“Thank you,” Josh looked down and read the name on the volunteer badge, “Carol. These are for Bail—Dr. Rossum, do you have any idea where would be a good place for me to leave them?”
“She works up on the third floor in the pediatric unit. Take a left when you get off the elevator, her office is the third door down. Or you can leave it at the nurses’ station for her, but someone will have to buzz you in.”
“Thanks.”
Josh left the gift shop wondering if there really was any kind of a future for him and Bailey. He loved her, that was never in question. There was definitely something between them. No one could deny that.
The question was, what did she want?
And if she said she wanted to be with him, would he be able to trust that she meant it? Or would he always believe somewhere in the back of his mind that she’d settled for him because she moved back to Harper’s Crossing and her life hadn’t turned out how she’d envisioned it?
Josh didn’t want to be a consolation prize. But when he thought about the way that Bailey had kissed him, about the night that they’d shared together, he didn’t feel like he was.
He stepped on the elevator and tried not to drive himself crazy filling in answers to questions he hadn’t even asked Bailey yet. He wasn’t a psychic and he didn’t have a crystal ball. There was no way that he could predict the future.
Case in point, if someone had told him even two weeks ago that he and Bailey would be on speaking terms or that he’d be bringing her flowers, he would’ve told them that they needed serious psychological help.
When the doors opened, he stepped out onto the third floor and followed the directions that Carol had given him. He walked down the hallway but stopped when he heard two voices, one of which he recognized as Bailey, speaking in hushed tones. He stilled just before he’d be seen because he didn’t want to intrude.
He was debating whether he should leave the flowers next to her doorway, or at the nurses’ station when he heard the voice he didn’t recognize ask, “Do you know who my biological father is?”
Bailey let out a small, forced laugh. “Yes. I do.”
Josh had a fleeting thought that it was a strange conversation for Bailey to be having. She was a surgeon, not Maury Povich. He decided that the nurses’ station would be best. They’d make sure she got them.
“Were you two together or…?”
That stopped him dead in his tracks.
“Yes, we were. We were together for three years and we loved each other very much.” Bailey’s voice cracked.
What the fuck?
“Does he know about me?”
What the fuck?
“He knew I was pregnant, but he thought that I terminated the pregnancy. No one knew.”
What the fuck?
“What was he like?”
Josh stood stock-still, unable to believe what he was hearing. Part of his brain was telling him to move, to go into the room, to get visual evidence of what he was overhearing. But that was impossible. His feet were cemented to the floor. He wasn’t sure if the concrete keeping them in place was made of fear, confusion, shock, or all three.
“He was…he is…perfect.” Bailey’s voice was shaky and there was a moment’s pause before he heard Bailey chuckle softly. “I know how corny that sounds, but he really was. He really is. He’s honest almost to a fault. He’s hardworking. Smart. Funny. Not as funny as he thinks he is, but he is funny. He’s protective and caring. And I don’t know how else to describe it but, he just has this light, this goodness that radiates from him. When he looks at you, it’s like the sun shining on you.”
“Wow. Are you two still together?”
“No.” Bailey sniffed as she let out a forced laugh. “In fact, up until last week I hadn’t spoken to him in about sixteen years.”
“Last week? Really?”
“Yeah, my truck broke down and he picked me up. He wasn’t happy about it, but that’s Josh, he always does the right thing.”
“Josh? His name is Josh?”
Hearing the small, timid voice say his name shattered the emotional cement that was keeping Josh in place and he stepped around the corner. Bailey was sitting at her desk and a girl with long, blonde hair sat across from her with her back to him.
Josh couldn’t speak. He couldn’t breathe. He could barely stand.
* * *
“Yes, his name is…” Bailey thought that she must be having a fever dream when she saw Josh appear in the doorway holding a bouquet of blue irises. Her favorite. Maybe she was still asleep in the on-call room. Maybe this was all a fever dream.
Her heart stopped beating as she breathed, “Josh?”
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Angie’s brow creased before her head spun around to track Bailey’s gaze.
Bailey couldn’t say with absolute certainty that Josh overheard enough of the conversation to know what was going on, but from the look on his face, she’d say he had a pretty good guess.
Angie’s hair fanned out as her head spun back. Her eyes were wide as saucers as she asked in total disbelief, “Is that…?”
Bailey stood up, her legs barely able to hold her, but this was not a conversation that could be had sitting down. She was so scared. Terrified, actually. Fear raced through her but she wasn’t sure what, exactly, she was afraid of.
Angie followed her lead and stood as well. When she did, Bailey noticed that the nervousness that she’d seen in the teen’s eyes when she’d initially entered the office was back and it sparked an overwhelming protective instinct in her. Bailey stepped around the desk to be closer to her.
But the moment Bailey’s eyes met Josh’s, a calm washed over her and she knew that she didn’t have anything to worry about. He’d never do or say anything to hurt Angie, no matter how upset, angry, or confused he was.
“Josh this is Angie, Angie is…” Bailey wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence.
“Our daughter,” Josh finished as he stared at Angie in wonder.
“Hi.” Angie lifted her hand to shake Josh’s.
