I reached for my sweatshirt to try and allow this girl some sort of modesty – some kind of respect in death – but I wasn’t wearing it. Heven was. Heven – who was alive and breathing.
But for how long?
I jumped up and turned, ready to race to her side. To reassure myself that she was still safe.
The monster stood yards away, staring at me…smiling.
“Take a good long look.” The voice was taunting and smug. “The way her blond hair hangs limp, the cuts and scrapes that still leak with blood, the way her blue eyes stare out, vacant and flat. The next time you see this sight, it will be her. And there will be nothing that you can do to save her.”
Disgust, hot and acrid, speared through me. Before I knew it I was launching myself straight at the person I hated most in this world. We rolled across the ground, and when we stopped I was on top. I didn’t even think twice before I plowed my fist into flesh and bone.
The monster yelled, and I shoved a hand over a wide-open mouth. The last thing we needed was for someone to hear and come running. I stared down at the struggling form beneath me. Teeth cut into my hand but I didn’t care. There was only one way I could think of that would allow us to have it out with no one able to see and hear.
I got up, dragging the monster with me, and ran quickly through the trees. Thankfully, the walk wasn’t far, and when I got there I delivered another solid punch before tossing the body in the lake.
Then I jumped in too.
The water was cold and dark. In that moment I realized the fear that Heven must have felt when she was drowning. How overwhelming it would be if I didn’t know how to swim.
But I did.
And I was very good.
I looked through the dark water, my eyesight already adjusting to the murkiness. The monster was there, a body in transition. My body quivered with need, but I held back. If I transformed now my clothes would be ruined. How would I explain that?
Fortunately for me, I wasn’t that worked up. The minute I realized that it wasn’t Heven lying there mauled and dead, I calmed down. I knew that I should feel guilty for not mourning that dead girl, and there was a part of me that was, but Heven was my only priority, and I couldn’t think beyond her.
Strangely, I felt calm…almost resigned to this fight, to this battle. I knew what I had to do and I knew that there was only one acceptable outcome. I could do this.
I had to.
The monster came at me, and I was thankful we were underwater. It made it easier to flip myself around and throw both legs out in a hard kick. My feet caught the beast and sent it floating back. I cut through the water, grabbing out but coming up empty. I ducked just as a hit was about to connect with my face and I swam down, deeper into the water.
I was grabbed from behind and slammed into the rocky floor of the lake. I spun and kicked out again. I sat crouched and ready for the next charge but instead I watched as the monster swam away.
When I was certain that it wasn’t coming back, I pushed up to the surface of the water and took a deep breath. I swam quickly to the shore, making sure I was still away from the house and walked up onto the shore.
I stuck my hand in my pocket to be sure the bracelet was still there. It was. Then I rushed to the edge of the trees and looked through the crowd and up to the deck. Heven was still sitting there, her eyes scanning the crowd below. No doubt, she was wondering what was taking me so long.
The DJ turned down the music and spoke into the microphone. “Will Andi Richards please come up to the booth? Sean is looking for you.”
My heart sank at the thought of the body lying in the woods. She wouldn’t be coming back to the party. She wouldn’t be doing anything ever again.
I couldn’t risk her being found. I couldn’t risk calling the cops. I shuddered at the thought of answering their questions and seeing their suspicious faces.
There was only one thing to do.
I made my way, quietly this time, back through the woods. Her body was exactly as it had been before. I reached down and pulled her around; her body fell heavily onto her back. Her eyes stared up at me, vacant and shocked. The last moments of her life had been horrible and no one should have to die that way.
Her face was mauled and bloody. Her body was broken and almost naked. Her skin and lips were already blue, and I closed my eyes to the awful sight.
Trying to detach myself, I picked her up and ignored the way her eyes seemed to stare at me. I went quickly to the lake shore, thankful that there was still the cover of trees and walked right into the water. For the second time that night, I threw a body into the lake.
Except this time, this body wouldn’t be coming back out. I watched the girl float and realized that I would have to weight her body to make it sink. With a sick feeling in my stomach I dove to the bottom and grabbed a heavy rock. Then from beneath the water I grabbed her leg and pulled her down….then further down still.
At the bottom of the lake, I held her body and placed several large rocks on top of her. There was some long vegetation growing, and I wound it around her hands and arms. I looked down at her face, her eyes still wide open. I reached out and closed them, hopefully bringing her some peace.
I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve this. But it was you or Heven. I won’t let this happen to her. So it had to be you.
Then I swam away without looking back.
Heven
One second he wasn’t there but the next he was, striding through the crowd, dripping wet and pushing the hair up off his forehead. He seemed to walk like he was weighed down, like something was wrong. I took that as a sign he didn’t find my bracelet. I resolved to myself that it was gone, and I vowed to not show him how upset that made me.
From across the table Cole and Kimber were talking, but I wasn’t paying any attention. I was focused on Sam. He stepped up onto the deck, and I couldn’t help but notice the way his wet t-shirt was plastered to his broad chest. When he caught me staring, he smiled, and his face transformed from torment to peace.
