape from the house, as was Lion, but rather than stopping to view the sea as they almost always did, they seemed in a hurry to get to the cove. She scrambled down the path after them, almost losing her balance. They ran ahead of her and she followed. Her shoes, adequate for a walk on a tame path, were no match for the sandy beach.
She nearly gave into the urge to pull her stockings and slippers off when they finally rounded the slight promontory and came to the cove. Picking her way over the rocks she did not pay much attention until she heard Lion’s excited barks. She looked up to see him dashing towards an all-too familiar male figure.
Her heart leapt to her throat and every instinct told her to flee, but he had already looked up and spotted her. She could almost feel his gaze from across the distance. Will had followed Lion across the sand and now flung himself at Brandt. Caroline stopped and waited for Chloe to catch up.
Her serious eyes searched Chloe’s face. “Mama thought it would be nice if we asked Uncle Brandt as well, but she wanted us to keep it a surprise. I hope you do not mind too much. I will own I do not like surprises very well.”
“It is all right. Sometimes I do not mind a surprise.” But not this one. “Is this to be a surprise for Uncle Brandt as well?”
“Yes.”
Splendid. She could think of nothing more awkward. Well, she would try to maintain a calm, friendly distance towards him.
At least he seemed to be heading in their direction with Will and Lion. She waited, heart pounding, until he joined her and Caroline. “Good day, Lady Chloe,” he said.
“Good day.” She was not about to call him Lord Salcombe, but she certainly did not want to use his given name if he intended to be so stupidly formal.
Will beamed. “Are you not surprised?”
“Very much so,” Brandt said. His gaze was impersonal as it swept over Chloe. “Was this a surprise for Lady Chloe as well?”
“Yes, but why are you calling her Lady Chloe? You always call her Chloe.”
“That is the proper way to address her.”
“Only if you aren’t her friend. Since you are her friend, then you should call her Chloe.”
Chloe looked at him. “He is right, of course.” She patted Will’s head and smiled at Caroline. “What shall we do now?”
“Look at the tide pools,” Will said promptly.
“Is that what you wish to do, Caroline?” Chloe asked.
“Oh, yes!” Then, recalling she was trying to behave more as a proper young lady, added, “But only until the picnic arrives.”
Chloe glanced at Brandt. “Is that plan agreeable to you?”
“Of course.”
The neutral tone in his voice made her want to hit him. She gave him a determined smile. “Well, then, shall we go?”
“Yes!” Will dashed ahead and then turned. “Hurry, Uncle Brandt!”
Caroline and Chloe followed at a more sedate pace. Unfortunately the only access to the tide pools was over a pile of rocks. Caroline was wearing sensible boots, but her own slippers would undoubtedly be cut to shreds if she wore them. Well, she would just have to remove them. At least there was one advantage to always removing shoes whenever possible. She sat down on one of the rocks. “Please go on with the others. I am going to remove my stockings and slippers.” So what if Brandt thought she was improper? He obviously did not want to marry her anyway. He could think what he liked.
Caroline hesitated. “Are you certain?”
“Yes.” Chloe shot her a quick smile.
“Very well.” Caroline still looked uncertain. “Is Uncle Brandt well?”
“Well?”
“It is just he looks rather grim. Like Papa when something is troubling him.”
“Perhaps something is.” She had no idea what to say to this astute child. “But do not worry about it. I am certain it is nothing very important.”
“I see.”
Just then Will shouted something and Caroline turned and started to climb over the rocks. Chloe bent down to untie the laces of her slippers, her mood growing more foul by the moment. Really, it was one thing for him to look so out of sorts, but another thing altogether if it over-set Caroline. If he wished to make it obvious he wanted nothing to do with her, then at least he could do it in private, rather than in front of anyone else.
Not that they would ever be private again. She scowled at the knot she had been attempting to undo and finally pulled the slipper from her foot. After that she rolled down her stockings and climbed up the first rocks. The others were already at the next pile of rocks by the tide pool. She gingerly made her way over the rocky ground. Will looked up from his position on the edge of a pool and waved.
Brandt had removed his coat and laid it across one of the rocks. He knelt next to Will, but she almost saw the muscles tense beneath his shirt at her approach. “Hello,” she said brightly. “What have you found?”
Will looked disappointed. “Only a few anemones. No starfish like last time.”
“Anemones are very interesting,” Chloe said. She moved slightly closer to Brandt. “So what are your favourite things to look for, Lord Salcombe?”
He started to glance up at her, but his attention was suddenly arrested. He looked slightly stunned before his gaze shifted to her face and narrowed. “Where are your shoes?”
“That was not my question.”
Caroline looked from one to the other, her expression slightly anxious. “Chloe often removes her shoes. She says it is much easier to keep her footing. Mama removes her shoes as well and Papa does not mind. At least, not very much.”
> “Yes, so there is no need to discuss this now,” Chloe added. She refused to quarrel with him in front of Caroline and Will.
“Very well.” But the look he gave her told her he did not intend to leave the matter alone.
Will jumped up. “The picnic is here!” He scrambled off the rock with great alacrity. “Whoever gets there first gets all the tarts.”
“That’s hardly fair!” Caroline scrambled after him, her attempts to be lady-like swallowed by the natural competition between siblings.
“Well, I certainly do not intend to go without tarts.” Suddenly shy in Brandt’s presence, Chloe jumped off the rock to the one below. She picked up her skirts to better clamber after them, and stumbled on a rock.
Strong arms caught her. She gasped and found herself looking into a cool pair of green eyes. “What the devil do you think you’re doing?”
“Laying claim to my share of tarts,” she replied.
He released her. “More likely trying to cut yourself or sprain an ankle.”
“I won’t. I do this all the time.” She lifted her chin. “At any rate, since you have made it clear we are no longer to be engaged, you have no business dictating to me.”
“It does not mean that I don’t have a responsibility towards you.”
Hurt shot through her. “No? Well, I don’t need your protection!” Chloe stormed away from him and climbed down the last rock. Her slippers and stockings were where she had left them. She had no intention of putting them on with him glaring at her so she picked them up and started across the sand towards the sheltered overhang.
At least he didn’t attempt to catch up with her. Will and Caroline were seated on the cloth spread on the ground next to the hampers. The footman had pulled out plates and utensils and she sat down by Caroline. Brandt joined them, carefully sitting as far away from Chloe as possible.
Will chattered most of the time they were eating. Chloe’s normally healthy appetite had somehow vanished. She forced a tart down her throat as Will had relented and said everyone should have one since there were too many for him to eat alone.
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