He set the flowers he’d been holding down on the seat and reached out just as Angie’s phone buzzed. She checked the message. “It’s Jacob, He’s wondering where I am. I need to get back.”
For several seconds, the three of them just stared at one another, no doubt each one taking in this surreal moment.
“Okay, well…wow. I wasn’t expecting a two-for-one deal.” She motioned between Bailey and Josh and smiled brightly. “Birth mom and birth dad. Jacob always teases me that I’m an overachiever, but this is impressive even for me.”
The trio laughed and Bailey couldn’t help but notice that Angie had not only Josh’s eyes and easy smile, but they had very similar laughs.
Angie gave Bailey a quick hug. And then started to shake Josh’s hand again, but opted to give him a hug instead. Josh’s eyes met Bailey’s and she could see the tornado of emotions swirling violently in them.
She knew that he’d have a million questions, that he might never forgive her, and even possibly hate her for the rest of his life, but she wouldn’t take this moment back for a million dollars. Seeing Josh hugging their daughter was priceless.
As Angie dropped her arms, she twisted her lips in the same expression that Bailey used often. Josh had always called it her Elvis tell.
“Would you mind if I call you or email you or something? No pressure, I just wou—”
“Of course. Yes.” With ninja-like speed, Josh whipped a card from his wallet. As he handed it to her he asked, “Are you stay—”
This time, instead of a text, her phone rang. She took the card and said, “Dr. Rossum, or um…” Angie looked over at Bailey obviously unsure of what to call her. “She’ll fill you in.” And with that, she lifted the phone to her ear as she rounded the chair to leave. “I’m on my way back. Is Noah okay?” The worry was clear in her question but so was the relief when she said, “Oh, okay, good.”
As their daughter left
the room, Bailey braced herself for the fear and anxiety to come back, but it didn’t. Yes, Josh was going to be upset, but she’d just spent the last twenty minutes having a conversation with her daughter. That was something she’d never dreamed would happen in a million years.
Nothing else mattered at this moment.
“Who’s Jacob?”
Really? Out of all the questions that Josh could’ve asked her…
“Jacob is Angie’s husband.”
“Husband?!”
“Yes.”
“She’s what…twelve?!”
“She’s eighteen.” Bailey stared at him, the significance of her age hanging between them.
“Right,” Josh put his hands in his pockets and rolled his shoulders back. “Who’s Noah?”
“Noah is…”
“I’m sorry,” Angie said, as she popped her head in the door. “One more thing, I just wanted to ask, why the name Evangeline?”
“Evangeline?” Josh repeated.
There was a lot to explain.
“That was Josh’s mother’s name.”
Angie beamed, obviously thrilled with the significance, but then her face dropped slightly. “Was…? Is she…?”
“She passed away when I was ten,” Josh explained.
“Oh no, I’m sorry,” Angie apologized as she entered the room and gave Josh a quick hug. “I’d love to know more about her but I’ve gotta…” She motioned to the door.
“You’ve got to go,” Josh finished. “I’m sure we’ll talk soon.”
Angie smiled and left once more.
This time, when they were left alone a heavy silence filled the air. Bailey knew that there was a lot to say, but she wasn’t sure where to start. She tried to gauge how this news was hitting him. Physically, he appeared to be okay. His breathing was shallow but he still had color in his face, and it didn’t look like his head was going to explode.
“She looks just like you.” Josh stared at the empty doorway. “She even did the Elvis twitch.”
“I know.” A smile spread on Bailey’s face. “But she has your eyes and smile and laugh.”
Josh inhaled sharply and his jaw tensed. It was clear by his reaction that it had been the wrong thing to say, but she honestly didn’t know the right thing to say. If she’d had any idea that this encounter was going to happen, she could’ve done some research. She would’ve written down notes so she didn’t forget anything. She would’ve rehearsed the things she planned on saying over and over and made sure they were the perfect words. She may have even hired a mediator.
Bailey Rossum didn’t leave things to chance. People assumed that her confidence was natural, but nothing could be farther from the truth. In reality, her self-assured demeanor was hard-earned. If she did something, she did it 100 percent and she did it right. She committed and never looked back.
That trait was part of the reason she’d insisted on a closed adoption. She gave her baby up and she knew that the only way she could go on and live a productive life was if she closed the door to her past. Otherwise, it would have eaten her up. If every time she went to her mailbox or checked her inbox she was waiting for a picture or an update, it would’ve consumed her.
She’d honestly never allowed herself to even fantasize about meeting her daughter. Nor did she ever imagine Josh meeting her. So, she’d certainly never entertained the idea of a dramatic family reunion such as this one.
“So, who is Noah?”
“Noah is…”
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know that you were with someone.” Vickey, the scheduling nurse stopped up short as she entered the room. “Hey Josh,” she addressed him as she handed Bailey a care package. “I was just coming to leave this.”
“Thanks, Vickey. You don’t have to do this.”
“I know, but I like to.” Vickey winked before heading out.
Whenever Vickey had to call people in or have them stay over, she gave them care packages that she made herself. Sometimes they had crossword puzzles and cookies. Some had vitamin packets and coloring books. There was always a fun activity and some kind of nourishment. It was her way of “taking care of her kids.” Like Grandpa J, she’d adopted the entire hospital staff as her own.