He slid into the vacant seat next to me and icy droplets of water fell against my hand. “You are soaking wet!” I exclaimed.
“I found you something.” He grinned.
“You did?” I asked.
He held out his palm and uncurled his fingers. My bracelet was there, nestled against his skin. I gasped and threw my arms around his neck. “You found it!”
He laughed, his arms clasping me tightly, his face buried in my neck.
“It was in the lake?” How did he find it?
“I guess I got lucky.” He said, kissing me on the nose. I laughed and scooped it out of his hand.
“I am so glad that you found it, Hev.” Kimber said.
“Thanks.” I smiled. “Can you put it on me?” I asked Sam.
“I think I better fix the clasp first, before you wear it again.”
I felt disappointed but he was right. I would rather not wear it than risk losing it again. “Okay,” I agreed and handed it back to him.
“I’ll give it back to you tomorrow.”
I nodded. I knew it would be safe with Sam.
“We should be going.” Sam said quietly to me.
I nodded, ready to leave.
He stood, his keys appearing in his hand, and Kimber came over to give me a hug. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Sure. I can help you clean up all this if you want.”
“You’re the best friend ever, Heven,” Kimber said, hugging me again. “And I am so, so sorry about what happened earlier.”
“I know. Happy birthday.” I returned her hug.
I gave a wave to Cole as Sam’s hand found mine. When we were around the side of the house I said, “That was quite a night.”
He made a sound in his throat. “How are you doing? You feeling okay?”
“Yes. Thanks to you.” I smiled, but he didn’t smile back. “Are you okay?”
His arms surrounded me and his chin rested on the top of my head. He was s
o solid and even though he was wet, he was still incredibly warm and I couldn’t help feeling safe, even when he acted so mysterious. When he didn’t answer I tried to pull back, but he wouldn’t let me and finally he spoke, his voice a mere whisper, “When you fell into the lake…I had no idea that you couldn’t swim. I never would have let you wonder off that far.”
“I was hardly twenty feet away!”
“It was too far,” he murmured, squeezing me tighter.
“But you pulled me out. And everything’s okay.”
“Let’s try and take it easy for a while, huh? At least until prom.”
“Prom?” I stepped back and looked up.
He grinned. “You are going with me aren’t you? You didn’t agree to go with that jock, did you?”
“Who?” I wondered.
His grin got bigger. “Good answer.”
“Oh. Brice? Yeah, right.” I rolled my eyes.
“So…me and you?” he asked, his tawny eyes turning serious.
“Of course,” I said, transfixed. I would go anywhere with him, even the depths of Hell.
“That’s my girl,” he whispered, hooking his arm around me and settling me in the truck.
As he walked around to the driver’s side, I came out of my happy fog just long enough to see his eyes scan the trees one last time before climbing in and locking the doors behind him.
The Hate
Rage boiled my blood, and I screamed at the sky. I could feel droplets of spittle gathering around the edges of my mouth as I screamed, but I didn’t care. I pretended the moisture was blood…and it had come from Heven.
But I loved to see the complete devastation that he felt when he saw that corpse in the woods. He thought it was his precious little love. He’s so pathetic, standing in the woods and mourning over a silly girl. Love is for the weak.
The only way to make him strong…to make him see who he truly is…is murder. The bitch must die. Though her death will mean his suffering, it isn’t enough. I want him to feel as much pain as possible. I want his soul destroyed.
So before I murder her and spread her insides out for him to see, I have a plan. I will whisper all the lies he tells her, the secrets he keeps, in her ear.
How satisfying it will be when he sees her gaze of love turn to disgust. She will rip out his heart. I will rip out hers.
Then his soul will be mine.
The Hope
But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn,
which shines brighter and brighter until full day.
The way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
they do not know over what they stumble.
—Proverbs 4:18-19
Chapter Thirteen
Heven
A masquerade ball – the perfect disguise. My stomach fluttered and anticipation curled around me. I almost forgot what this feeling was like. This feeling of excitement. When was the last time I was excited about anything? (Besides Sam, of course!) I couldn’t remember. I do know that it had been Before. Tonight was different, though. Tonight things felt almost normal.
I turned up the volume on my stereo, not caring a bit if Mom thought it was too loud. Tonight was my night. I was going to enjoy it, because come midnight, I turned back into a pumpkin. Pushing that bit of depression back into the corner of my mind, I stepped in front of my mirror, not an ounce of trepidation in the act. I knew what I was going to see and what I wasn’t.