As soon as they were alone again, Bailey moved to shut the door. Before she could, Mr. and Mrs. Whitman, the parents of a preemie that Bailey had operated on two weeks prior, walked past the door on their way to the parents’ room.
The couple waved.
“Those flowers are beautiful,” Mrs. Whitman commented.
“They are,” Bailey agreed.
As she watched them continue on to the parents’ room, she concluded this was not the place to have a conversation as important as this one. Even if she shut the door, people would still interrupt them, and one wall of her office was floor-to-ceiling glass. This conversation was private, and probably best not to be viewed by the public.
She was the attending on-call, so she couldn’t leave the hospital and she knew that there was no way she could ask Josh to wait until she was off duty for an explanation. So that left two options. There were two places in the hospital that doctors could go to get privacy. On-call room two and the roof. She’d try the on-call room first.
“We should go somewhere where we can have some privacy.”
Josh agreed with the same tense nod he’d given her at the country club. Not that she blamed him. She’d just blown up his entire life; a tense nod was more than she deserved.
As they stepped out of the room, Josh turned toward the elevator.
“This way,” Bailey motioned as she headed to the back stairs.
If they took the elevator, when they got off on the second floor they’d have to walk by two nurses’ stations and a break room to get to the on-call room. They didn’t need any more interruptions. She might not have any idea what she was going to say to Josh, but she knew that she wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible.
“Who’s Noah?” Josh asked as soon as they started down the back stairwell.
Bailey was actually proud that he’d lasted that long without asking something.
She was in front of him, leading the way as she answered, “He’s Angie’s son.”
“She has a son?!”
“Yes.” Bailey felt herself well with emotions and her lids filled with unshed tears.
“How old is he?”
“He’s four-days old. He was born with two heart conditions. I operated on him earlier this evening.”
“You operated on him?! You’re related to him! Is that legal?” Josh’s voice rose, echoing off the cement walls of the cavernous space.
“Please, lower your voice.” Bailey started taking two steps at a time. “I didn’t know I was related to him when I performed the surgery.”
“How did you not know?”
“Because I didn’t.”
“How is that even possible?!” He was shouting now.
Bailey stopped and turned back to him. “Josh, you can scream at me all you want when we’re alone, but not here. This is my career. I know that you have a million questions and I will answer all of them. Just please, please,” she pleaded, “can we get somewhere private first?”
His nostrils flared and the vein on the side of his neck popped out, but he agreed.
She took a deep breath and prayed that the on-call room was open, because she knew there was no way Josh would be able to remain quiet if they had to make it all the way up to the roof.
Chapter 17
Josh’s mind was going a million miles per hour as they exited the stairwell. Questions were whizzing around in a flurry. As soon as he thought of one, it seemed like a hundred more popped up. In the blink of an eye, his entire world had just changed. Everything he knew to be true wasn’t. Nothing was the same. Nothing made sense.
“Oh, good.” Bailey sighed in relief when she tried the door to the room she’d been in earlier. “It’s open.”
As soon as they stepped inside and the door shut b
ehind them, the only sound in the room was their labored breathing. Josh was on the brink of hyperventilating, either from the brisk walk down the stairs or from the emotionally charged environment. He’d put money on the latter.
“I want to know everything. Start from the beginning,” Josh demanded.
Bailey tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and motioned to the cot. “Do you want to sit?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“I think I need to.” As she lowered onto the mattress, Josh noticed that her face was drained of color. Despite himself, his first instinct was to take care of her.
“Do you need some water?” He filled a paper cup from the dispenser in the corner without waiting for her response.
When he straightened and handed it to her, she lifted it to her lips and drank it in two gulps.
“Thank you,” she wiped her lips with the back of her hand before setting the cup down on the end table. “The beginning, okay. Well, obviously, I didn’t go through with the abortion. I thought I could do it, but when I got into the room, I started having a panic attack and I had to do what was right for me.”
“For you?! What was right for you?!” Josh spit out. He’d planned on remaining silent while she spoke, but that statement hit a nerve.
“Yes.” Bailey stared at him, challenge glinting in her hazelnut gaze. “For me.”
Anger rippled through him. “What about me? What about what was right for me? Why didn’t you tell me?! Didn’t you think I had a right to weigh in on what was right for me, for us, for our baby?!”
“You did,” she stated with a calm authority, not backing down an inch.
His blood boiled as he exploded. “No, I didn’t! You showed up at my door the morning after we were in the emergency room and you told me you had an appointment at a clinic. It wasn’t even a discussion!”
“Yes, you did.” She stood up.
Tears began falling down her cheeks and for the first time, Josh didn’t want to make them stop. He was so angry, so betrayed. He couldn’t believe how she was rewriting history.
“You said that we were too young. You said that having a baby would ruin your life.” Bailey’s voice cracked as she sucked in a shaky breath. “You said I would be a horrible mom because my mom was such a bitch.”
Just One Night - Josh & Bailey (Crossroads Book 13) Page 14