I smiled, my glossy pink lips glistening. I looked hot. Just like Before. I giggled a little, almost giddy. I took a moment to really look at myself because I hadn’t in so very long. My long blond hair was parted down the center, with two loose French braids woven with peacock blue satin sweeping the hair away from my face and stopping just behind my ears. The rest of my hair was left loose to trail down my back, and its softness brushed against my bare shoulders. My dress was strapless, a deep, vibrant shade of blue, fitted at the top to lightly flare out just beneath my bust and float to the floor. At my knees the color of the fabric began to fade, and where it skimmed the floor, it turned silver. Around my neck hung a silver teardrop pendant, and on my feet were strappy silver flats. No heels for me. Secretly, I liked being short. Especially when I stood next to Sam. He towered over me, always, unknowingly, making me feel protected. My stomach did a little flip at the thought. I could almost die waiting to see what he would say when he saw me tonight.
Tonight things would change for us.
I was ready.
Ready to say the words he wanted to hear.
The doorbell rang, and my heart fell to my belly. He was here! I took a calming breath, not that it helped, and looked back in the mirror once more. I did my makeup tonight, lining my eyes in charcoal, giving them a smoky look, and adding a silvery shadow to my lids. The rest of my face was more natural, but it needed to be because of the mask. At first I was thrilled to wear a mask because it was a chance to cover up my scars, to be like everyone else for a night. It definitely hid my scars, but it also looked dramatic, stylish and a little bit mysterious.
“Heven, you’re date is here,” Mom called up the stairs.
“Coming!” I called, checking the mask one last time.
It was the same color blue as my dress. It molded perfectly around the side of my face with soft feathers tipped in silver, curling around my cheek and eye. It managed to cover every inch of my ugliness and highlighted the blue of my eyes and the creaminess of my skin.
Like I said, I was hot.
With a spin I grabbed my bracelet off my dresser and left my room, practically running down the stairs.
Sam was waiting.
When I descended the stairs a hush fell over the room. I realize that there was only mom and Sam, but I swear it felt like every single noise, every single movement stopped for a few precious seconds. How could I have ever doubted my beauty, my confidence…my self-worth?
“Heven, honey, you look beautiful.” My mother gasped in a hushed tone. “You’re just stunning.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I said, but I didn’t look her way. I was too busy looking at Sam.
His whiskey colored eyes widened at the sight of me and I saw him draw a breath that he never let out. The hand to his side flexed, almost as if he ached to touch me. I liked to imagine that he did.
The silk of my dress brushed against my ankles as I stepped down off the last step and Sam closed the distance between us in two great strides. But then he stopped, not touching me the way I imagined. Instead he stared, those honey gold eyes never leaving me.
“You two are just gorgeous together. Let me get a photo.” Mom ran from the room to get a camera, but I barely noticed.
“Hi,” I murmured.
“Hi,” he said, clearing his throat. “You look…” his words fell away and I saw his Adam’s apple bob against the collar of his shirt. “I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful.”
“You clean up good yourself.” I blushed. “Is that for me?” I asked, looking down at the clear box that held a flower.
“Yes.” He fumbled with the lid, having to try twice to get it open. I smiled. It was the first time I had ever seen him fumble at anything. Usually he was so sure of himself. Finally he lifted out a delicate flower. It was a white lily with blue and silver ribbons. I held out my arm and he slid it over my wrist. It was perfect.
Mom rushed back in the room with a camera and another clear box. “Oh! I forgot,” I said, rushing over to take the box. “Thanks, Mom.”
Mom snapped pictures as I leaned in close to pin the boutonniere on the jacket of his tux. It was also a white Lily with blue and silver ribbon. I couldn’t help but breathe deeply of his deep, natural scent. I was so proud to call him mine.
We posed for several pictures and for once, I didn’t mind being in front of the camera. With my head held high I smiled while Sam placed his arm around my waist. When we were finished, Mom reminded me of my curfew, and then Sam whisked me out the door.
It was the start of what I hoped would b
e a very memorable evening.
He couldn’t keep his eyes off me. Or his hands. It was amazing the number of ways he could find to touch me in some small way: his palm at the small of my back, knuckles across my cheek, and his fingers playing with the ends of my hair. If this night was a dream, I prayed I’d never wake up. He pulled the truck into one of the last parking spaces and shut off the engine. His eyes were unreadable and delicious as he leaned toward me, brushing his arm across my lap to open my door.
“Stay put,” he whispered, withdrawing his arm. “I’ll be right there to help you.”
And he was, placing his hands at my waist and lifting me from the truck’s cab. “You’re so beautiful I can barely breathe tonight.”
I didn’t respond because I couldn’t breathe either. These last few weeks had been like a fairytale.
He stood me on my feet and leaned in close. “Your heart is racing.”
I nodded. The way he smelled, the heat of his body…I was surrounded by him. I leaned back, mere inches, to rest against the side of the truck, settling in.
“Careful,” he warned, slipping his hands between me and the truck. “Don’t want to get that dress dirty.”
At the moment I didn’t care.
“Ready to go in?”
I shook my head.
He laughed softly and dipped his head. His lips were like they always were – warm, soft and giving. His breath was sweet like a candy only he knew about, and his tongue was just the right combination of rough and gentle. I moaned and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him back, hoping that maybe my kisses were just as sweet to him.
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